
The Kiss Quotient
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Carly Robins
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By:
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Helen Hoang
About this listen
A cosmopolitan title to get excited about in 2018!
Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases - a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with as well as way less experience in the dating department than the average 30-year-old. It doesn't help that she has Asperger's and that French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. She decides that she needs lots of practice - with a professional - which is why she hires escort Michael Phan.
The Vietnamese-Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer, and he agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan - from foreplay to more-than-missionary position... Before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses but also to crave all of the other things he's making her feel. Their no-nonsense partnership starts making a strange kind of sense. And the pattern that emerges convinces Stella that love is the best kind of logic...
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Editorial review
By Mysia Haight, Audible Editor
NEURODIVERSITY MEETS PASSION IN THE KISS QUOTIENT
My cousin Mallory is autistic. She's 29, nearly a decade older than my daughter, and we get together every few months. I love hearing her talk about subjects she’s passionate about—bluegrass music and elephants, among them—and I'm used to her sensory sensitivities, including discomfort with being hugged.
Because I know and love Mallory, I was fascinated by Helen Hoang’s romance, The Kiss Quotient. After reading an author profile and discovering Hoang's own autism story, I just had to listen to the audiobook. I was immediately captivated by the heroine at its heart, Stella Lane. Smart and driven, Stella has a rewarding, well-paid Silicon Valley job as an econometrician—she comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases. Outside of work, her life is unfulfilling and lonely. Stella is autistic, and struggles with being comfortable in social situations. Though not a virgin, she doesn’t enjoy sex (especially if there’s revolting French kissing involved) and has never experienced romance. At 30, she feels her mother’s pressure to meet someone to settle down with like a dragon breathing down her neck. So, Stella decides to start her search for a mate by improving her skills in the bedroom. Taking a methodical approach, she hires a professional coach—a male escort. Enter Michael Phan.
Half Vietnamese, half Swedish, and all hunk, Michael blew me away. He's confounded by Stella, but he does what she hires him to do—teach her how to have sex with a priority on pleasure. The lessons get steamy! But Michael is also tender, patient, and kind to Stella. While practicing having sex, again and again, they gradually develop a genuine relationship that’s romantic, giving, and mutually satisfying.
While following Stella and Michael’s journey from transactional to true love, you’ll get to know their complicated backstories and colorful families, all brought vividly to life by the voices of Carly Robins—a narrator who also rocks at making love scenes sound clinical and sexy at the same time. Throughout, Hoang writes with deep empathy and respect for her flawed lead characters, and Stella and Michael come to understand and respect one another too. I recently recommended The Kiss Quotient to Mallory, and I hope she enjoys Stella's story as much as I did.
Continue reading Mysia's review >
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Ever since she sat next to me in class and gave me death eyes, Willa Sutter's been on my shit list. Why she hates me, I don't know. What I do know is that Willa is the kind of chaos I don't need in my tidy life. She's the next generation of women's soccer. Wild hair, wilder eyes. Bee-stung lips that should be illegal. And a temper that makes the devil seem friendly. She's a thorn in my side, a menacing, cantankerous pain-in-the-ass who's turned our business mathematics course into a goddamn gladiator arena. I'll leave this war zone unscathed, coming out on top....
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circles
- By Amazing on 06-27-24
By: Chloe Liese
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Malibu Rising
- A Novel
- By: Taylor Jenkins Reid
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Malibu: August 1983. It’s the day of Nina Riva’s annual end-of-summer party, and anticipation is at a fever pitch. Everyone wants to be around the famous Rivas: Nina, the talented surfer and supermodel; brothers Jay and Hud, one a championship surfer, the other a renowned photographer; and their adored baby sister, Kit. Together the siblings are a source of fascination in Malibu and the world over—especially as the offspring of the legendary singer Mick Riva. The only person not looking forward to the party of the year is Nina herself.
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Malibu Sinking
- By SB on 06-01-21
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The Making of Us
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Jewell
- Narrated by: Helen Duff
- Length: 13 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Lydia, Dean, and Robyn live very different lives, but each of them, independently, has always felt that something was missing. What they don't know is that a letter is about to arrive that will turn their lives upside down. It's a letter containing a secret - one that will bind them together and show them what love and family and friendship really mean.
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Extraordinary Stories
- By JimKnott on 08-16-18
By: Lisa Jewell
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The Third Wife
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Jewell
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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In the early hours of a summer morning, a young woman steps into the path of an oncoming bus. A tragic accident? Or suicide? At the center of this puzzle is Adrian Wolfe, a successful architect and grief-stricken widower, who, a year after his third wife's death, begins to investigate the cause. As Adrian looks back on their brief but seemingly happy marriage, disturbing secrets begin to surface. The divorces from his two previous wives had been amicable, or so it seemed; his children, all five of them, were resilient as ever, or so he thought.
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Not a mystery
- By Susan on 07-06-18
By: Lisa Jewell
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Can You Keep a Secret?
- By: Sophie Kinsella
- Narrated by: Rebecca Humphries
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Emma is like every girl in the world. She has a few little secrets.…until she spills them all to a handsome stranger on a plane. After all, she'll never see him again. But on Monday morning, Emma's office is abuzz about the arrival of Jack Harper, the company's elusive CEO. Suddenly Emma is face-to-face with the stranger from the plane, a man who knows every single humiliating detail about her. Things couldn't possibly get worse... Until they do.
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Chaotic boy meets girl.
- By Karen S. Simpson on 05-02-25
By: Sophie Kinsella
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Handle with Care
- By: Helena Hunting
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt, Jacob Morgan
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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After the death of his father, Lincoln Moorehead finds himself in the middle of a drama. He's been named CEO of Moorehead Media, much to his brother’s chagrin. But Lincoln’s bad attitude softens when he meets the no-nonsense, gorgeous woman who has been given the task of transforming him from the gruff, wilderness guy to a suave businessman.
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Great story, great narration
- By LAS on 08-30-19
By: Helena Hunting
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Idiot
- Essays
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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From YouTube star and Facebook Video sensation Laura Clery comes a collection of comedic essays in the vein of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby and You’ll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein.
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So bad
- By bonkers on 02-05-20
By: Laura Clery
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The Address
- A Novel
- By: Fiona Davis
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld, Brittany Pressley
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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When a chance encounter with Theodore Camden, one of the architects of the grand New York apartment house the Dakota, leads to a job offer for Sara Smythe, her world is suddenly awash in possibility - no mean feat for a servant in 1884. The opportunity to move to America. The opportunity to be the female manager of the Dakota. And the opportunity to see more of Theo, who understands Sara like no one else...and is living in the Dakota with his wife and three young children.
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Should be a movie!
- By Linda Slater on 10-19-17
By: Fiona Davis
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The Real Deal
- A Novel
- By: Lauren Blakely
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon, Zachary Webber
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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April Hamilton wants you to know she hasn’t been on Craigslist since that time she sold her futon after college. She doesn’t even spend that much time online. And even if she did, she would not be looking up personal ads. But going home alone for her family's summer reunion is an invitation for every single relative to butt into her personal life. She simply can’t handle another blind date with the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker from her hometown. So when she finds the Craigslist ad for a boyfriend-for-hire, she’s ready to pay to play.
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Good story, however...
- By Wendy on 07-22-18
By: Lauren Blakely
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Know Your Newlywed
- By: Heather Taylor, Hillary Nussbaum, Elena Armas
- Narrated by: Mary Mouser, Tyler Posey, Joniece Abbott-Pratt, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Tyler Posey (Teen Wolf) and Mary Mouser (Cobra Kai) star in this swoon-worthy, full-cast rom-com! When two super-fans of a beloved dating gameshow hear that it’s being rebooted, they decide to team up and fake a marriage to compete in the hilarious new audiobook Know Your Newlywed, written by Heather Taylor and Hillary Nussbaum, and executive produced by New York Times bestselling author Elena Armas.
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so sweet
- By lovebooks19 on 02-24-25
By: Heather Taylor, and others
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The Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post
- A Novel
- By: Allison Pataki
- Narrated by: Barrie Kreinik
- Length: 14 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Mrs. Post, the President and First Lady are here to see you. . . . So begins another average evening for Marjorie Merriweather Post. Presidents have come and gone, but she has hosted them all. Growing up in the modest farmlands of Battle Creek, Michigan, Marjorie was inspired by a few simple rules: always think for yourself, never take success for granted, and work hard—even when deemed American royalty, even while covered in imperial diamonds.
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That's 10 hours of my life I'll never get back
- By Andrea L. Helms on 03-30-22
By: Allison Pataki
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Bully
- Fall Away, Book 1
- By: Penelope Douglas
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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I've been humiliated, shut out, and gossiped about all through high school. His pranks and rumors got worse as time wore on. I even went to Europe for a year, just to avoid him. But I'm done hiding from him now, and there's no way I'll allow him to ruin another year. He might not have changed, but I have. It's time to fight back.
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Love the story
- By Michelle G. on 05-10-17
By: Penelope Douglas
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Take Me Home
- By: Melanie Sweeney
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley, Zachary Webber
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Hazel Elliot never looks back. If a door closes, she burns the whole house down. But when she’s invited to her father’s wedding, she’s forced to return to Lockett Prairie, Texas, for the first time since she fled for college. Ash Campbell has been in love with Hazel since she dated his best friend in high school. Now, Ash and Hazel’s relationship is limited to playful feuding over the best chair in their favorite coffee shop, but his attraction to the prickly girl from home has only grown stronger.
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good story, annoying fmc
- By Jessi Johnson on 07-11-24
By: Melanie Sweeney
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The Villa
- A Novel
- By: Rachel Hawkins
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Kimberly M. Wetherell, Shiromi Arserio
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As kids, Emily and Chess were inseparable. But by their 30s, their bond has been strained by the demands of their adult lives. So when Chess suggests a girls trip to Italy, Emily jumps at the chance to reconnect with her best friend.
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like Gillian Flynn's version of Eat pray love
- By Patricia on 01-04-23
By: Rachel Hawkins
What listeners say about The Kiss Quotient
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- HarleyGirl
- 11-27-18
Quirky sweet socially challenged nerd + tormented, hot Korean hunk= HEA
New author to me, Helen Hoang, offered me some fresh elements- at least unusual in that I can’t remember reading a romance where these characteristics were central to the h or H. Stella, the h is a really endearing character- an econometrics professional who is extremely successful in her field, probably partially due to her hyper focus on her job because her Aspergers makes a social life problematic- and a love life and dating has been confusing and unsatisfying too. Missed signals are just one problem. But now, to complicate matters, as she neared 30 her Mom has expressed her hope for grandchildren and has been pressing for her to date more. Stella’s parents are not a problem- they seem supportive in their way and she loves them and sees them often. So, she just would like to make them happy- if only she could figure out how. A chance conversation in her office inspires her and she bravely comes up with a Plan. On the face of it, a goofy plan...but intellectually... probably pretty sound! She will hire a tutor who will teach her and help her figure out what has been going wrong in her relationships with men in the past. Then she can fix it, and because he will be objective and a professional there won’t be emotions involved. Enter Michael. Yummmm...Michael. Google Daniel Denny (if you don’t already know who this hunky part, I think, Korean actor- “Criminal Minds” among many others). His reasons for becoming an “ escort” are very complex but she still got lucky when she selected him to teach her. Their story...learning about them, their families, their backstories, quirks- all of it- is very satisfying. Interesting characters, interesting issues, interesting resolutions. In typical plot device fashion, I didn’t agree with every choice...but how that initial simple agreement went through a metamorphosis as the journey progressed and actually taught both of them lessons - about themselves and their lives and about Choices- was satisfying. I also liked that the author presented the characters main issues unapologetically- never wimping out. I kept going to the end and you probably will to. Try it!
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25 people found this helpful
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- Stacey
- 06-23-18
What an experience...
Listening to The Kiss Quotient was an intense experience for me. I don't think I have ever listened to a book and felt so drawn in. There was one particular scene where the main character has a panic attack, and to be honest, I was right there alongside her with my heart pumping. It happened on the way to work and by the time I got there, I was a jittery mess. I was completely sucked in.
The first half of the story, I was completely riveted and loved getting to know Stella and Michael. Stella was quirky and I loved seeing her process her surroundings and deal with her ticks. Michael was interesting to get to know. His burdens, the guilt attached to his choices and his embarrassment with a job he does because he has to not because he wants to, are at times hard to witness. Both Stella and Michael are originals.
The second half of the book lost a little of the momentum for me. When we are faced with drama, misunderstandings and a lack of communication, I felt it was a little misplaced. Her previous openness deserted her and Michael's patience and concern for her happiness seemed to have disappeared. I was just a little disappointed.
The narrator does an exceptional job but I think her work was made easier for her considering what she got to work with. Her slight accent with certain characters, her ability to give us an experience and not just read it to us made it even more amazing.
I enjoyed The Kiss Quotient and I will definitely be reading more from this author in the future.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Maya Peled-raz
- 07-02-18
Good premise got lost on the way...
Got to chapter 17... and just couldn't go any further. Had enough of characters' self doubt and constant rethinking in my ear.
wish it had gone in a different direction and not wasted its potential.
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4 people found this helpful
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- eiram430
- 04-29-19
Its good
I loved this book until the last 3 hours or so. Got so repetitive and I found myself wishing for it the end already. I liked the story and the characters just think it could have been shorter.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Jeanne
- 05-05-19
Sexy, boring and very predictable
Story moves along slowly. I couldn’t wait for it to be done. Very predictable ending and storyline not exciting at all. Narration was good except for Michael’s voice. Bit irritating. I need a little more story for such a long listen. Every chapter seemed the same.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-28-18
Steamy!!
I couldn’t get enough... I found myself fanning myself! Loved the story it was cute, the sexy scenes were steamy!
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- Madison
- 05-05-19
fell in love
loved this story and the representation of a main character with autism. I looked forward to my drive to work everyday so that I could hear what happens next.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazing Customer
- 03-20-19
A book that moved me!
I loved this book! I could relate to Stella and her little quirks. At times, I could really feel the emotions that the author was describing. My husband and son both have Aspergers. Even though it was Stella who was autistic it this story, I think it gave me a better insight on what one with this condition goes through, when it comes to matters of the heart. Thank you for writing such a story.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-27-19
Super cute & very sexy!
I grabbed this title thinking it was something that had been recommended. I’m so glad I made a mistake! I was in love with this story from the start. The characters have quirks and backgrounds that make them so charming and unpredictable. Their story and connection is somehow equal parts adorable and super sexy. The more they connected, the more charmed I was. A sweet, happy story without being predictable. Highly recommended!
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- Eboni
- 03-30-19
Absolutely Loved This!
So cute and goodness gracious Michael was so sensual! I swoon. Take me now! Ha! 😉 I need a Michael in my life!
Having a best friend with Aspergers, Helen really zoned in on the reality about the difficulties people have with communication that comes with everyday social interaction. I loved how patient Michael was with her, how respectful. I loved the insight the author gave into Vietnamese culture.
This book was really good. A start to finish read in 1 day flat. Definitely going to check out more from this author and narrator as I've never had the pleasure of listening to Carly before.
Thank you for sharing your story, Helen!
5 stars!
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1 person found this helpful