
The Moron at the End of This Book
Short Stories from a Life, Well, Lived
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Andrew Couch
-
By:
-
Andrew Couch
About this listen
The Moron at the End of This Book is an insightful, self-scrutinizing memoir about the highs and woes of a life, perhaps not well-lived, but, well, lived. With a collection of short stories and love letters to the living and the dead, author Andrew Couch calls upon nearly 40 years of impulsive actions, unusual friendships, odd jobs, and a careworn moral compass to deliver a mercifully one of a kind account of a man in search of approval from his child self.
In "First Communion Blues", the glory of virtue and faith collide with the agony of excess and innocence.
Take an engaging and darkly humorous journey through questionable but entertaining choices connecting near-death-by-karate-belt to slap-dash psycho-analysis in "Hang On, Diagnosis!"
Get a behind-the-retail-counter glimpse into the world of fanatical but sweet post-mortem Elvis worship in "Graceland".
In "Ain’t No Heroes Here", we learn why drugs might be bad for people.
In "Curiosity Killed the Cake", we learn why drugs might be bad for coconut cake and good sex.
And, of course, no good memoir would be complete without mention of the coming-of-age, poorly handled bodily functions revealed in "Of Course, I Give a Shit".
“Moron may be my native tongue, but to be useful is my love language. I’ve pursued my weird interests and developed various skills for that purpose—to be useful. I’m the kind of guy you can trust to be on time while ensuring you maintain a sense of moral and intellectual superiority. You know, like a dog or a child of average intelligence.” (Andrew Couch)
Learn more @ MoronBook.com
©2023 Andrew Couch (P)2023 Andrew CouchListeners also enjoyed...
-
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
- The Definitive How-To Guide
- By: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark
- Narrated by: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark, Paul Giamatti
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation. In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being "nice" or "helpful." They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful issues with empathy and frankness.
-
-
I just really enjoyed Karen crying
- By VOGUEMAG on 05-28-19
By: Karen Kilgariff, and others
-
The Best of Me
- By: David Sedaris
- Narrated by: David Sedaris
- Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For more than 25 years, David Sedaris has been carving out a unique literary space, virtually creating his own genre. A Sedaris story may seem confessional, but is also highly attuned to the world outside. It opens our eyes to what is at absurd and moving about our daily existence. And it is almost impossible to listen without laughing.
-
-
Almost No New Material
- By Lizardectomy on 11-05-20
By: David Sedaris
-
Hollywood Park
- A Memoir
- By: Mikel Jollett
- Narrated by: Mikel Jollett
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hollywood Park is a remarkable memoir of a tumultuous life. Mikel Jollett was born into one of the country’s most infamous cults and subjected to a childhood filled with poverty, addiction, and emotional abuse. Yet, ultimately, his is a story of fierce love and family loyalty told in a raw, poetic voice that signals the emergence of a uniquely gifted writer.
-
-
An honest and heartbreakingly beautiful memoir
- By Jeannete Coronel on 05-28-20
By: Mikel Jollett
-
Acid for the Children
- A Memoir
- By: Flea
- Narrated by: Flea
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Iconic bassist and co-founder of the immortal Red Hot Chili Peppers finally tells his fascinating life story, complete with all the dizzying highs and the gutter lows you'd expect from an LA street rat turned world-famous rock star.
-
-
Flea gets it right...
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-19
By: Flea
-
The Wreckage of My Presence
- Essays
- By: Casey Wilson
- Narrated by: Casey Wilson
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Casey Wilson has a lot on her mind and she isn’t afraid to share. In this dazzling collection, each essay skillfully constructed and brimming with emotion, she shares her thoughts on the joys and vagaries of modern-day womanhood and motherhood, introduces the not-quite-typical family that made her who she is, and persuasively argues that lowbrow pop culture is the perfect lens through which to examine human nature.
-
-
Would have been 5 stars without the political commentary
- By Leslie Francis on 05-14-21
By: Casey Wilson
-
The Guncle
- By: Steven Rowley
- Narrated by: Steven Rowley
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Patrick, or Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP, for short), has always loved his niece, Maisie, and nephew, Grant. That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. But in terms of caretaking and relating to two children, no matter how adorable, Patrick is, honestly, overwhelmed. So when tragedy strikes and Maisie and Grant lose their mother and Patrick's brother has a health crisis of his own, Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian.
-
-
In two words . . . Loved it!!
- By Donna Rauch Lanford on 06-05-21
By: Steven Rowley
-
Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered
- The Definitive How-To Guide
- By: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark
- Narrated by: Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark, Paul Giamatti
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation. In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being "nice" or "helpful." They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful issues with empathy and frankness.
-
-
I just really enjoyed Karen crying
- By VOGUEMAG on 05-28-19
By: Karen Kilgariff, and others
-
The Best of Me
- By: David Sedaris
- Narrated by: David Sedaris
- Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For more than 25 years, David Sedaris has been carving out a unique literary space, virtually creating his own genre. A Sedaris story may seem confessional, but is also highly attuned to the world outside. It opens our eyes to what is at absurd and moving about our daily existence. And it is almost impossible to listen without laughing.
-
-
Almost No New Material
- By Lizardectomy on 11-05-20
By: David Sedaris
-
Hollywood Park
- A Memoir
- By: Mikel Jollett
- Narrated by: Mikel Jollett
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hollywood Park is a remarkable memoir of a tumultuous life. Mikel Jollett was born into one of the country’s most infamous cults and subjected to a childhood filled with poverty, addiction, and emotional abuse. Yet, ultimately, his is a story of fierce love and family loyalty told in a raw, poetic voice that signals the emergence of a uniquely gifted writer.
-
-
An honest and heartbreakingly beautiful memoir
- By Jeannete Coronel on 05-28-20
By: Mikel Jollett
-
Acid for the Children
- A Memoir
- By: Flea
- Narrated by: Flea
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Iconic bassist and co-founder of the immortal Red Hot Chili Peppers finally tells his fascinating life story, complete with all the dizzying highs and the gutter lows you'd expect from an LA street rat turned world-famous rock star.
-
-
Flea gets it right...
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-19
By: Flea
-
The Wreckage of My Presence
- Essays
- By: Casey Wilson
- Narrated by: Casey Wilson
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Casey Wilson has a lot on her mind and she isn’t afraid to share. In this dazzling collection, each essay skillfully constructed and brimming with emotion, she shares her thoughts on the joys and vagaries of modern-day womanhood and motherhood, introduces the not-quite-typical family that made her who she is, and persuasively argues that lowbrow pop culture is the perfect lens through which to examine human nature.
-
-
Would have been 5 stars without the political commentary
- By Leslie Francis on 05-14-21
By: Casey Wilson
-
The Guncle
- By: Steven Rowley
- Narrated by: Steven Rowley
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Patrick, or Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP, for short), has always loved his niece, Maisie, and nephew, Grant. That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. But in terms of caretaking and relating to two children, no matter how adorable, Patrick is, honestly, overwhelmed. So when tragedy strikes and Maisie and Grant lose their mother and Patrick's brother has a health crisis of his own, Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian.
-
-
In two words . . . Loved it!!
- By Donna Rauch Lanford on 06-05-21
By: Steven Rowley
-
Dear Edward
- A Novel
- By: Ann Napolitano
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One summer morning, twelve-year-old Edward Adler, his beloved older brother, his parents, and 183 other passengers board a flight in Newark headed for Los Angeles. Among them are a Wall Street wunderkind, a young woman coming to terms with an unexpected pregnancy, an injured veteran returning from Afghanistan, a business tycoon, and a free-spirited woman running away from her controlling husband. Halfway across the country, the plane crashes. Edward is the sole survivor.
-
-
Stunning characterization and compelling storytelling!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-29-20
By: Ann Napolitano
-
Pageboy
- A Memoir
- By: Elliot Page
- Narrated by: Elliot Page
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
“Can I kiss you?” It was two months before the world premiere of Juno, and Elliot Page was in his first ever queer bar. The hot summer air hung heavy around him as he looked at her. And then it happened. In front of everyone. A previously unfathomable experience. Here he was on the precipice of discovering himself as a queer person, as a trans person. Getting closer to his desires, his dreams, himself, without the repression he’d carried for so long. But for Elliot, two steps forward had always come with one step back.
-
-
Ah, I wish this were better. I'm disappointed.
- By Jackson Theofore Keys on 06-07-23
By: Elliot Page
-
Interior Chinatown
- A Novel
- By: Charles Yu
- Narrated by: Joel de la Fuente
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Willis Wu doesn’t perceive himself as a protagonist even in his own life: He’s merely Generic Asian man. Sometimes he gets to be Background Oriental Making a Weird Face or even Disgraced Son, but he is always relegated to a prop. Yet every day he leaves his tiny room in a Chinatown SRO and enters the Golden Palace restaurant, where Black and White, a procedural cop show, is in perpetual production. He’s a bit player here, too, but he dreams of being Kung Fu Guy - the most respected role that anyone who looks like him can attain. At least that’s what he has been told.
-
-
Kong Fu Guy
- By JCY on 01-30-20
By: Charles Yu
-
Leaving Isn't the Hardest Thing
- Essays
- By: Lauren Hough
- Narrated by: Cate Blanchett, Lauren Hough
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As an adult, Lauren Hough has had many identities: an airman in the US Air Force, a cable guy, a bouncer at a gay club. As a child, however, she had none. Growing up as a member of the infamous cult The Children of God, Hough had her own self robbed from her. The cult took her all over the globe - to Germany, Japan, Texas, Chile - but it wasn't until she finally left for good that Lauren understood she could have a life beyond "The Family."
-
-
oh, you will listen and you will love it
- By A person on 04-15-21
By: Lauren Hough
-
We Are Not Like Them
- A Novel
- By: Christine Pride, Jo Piazza
- Narrated by: Marin Ireland, Shayna Small, Kevin R. Free, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jen and Riley have been best friends since kindergarten. As adults, they remain as close as sisters, though their lives have taken different directions. Jen married young, and after years of trying, is finally pregnant. Riley pursued her childhood dream of becoming a television journalist and is poised to become one of the first Black female anchors of the top news channel in their hometown of Philadelphia. But the deep bond they share is severely tested when Jen’s husband, a city police officer, is involved in the shooting of an unarmed Black teenager.
-
-
These Author’s UNDERSTOOD the assignment!
- By Queenwdg on 10-25-21
By: Christine Pride, and others
-
In My Own Moccasins
- A Memoir of Resilience
- By: Helen Knott
- Narrated by: Helen Knott
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Helen Knott, a highly accomplished Indigenous woman, seems to have it all. But in her memoir, she offers a different perspective. In My Own Moccasins is an unflinching account of addiction, intergenerational trauma, and the wounds brought on by sexual violence. It is also the story of sisterhood, the power of ceremony, the love of family, and the possibility of redemption.
-
-
eye opening
- By Mike Kramer on 08-06-24
By: Helen Knott
-
Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls
- A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love
- By: Nina Renata Aron
- Narrated by: Nina Renata Aron
- Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A scorching memoir of a love affair with an addict, weaving personal reckoning with psychology and history to understand the nature of addiction, codependency, and our appetite for obsessive love. "The disease he has is addiction," Nina Renata Aron writes of her boyfriend, K. "The disease I have is loving him."
-
-
when does the story begin?
- By Lisa Hartline on 06-07-20
By: Nina Renata Aron
-
From the Ashes
- My Story of Being Métis, Homeless, and Finding My Way
- By: Jesse Thistle
- Narrated by: Jesse Thistle
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this extraordinary and inspiring debut memoir, Jesse Thistle, once a high-school dropout and now a rising Indigenous scholar, chronicles his life on the streets and how he overcame trauma and addiction to discover the truth about who he is. Abandoned by his parents as a toddler, Jesse Thistle briefly found himself in the foster-care system with his two brothers, cut off from all they had known. Eventually, the children landed in the home of their paternal grandparents, whose tough-love attitudes quickly resulted in conflicts.
-
-
Immersive to Feel the Author's Pain
- By Austin on 01-17-24
By: Jesse Thistle
-
The Ugly Cry
- A Memoir
- By: Danielle Henderson
- Narrated by: Danielle Henderson
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Abandoned at 10 years old by a mother who chose her drug-addicted, abusive boyfriend, Danielle was raised by grandparents who thought their child-rearing days had ended in the 1960s. She grew up Black, weird, and overwhelmingly uncool in a mostly white neighborhood in upstate New York, which created its own identity crises.
-
-
Both Funny & Heart Wrenching in the Perfect Ratio.
- By Lauren Fisher on 06-30-21
-
Dinosaurs
- By: Lydia Millet
- Narrated by: Paul Heitsch
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lydia Millet's exquisite new novel tells the story of an Arizona man’s relationship with the family next door, whose house has one wall made entirely out of glass. The story delivers attraction and love, friendship and grief. But Millet also evokes the uncanny. Through close observation of human and animal life in the desert, she captures the daunting scale of human society without losing sight of the real difference one person can make in the world. Written with humor and benevolence, Dinosaurs asks big questions: Can a person be good? Can a man be good?
-
-
I don't get it!
- By Joan on 11-11-22
By: Lydia Millet
-
The Big Door Prize
- By: M. O. Walsh
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What would you do if you knew your life's potential? That's the question facing the residents of Deerfield, Louisiana, when the DNAMIX machine appears in their local grocery store. It's nothing to look at, really—it resembles a plain photo booth. But its promise is amazing: With just a quick swab of your cheek and two dollars, the device claims to use the science of DNA to tell you your life's potential. With enough credibility to make the townspeople curious, soon the former teachers, nurses, and shopkeepers of Deerfield are abruptly changing course to pursue their destinies.
-
-
Such a let down
- By Anonymous User on 07-06-22
By: M. O. Walsh
-
A Beginner's Guide to Free Fall
- By: Andy Abramowitz
- Narrated by: Andy Abramowitz
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Davis Winger has it all. A respected engineer who designs roller coasters in theme parks across the country, he is deeply in love with his wife and has a beautiful young daughter and a happy home. Until an accident strikes on one of his rides. Nothing fatal - except to his career. And to his marriage, when a betrayal from his past inadvertently comes to light. In one cosmically bad day, Davis loses it all.
-
-
"I like roller coasters ..."
- By Stephen on 01-17-20
By: Andy Abramowitz
Listener received this title free
I absolutely found myself re-listening to several parts because I was laughing too much at the trials and tribulations of our dear Mr. Couch and didn’t want to end up missing something. But I will warn you, this ain’t just a goofball book, for it also contains extremely genuine and brutally honest stories and some of the chapters will be playing tug o war at your heart strings!
So step right up ladies and genteel men and you may count yourself lucky enough to hear a rare snippet of the inner workings of a man whom most water fowl would refer to as “quack?”
Then let your ears steal a peek into the mind of one of America’s tallest drinks of water… If you dare!!
If you’ve made it this far and are still not convinced, just let me ask you a simple question… What are you waiting for, dummy? Listen now!
Full disclosure I’ve know Andrew for many years. I feel so lucky to call him a friend. I bought a hard copy of his book the minute I heard about it and didn’t get around to reading more than a few chapters. Life can really get in the way of most good things. I was very glad to be able to finally be able to listen to the entire audio book on one road trip and it was honestly so awesome it was like your buddy was right there telling you stories. Honestly 100/100 love this book.
Listen to this book now!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
It's for you, even if at first you don't think so.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Listener received this title free
The Moron at the End of This Book engaged me immediately. The stories of Andrew’s life are strung together with so much narrative skill, it reads like a memoir. From sweet and mortifying tales of his childhood to insightful meditations about the nature of human connectedness, this book contains multitudes. It is as hilarious as it is heartbreaking, as personal as it is universal. I used to be the Editor-in-Chief for a short story anthology series and the most effective tool I developed for judging the quality of a story was how memorable it is. Andrew’s stories are so vivid, I feel like I was there. I cannot recommend this book enough. And if you like Audibles, do yourself a favor and let Andrew's remarkable voice share his insights on the humility and humor that make up our humanity.
Wonderful Voice, Wild Stories, So Much Wisdom!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.