The Nothing to See Here Hotel
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Narrated by:
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Steven Butler
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By:
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Steven Butler
About this listen
'Hilariously funny and inventive, and I love the extraordinary creatures and the one thirty-sixth troll protagonist...' Cressida Cowell
'A rip-roaring, swashbuckling, amazerous magical adventure. Comedy Gold.' Francesca Simon
‘This hotel gets five stars from me’ Liz Pichon
'A splundishly swashbungling tale of trolls, goblins and other bonejangling creatures. Put on your wellies and plunge into the strangest hotel you will ever encounter. This is a hotel I hope I never find! Wonderfully, disgustingly funny.' Jeremy Strong
‘What a fun hotel! Book me in immediately!’ Kaye Umansky
Welcome to The Nothing to See Here Hotel! A hotel for magical creatures, where weird is normal for Frankie Banister and his parents who run the hotel.
When a goblin messenger arrives at The Nothing to See Here Hotel, announcing the imminent arrival of the goblin prince Grogbah, Frankie and his family rush into action to get ready for their important guest. But it soon becomes obvious that the Banister family are going to have their work cut out with the demanding prince and his never-ending entourage, especially when it turns out the rude little prince is hiding a secret...
The first book in a fabulously funny series by bestselling author Steven Butler, with a host of whacky characters brought to life with illustration from the wonderful Steven Lenton!©2018 Steven Butler. All rights reserved (P)2018 Simon & Schuster, UK. All Rights Reserved.
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Story
When Molly shows up on Castle Hangnail's doorstep to fill the vacancy for a wicked witch, the castle's minions are understandably dubious. After all, she is 12 years old, barely five feet tall, and quite polite. (The minions are used to tall, demanding evil sorceresses with razor-sharp cheekbones.) But the castle desperately needs a master, or else the Board of Magic will decommission it, leaving all the minions without the home they love.
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A great romp you shouldn't leave to just the kids
- By Elisabeth Carey on 02-08-16
By: Ursula Vernon
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Goosebumps HorrorLand, Book 1
- Revenge of the Living Dummy
- By: R. L. Stine
- Narrated by: Alissa Hunnicutt
- Length: 2 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Britney Crosby thinks her cousin Ethan is pretty weird - and she happens to be right. Ethan won't stop tormenting Britney with an old ventriloquist's dummy. And the puppet has plans for Britney, too!
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This audio book brought me in to Goosebumps.
- By Olivia on 04-24-16
By: R. L. Stine
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The Peculiar
- By: Stefan Bachmann
- Narrated by: Peter Altschuler
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Don't get yourself noticed and you won't get yourself hanged. In the faery slums of Bath, Bartholomew Kettle and his sister Hettie live by these words. Bartholomew and Hettie are changelings - Peculiars - and neither faeries nor humans want anything to do with them. One day a mysterious lady in a plum-colored dress comes gliding down Old Crow Alley. Bartholomew watches her through his window. Who is she? What does she want? And when Bartholomew witnesses the lady whisking away, in a whirling ring of feathers, the boy who lives across the alley - Bartholomew forgets the rules and gets himself noticed.
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An Unexpected Adventure
- By Shannon on 05-30-13
By: Stefan Bachmann
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The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm
- By: Nancy Farmer
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Zimbabwe, 2194. General Matsika's three children sneak out of the house on a forbidden adventure and disappear. Immediately,the general calls Africa's most unusual detectives: the Ear, the Eye, and the Arm. Together these three detectives combine their superhuman powers to find the missing children. It's a dangerous mission that leads them from the seedy streets of the Cow's Guts to the swaying top of the Mile-High MacIlwaine Hotel.
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Amazing premise, decent execution
- By David Hoffman on 01-23-16
By: Nancy Farmer
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Flunked
- Booktrack Edition
- By: Jen Calonita
- Narrated by: Kristin Condon
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Gilly wouldn't call herself wicked, exactly...but when you have five little brothers and sisters and live in a run-down boot, you have to get creative to make ends meet. Gilly's a pretty good thief (if she does say so herself). Until she gets caught. Gilly's sentenced to three months at Fairy Tale Reform School where all of the teachers are former (super-scary) villains like the Big Bad Wolf, the Evil Queen, and Cinderella's Wicked Stepmother. Harsh. But when she meets fellow students Jax and Kayla, she learns there's more to this school than its heroic mission.
By: Jen Calonita
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The Kneebone Boy
- By: Ellen Potter
- Narrated by: Alex Barrett
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Life in a small town can be pretty boring when everyone avoids you like the plague. But after their father unwittingly sends them to stay with an aunt who’s away on holiday, the Hardscrabble children take off on an adventure that begins in the seedy streets of London and ends in a peculiar sea village where legend has it a monstrous creature lives who is half boy and half animal.
In this wickedly dark, unusual, and compelling novel, Ellen Potter masterfully tells the tale of one deliciously strange family and a secret that changes everything.
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Couldn't Stop Listening
- By nicole on 12-11-15
By: Ellen Potter
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The Dreadful Tale of Prosper Redding
- A Fiendish Arrangement
- By: Alexandra Bracken
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Prosper is the only unexceptional Redding in his old and storied family history - that is until he discovers the demon living inside him. Turns out Prosper's great-great-great-great-great-something grandfather made - and then broke - a contract with a malefactor, a demon who exchanges fortune for eternal servitude. And, weirdly enough, 4,000-year-old Alastor isn't exactly the forgiving type. The fiend has reawakened with one purpose - to destroy the family whose success he ensured and who then betrayed him.
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I know we aren't suppose to like demons.
- By BooksToTheTea on 09-07-17
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Disney Descendants: School of Secrets: CJ’s Treasure Chase
- The School of Secrets, Book 1
- By: Jessica Brody, Disney Press
- Narrated by: Kyla Garcia
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The School of Secrets series of chapter books continues the story of Mal and her friends, plus new Villain kids and Auradon kids introduced in the popular Wicked World short-form videos. Enjoy these all-new tales of mystery, magic, and adventure from the world of the hit movie Descendants!
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love desney stuff it was AMAZING
- By Patty on 04-23-17
By: Jessica Brody, and others
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Curiosity House: The Shrunken Head
- By: Lauren Oliver, H. C. Chester
- Narrated by: Greg Steinbruner
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Blessed with extraordinary abilities, orphans Philippa, Sam, and Thomas have grown up happily in Dumfrey's Dime Museum of Freaks, Oddities, and Wonders. But when a fourth child, Max, a knife thrower, joins the group, it sets off an unforgettable chain of events.
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Mix the Circus and a Murder Mystery
- By Crystal on 06-23-16
By: Lauren Oliver, and others
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The Darkdeep
- By: Ally Condie, Brendan Reichs
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch, Emily Bauer
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling authors Ally Condie and Brendan Reichs team up to co-author this thrilling first book in a darkly suspenseful middle grade series. Everyone in Timbers knows Still Cove is off-limits, with its creepy Beast sightings and equally terrifying legends. But when a bullying incident sends 12-year-old Nico Holland over a cliff and into Still Cove's icy waters, friends Tyler and Emma - and even Opal Walsh, who usually runs with the popular kids - rush to his rescue...and discover a mysterious island hiding in the murky, swirling mists below.
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FANTASTIC
- By Activee LIVE on 07-17-23
By: Ally Condie, and others
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Hamster Princess
- Harriet the Invincible
- By: Ursula Vernon
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Harriet Hamsterbone is not your typical princess. She may be quite stunning in the rodent realm (you'll have to trust her on this one), but she is not so great at trailing around the palace looking ethereal or sighing a lot. She finds the royal life rather...dull. One day, though, Harriet's parents tell her of the curse that a rat placed on her at birth, dooming her to prick her finger on a hamster wheel when she's 12 and fall into a deep sleep. For Harriet, this is most wonderful news: It means she's invincible until she's 12!
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One of my Favourite Stories!
- By D L on 08-21-21
By: Ursula Vernon
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The Fate's Forsaken Omnibus
- Books 1-2 and Prequel Novella
- By: Shae Ford
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 37 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Books 1, 2, and the prequel novella of the Fate's Forsaken series. The series follows the adventures of Kael: a young man who is thrust from his home in the Unforgivable Mountains and onto a hero's path. The journey is long, the battles are fierce - nearly all of his companions are outlaws. And Kael's rotten bad luck seems to make everything worse. This is his story.
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Fantasy with light romance
- By Skipper on 09-23-15
By: Shae Ford
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Seven Wonders Journals
- The Select and The Orphan
- By: Peter Lerangis
- Narrated by: Gavin Stenhouse, Ariana Delawari
- Length: 3 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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The Seven Wonders adventures continue in this bind-up of The Select and The Orphan. The Select tells the story of thirteen-year-old Burt Wenders, the first documented carrier of the G7W gene, and his fated voyage to the island that would eventually come to house the Karai Institute. In The Orphan, learn the story of Daria, orphaned at a young age and enslaved by the Babylonians, and her valiant battle to escape the only city she's ever called home. These titles are together for the first time ever.
By: Peter Lerangis