The Very First Damned Thing
An Author-Read Audio Exclusive
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Narrated by:
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Jodi Taylor
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By:
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Jodi Taylor
About this listen
Audible is delighted to bring you an exclusive, author-read production of The Very First Damned Thing. Hear it here first, months ahead of the EBook publication.
Jodi Taylor reads the long-awaited prequel in her Chronicles of St Mary’s series, as Dr Bairstow struggles to set up St Mary’s as we know it in a world still scarred by the ravages of civil war.
Ever wondered how it all began? It’s two years since the final victory at the Battersea Barricades. The fighting might be finished, but for Dr Bairstow, just now setting up St Mary's, the struggle is only beginning.
How will he assemble his team? From where will his funding come? How can he overcome the massed ranks of the Society for the Protection of Historical Buildings? How do stolen furniture, a practical demonstration at the Stirrup Charge at Waterloo, students’ alcohol-ridden urine, a widowed urban guerrilla, a young man wearing exciting knitwear and four naked security guards all combine to become the St Mary’s of the future?
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Sasha, a young computer programmer from Leningrad, is driving north to meet some friends for a nature vacation. He picks up a couple of hitchhikers who persuade him to take a job at the National Institute for the Technology of Witchcraft and Thaumaturgy. The adventures Sasha has in the largely dysfunctional institute involve all sorts of magical beings - a wish-granting fish, a tree mermaid, a cat who can remember only the beginnings of stories, a dream-interpreting sofa, and many more.
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Maybe I should have read this one.
- By M. Gage on 08-08-18
By: Arkady Strugatsky, and others
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The 13th Witch
- The King's Watch, Book 1
- By: Mark Hayden
- Narrated by: Ciaran Saward
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Conrad Clarke, former RAF pilot and alleged gangster, gets a text – and a visit – from The Allfather. Odin has a challenge for Conrad: Sign up to protect England from wild magick and get a commission in the King’s Watch. All he has to do is find a missing witch. Simple. Conrad never could resist a challenge. Before you can say “Ragnarok”, he’s plunged into a world of gods, mages, witches, dwarves, and one very aggressive giant mole.
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A great story becomes even better
- By Pine wind on 11-09-20
By: Mark Hayden
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Between Two Thorns
- The Split Worlds Series, Book 1
- By: Emma Newman
- Narrated by: Emma Newman
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
The new season is starting and the Master of Ceremonies is missing. Max, an Arbiter of the Split Worlds Treaty, is assigned with the task of finding him - with no one to help but a dislocated soul and a mad sorcerer. There is a witness, but his memories have been bound by magical chains only the enemy can break. A rebellious woman trying to escape her family may prove to be the ally Max needs. But can she be trusted? And why does she want to give up eternal youth and the life of privilege she’s been born into?
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I hate writing Bad reviews but.....
- By Joseph Reeves on 04-26-17
By: Emma Newman
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A House of Ghosts
- By: W. C. Ryan
- Narrated by: Esther Wane
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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When guests arrive at a séance to contact a man's lost sons, it becomes clear that everyone has dark secrets - secrets that result in the death of a guest.
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Hits all my favorite plots
- By denise:) on 02-17-22
By: W. C. Ryan
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Interstellar Caveman
- Interstellar Caveman, Book 1
- By: Karl Beecher
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.
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Hairy knees won't stop Colin!
- By Willis Burns on 11-19-19
By: Karl Beecher
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Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
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Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
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This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
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The Good Liar
- A Novel
- By: Nicholas Searle
- Narrated by: Matthew Brenher
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Veteran con artist Roy spots an obvious easy mark when he meets Betty, a wealthy widow, online. In no time at all, he's moved into Betty's lovely cottage and is preparing to accompany her on a romantic trip to Europe. Betty's grandson disapproves of their blossoming relationship, but Roy is sure this scheme will be a success. He knows what he's doing. As this remarkable feat of storytelling weaves together Roy's and Betty's futures, it also unwinds their pasts.
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Hope the movie is better than the book?
- By S. Smith on 10-17-19
By: Nicholas Searle
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First present I opened this Christmas morning!
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Fun listen, loved the st Mary’s overlap.
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Brixton ruined this for me.
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Lydia has always known she has no power, especially next to her infamous and more-than-slightly dodgy family. Which is why she carved her own life as a private investigator far away from London. When a professional snafu forces her home, the head of the family calls in a favour, and Lydia finds herself investigating the disappearance of her cousin, Maddie.
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When Kate Pierce-Keller’s grandmother gives her a strange blue medallion and speaks of time travel, sixteen-year-old Kate assumes the old woman is delusional. But it all becomes horrifyingly real when a murder in the past destroys the foundation of Kate’s present-day life. Suddenly, that medallion is the only thing protecting Kate from blinking out of existence. Kate learns that the 1893 killing is part of something much more sinister, and her genetic ability to time travel makes Kate the only one who can fix the future.
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Completely Enjoyed It
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The Quantum Curators and the Fabergé Egg
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When Neith Salah—a quantum curator charged with traveling to our parallel Earth to rescue precious artefacts—is ordered to save a priceless Faberge Egg, she figures it's just another job. The only problem: she's not sure what the egg looks like. Or where it is. Or when it is.
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Strange abrupt phony posh narration
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Kin Stewart is an everyday family man: working in IT, trying to keep the spark in his marriage, struggling to connect with his teenage daughter, Miranda. But his current life is a far cry from his previous career...as a time-traveling secret agent from 2142. Stranded in suburban San Francisco since the 1990s after a botched mission, Kin has kept his past hidden from everyone around him, despite the increasing blackouts and memory loss affecting his time-traveler’s brain. Until one afternoon, his “rescue” team arrives - 18 years too late.
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Not well narrated and not well written.
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What listeners say about The Very First Damned Thing
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Karissa Eckert
- 05-16-19
Not a great way to start this series...
I think this is a prequel that would have had more impact if I had read it after the first few books in the series. I picked this up for free on Audible and, while it was well-written, I was mostly confused by what was happening.
I listened to this on audiobook and the author reads it. Taylor did a good job reading it and I would recommend if you enjoy audiobooks.
This book follows a character named Dr Bairstow as he gathers funding and people for his time-traveling historical society that is being house in St. Mary's.
A lot of characters are introduced rapidly. The book is broken into very short vignettes that show how each of these characters comes to join Dr. Bairstow's group. Unfortunately, I haven't read any other books in the series and don't have any reference for all these characters, so this didn't have a lot of impact for me and was mostly just confusing.
Overall this was okay but a bit hard to follow and choppy for me. I might have to come back and reread this after I read some of the series itself. I guess I would recommend this to fans of the series who want some more background. However, it doesn’t seem to be a good starting point if you are just starting to read the series.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Robin
- 06-09-17
I love this series!
I've read all the books in this series on Kindle, and will now listen to them on audible. This "time travel" series is smart, funny and engaging. And, I was shocked to find out after listening to this prequel, so ably read, that the author is narrating this one. Usually, that is the death knell for any audible selection. What a talented author. Even if this is not your genre (it wasn't mine), give the series a try (book one is "Just One Damned Thing After Another").
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kathy Chemacki
- 05-12-19
Zzzzzzz
Narrator speaks well but doesn’t vary her voices. Book is a snooze fest, maybe good for those looking for something slow?
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jeanne Constantine
- 05-05-21
Beginner
I think I might have liked it more if I had read the books in the series because it felt like it was covering things that I should know something about.
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- Jenniferk
- 12-08-15
Great intro to the series
If you could sum up The Very First Damned Thing in three words, what would they be?
Time travel politics
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Very First Damned Thing?
Newcomers wonder at traveling at the first
What about Jodi Taylor’s performance did you like?
Pronunciation and crisp tones
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Maybe a smile or two
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- MSEreads
- 01-24-16
Quick Fun Listen - Introduces the Series Nicely!
This is the prequel to the Chronicles of St Mary’s series. It is a quick introduction to the primary characters and how the time traveling troupe of St Mary’s began. Dr. Bairstow, the founder and head of the Institute of Historical Research, first has to convince his benefactors to provide the funding… such as it is. Perhaps giving them a demonstration in time travel observation is the best method to win them over? Next Dr. Bairstow has to recruit his staff, from security to cook to crazy scientists.
Once he is awarded the old campus of St Mary’s to house the organization, he has to manage to work around the Society for the Protection of Historical Buildings so that he can remodel the buildings for labs and travel base with all the necessary security and precautions. Since funds are scarce, the staff find an interesting source for furniture to help make the place a home.
I enjoyed the humor especially as Bairstow found just the right team and brought them together one by one. If you have read (or listened) to any of the series, you will get to find out how the Institute came to exist and how the staff came to join St Mary’s. If you have not yet experienced the fun of meeting the characters then this is a quick, enjoyable way to do it. I also enjoyed the bit of history that comes along with the story.
I recommend this as a quick, fun way to get a feel for the series. It is lovely that this is a free audiobook.
Audio Notes: I enjoyed the audio presentation by the author, Jodi Taylor. Her voice suited the tale and it was interesting to get her personal inflection on the characters as they were rounded together. Although I imagine the reading would be good too, I was glad to get to listen to this short beginning.
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- Maria
- 01-01-18
Leaves you wanting more...
I haven’t listened to any of the Chronicles of St. Mary adventures yet. I consider myself lucky this short introduction is available, so I could listen and know the background before diving into the series. I have already purchased the first book in the series. As there are more than 8 books I decided it might be more frugal to buy the books that are $11, and use credits for the books that are more money.
I am a huge fan of time travel and historical fiction (Outlander series; A Time Traveler’s Wife; Narnia) and historical fiction (anything by Ken Follett). This introduction sets a promising foundation for an intriguing series. I also love the British accents! I plan to begin book 1 right away.
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- Rollroll
- 01-13-21
Mixed feelings
Maybe the following books picks up speed but I never quite stuck with the story. It had some good stuff but it didnt quite have anything to hit me with in the end. It just stopped and the book was over.
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- Paul
- 03-17-20
One of the FEW author read books that I enjoyed.
IMHO, not my usual genre but a great start to a for me new series.
The next book, already purchased and downloaded, is creating apprehension due to a different narrator; We shall see. Off we go as the adventure continues. :-)
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- Terry L Smith
- 05-24-20
Dreadfully Dull
It was only two and a half hours. Even that seemed too long. I had ordered the next two volumes in the series and sent them back. This was not the winner I had hoped it would be.
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