The Way We Never Were Audiobook By Stephanie Coontz cover art

The Way We Never Were

American Families and the Nostalgia Trap

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The Way We Never Were

By: Stephanie Coontz
Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
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The definitive edition of the classic, myth-shattering history of the American family

Leave It to Beaver was not a documentary, a man's home has never been his castle, the "male breadwinner marriage" is the least traditional family in history, and rape and sexual assault were far higher in the 1970s than they are today. In The Way We Never Were, acclaimed historian Stephanie Coontz examines two centuries of the American family, sweeping away misconceptions about the past that cloud current debates about domestic life. The 1950s do not present a workable model of how to conduct our personal lives today, Coontz argues, and neither does any other era from our cultural past. This revised edition includes a new introduction and epilogue, exploring how the clash between growing gender equality and rising economic inequality is reshaping family life, marriage, and male-female relationships in our modern era.

More relevant than ever, The Way We Never Were is a potent corrective to dangerous nostalgia for an American tradition that never really existed.

©1992, 2016 Stephanie Coontz (P)2019 Hachette Audio Americas Sociology United States Discrimination Marriage Capitalism Socialism Taxation Equality Social justice Economic disparity Economic Inequality Liberalism

Critic reviews

"[Coontz] approaches the subject of what we now insist up on calling 'family values' with what is, in the current atmosphere, a refreshing lack of partisan cant."—Jonathan Yardley, Washington Post Book World

"Historically rich, and loaded with anecdotal evidence, The Way We Never Were effectively demolishes the normal, traditional nuclear family as neither normal nor traditional, and not even nuclear."—Nation

"Coontz's strength is in the way she shows that families of every era have been blamed for conditions beyond their control."—San Francisco Chronicle
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It's a good book, it does a good job of deconstructing the idea that families in the past were perfect and morally pure, contrary to what conservatives think.

However, this book has so much fluff and throws out so many statistics that it makes it feel convoluted, and any individual pieces of meaningful information are hard to remember. I think this book could have been 50-60% shorter and still made a compelling case.

Great book, but...

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There is a lot of information in this book. It took me a while to finish the audio. I would've like more information on the intersection of race to be included throughout the book otherwise I enjoyed it.

Interesting and Informative

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This was so thoroughly researched and written. Of course, there are those that would discard it regardless, however, some always will, even in the face of well reserached and written facts.

It had a good value production to it too. The narrator was excellent with the pacing and general telling of the book.

If you’re considering this, I think you should go for it; it’s a worthwhile read.

That tracks

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A lot more recitation of statistics than expected. That would have been good if I were studying the subject but was very tedious to listen to. Also impossible to assess the quality of the many, many studies cited, so solid conclusions are not possible.

Good info but dry

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fantastic i loved every moment of it

wonderfully researched and very enlightening

narrator was fantastic as well

fantastic report on the dangers of nostalgia

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Very much worth a read - especially if you care anything about children and families and want to understand how today’s families are different from and not so different from our history.

Great book!

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