
This American Ex-Wife
How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life
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Narrated by:
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Lyz Lenz
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By:
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Lyz Lenz
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A deeply validating manifesto on the gender politics of marriage (bad) and divorce (actually pretty good!) in America today, and an argument that the former needs a reboot—from journalist and proud divorcée Lyz Lenz
“This American Ex-Wife is a bomb, a bouquet (but not a wedding bouquet), a memoir, a manifesto, and a total joy to read.”—Rebecca Solnit, author of Men Explain Things to Me
AN ELECTRIC LIT BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR
Studies show that nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women—women who are tired, fed up, exhausted, and unhappy. We’ve all seen how the media portrays divorcées: sad, lonely, drowning their sorrows in a bottle of wine. Lyz Lenz is one such woman whose life fell apart after she reached a breaking point in her twelve-year marriage. But she refused to take part in that tired narrative and decided to flip the script on divorce.
In this exuberant and unapologetic book, Lenz makes an argument for the advantages of getting divorced, framing it as a practical and effective solution for women to take back the power they are owed. Weaving reportage with sociological research and literature with popular culture along with personal stories of coming together and breaking up, Lenz creates a kaleidoscopic and poignant portrait of American marriage today. She argues that the mechanisms of American power, justice, love, and gender equality remain deeply flawed, and that marriage, like any other cultural institution, is due for a reckoning. A raucous argument for acceptance, solidarity, and collective female refusal, This American Ex-Wife takes listeners on a riveting ride—while pointing us all toward a life that is a little more free.
©2024 Lyz Lenz (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“With This American Ex-Wife Lenz adds to her already impressive canon of cultural criticism. . . . Through a vivid mix of research, reporting, and personal anecdote, [she] reveals the power imbalances inherent to traditional heterosexual marriage, and calls for a radical act of refusal by women who have been too-long defined by their relationships to men.”—Literary Hub
“This American Ex-Wife is a bomb, a bouquet (but not a wedding bouquet), a memoir, a manifesto, and a total joy to read.” —Rebecca Solnit, author of Men Explain Things to Me
“A tour de force, instant classic memoir-meets-manifesto . . . Cishet love is a battlefield, and This American Ex-Wife is a long-awaited shield. This book will rightfully end and prevent certain types of marriages, by which I mean it will save lives.”—Alissa Nutting, author of Made for Love
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It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life. Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center."
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Humor, Humanity, and the Heart of Self-Love
- By David on 12-12-24
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
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- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
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The 6 Habits of Growth
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
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- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
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12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
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- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
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- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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This is not THAT Maggie Smith
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Sentence structure; descriptions
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Love love love
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In remote northern Canada, a team led by a visionary American architect is breaking ground on a building project called Camp Zero, intended to be the beginning of a new way of life. A clever and determined young woman code-named Rose is offered a chance to join the Blooms, a group hired to entertain the men in camp—but her real mission is to secretly monitor the mercurial architect in charge. In return, she’ll receive a home for her climate-displaced Korean immigrant mother and herself.
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Too close to zero
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With its deeply personal and seamless blend of memoir, cultural history, literary criticism, and reportage, The Recovering turns our understanding of the traditional addiction narrative on its head, demonstrating that the story of recovery can be every bit as electrifying as the train wreck itself. Leslie Jamison deftly excavates the stories we tell about addiction - both her own and others' - and examines what we want these stories to do and what happens when they fail us. All the while, she offers a fascinating look at the larger history of the recovery movement and at the complicated bearing that race and class have on our understanding of who is criminal and who is ill.
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My Own Magic
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It lacked The Magic
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On a highway in Houston, Texas, Sarah LaBrie’s mother was found screaming at passing cars, terrified she would be murdered by invisible assailants. The diagnosis of schizophrenia that followed compelled Sarah to rethink her childhood, marked at turns by violence and all-consuming closeness. Digging into the events that led to her mother’s break, Sarah traces her family history of mental illness, from the dysphoria that plagued her great-grandmother, a granddaughter of slaves, to her own experience with depression as a scholarship student at Brown.
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I loved it so much
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Heartburn
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Is it possible to write a sidesplitting novel about the breakup of the perfect marriage? If the writer is Nora Ephron, the answer is a resounding yes. For in this inspired confection of adultery, revenge, group therapy, and pot roast, the creator of Sleepless in Seattle reminds us that comedy depends on anguish as surely as a proper gravy depends on flour and butter.
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Be the Heroine , Not the Victim
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Conscious Uncoupling
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We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement—we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment. Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart.
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Hard to listen because its great
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What listeners say about This American Ex-Wife
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Performance
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- NikkiNik
- 05-06-24
Yes, this!
Lyz thank you so much for sharing your story, a story so many of us women share. Thank you for being open and honest and vulnerable. Thank you for shining a light on the blatant inequality between women and men. Thank you for taking the time to highlight all that women do that goes unseen, unappreciated, undervalued, and simply dismissed. But most of all, I thank you because I needed your story so very, very much, to be reminded that I am not alone. Truly thank you! <3
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- Debbie McNulty
- 10-15-24
Relatable Story
I loved both the content of this book and the performance. Heartbreaking, informative, and a story of resilience!
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- D.A.G.
- 02-29-24
Charming, heartbreaking, very real
Lyz Lenz is such a likable, genuine narrator and storyteller it makes an often heartbreaking tale wistful. Will likely soothe any woman navigating divorce—it’s not just you, divorce is pretty common and a lot of the reasons are the same. Thanks for writing this Lyz.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-18-24
You’re Not Alone
I loved Lyz’s inflection in her voice. It makes such a difference. It helps in knowing that I am not alone in wanting my own freedom.
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- Laurie
- 03-03-24
Someone Needed To Write This
I’m not even done yet but this book is just leaving me agog.
Her husband sounds totally incompatible with any self respecting woman. But what really gets to me is that, in so many ways, he sounds like a personality clone of MY ex-husband, who I also left after 12 years of marriage. Are there LOTS of men like that? There must be. I feel like I dodged a bullet because I never had children with my ex. Lyz makes it clear how much worse THAT would have made things.
I can totally relate to her repeated emphasis on the absence of true partnership from the man’s side and how women are usually the ones handed a load of bull of how marriage is work that you just have to stick to.
The statistics, facts and other info peppered through the book make this an incredibly informative and eye opening read.
Every divorced woman needs to read this. I often lapse into self pity that I don’t have a man. This book reminded me that I am FREE of a bad situation and that I should be very cautious about any future decisions. More importantly, every woman thinking about marriage and children needs to read this. There is a lot of truth here. Every word of it.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-05-24
Thought provoking
As someone in a troubled marriage she nails it with the inequality of being married - her comments on government and social mores were thought provoking. Society needs to have men step up and be more accountable in marriage - emotionally, physically and mentally - men only bringing home a paycheck isn’t enough and the standards of “well you’re not being physically abused so it’s fine” need to stop - this book expresses that very well.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kimmerg
- 05-28-24
So real
Everything was so true, I felt like she was reading it from my soul!
I have gained a lot of personal clarity from listening to this book.
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- Gia Colosi
- 05-19-24
Must read
I wish my mother could have handed me this book. Reading this at an early age would have been helpful and insightful.
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- Margaret R George
- 03-17-24
Fresh, authentic, utterly relatable
As a fellow millennial, ex-vagelical, married mother of 3 young kids, I related to every moment of this book! I’m also a therapist and have recommended this book to every woman in my practice who is struggling in their marriage and contemplating divorce. THANK YOU LIZ for putting your heart out there, digging in social science research, and sharing with us all. I love at the beginning you make it clear you’re pro-divorce, haha! But at the very least you hope women ask for MORE in their partnerships. This book has been valuable to me personally and sparking LOTS of conversations with my male spouse which has made our relationship better than ever.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Katrina
- 02-27-24
Fantastic, brilliant, must-listen
I don't remember the last time I found myself saying things out loud to a book this often. Listening to it feels like having a conversation with your smart, insightful friend who leaves you both laughing and chewing on some hard-fought wisdom that sticks in your brain indefinitely. There are no easy answers here (real life) but so many of the right questions and plenty of joy. Keep writing, Lyz, the world needs your words!
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