Weird, Crude, Funny, and Nude
The Bible Exposed
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Narrated by:
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Tom French
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By:
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Tom French
About this listen
Ultimate fighting bears, a fat king who poops himself, zombies, donkey “bits”, and a fart. These are not the things you’d expect to find in the Bible, but they’re all there. If you thought the Bible was dull, think again. This is your chance to discover all the parts of the Bible they don’t teach you in Sunday school - but probably should.
Weird, Crude, Funny, and Nude is a hilarious, Christ-centred, and somewhat inappropriate look at some of the least known and discussed parts of the Bible for those of us who think nudity, poop, and farts are funny.
Here's a preview of the chapters in this audiobook:
- Angel Lovin' – Genesis 6:1-4
- Drunk Noah’s Post-Cruise Party - Genesis 9:18-21
- Balaam’s Talking Ass – Numbers 22:21-41
- The Problem of Ball Grabbing - Deuteronomy 25:11-12
- The Fat, the Poo, and the Left-Handed Man - Judges 3:12-30
- David and the Foreskins - 1 Samuel 18:20-30
- Elisha and the Ultimate Fighting Bears - 2 Kings 2:23-25
- The Only Fart in the Bible - Isaiah 26:16-19
- Ezekiel the Poo Chef - Ezekiel 4:1-17
- Ezekiel’s Porn - Ezekiel 23:19-21
- Matthew’s Zombies - Matthew 27:51-53
- Mark’s Nudie Run - Mark 14:48-52
- The Teleporter and the Eunuch – Acts 8:26-40
- Paul’s Killer Preaching - Acts 20:7-12
- Paul’s Cutting Comments - Galatians 5:12
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Story
For decades, Kathie Lee has had deep conversations about her faith with anyone who is interested in talking about it. What she discovered early on is most people are very willing to talk about Jesus: atheists, agnostics, Scientologists, Jews, broken-hearted Catholics, confused Baptists, Pentecostals, Sikhs, Buddhists, and Hindus alike. While some of the people Kathie Lee has spoken with do not share her belief that Jesus is the Messiah - as prophesied for centuries by prophets in the Hebrew scriptures - they nonetheless have a universal fascination with him.
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Not Jesus
- By James on 12-03-21
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On This Holy Night
- The Heart of Christmas
- By: Max Lucado, Rick Warren, David Jeremiah, and others
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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You’ve heard the Christmas story time and again. Perhaps it seems there’s nothing new to discover. Take another look, a closer gaze, at the details that reveal God’s love in the gift of a baby who would forever change the world. Six beloved Christian authors - Max Lucado, John Maxwell, Jack Hayford, Bill Hybels, David Jeremiah, and Rick Warren - share from a unique perspective and help you hear afresh the message God wants to whisper to your heart during this holiday. God loves you. God is with you. God is in every detail of your life.
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Concise messages of the plain & simple TRUTH
- By Lewis Neves on 12-19-17
By: Max Lucado, and others
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Heaven for Kids
- By: Randy Alcorn
- Narrated by: Randy Alcorn
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Intended for kids age eight to 12, Heaven for Kids is sure to be an excellent resource for families,especially those in which the parents have read the adult title and wish to pass on that same level of understanding to their children. The book features 10 chapters of questions and answers based on scripture and written in a style relevant to today's kids. The book also has a summary of the Gospel for those who want to be sure they are going to Heaven someday.
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So Good! Summer Kids' Camp Benefitted, too!
- By Rhonda Bolling on 08-24-16
By: Randy Alcorn
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Follow Me
- A Call to Die. A Call to Live.
- By: David Platt
- Narrated by: David Platt
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In this new audiobook, David Platt, author of the New York Times best-selling book Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, contends that multitudes of people around the world culturally think they are Christians yet biblically are not followers of Christ.
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Needed this!
- By Curan on 12-09-15
By: David Platt
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Eternity Is Now in Session
- A Radical Rediscovery of What Jesus Really Taught About Salvation, Eternity, and Getting to the Good Place
- By: John Ortberg
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author John Ortberg dispels the myth that eternal life is something way out in outer space that we can only hope to experience after we die - and that being saved is merely about meeting the minimal entrance requirements for getting into heaven. Instead, John unpacks the reality that the moment we trust Christ, we are initiated into “eternal living” with God as a here and now reality, one that will continue beyond our life on this earth.
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Speaker
- By Karla J Altman on 06-14-20
By: John Ortberg
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Come and See
- Everything You Ever Wanted in the One Place You Would Never Look
- By: Todd Wagner, John Driver
- Narrated by: Todd Wagner
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Pastor Todd Wagner invites listeners to experience the adventure, beauty, and fullness of life through the church as God intended. Obligated weekly services of mostly bored adults are not God's vision for His people. Todd illuminates a path for listeners to personally pursue a deeper relationship with God and then purposefully invest in God's design for His church. This book paints the picture of the Father's intention to bring His people into an adventurous life full of authentic relationships, powerful transformation, significance, and meaning.
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God is good!
- By Boyd Pelley on 11-22-17
By: Todd Wagner, and others
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Overwhelmed
- Winning the War Against Worry
- By: Perry Noble
- Narrated by: Lee McDerment
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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>Stressed out? Anxious? Overwhelmed? There’s good news - you’re not alone! No one ever said life was going to be easy. Between financial struggles, marital issues, health scares, and the run-of-the-mill problems of everyday life, it’s easy to feel weighed down and trapped by your circumstances. In times like these, it’s tempting to just throw in the towel and quit. Well, don’t do it! Perry Noble has stood at the edge of the abyss himself, and in Overwhelmed, he shares the keys to unlocking the chains of anxiety and despair once and for all.
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Too god heavy
- By Mark on 06-14-21
By: Perry Noble
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Unleash!
- Breaking Free from Normalcy
- By: Perry Noble
- Narrated by: Brandon Batchelar
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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When you're ready for something truly extraordinary, consider living life unleashed! Jesus promised us a full and abundant life. But if we’re honest, most of us feel as if we’re missing out. Every one of us - that includes you - has been custom designed with a purpose and a plan beyond imagination. Yet for some reason, we fill our days with normalcy, complacency, and predictability. In Unleash!, Perry Noble challenges us to grab on to God’s promise of full and complete living.
By: Perry Noble
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What If...God Has Other Plans?
- Finding Hope When Life Throws You the Unexpected
- By: Charles R. Swindoll
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular Bible teacher Chuck Swindoll invites you on a journey through Scripture, exploring the hope the Bible offers to those who are dealing with life’s unexpected detours. Life can be humming along as usual, and then in a matter of seconds, everything falls apart. Maybe you have experienced sudden loss. Perhaps there is a heart-breaking betrayal. Maybe you are taking care of a family member with a disability and you never imagined in a million years that you would be doing such a thing.
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A connection of scriptures and his sermons
- By Lilian on 09-07-20
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You Can Trust God to Write Your Story
- Embracing the Mysteries of Providence
- By: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Robert D. Wolgemuth
- Narrated by: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Robert D. Wolgemuth
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In their first book together, best-selling authors Robert and Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth share biblical and modern-day stories of God’s providence at work, including their own story of finding love and marrying - the first time for Nancy at age 57 and the second time for Robert, a widower. Each story will inspire you as you watch God redeem impossible situations in the unlikeliest ways. Learn to see His hand in your life, and you'll never be the same.
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A Wonderful, Scripturally Founded, Encouragement!
- By Jennifer Harvey on 10-07-19
By: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, and others
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God Without Religion
- Can It Really Be This Simple?
- By: Andrew Farley
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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God without religion? Andrew Farley’s experience as a Christian was first characterized by self-effort as he tried to please God at any cost. His ruthless religion resulted in spiritual fatigue and disillusionment with church. Only then did he discover what relaxing in Jesus means and how enjoying God’s intimate presence can transform everyday life. Using a story-driven format, God without Religion dismantles common religious misconceptions. Pulling no punches, Andrew shows how the truth about these controversial issues can liberate and unify believers....
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worth a listen
- By Aaron on 06-04-15
By: Andrew Farley
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What Every Christian Needs to Know
- By: Greg Laurie
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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You wouldn’t climb a mountain or sail the Pacific without first checking out your equipment. Why? Because your very life will depend on how prepared you are to face the obstacles and challenges before you. It’s the same with launching into the great adventure called the Christian life.
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Must read!
- By Jim on 04-18-15
By: Greg Laurie