You Better Not Cry
Stories for Christmas
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Narrated by:
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Augusten Burroughs
About this listen
Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present - as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.
©2009 Island Road, LLC. (P)2009 Macmillan Audio.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Louis Holland arrives in Boston in a spring of ecological upheaval (a rash of earthquakes on the North Shore) and odd luck: the first one kills his grandmother. Louis tries to maintain his independence, but falls in love with a Harvard seismologist whose discoveries about the earthquakes' cause complicate everything.
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Compelling Story, Ridiculous Narrator
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The Portable Veblen
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An exuberant, one-of-a-kind novel about love and family, war and nature, new money and old values by a brilliant New Yorker contributor. The Portable Veblen is a dazzlingly original novel that's as big-hearted as it is laugh-out-loud funny. Set in and around Palo Alto amid the culture clash of new money and old (antiestablishment) values, and with the specter of our current wars looming across its words, The Portable Veblen is an unforgettable look at the way we live now.
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Not what it was cracked up to be
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God-Shaped Hole
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
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Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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Dreadful audio quality
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Lit
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Lit follows Mary Karr's descent into the inferno of alcoholism and madness - and her astonishing resurrection. Karr's longing for a solid family seems secure when her marriage to a handsome, Shakespeare-quoting poet produces a son they adore. But she can't outrun her apocalyptic past. She drinks herself into the same numbness that nearly devoured her charismatic but troubled mother, reaching the brink of suicide. A hair-raising stint in "The Mental Marriott" awakens her to the possibility of joy, and leads her to an unlikely faith.
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Finally! One for the "Win" column
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Wonder Boys
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A wildly successful first novel made Grady Tripp a young star, and seven years later he still hasn't grown up. He's now a writing professor in Pittsburgh, plummeting through middle age, stuck with an unfinishable manuscript, an estranged wife, a pregnant girlfriend, and a talented but deeply disturbed student named James Leer.
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A strong, early Chabon (sounds like grading wine)
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Marlena
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Everything about 15-year-old Cat's new town in rural Michigan is lonely and off-kilter until she meets her neighbor, the manic, beautiful, pill-popping Marlena. Cat, inexperienced and desperate for connection, is quickly lured into Marlena's orbit by little more than an arched eyebrow and a shake of white-blond hair. As the two girls turn the untamed landscape of their desolate small town into a kind of playground, Cat catalogues a litany of firsts - first drink, first cigarette, first kiss - while Marlena's habits harden and calcify.
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A Brilliant, Agonizing Portrait of a Young Woman
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The underground mine fires ravaging Pennsylvania coal country have forced 11-year-old Brigid Howley and her family to seek refuge with her estranged grandparents, the formidable Gram and the black lung-stricken Gramp. Tragedy is no stranger to the Howleys, a proud Irish-American clan who takes strange pleasure in the "curse" laid upon them generations earlier by a priest who ran afoul of the Molly Maguires. The weight of this legacy rests heavily on a new generation, when Brigid, already struggling to keep her family together, makes a grisly discovery in a long-abandoned bootleg mine shaft.
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Disfunction makes a good read
- By NHull on 05-30-14
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At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. When Augusten is forced to examine himself, he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life - and live it sober. Dry is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power
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What listeners say about You Better Not Cry
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Rhonda Christofferson
- 12-14-17
Fab book for soft-hearted smart asses.
He captures poignant Christmas moments of true love & beauty and the way they find their way to our hearts.
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- Rebecca Hancock
- 12-09-21
Laugh-out-loud funny, tragic, awkward ❤️
So many people have been hating on Augusten’s reading pace, I thought the poor guy deserves a positive vote. YES, please realize the narration may not be for you. Listen to a sample. However, differing from many others who found it awful, I absolutely found that his cadence complimented the story and enhanced its humor. I listened to the book on multiple nights going to sleep as we approach Christmas; I loved it. I hope you’ll give Augusten’s stylistic choices a chance!
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- HorrorHoneyBeeMia
- 01-19-23
Merry and Bright
I love this author so I’m very much the target audience. This is crass and shocking and disturbing and funny and heartwarming all at once, in all the best ways.
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- Victoria Lucas
- 02-19-15
fantastic, as usual
I want to listen to sellevision, but it's the only book the author doesn't read himself. I love the authors voice.
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- Lilly
- 11-25-21
Always a wild read
I have always loved his books. Took me a moment to enjoy how it was read.
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Overall
- jenn
- 11-20-09
For his fans...
I admit I laughed out loud many times in the car while listening to this book. If you are a fan of Augusten Burroughs (as I am), you will enjoy these stories (and you will be prepared for the total insanity that is his childhood.) The downfall is his narration. It seemed as though he was trying something new ,and I'm not sure it worked. Burroughs last book "A Wolf at the Table" was markedly different in style and voice than his previous books. He carries a bit of that into this book as well. His reading can feel stilted and disjointed. Long spaces where you don't expect them. It's much more enjoyable when he begins "telling the story" as opposed to picking the words out one by one as if he's not sure what he wants to say. All in all,though, this is a funny book and a nice addition to my library.
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12 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Becky
- 02-03-10
I don't know what to say here
To begin with, I adore anything Augusten writes. I have also thoroughly enjoyed his previous works with him telling the story as only he can. However....I have to say I'm confused over this last reading of his and have to wonder if he read so slowly to make the audible version longer. What else can it be? And this is why I have to give 3 stars vice 5. Augusten, if you read our reviews, please consider changing your style for your next book. Your work is too precious and unique to be messed up with the dead slow, often frozenly disjointed way you read this last one. On the other hand, the stories in this book were priceless, especially the one with George. Yes, I cried. I also cried with Shirley and the lost treasure of her singing. This book touched me. Thank you for sharing these memories with us. I look forward to the next book, so get to work :)
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2 people found this helpful
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- Matthew
- 12-27-11
Super fun for the holidays.
Where does You Better Not Cry rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
Absolutely Augusten Burroughs. Often awkward, painful and then hilarious. I have been reading him for ten years and I love this one. Not as serious as Not as serious as
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Suzan
- 07-15-11
Funny, As Usual
The listeners who loathe Augusten's narration fail to realize that his delivery is part of what makes the stories so humorous. Only a narrator who's lived this life of dysfunction can tell it in a way the listener can truly appreciate and laugh at, especially because he's still here to tell the tales and has made a very good life for himself. Can't wait for his next book, and hope it's longer.
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- Joshua D Kahn
- 06-01-21
Why does he read this so damn slow!
Such a funny book but this audio version sucks. He reads it slow like he’s reading to a child and the humor does not come through at all.
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