You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
Shocking but Utterly True Facts
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Narrated by:
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Johnny Heller
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By:
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Cracked.com
About this listen
You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in: A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain. The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt. Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you. The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this audiobook? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
©2011 Cracked.com (P)2014 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Jeanne Marie Laskas first met the young forensic pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu in 2009, while reporting a story for GQ that would go on to inspire the movie Concussion. Omalu told her about a day in September 2002, when, in a dingy morgue in downtown Pittsburgh, he picked up a scalpel and made a discovery that would rattle America in ways he’d never intended. Omalu was new to America, chasing the dream, a deeply spiritual man escaping the wounds of civil war in Nigeria.
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If you know, come forth and speak.
- By Cynthia on 12-14-15
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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The Great Gasbag
- An A-Z Study Guide to Surviving Trump World
- By: Joy Behar
- Narrated by: Joy Behar
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Put down the knife, lock away the gun, lay aside the noose - Joy Behar is here to save you from suicide as she hot walks you through the next four years (two if we are lucky, less if liberal dreams come true). Besides despair, the sane response to the insanity in the White House is laughter. On her hit ABC daytime show The View, Joy has been blunt in her condemnation of the comb over-in-chief, and her words have electrified and inspired millions in the resistance for whom #notmypresident has become a rallying cry.
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Funny and Smart !
- By MM on 10-29-17
By: Joy Behar
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Tomorrowland
- Our Journey From Science Fiction to Science Fact
- By: Steven Kotler
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times, Wired, Atlantic Monthly, Discover bestselling author Steven Kotler has written extensively about those pivotal moments when science fiction became science fact...and fundamentally reshaped the world. Now he gathers the best of his best, updated and expanded upon, to guide listeners on a mind-bending tour of the far frontier, and how these advances are radically transforming our lives.
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Covers a lot of different topics in many industries
- By ErnieA on 06-27-15
By: Steven Kotler
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The Goliath Stone
- By: Larry Niven, Matthew Joseph Harrington
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Doctor Toby Glyer has effected miracle cures with the use of nanotechnology. But Glyer’s controversial nanites are more than just the latest technological advance, they are a new form of life - and they have more uses than just medical. Glyer’s nanites also have the potential to make everyone on Earth rich from the wealth of asteroids.
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Boring, unbelievable nano junk!
- By GH on 06-27-13
By: Larry Niven, and others
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Galapagos
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Galapagos takes the listener back one million years to AD 1986. A simple vacation cruise suddenly becomes an evolutionary journey. Thanks to an apocalypse, a small group of survivors stranded on the Galapagos Islands are about to become the progenitors of a brave, new, totally different human race. Kurt Vonnegut, America's master satirist, looks at our world and shows us all that is sadly, madly awry - and all that is worth saving.
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The survival of the human race is a total bore!
- By Darwin8u on 12-13-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Expanded Universe, Vol. 2
- By: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Robert A. Heinlein has been hailed as one of the most forward-thinking science fiction writers of all time, and Expanded Universe (presented in two volumes) offers the perfect collection of his works to provide listeners with true insights into his uniquely creative mind.
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I Nostradamus type warning for today
- By mort on 06-26-18
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Zealot
- A Book About Cults
- By: Jo Thornely
- Narrated by: Jo Thornely
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Why would anyone join a cult? Maybe they're unhappy with their current religion, or they want to change the world, or they're disappointed with their lives and want to find something bigger or holier that makes sense of this confusing, chaotic and dangerous world. Or maybe they just want to give themselves the best possible chance of having sex with aliens. Whatever the reason, once people are in, it's usually very difficult for them to leave.
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Good I'm formation.
- By sarah crandall on 03-12-19
By: Jo Thornely
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
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Ask a Historian
- 50 Surprising Answers to Things You Always Wanted to Know
- By: Greg Jenner
- Narrated by: Dan Schreiber, Greg Jenner, Janina Ramirez, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Responding to fifty genuine questions from the public, Greg Jenner takes you on an entertaining tour through history from the Stone Age to the Swinging Sixties, revealing the best and most surprising stories, facts and historical characters from the past. From ancient joke books, African empires and the invention of meringues, to mummies, mirrors and menstrual pads—Ask A Historian is a deliciously amusing and informative smorgasbord of historical curiosities.
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best bonus content ever!
- By Matthew K Wendelken on 03-24-22
By: Greg Jenner
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Maybe you know someone who swears by the reliability of psychics or who is in regular contact with angels. Or perhaps you're trying to find a nice way of dissuading someone from wasting money on a homeopathy cure. How do you find a gently persuasive way of steering people away from unfounded beliefs, bogus cures, conspiracy theories, and the like? Longtime skeptic Guy P. Harrison shows you how in this down-to-earth, entertaining exploration of commonly held extraordinary claims.
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I put together this book because; most people want to learn about things we don’t know. Even as a kid I loved to read about these things. The Book of world records has been one of my favorite reads. I will share with you many subjects to peak your interest in fun facts and useful information. We will cover The Earth. Geography History Food People Animals Plants Science Space Technology The Universe Weather Sports And a misc category for other stuff. You will be interested and you will learn as you read. As you read through the book, you will learn about many things you didn’t know. You ...
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The Origin of Names, Words and Everything in Between
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Explore the world of names: What is something that literally everything in existence has in common? It all has a name! With this audiobook, you can learn the origins of these names. From countries and cities to toys and animals to even planets, learn the etymology of interesting words in a fun and entertaining way. Learn new things: Why is New York called New York? Name Explain has the answer for you.
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Name Explain Is Fantastic!
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How To Survive a Horror Movie
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Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases. Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of zombies sweeps over the planet? Check.
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Did NASA really spend millions creating a pen that would write in space? Is chocolate poisonous to dogs? Does stress cause gray hair? These questions are a sample of the urban lore investigated in this audiobook, Fact or Fiction: Science Tackles 58 Popular Myths. Drawing from Scientific American’s “Fact or Fiction” and “Strange But True” columns, we’ve selected 58 of the most surprising, fascinating, useful, and just plain wacky topics confronted by our writers over the years.
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Fun!
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A Million Years in a Day
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Who invented beds? When did we start cleaning our teeth? How old are wine and beer? Which came first: the toilet seat or toilet paper? What was the first clock? Every day, from the moment our alarm clock wakes us in the morning until our head hits our pillow at night, we all take part in rituals that are millennia old. Structured around one ordinary day, A Million Years in a Day reveals the astonishing origins and development of the daily practices we take for granted.
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Super interesting!
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Worst Ideas Ever
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From memorable disasters such as New Coke, the XFL, and Tiger Woods’ marriage to less-remembered failures such as Yugo, Cop Rock, and Microsoft’s BOB, Worst Ideas Ever revisits history’s biggest blunders. Whether it’s a pop culture failure or a political one, Worst Ideas Ever uncovers the ridiculous stories behind mistakes so huge, you’ll have to constantly remind yourself that they actually happened.
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Wears out quickly
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Celebrity, with its neon glow and selfie pout, strikes us as hypermodern. But the famous and infamous have been thrilling, titillating, and outraging us for much longer than we might realize. Whether it was the scandalous Lord Byron, whose poetry sent female fans into an erotic frenzy; or the cheetah-owning, coffin-sleeping, one-legged French actress Sarah Bernhardt, who launched a violent feud with her former best friend; or Edmund Kean, the dazzling Shakespearean actor whose monstrous ego and terrible alcoholism saw him nearly murdered by his own audience....
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Wonderful Performance!
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What Einstein Didn't Know
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How does soap know what's dirt? How do magnets work? Why do ice cubes crackle in your glass? And how can you keep them quiet? These are questions that torment us all. Now Robert L. Wolke, professor emeritus of chemistry at the University of Pittsburgh, provides definitive - and amazingly simple - explanations for the mysteries of everyday life.
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A funny thing happened on the way to a great book
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The Flip Side of History
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In this collection of true, quirky history, Steve Silverman provides fascinating tales to astonish and entertain. Covering a wide variety of topics, these stories that have been lost to history highlight the quirks, complexities, and curious nature of our species.
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Good stories
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The Complete (Short) Guide to Absolutely Everything
- Adventures in Math and Science
- By: Adam Rutherford, Hannah Fry
- Narrated by: Hannah Fry, Adam Rutherford
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- Unabridged
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Geneticist Adam Rutherford and mathematician Hannah Fry guide listeners through time and space, through our bodies and brains, showing how emotions shape our view of reality, how our minds tell us lies, and why a mostly bald and curious ape decided to begin poking at the fabric of the universe.
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Humour and understandability.
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A Grain of Salt
- The Science and Pseudoscience of What We Eat
- By: Dr. Joe Schwarcz
- Narrated by: Jonathan Yen
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Of all the dietary and nutritional claims pitched to us, what can we believe? How does cinnamon affect your health? How splendid is Splenda? Should you buy farmed, wild, or canned food? What's fishy about fish-oil supplements? Will a diet of Twinkies and M&M's lead to weight loss? Water from a tap or from a plastic bottle - which should you choose, and which is better for the environment? Should you carry your groceries home in plastic or brown paper? We all have questions, and Dr. Joe Schwarcz has the answers, some of which will astonish you.
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Excellent! Science-baced nutritional information.
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By: Dr. Joe Schwarcz
What listeners say about You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Kathleen Smith-Bernat
- 11-08-14
Don't let the title fool you
Where does You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is right up there. Kept my interest and was entertaining
What did you like best about this story?
Learning fascinating facts about things you thought were true only to learn history is not always the way it seems.
Which scene was your favorite?
Nothing sticks out, enjoyed everything
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Yes it made me laugh
Any additional comments?
A fun book about history figures and events that are totally different from what I have heard or read. Just goes to show not everything is the way history books would have you believe.
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- Jeffery Yelton
- 02-22-16
entertaining!
worth multiple listens.
funny as well as educational. a definite recommendation to all who enjoy off the wall trivia.
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Performance
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Story
- B. Grierson
- 08-03-15
Hilarious
While mostly just a collection of already printed Cracked.com articles, it's wonderfully hilarious to listen to while on a drive. At first, I wasn't thrilled with the narrator, but he grew on me and the more I listened, the more I realized he was perfect for the position.
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- Nina Tassin
- 03-25-15
One of the best books I have ever read.
I love this type of book but there are so few. I found this book to be interesting and I never lost interest in other words I found all of the chapters interesting.
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Overall
- Randall
- 12-30-17
Asd
Very funny great book idea i do not have anything else to write why 14 words
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- Tony E.
- 02-03-16
When you need Cracked.com articles in your ear
Where does You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is pretty funny and engaging. It is articles from Cracked.com thrown into a book. I'm glad I got it as the deal of the day because while I found it funny and engaging, if I would have paid full price for it, I would have second thoughts. I usually like browsing the cracked articles but this can be a bit overwhelming if you aren't careful.
Which scene was your favorite?
The baddest, most awesome presidents of the United States was a good article.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I probably could but would not retain much after.
Any additional comments?
It's a good listen for mindless entertainment.
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- Linda
- 11-02-23
Laughed out loud!
I couldn’t stop listening to this book! I wish that I hadn’t heard it do that I could listen again! Loved it❤️
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- Trudy L. Soura
- 10-02-14
Im dying here,this needs to be twice as long !!!!
The funniest thing ive heard ! You really have to hear it.Its funnier then George Carlin !
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13 people found this helpful
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- Dale
- 01-29-16
Funny
Good to the last story. Easy listening. plus very funny. Well worth the your time.
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- rob
- 04-13-15
A terrific listen from. beginning to end!
A terrific listen that you hope will not end. I'm on a 3rd or 4th llisten.. The storyline and narration are first class throughout the book. I'm hoping for a sequel.
Get this one - you won't be sorry.
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