You Suck Audiobook By David Wood cover art

You Suck

A Dunn Kelly Mystery, Book 1

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You Suck

By: David Wood
Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer
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About this listen

Dunn Kelly hardly ever has a problem covering for his alcoholic father. As the only Special Populations detective on the police force, his dad's responsibilities usually consist of freeing zombies entangled in turnstiles, checking rabies tags on werewolves, and sweeping up vampires who oversleep while moon bathing. But when teen pop star Delilah Idaho sees a wrinkle on her forehead, his world is turned upside-down. His town is the host to a new television show- You Suck, a reality show where vampires, from sparkly to old school, compete for the privilege of biting Delilah, keeping her young and beautiful forever. But a murderer is loose on the set and it's up to Dunn to save his father's job and solve the mystery. Oh, and his teacher is hitting on him, the football coach hates his guts, and he might lose his spot on the swim team. Like the television show, Dunn's life sucks.

©2013 Gryphonwood Press (P)2013 Gryphonwood Press
Fantasy Fiction Paranormal Thrillers & Suspense Mystery Funny
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

A fun and humorous read for all ages

YOU SUCK
A Dunn Kelly Mystery- Book One

Author: David Wood

Type of Book: Audiobook - Unabridged

Narrator: Jeffrey Kafer

Length: 4 hours, 4 minutes

Genre: Young Adult Paranormal Fiction, Mystery, Humor

Release Date: April 17, 2013

Publisher: Gryphonwood Press

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars⭐⭐⭐⭐

* I received a free copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

Delilah Idaho has been in show business since the age of three. She is now seventeen and is a "Pop Princess". Delilah notices a wrinkle on her forehead just before going onstage on the last night of her musical tour.

A wrinkle at age seventeen? Well, most people would just ignore it, but to Delilah Idaho it is a HUGE problem. She is terrified of aging and of losing her looks as she ages. She wants to be able to stay young and beautiful forever. However, that is not an option. Everyone ages, right?

When Delilah throws a temper tantrum backstage, her father (and Manager) Buddy J offers her a solution.

He offers Delilah the chance to never age; to never grow old; to remain eighteen forever.

How the heck is he going to be able to pull off this seemingly impossible feat?

Well, by producing a reality show of course. What better way to accomplish her goal!

Dunn Kelly's Mom left him and his father ten months ago and his father has been dealing with it by drowning his sorrow with alcohol.

As the only Special Populations detective on the small town police force, Dunn's dad's responsibilities usually consist of freeing zombies tangled in turnstiles, checking rabies tags on werewolves, and sweeping up vampires who oversleep when moon bathing. But when Delilah Idaho and the cast and crew of her new reality show breeze into town to start filming "You Suck" Dunn's life gets even more interesting.

The reality television show features vampires, from a new, sparkly kind to the old school kind of vampire.

Each vampire is competing for the privilege of biting Delilah, thus keeping her young and beautiful forever.

But a murderer is loose on the set and it's up to Dunn to save his father's job and solve the mystery.

To complicate his life even more, his teacher is hitting on him, the football coach hates him and he might lose his spot on the swim team. Dunn's life, like the television show, sucks.

What does NOT suck is this audiobook. The title made me a bit skeptical as to how good (or not) this audiobook would be. A vampire book entitled "You Suck"? I thought it might be a typical young adult book where the vampires are all gorgeous and they have glamorous lives. This audiobook is not like that at all. YOU SUCK actually crosses many genres. It is Young Adult, but it also Paranormal Fiction as well as Humorous Fiction. I loved it. A few times I actually laughed out loud.

Despite the humorous twists this book actually tackles a few socially relevant issues such as the obsession of people with their appearance and the lengths to which people will go to retain or enhance their physical beauty.

Bullying and racial discrimination as well as alcoholism are also issues that appear in this audiobook.

Narrator Jeffrey Kafer has a very clear way of speaking which I appreciate. I was able to understand every spoken word which is not always the case with audiobook narrators. It is obvious that Jeffrey Kafer did his homework before recording the final narration of "You Suck".

I rate this audiobook as 4 out of 5 stars.⭐⭐⭐⭐

The book ends with a set- up for the next book in the series. I will be listening to book two.

I believe that kids from middle grades to young adults will enjoy this audiobook. It is also a fun read for adults.


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    5 out of 5 stars
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A great story

What a great mystery, the story flows easily and keeps your attention throughout. It's a fun read. Who doesn't like vampires? Dunn Kelly is a great character, I look forward to reading more. Jeffrey Kafer does a great job.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Listener received this title free

What a fun read!

When Delilah Idaho a pop sensation gets a wrinkle on her for head she feels like she is getting old. When her daddy sets up a reality show for vampires to bite her so she can stay young forever and one gets murdered,feels like the attention is no longer on her. Despite all this done who is covering for his dad who is drunk and mourning the loss ofDon’s mother and his wife and drinks yourself into a Bolivian. It is up to done to solve the case. This book was so good the more I read the more I wanted to read it is funny and quirky and work the credit. I loved it

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

You Suck review

An all right story with interesting characters and good narration. Five stars and worth listening to.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Teen Detective!!!!

Would you consider the audio edition of You Suck to be better than the print version?

I think it always is, especially when you have a good narrator!

Who was your favorite character and why?

Dunn of course! He is delightful....and I really like the character....I cant wait to listen to more of his adventures!

Have you listened to any of Jeffrey Kafer’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No, I have not...But I would love too! I liked the narration very much...it was never flat and the voices were great...he rally brought it to life for me!

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

This would make a fun tv series....weekly adventures of Dunn and his friends...of course you would need Parker as his sidekick!

Any additional comments?

** I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review **

I really liked this, this was a light listen in a fun world...where supernatural creatures exist as normal people, and its just accepted.....that's always cool to me! This is a story about a teenage guy named Dunn...his dad and him have experienced the loss...and his dad is having a hard time with it...drinking a lot and just messing up in his job as a detective that handles paranormal situations...Well Dunn covers for his dad as best as he can and when a reality show with Vampires starts having homicides, Dunn is given a kind of a liaison position with the young star Dakota to be her contact and security....its really a fun story....I never really knew who the killer was till the end and I liked it very much! well worth a listen and a credit...and I will continue this series!!!

Thank You Audiobookblast(dot)com

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Definitely Didn't Suck!

A great title for a start to a brand new series. I didn't think I would enjoy this story until I learned that it included Vampires and finding out that there will be supernatural beings in the other stories had made me a fan. In all honesty, the story was really good even before finding out vampires were going to be in it. David Wood had me immersed in the story from start to finish. This is my first story that I've listened to by David but it won't be my last if he has more available on Audible or adds more of his stories in the future. The book was filled with suspense and kept me glued to the edge of my seat. I felt this story was fun, filled with mystery, and intrigue. This story might be a YA Paranormal genre but it's also a great story for older people who are young at heart. I am looking forward to the next book in the series and I encourage the author to continue to have narrator Jeffrey Kafer do them all.

Jeffrey Kafer does a perfect job with his telling and performance of You Suck. He brought life to this story in the very first chapter. His accents and voices of each character are very distinguished. I didn't have any problems with identifying each character throughout the story. He did a wonderful job and I hope he narrated the other Dunn Kelly stories that I plead the author to add to Audible. Overall, a perfect 5 🌟 rating from me! I received this audio from the narrator in exchange for an unbiased review through Audiobook Blast.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

comedic pop-culture YA vampire story

A surprisingly unique twist on the YA vampire story. Our protagonist is a teenage boy in small town California this time - one who spends his nights covering for his alcoholic, broken-hearted, Dad's shoddy work as a police officer in the paranormal events division. We learn that the paranormal are a normal, accepted part of the world in this story and that their follies are treated like any other lawbreaker - from zombies getting stuck in crawl spaces to werewolf leash law violators. Poor Dunn gets involved in a police investigation concerning a reality show being filmed in this town, where vampires compete in silly competition to see who gets to bite and turn a bratty self-absorbed 17 year old popstar into an immortal. None of the vampires are treated as a real threat (the goth girl, the sparkly emo boy, the slutty siren, etc.), and hijinks ensue as the bodies pile up. The plot itself is ridiculous (no teenager gets to act like a cop at crime scenes, much less bring his geeky best buddy along as well), but it's all in good natured fun. The high school social cliques, social media bullying, and the prom scene felt like a high school comedy. There is a little romance but it is very G-rated.

This writing was a little choppy but really amusing. It reminded me the lovechild of of Christopher Moore's vampires in San Francisco books (Bite Me and You Suck!, with which it shares a title) and classic high school comedies like Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Can't Hardly Wait. Some plotlines were odd or abrupt, but it wasn't too glaring due to the comedic nature of the book.

The narration by Jeffrey Kafer was professional and subtle, letting the story's more absurd moments unfold without over-emphasis. His protrayal of Dunn was sympathetic and likeable.

NOTE: This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of AudiobookBlast dot com.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

YA Paranormal Mystery/Comedy!

Narration - Jeffrey Kafer - Pretty Good. He's a good story teller! I really enjoyed his narration.

So Dunn Kelly is a high school kid. His mom left him and his dad and his dad is drinking his sorrows away so Dunn does his best to cover for his dad. When a new reality series comes to their little town and a paranormal murder occurs, Dunn has to kick it into overdrive to help his dad solve the case and save his job.

This was really an entertaining book. It's actually pretty humorous, there's teenage type romance but it's not annoying or too mature or immature. There's a mystery that is a little bit Scooby Doo-like but it seems to fit in with this genre. This is just a really solid and enjoyable story. According to Goodreads, it is Dunn Kelly #1 so I'm assuming this is the beginning of a new series and my only disappointment is that there aren't others from the series out yet, because I'd keep on going right into the next one if it were available.

I received this audiobook free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Review from a 12-year-old

I listened to this book with my son, and I think the most telling thing he said is "let's get the next book!" when this one ended.

Here's what he liked about the book: the humor, the well-developed characters, the paranormal aspect, the suspense.

Here's what he didn't like: too cliche (i.e. put-upon teen ending up with the unattainable girl, the ultimate downfall of the bullies), predictable (he figured out who the killer was before it was revealed).

He didn't really have any specific reviews about the narrator, so I'll comment on this. He's great - good character voices, covers all ages believably. Just a good, solid read.

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3.5 Stars, but please read

*I received this in exchange for an honest review.
In this book, they make a reality show of vampires competing to turn her into a vampire. Obviously, the paranormal is a normal and expected part of society, so this show fits rights in. I know there are several great reviews, but this just didn't do it for me. The only thing that I KNOW was a problem for me...is the narrator spoke too fast. But books aren't "one size fits all", so don't base your decision on my review. 3.5 STARS from me.

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