You Wanna Be on Top? Audiobook By Sarah Hartshorne cover art

You Wanna Be on Top?

A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top Model

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You Wanna Be on Top?

By: Sarah Hartshorne
Narrated by: Sarah Hartshorne
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In this revealing memoir, a fan favorite America’s Next Top Model contestant pulls back the curtain on the iconic but deeply flawed reality competition show, exposing the manipulation and chaos behind the scenes.

"A delicious, hilariously relatable behind-the-scenes memoir. A page-turning lark turns into an internal (rather than external) makeover."—Maria Bamford, New York Times bestselling author of Sure, I'll Join Your Cult

Tyra Banks’s America’s Next Top Model was a cultural phenomenon with more than six million weekly viewers at its peak. Over its fifteen-year run, the show captured the glitz of the early aughts as well as its most toxic attitudes—from the glamorous but often questionable photo shoots to the cutting feedback from its highly respected if out-of-touch judges. But as its fans have grown up and as the next generation discovers ANTM, they’ve also begun to reckon with the enduring ways that the show has affected their body image and self-esteem.

Sarah Hartshorne would have never guessed that her first foray into modeling would start with being blindfolded alongside three dozen other girls on a charter bus winding through Puerto Rico. In You Wanna Be On Top?, Cycle 9’s only plus-size contestant takes us into the heart of the unforgiving auditions; the labyrinthian cruise ship the girls weren’t allowed to enjoy; and, of course, the L.A. “model house” teeming with hidden cameras and elaborately constructed tensions. As the season unfolds and the producers’ interview questions about her weight and her opinions of the other girls become increasingly pointed, Hartshorne uncovers the destabilizing methods employed to film “reality.”

Drawing on her experience as well as interviews with other contestants and production crew, Hartshorne answers the questions you always wanted to ask: Why didn’t the house have a microwave or a dishwasher? Why did girls regularly faint during eliminations? Which judge was the meanest off camera? Why is it that the girls had their most meaningful conversations in closets? (Answer: It was the one place camera crews couldn’t fit.)

With tender honesty and sharp wit, Hartshorne dissects the iconic show with an unflinching gaze that refuses to smize.

©2025 Sarah Hartshorne (P)2025 Random House Audio
Entertainment & Celebrities Entertainment & Performing Arts Film & TV Women Memoir Emotionally Gripping

Critic reviews

“A delicious, hilariously relatable behind-the-scenes memoir. A page-turning lark turns into an internal (rather than external) makeover.”—Maria Bamford, New York Times bestselling author of Sure, I'll Join Your Cult

“Juicy, nostalgic, entertaining, and disturbing, You Wanna Be on Top? is the America’s Next Top Model exposé I didn’t know I needed. For any adolescent of the mid-aughts, this book is required reading.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut

You Wanna Be On Top is a wild ride. Sarah Hartshorne’s journey from ‘plus-size model to plus-size person’ will make you laugh, move you to tears, and fill you with rage. This is an unflinching and fearless account of what it takes to make ‘good TV’ and find yourself again in the aftermath.”—Aubrey Gordon, New York Times bestselling author of “You Just Need to Lose Weight”

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More than giving us dirt on ANTM, this book attempts to explore - at a distance - the author’s experience as part of the show. Frankly, it sounded manipulative and awful (her experience, not the book), even though the story is told in an upbeat fashion, with vibrant, descriptive writing. I enjoyed it very much. The author is self-aware, and provides a perspective on this transformative experience that may be different than you think.

What Effect Does Reality TV Have On Participants?

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Sarah is funny and real as she tells her story about her time on ANTM. For me her telling about bow the producers and judges constantly made everything about being 'plus size' and body confidence hit the hardest. I'm glad she decided to tell her story and she'd light o the issues, joy and people she met doing reality tv

A funny and personal tale about reality tv

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Some may say the BTS information is “nothing new” but hearing the frank diary entries, the back stories that explained neuroses and personality characteristics we came to love on television made this a breath of fresh air to listen to. Kudos to the authors tongue in cheek performance! The author should know how many people with disordered eating she is speaking to, and she clearly does. She covers her own battles with grace, honesty and not one ounce of judgement of pretension (self focused or otherwise). Fans of the show will love this!

Addicting, Honest and Refreshing

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Loved her TikToks and loved this book! I recommended it to all my friends who grew up with ANTM

Couldn’t put it down

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Not very interesting and writing meh. Prompted me to go review Cycle 9. Mostly regurgitation of what was in the season. Was disappointing that there weren’t more behind the scenes info.

Predictable

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