Repairing relationships is sacred work—but it isn’t always easy and straightforward. This episode delves into the nuanced process of navigating ruptures that may not resolve. With an emphasis on discernment, the conversation addresses how to identify what is truly wanted in a relationship, when to risk re-engagement, and when to honor the wisdom of stepping back. It explores how cultural tendencies toward polarization and disconnection can interfere with genuine repair and highlights the significance of setting healthy, even painful, limits as a means of protecting integrity and fostering personal growth.

The episode also touches on the insidious role shame can play in keeping people stuck and disconnected. It calls listeners to consider the deeper work of awareness—of self, systems, and others—and points to the role that healthy, connected communities can play in offering hope and healing, even when full reconciliation isn't possible.

Episode Links and References

• Connections Conference 2025 (Belonging to Become) - Save $50 with code KNOWN50 when you register by June 30, 2025

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In this powerful episode of our Rupture and Repair series, we explore how resilience is formed—not by avoiding conflict or stress—but through our intentional engagement with rupture and our commitment to healing. Moreover, what if the work of repairing relational ruptures is not just for now—but actually preparing us for the kind of life we’ll live in the new heaven and new earth?

We consider how repair, though often difficult and humbling, is a sacred act that reshapes us—personally, relationally, and spiritually. Drawing from biblical imagination, clinical wisdom, and interpersonal neurobiology, we look at how returning to one another with truth and care builds the kind of resilience that can carry us through suffering and into deeper connection. Whether you’re navigating conflict in your closest relationships or reflecting on the brokenness of the world, this conversation invites you to see repair as a courageous, hopeful practice that forms us for wholeness.

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What does it really mean to forgive “seventy times seven”? It’s a command that sounds both beautiful and impossible—until we begin to understand what forgiveness actually is.

Forgiveness isn’t a moment—it’s a movement of the heart over time. Forgiveness often feels like giving something to the person who hurt us—but what if it’s actually something we do to set ourselves free? In this episode, we unpack the liberating nature of forgiveness: how it can release us from the cycle of resentment, even when the offender hasn’t apologized or changed. With insights from Scripture, therapy, and neuroscience, we’ll explore the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, the myths of “just getting over it,” and the internal shifts that make healing possible. Forgiveness isn’t about pretending the hurt didn’t happen—it’s about choosing to live untangled from its power. Through a story of personal forgiveness and repair, we’ll see how letting go can be the beginning of becoming whole again.

Episode Links and References

• Everett Worthington - REACH Forgiveness
• Everett Worthington - Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to Wholeness and Hope

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What happens when the fabric of our shared life begins to unravel — not just politically or culturally, but spiritually and relationally? In this episode, we explore the quiet violence of our age: the kind that doesn’t wield weapons but erodes connection through shame, contempt, and indifference. From echo chambers to avoidance, we examine how disconnection shapes our communities, our faith, and even our inner lives.

Drawing from both Scripture and neuroscience, we unpack the psychological comfort of sameness — and how it ultimately deepens our fear and fragmentation. We reflect on how Jesus calls us into a radically different way of being: one rooted in reconciliation, presence, and courageous vulnerability. This isn’t a conversation about agreement. It’s about relationship. Not about tolerance, but about intimacy — the kind that invites us to engage across divides with humility and curiosity.

Through honest stories, biblical insight, and compassionate reflection, we consider what it means to show up — truly show up — with those who see the world differently. And we name the cost of that kind of presence: the risk, the grief, the courage it takes to hold tension and move toward fracture lines rather than away from them.

If you’re longing for connection but feeling the ache of division, this episode is an invitation — to pick up a needle and thread, to mend what’s been torn, and to begin again with a risky conversation, a porch sit, and the commitment to see the person in front of you as more than just the opinion they hold.

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Episode Links and References

• Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents - Isabel Wilkerson
• Reparations: A Christian Call for Repentance and Repair - Duke Kwon and Gregory Thompson
• Be the Bridge: Pursuing God's Heart for Racial Reconciliation - Latasha Morrison

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In this episode, we trace the journey of repair from the biblical story of Eden to the present-day church. We begin by looking at the rupture in Eden, the first human failure, which sets the stage for the entire narrative of repair in the Bible. The church, we argue, serves as the modern-day extension of God's original plan for renewal, where heaven and earth collide, and where God's work of restoration continues. Yet, this place of healing is also where significant ruptures can occur, often leaving members hurt and disillusioned.

The conversation highlights the delicate balance between idealism and realism when it comes to the church's role in repairing relational fractures. The church, like any human system, is not immune to dysfunction, but it is also the place where God's mission of restoration is most powerfully present. We discuss how leaders in the church must navigate the complexities of repair, creating spaces of safety and vulnerability while also confronting their own wounds. This episode offers listeners a deeper understanding of how spiritual growth and relational healing are inextricably linked, both for individuals and the community as a whole.

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Episode Links and References

• When Narcissism Comes to Church - Chuck DeGroat
• When the Church Harms People - Diane Langberg
• Redeeming Power: Understanding Power and Abuse in the Church - Diane Langberg
• Matthew 18:15-17
• John 16:33

Artistic Offerings to Reflect On

• The Incredulity of Saint Thomas - painting by Caravaggio
• St. Matthew Passion (BWV 244) by Johann Sebastian Bach

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What does it mean to be human in a world where disconnection is not only common, but often woven into the very systems we live in? This episode opens the first of two episodes on rupture and repair in community, drawing deeply from Christian theology, neuroscience, and lived pastoral experience.

Grounded in the biblical assertion that we are made in the image of a communal God, the conversation reframes human identity as inherently relational—our sense of self does not exist in isolation but is shaped through connection with others. Through the lens of Genesis and the teachings of Jesus, brokenness is not treated as an individual shortcoming but as a shared human condition, one that requires collective healing and compassionate presence.

As the episode unfolds, it becomes clear that rupture—whether it shows up as conflict, trauma, or disconnection—is rarely contained to one moment or one relationship. Instead, it reverberates across families, institutions, and even digital spaces, often echoing through generations. With vivid stories from clinical settings and systemic reflections on cultural and organizational life, the conversation exposes how unresolved pain becomes embedded in the structures around us.

The episode also introduces a powerful theological and scientific counterpoint: healing, like trauma, is not confined. Drawing on the idea of "quantum relationality," the discussion explores how repair—when undertaken with intention, humility, and community—can ripple outward to transform entire environments. Whether in a parent-child bond, a broken workplace culture, or a fragmented congregation, the episode illustrates how repair work, especially when modeled on the loving, non-anxious presence of the Trinity, has the potential to restore what was lost. This episode sets the stage for episode 12, which will dive deeper into the Church’s unique role in this sacred, systemic work of repair.

Episode Links and References

• When Narcissism Comes to Church - Chuck DeGroat
• It Didn't Start with You - Mark Wolynn
• Mindset: The New Science of Personal Transformation - Dan Siegel

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This week is part 2 of our series on Timing, Tempo, and Time where we step into the nuanced terrain of what it actually takes to begin the work of repair. Whether we're the ones who caused harm, were impacted by it, or are caught in a mutual fracture, repair requires initiative—and initiative often requires courage.

We explore how clarity about our role, our responsibility, and our relational context shapes how we move first (or why we hesitate to). But repair isn’t just about the decision to start—it’s also about the pace we keep. Some fractures can begin mending in a single moment; others need months of faithful return.

This episode invites us to consider the rhythm of healing, the emotional resistance that can surface, and why repair is not a performance to rush but a process to honor. When we learn to initiate repair at a sustainable tempo, we become people who actively resist disintegration—and participate in the restoration of what’s been broken.

Episode Links and References

• Genesis 3:15 – The first mention of God's promise to repair rupture.
• The Soul of Shame - Curt Thompson, MD
• The Wounded Heart - Dan Allender
• The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel van der Kolk
• After the Affair - Janis Spring

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