"Where did we ever get the notion that in order for children to behave better, they first have to feel worse?"

Our episode this week is with Wendy Snyder, founder of Fresh Start Family, mom of two teens, podcaster and certified positive (or as she likes to call it), powerful parenting coach.

On this episode, we talk with Wendy about what it means to be an empowered parent and how can we parent out of compassionate connection and NOT fear and force.

We chat through these questions:

1. What is your overall philosophy on parenting? Are there any core principles you always encourage parents to follow?

2. How has your faith journey shaped the way that you encourage parents in their parenting journeys? Are their old beliefs around parenting that you have let go of or that have evolved?

3. What is one of the things that parents come to you the most about?

4. What are the most common challenges parents come to you with? How do you help parents balance discipline with love and understanding?

5. What are some effective techniques for managing challenging behaviors? How can parents address negative behaviors while maintaining a positive relationship with their child?

We found Wendy full of surprises, wisdom, vulnerability and real passion as she shares her own journey to leaving behind parenting with fear and force and leaning into empowered, compassionate connection. She is a fierce advocate for doing parenting in a way that heals our own souls while meeting the needs of our kids. It's a must-listen if you want practical help, hope and humor in them middle of the mayhem of parenting. THIS IS A GOOD ONE!!

You can find Wendy here:

Website: freshstartfamilyonline.com

Instagram: @freshstartwendy

Facebook: Fresh Start Family

"In the end, Jesus proved that forgiveness is more powerful than punches and kicks. And in the end, love wins over hate." - Jared Neusch and Connor Shram in their book: Jesus vs. the Bad Guys

Our episode this week is with two dads, one a corn hole champion and Biblical scholar (Dr. Jared Neusch) and the other a comedian and change-maker (Connor Shram), both authors of a new book perfect for this time of year, Jesus Vs. the Bad Guys: a Story of Love and Forgiveness.

On this episode, we talk with Jared and Connor about reconsidering the Easter story in light of active peace-making and non-violence.

We chat through these questions:

1. How do we introduce children to the person of Jesus without reinforcing the fear-based, dualistic messages many of us were taught in high-control religious environments? (We are thinking of good guys vs bad guys here) Do you believe there are good guys and bad guys?

2. Why does it feel important to you that kids have a love of Scripture? What is it about Scripture that feels valuable to you?

3. Can the stories of Jesus’ arrest, conviction, and crucifixion be shared with young children in age-appropriate ways that honor both their emotional development and spiritual curiosity?

4. Your book emphasizes Jesus’ “weapons” of forgiveness, peacemaking, nonviolence, and love—how might these values challenge the cultural parenting norms we inherited from high-control religious systems?

Jared and Connor were gentle, wise, funny and so easy to talk with. We didn't want the conversation to end. If you have the desire to reconsider Easter this year and perhaps discover new ways to engage with your kids and this very complicated story, this podcast episode is for you.

You can find Jared here:

Instagram: @jaredneusch

You can find Connor here:

Instagram: @connorshram

You don’t have to the answers to why Jesus died to talk about Easter with your kids. (Sarah Swartzendruber)

Our episode this week is with our resident Children's Pastor, childhood development expert, mom to two and Bible scholar, Sarah Swartzendruber.

On this episode, we talk with Sarah about reimagining the Easter story by diving into atonement theories and practical ways we can talk about it with our littles, middles and bigs.

We chat through these questions:

1. What's your current take on the Easter story? What do you personally believe?

2. What are the seven main atonement theories (reasons people believe Jesus died)?

3. What do we do about Easter and our kids? How can we navigate the complicated adult themes that the Easter story holds?

4. Can you share with us specific age appropriate ways we might be able to study the Easter story with our kids?

5. Are there themes or ideas that you stay away from when you’re teaching the Easter story?

6. How do we create an environment where our kids feel safe to ask hard questions and also encourage them to honor differing beliefs?

Sarah is brilliant and funny, always a welcome guest at our podcast table. If you are struggling with how to celebrate (or NOT) Easter this year and what the heck to do with your kids and the messy, complicated themes surrounding it, this podcast episode is for you.

You can find the Sarah in these spaces:

Instagram: @parentingafterdeconstruction

Website: www.parentingafterdeconstuction.com

The worst thing we ever did is pretend God isn’t the easiest thing in this Universe available to every soul in every breath. (Chelan Harkin)

Our episode this week is with Chelan Harkin, mama to two and mystical poet extraordinaire.

On this episode, we talk with Chelan about growing up in the Baha'i faith, the courage it takes to question what you've been told all your life, how our faith can align with our soul and especially how this all fleshes out in our parenting.

We chat through these questions:

1. Your poetry invites readers to redefine traditional concepts of God and spirituality. How has your personal journey with spirituality influenced this mission, and what impact do you hope it has on your audience?

2. You once embarked on a 30-day “bad poem” experiment to break free from perfectionism. Can you talk about how that creative challenge helped you dismantle the rigid expectations imposed by high-control systems, religious or otherwise?

3. You have a poem that calls children "life’s great revolutionaries," challenging us to overturn our ingrained habits and expectations. Can you share an experience where your child’s unfiltered perspective radically shifted the way you view success and the meaning of life?

4. Your words remind us that children invite us to let go of our obsession with perfectionism and to instead embrace the beautiful mess of each moment. How has your child’s spontaneous, raw energy helped you see the sacred in everyday imperfection?

5. Rejecting a God of fear in favor of one who delights in joy—symbolized by putting extra whipped cream on things—your poem reimagines divinity as a source of wonder and playfulness. In what ways has your relationship with your child reshaped your understanding of faith and inspired you to live more joyfully?

We found Chelan to be gentle, authentic, and very in tune with her soul. We laughed a lot, talked about ice cream, and also took a deep dive into some difficult questions.

You can find Chelan here:

Instagram: @chelanharkin

Facebook: Chelan Harkin

With regard to the question, “Do you believe in God?” I do not care much about your answer. But if I were to ask the last five people with whom you’ve interacted if you were kind, about those answers I care very much. (Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer)

Our episode this week is with Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer, dad, author of the brilliant book, Highly Unorthodox Gospel, (also known as HUG), French Horn player and our very first Rabbi.

On this episode, we talk with rB (as he refers to himself) about all things related to kindness, compassion and love when it comes to our ever-evolving faith.

We chat through these questions:

1. Tell us about the word “spiritualigiuos” on your website called “Religion Outside the Box.” We are so intrigued. Can you tell us what this means to you? How is it different from mainstream practice?

2. We love the title of your new book with the acronym HUG (not lost on us), Highly Unorthodox Gospel. What’s your gospel like and why is it highly unorthodox?

3. One of your reviews on the book said this: “Hi rB, You had me at page fricking one!! I absolutely loved the book and couldn’t put it down. I finished it in one day. I am going to read it again and again. Loved the bacon cheese burger on matzah during Passover.” Can you just indulge us with this taste of what your book might be like for those who might be just a bit skeptical?

4. We are a parenting podcast. The themes of compassion, kindness, and love are central to the book. How can parents incorporate these values into their daily lives with their children that may be different than the way they might have grown up in high-control religion? Why these three?

5. How do you think we can challenge the idea of "right and wrong", “black and white” , what we might deem as orthodoxy in our faiths while still raising children with values that matter?

6. In what ways can we nurture both our own spiritual growth and our children’s spiritual development in a world full of competing beliefs?

We found rB to be hilarious, genuine, knowledgable and humble. We laughed a lot and also dove deep into some difficult questions.

You can find rB here:

Websites: rabbibrian.com
rotb.org

Instagram: @rabbi_brian_af

Facebook: Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer

Newsletter: https://rotb.org/subscribe/

Doubt is another word for imagination. (Liz Charlotte Grant)

Our episode this week is with Liz Charlotte Grant, mom, author of the new brilliant book, Knock at the Sky: Seeking God in Genesis After Losing Faith in the Bible, artist and lover of the Bible.

On this episode, we talk with Liz about all things related to seeking God through Scripture even as our faith continues to evolve.

We chat through these questions:

1. What made you do a deep dive into Genesis specifically?

2. How do you continue to see Scripture as sacred even when you no longer believe in its literal interpretation?

3. What is a fresh way to read Genesis that moves beyond traditional interpretations and the culture wars?

4. The Old Testament is often the last part of the Bible that people come back to. What beauty and wisdom can we find in these books outside of this vengeful God that many of us have known?

5. What does it look like to view the Bible as a work of art, and how can this perspective reshape our relationship with Scripture and faith?

6. What role has parenting played in your fresh way of viewing Scripture and the ways you’ve re structured your faith?

7. In the process of examining and teasing out our beliefs, how can we teach our children that the seeking itself is the point, and that it’s okay to question sacred texts?

We found Liz to be funny, knowledgeable and ever-so-relatable. We laughed a lot and also dove deep into some difficult questions.

You can find Liz here:

Website: lizcharlotte.com

Instagram: @lizcharlottegrant

Facebook: Liz Charlotte Grant

Threads: @lizcharlottegrant

Substack: https://substack.com/@lizcharlotte

What we're learning is that God is comfortable with questions. In fact, our questions are often where God want to meet us. (Erin Hicks Moon)

Our episode this week is with Erin Hicks Moon, mom, author of the new brilliant book, I've Got Questions, Zac Efron apologist (it's a thing y'all), and self-proclaimed Bible-nerd.

On this episode, we talk with Erin about all things related to questioning, and why it's an necessary spiritual practice. Plus, we do find out more about why she has a obsession with Zac Efron, a reason to listen for sure.

We chat through these questions:

1. For parents who are deconstructing, how can we help our kids navigate their own faith journey when we’re still figuring out ours?

2. What is the spiritual practice of "having it out with God." How can we do that in a healthy, healing way, especially when dealing with a faith background that was once rigid and controlling?

3. You emphasize the power of lament and naming our pressure points in faith. What do you mean by lament and why does it matter so much when it comes to questioning God? And how does lament relate to naming our pressure points?

4. You use lots of humor as a way to cope and heal. How can we, as parents, incorporate humor or lightness into our own healing process when parenting feels so heavy due to past religious experiences?

5. You say that wrestling with God is part of the traditional Christian story, not a deviation from it. How can parents model a healthy wrestling with faith for their children, especially when they were taught to avoid questions in a high-control environment?

6. In your book, you offer a pathway to make peace with our past faith experiences. What practical steps would you recommend for parents to set new spiritual boundaries for their families, even if those steps take them outside traditional religious norms?

We found Erin to be smart, hilarious, and engaging, our conversation with her perfect for the times we find ourselves in on our ever-evolving faith and parenting journeys.

You can find Erin here:

Website: erinhmoon.com

Instagram: @erinhmoon

Substack: erinhmoon.substack.com

"Purity culture presents a false dichotomy: restraint or chaos. The real alternative? Sexual empowerment - the freedom to experience intimacy on your own meaningful terms." (Joshua Harris)

Our episode this week is with Joshua Harris, former pastor and the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, released at the height of purity culture, and currently on an highly sacred, evolving spiritual path. Here's where he finds himself today: I used to have all the answers—chapter and verse. Now I’m happily uncertain and enjoying the wonder and mystery of life.

Purity culture is one of the most harmful ideologies that has invaded not only our bodies, but our minds and souls. We feel it's impact every day in our relationships and even in our parenting.

On this episode, we talk with Josh about his own journey as the promoter and victim of purity culture, his "fall from grace," the deep heartache that ensued, his own shifting journey towards healing and wholeness, and how all of that has played out in and with his family.

We answer these questions:

1. You’ve gone through a pretty public shift in how you view relationships and faith. How has your perspective on dating and marriage evolved since the release of I Kissed Dating Goodbye?

2. Reflecting on your journey from promoting purity culture to embracing a more open perspective, how do you now approach discussions about relationships and sexuality with your children, and what lessons have you learned that you wish you had known earlier?

3. Given the shifts in your personal and spiritual life, what has been the most significant lesson you've learned about grace, forgiveness, and transformation?

4. How have your faith shifts changed the way that you parent your own children, perhaps in other ways that are not directly associated with purity culture?

5. If you could sit your kids down and tell them one thing to take on their life’s journey (with the caveat that they would listen to you), what would it be and why?

We found Josh to be wise, gentle, humble and the conversation with him much-needed and very much-appreciated. There was a palpable healing that took place as we were recording.

If you have been harmed by purity culture and want to take one step toward your own journey of uncovering it and recovering from it, this is a MUST-LISTEN!

You can find Joshua here:

Website: joshharris.com

Instagram: @harrisjosh