When can we have all the sexual health services we need?

My guest in this episode is Phil Samba, health promoter and the host of The Other Blue Pill podcast series. That show is about a pill called PrEP, which stops people getting HIV, and how campaigners fought legal battles for years to make it available to everyone in the UK. Phil is now trying to keep up that momentum in making all our sexual health needs available to everyone, in a way that works for them, all the time.

Phil and I talked not only about HIV and PrEP, but also about doxyPEP which can help reduce your chances of other STIs, and about how sexual health is not enough of a political issue. Phil works for The Love Tank, which is an incredible community organisation campaigning for better sexual health in London—and it was a real treat to talk to him.

Here are some resources:

As a single gay man, here’s how I take control of my sex life by Phil Samba

All about PrEP and how to avoid HIV

All about DoxyPEP to avoid various STIs

The Other Blue Pill podcast series by Queer AF

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What can straight people learn from queer relationships?

My guest in this episode is Amanda Middleton, a family and systemic psychotherapist. Amanda works with queer couples, families and polycules. Through decades of experience, she’s developed a fascinating practice that places queer attitudes at the heart of her work—and her insights now can benefit everybody.

The point is that these queer approaches help us to get to a world where we can have the sex we want (not just queer sex, but freer sex). I also got to ask Amanda what she thinks of the idea of ‘compatibility’ when it comes to looking for a partner, or trying to make a relationship work. She had so many interesting things to say!

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Would sex robots be good for us?

My guest in this episode is Heather Parry, who’s been wondering why we need sex robots. Heather is a writer of fiction and non-fiction, and she wrote a book called Electric Dreams: On Sex Robots and the Failed Promises of Capitalism. It’s a fascinating bipedal stroll through the growing industry of pimped-up sex dolls and the dreams of imagineers who predict a world with fleshy human-like sex robots.

In researching the book Heather found that there are several factors connecting the people who want to have sex with robots, and that led her into an analysis of capitalism, gender, heterosexuality, and individualism. So that’s what we talked about in our conversation, with a mini diversion into whether or not Data from Star Trek produces semen.

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you be intimate with 200 people?

My guest in this episode is Nick Woof, the founder of London’s edgiest erotic party, Bator Bros. The party is centred on the idea that we can enjoy intimacy and community in a sexual context. Imagine an orgy, but where you’re only allowed to use your hands (sorta).

Nick explains how he developed the ideas that led to him to create this new type of sex party, and what we can all gain by thinking about intimacy and community differently. In Nick’s free sex world, community can involve erotic interaction, and intimacy can involve more than one person. It’s a really fascinating conversation with someone who is both a deep thinker and an action man (Nick also runs workshops to facilitate healing through creativity).

Ready? 3, 2, 1, let’s go...

To listen to Nick and some of the Bator Bros talk more about the party, listen to the recent Bator’s Journey radio broadcast.

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does age matter?

My guest in this episode is Hayley Conyers, who has been working as a research assistant at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, and specifically on a study into the sexual health of older adults. Many people assume that older people aren’t having sex, or that if they are, that’s gross. Well, both of those things are wrong, aren’t they? A free sex world is a world where we can have and enjoy healthy sex well into old age, if we want.

The project Hayley worked on encouraged lots of older and disabled people to talk about their experiences, together with doctors, medical researchers and social scientists. They came up with five recommendations for how sexual health services could be made better for older people — and some of the results may surprise you!

The novel I mentioned in the episode is One Last Song by Nathan Evans.

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How can we overcome slutshaming?

My guest in this episode is Beth Ashley, author of Sluts: The Truth about Slutshaming and What We Can Do To Fight It. It’s a wide-ranging book that pulls together history, politics, class, identity, gender and activism, to try to understand the resurgence of slutshaming. Thankfully Beth also has tons of actions that we can all take to fight back.

I remember telling my mum once that I like sex with different people, and she called me a slut. I laughed it off but, of course, I also remember the way she shamed me, don’t I? Slutshaming sticks, and we all need a shower. So let’s get wet, with Beth.

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why don’t some women want to date bisexual men?

My guest in this episode is Lewis Oakley, a bisexual activist. Lewis has experienced prejudice from women who tell him to his face that even if they like him, they won’t date him due to his history of gay sex. This is one of the many ways that biphobia not only endures, but seems to go unchecked. So Lewis is on a mission to change that attitude, through writing and speaking on the subject, and hosting the Bisexual Brunch podcast.

He tells me about how UK equality and hate crime laws might be OK, but we still have a long way to go to treat bi people with the respect they deserve. A ‘free sex’ world is nothing without flourishing bisexuals! And thankfully Lewis has a bagful of suggestions of how we build a life free of biphobia. His book, Bisexuality: The Basics, is out in May.

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Should we show off our kinky selves in public?

My guest in this episode is Pup Davey, who is a pornstar and all-round kinky queer person. He makes a living from kinky sex videos and he wants the freedom to share them.

Davey and I talked about the limits in society on our freedom to express ourselves sexually (especially if we’re kinky). This includes battling online censorship and wearing kinky clothes in the street. One of Davey’s stories is about a day he was wearing a pup collar in public, and a friend told him to hide it—should Davey have done that?

That’s the question we explore in this episode. Enjoy it. Woof!

A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com.

Hosted, produced and edited by Adam Zmith

Music: Translife by Othon

Artwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka Öberg

Executive Producer: Tash Walker

An Aunt Nell Production

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.