I just recorded an episode that is maybe the most personal, most collective one yet.

You know by now—Grief Heals isn’t just a title. It’s a way of life. A lens. A returning. And this week, I explored how grief heals our justice work, our relationships, and the roles we all play—often unknowingly—in systems that divide and dominate.

I pulled from a familiar model: the Drama Triangle.

Victim. Persecutor. Rescuer.

These roles aren’t just interpersonal—they’re deeply systemic. And when we take on one, we often slide into all three.

This week, I invite you into a deeper reflection:

Where have I tried to save someone and lost sight of their power?

Where have I become the bully in the name of justice?

Where has grief been bypassed, ignored, or mutated into resentment, burnout, or judgment?

I talk about that moment I entered a county meeting to “stand up for the people” and ended up steamrolling others. I talk about the pain of watching family members steeped in grief they never got to name. I talk about how even our best intentions can cause harm when we skip over grief and go straight to control.

But more than anything—I talk about how grief can transform the triangle.

Grief that is sacred, not profane.

Grief that slows us down, enters gently, and listens.

Grief that composts our pain into nourishment for us all.

This episode is a love letter to the justice worker, the reformer, the wounded, the weary, the world-builder.

If you're deep in the work and wondering why it still feels heavy—this is for you.

If you’ve been the victim, the rescuer, or the one in power—this is for you.

If you're grieving what’s been done in your name or by your silence—this is for you.

Because as Gabor Maté says: Grief is the antidote to trauma.

And we don’t just carry trauma individually—we carry it collectively.

Let’s grieve together. Let’s name what’s real. Let’s remember who we are.

Thank you for showing up with your whole heart.

Thank you for naming what hurts and walking with love.

Thank you for believing with me that grief is holy, that we belong to each other, and that love—when it shows up real—transforms everything.

With you in all of it,

Lisa Michelle

P.S. The episode includes a few reflections to sit with, or journal through:

Where have I reenacted the triangle internally—with my own inner critic, rescuer, or bully?

Where has my grief gone unnamed—and how is it asking to be heard?

What might it look like to show up as a companion instead of a savior?

Let’s breathe together because we breathe the same air.

I recorded this episode inspired by an experience I had with the red ants in my yard. You heard that right.

For the whole story, listen to this week’s recording. In short, I got impatient, disrupted an ant hill, got stung, and ended up contemplating – Does God Grieve?

I’m not a theologian, philosopher, or anything else that might hint toward expert. And, I’m in awe how grief continues to teach me.

Love me.

Cause me to slow down and notice.

I’m in awe of grief’s attention to detail.

Connection to the whole story.

Grief is my path to oneness – perhaps yours too.

I recorded this podcast specifically for someone experiencing the fresh loss of a loved one. If that’s you, welcome.

I’m gonna keep this brief - and the podcast if brief too.

First. There is nothing wrong with you. You can not get this wrong.

Your body is responding to a profound disruption to your sense of normal and your entire anatomy is impacted.

Two. It’s common to feel guilty to simply live your routine.

Imagine, your person watching you now. Better yet. Imagine that the roles are reversed and you are watching them experience losing you. What do you want for them? Do you want them to stay in a perpetual state of suffering?

What if what you want for them is a permission slip of sorts for you?

You likely want to stay close to your person. How do you do that? What did they care about? What were their values, or the unique impact they made in the world.

Trying on some of those interests and traits is a way that may help you feel close to them.

Three. Being honest with yourself about the unfinished conversations between you does not hurt your person.

Even though in our culture, there is an unexamined belief that talking about the dead is off limits - that somehow it harms them - the truth is what is unfinished stays alive in you.

There is so much more in this episode… It's deeply personal with parts of my story – including how I was with the betrayal I sensed, how to get support, what to say to hurtful comments, and how to stay grounded.

And please know, I’m here – in your corner.

I recorded this podcast specifically for someone experiencing the fresh loss of a loved one. If that’s you, welcome.

I’m gonna keep this brief - and the podcast if brief too.

First. There is nothing wrong with you. You can not get this wrong.

Your body is responding to a profound disruption to your sense of normal and your entire anatomy is impacted.

Two. It’s common to feel guilty to simply live your routine.

Imagine, your person watching you now. Better yet. Imagine that the roles are reversed and you are watching them experience losing you. What do you want for them? Do you want them to stay in a perpetual state of suffering?

What if what you want for them is a permission slip of sorts for you?

You likely want to stay close to your person. How do you do that? What did they care about? What were their values, or the unique impact they made in the world.

Trying on some of those interests and traits is a way that may help you feel close to them.

Three. Being honest with yourself about the unfinished conversations between you does not hurt your person.

Even though in our culture, there is an unexamined belief that talking about the dead is off limits - that somehow it harms them - the truth is what is unfinished stays alive in you.

There is so much more in this episode… It's deeply personal with parts of my story – including how I was with the betrayal I sensed, how to get support, what to say to hurtful comments, and how to stay grounded.

And please know, I’m here – in your corner.

I don’t see grief as something to get over.

I see it as something that carries us back to what matters.

This week on the podcast, I’m sharing the heart of how I understand grief—not just as a response to loss, but as love in motion.

Grief is not the wound.

It’s the hand that tends the wound.

It’s the love that moves toward what hurts…

what was taken…

what never arrived…

and still matters.

In this episode, I meander through how this framework—this living relationship with grief—has shaped my life, my work, my way of being with others.

I share stories. Memories. Moments where grief softened me into truth.

Moments where grief showed me how to stay with what was once unbearable.

I talk about how unprocessed grief mirrors systems of domination—how we often internalize the very violence we long to dismantle.

And how grief, when we let it do its sacred work, can return us to flow, to self, to oneness.

Grief doesn’t only soften — it also disrupts.

It turns over the tables of numbness and performance.

It clears the way for real love to enter.

In that sense, grief is a revolutionary.

Like Jesus, it disrupts… for love’s sake.

This isn’t a lecture.

It’s an experience.

A wandering through the wild garden of love and longing and letting go.

A remembering that grief is not our enemy. It’s our companion.

Whether you’re in the thick of change, quietly cocooning, or simply not in a space to listen right now—I honor you.

Grief Heals is a family, and families know how to feed one another in many ways. So here are a few invitations, tools, and practices for you to carry into your own day:

Nourishment for the In-Between

1. Practice the pause. Take one breath. Let yourself feel exactly how you feel. No fixing. No judgment. Just presence.
   

2. Name a shift. What have you recently let go of, or what is letting go of you? What might be arriving in its place?
   

3. Try this breath: Inhale: I belong here. Exhale: Even in the in-between.
   

4. Reflection prompt: What part of your life right now feels like a threshold—a goodbye and a hello at the same time?
   

Up for listening…

Let’s dive deep into the beautiful, generative space between what was and what will be.

A journey where grief isn't loss, but Love– witnessing, listening, and giving a compassionate kiss to your most tender emotions.

We explore:

• The magic happening underground, just like muscles breaking down to rebuild stronger

• How every emotion - anger, resentment, uncertainty - has a place in nourishing your personal ecosystem

• The power of welcoming all parts of yourself, just as nature welcomes every creature

We'll breathe together, stretch our arms wide, and remember: we belong to each other. Your story is not just yours - it's a sweeping, interconnected circle that touches us all.

Inspired by Amanda Owen’s The Power of Receiving and the Rumi poem The Guest House, this episode is for anyone in the middle of a goodbye and the unknown ahead…

Which, if we’re honest, is all of us.

This Episode Is For You If…

• You find yourself comparing your success, your body, your parenting, or your worth to others.
  

• You struggle with feeling “not enough” and don’t know why.
  

• You want a way out of the pain loop that doesn’t shame you for how you got there.

Hello, hello, hello—

Let’s just take a breath together. Because you and I? We breathe the same air. We really do belong to each other.

This week on the Grief Heals podcast, we’re exploring something that affects all of us—whether we admit it or not: comparison. We’re diving into two chapters from Mel Robbins’ book The Let Them Theory, and like always, we’re holding it through the lens of grief—not as something tragic, but as love coming to meet what was lost.

Because here’s the truth: We don’t compare ourselves because we’re stupid, or broken, or shallow. We compare because we learned—somewhere along the way—that in order to be loved, we had to be better. Be quieter. Be smarter. Be more useful. Be less needy.

And what if that’s the very place grief is trying to reach?

In this episode, we explore:

• How comparison is a natural outcome of unmet childhood needs for safety and belonging
  

• The brilliance of our early coping strategies (like perfectionism, people-pleasing, staying small)
  

• A framework that helps us say: everything I’ve thought or done made perfect sense with what I knew and what I had
  

• Why naming our losses opens the door to healing them
  

• How grief grows our capacity to love and be loved as we are—not as who we perform to be
  

And yes, we touch on capitalism, poverty, education systems, and how this all connects to collective grief—and our collective healing.

Whether or not you listen, here are a few prompts to help you hold what surfaced:

1. Where do I compare myself the most? What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t?
   

2. What did I learn about love growing up? What part of me thought “I have to earn it”?
   

3. What might change if I told myself: You are already enough. You’re already loved. You’re already home.
   

Listen now to “Comparison, Compassion, and the Loss of Belonging” [Insert episode link]

And don’t forget— We’ll be launching a Let Them book club soon, walking through Mel Robbins’ work through the lens of grief. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to pretend. You just get to show up as you are, with your whole self—and that is enough.

Because grief heals. Because you matter. Because we belong to each other.

In this week’s episode of Grief Heals, we explore Chapter 5 of Mel Robbins’ book Let Them, which invites us to let them think bad thoughts about you.

And in true Grief Heals fashion, we’re holding that invitation through the lens of grief—not grief as death, but as love bringing nutrients to the soul, the kind that fosters new life, deep self-acceptance, and brave belonging.

Because let’s be real: So many of us were never taught that our loudness, our softness, our mess, our silence, our brilliance—were okay.

We were shaped, shamed, scolded, or celebrated only when we conformed.

And what got lost in all that shaping? Us.

So we talk about that in this episode:

The grief of being judged for who you are

The strategies you developed to belong (people-pleasing, perfectionism, shrinking, rebelling—not bad, just brilliant adaptations)

And the reclamation of your wholeness, not through force but through love

You don’t have to listen to receive something nourishing from this. Here are a few reflection prompts and tools you can use right now:

Reflection Prompts

Whether or not you press play, these are yours to hold.

When was a time you were judged for something beautifully unique about you?

What got lost in the aftermath? What strategy did you develop to stay safe?

What part of you are you still trying to manage or hide to avoid rejection?

Could that part be grieving not being celebrated?

What would it mean to let them judge you—and still love yourself?

What does that kind of freedom feel like in your body?

Practice: Letting Grief Nourish What Was Lost

Close your eyes.

Place a hand on your heart or belly.

Breathe in the phrase: We breathe the same air.

Breathe out: We belong to each other.

Let grief come like water, like wind, like the love you didn’t get then—but are giving to yourself now.

Want to listen?

This episode is full of tender stories, real-time revelations, and an honest look at how grief can meet us right where we are—even in our shame, our mistakes, our need to control.

Even in a too-loud voice or a scraped-up pair of jeans.