In today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to.

This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough.

It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of porn addiction.

This story will be told from the perspective of a father who is watching their son struggle with a pornography addiction. And regardless of whether you’re a parent to an addict, a spouse of an addict, or the addict themselves, I believe this story will help you. Above all, I hope it helps you feel seen, understood, and loved.

I based this story on a therapeutic experience I had in an IFS therapy session, where I came face to face with an ‘addict part’ of my mind and had a sacred interaction as best I can describe it.

That addict part of me became addicted to porn and masturbation when I was 12-years-old and had remained stuck in the shame and belief that it was unlovable, alone, and perceived as evil.

Many porn addicts have a part of their mind that is still there in the past - stuck in that bathroom or at that computer screen - believing horrible things about themselves.

If we can truly see ourselves and get in touch with the pain behind the porn addiction - showing ourselves compassion and love - I believe we can start to unravel that pain and overcome porn addiction using the proper recovery mindset and lifestyle tools.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

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FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

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No More Desire

What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn?

What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it?

What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. They see a woman, and immediately the lust and fantasizing starts.

I remember exactly what that was like during the years I was addicted to porn.

Many men feel out of control and unable to change the way they think about sexuality, romantic relationships, and women. They feel they have no choice whether they get dragged along by their sexual urges, and so much of what they want to accomplish or become is drowned out by these on-going sexual cravings.

They have a powerful drive to do great things with their lives, but so much of that just doesn’t feel possible with this monkey on their back.

It's difficult to quit porn. Sexual drive is a powerful force, and it can feel exhausting trying to fight it all the time; trying to be a responsible man, husband, and father. Sometimes we might wish we could just turn our sexual attraction off! Flip a switch and make the desires go away.

That’s the same way I felt for many years.

Today, I’ll teach you to stop watching porn by building a recovery mindset that replaces your desire for porn with a new, fulfilling perspective that enables you to love the people around you and yourself. Not in some cheap, boyish way, but in a mature, masculine way.

This perspective takes work. It’s not some freaking magic trick to “quit porn in 30 days” (those are scams). Instead, it’s a practical and psychological approach you can use throughout your day.

Read on to learn how you can grow this recovery mindset and replace your desire for porn with a fresh, new perspective that serves you and your loved ones.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

No More Desire

“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”...

If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar eclipse (or if that’s too generous), today’s episode is for you. Today, we’re going to talk about:

• Reasons your wife isn’t having sex with you (and they’re not what you think).
• Healing the side effects of porn addiction in marriage.
• Gaining compassion for the different challenges you and your spouse are facing.
• Creating sexual and emotional healing in your marriage.

If you want to overcome porn addiction, or if you have a spouse who is addicted to porn, know that you can both develop an amazing relationship together. You are not doomed to this, you are not crazy or horrible, and you can quit porn and live the life of your dreams. It simply requires building a recovery mindset and lifestyle so you can break free of porn.

God bless and much love.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE EPISODES

When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

No More Desire

Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can:

• Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life.
• Feel truly sexually satisfied in the relationship.
• Help his wife feel safe, accepted, and loved.
• Quit porn by building a recovery mindset and lifestyle.

If you’re a spouse of a porn addict, this episode is also for you. You will gain a far deeper understanding of porn addiction, and (I hope) a compassion for your partner who is struggling with it.

You are not alone. You are not crazy. And you can both heal and get better, and I'll give you a path to do this step-by-step in this episode.

Understanding the Impact of Porn Addiction in Marriage

Many men and women are extremely concerned by the effects porn addiction has had on their marriage.

Here are some of the questions and concerns men in my program have had about quitting porn and their marital sexual relationship:

• “I find my wife to be very beautiful. So why do I keep going to porn and masturbation? What’s wrong with me?”
• “Is looking at sexual videos/images of my wife considered porn?”
• “Can having sex with my wife fuel my porn addiction? After all, don’t I want to be ‘addicted’ to my wife? Isn’t that a good thing?”
• “When I have sex with my wife, I feel the addict part of me emerge. This is very discouraging for me. It almost makes me not want to have sex with my wife anymore and risk activating the porn addiction wiring in my brain. What should I do?”
• “My wife says that I want to have sex with her too often. But I’m a man, so I want to have sex more than she does. Isn’t it reasonable for her to accommodate that need and have sex with me a little more often than she might prefer? After all, I am her husband.”
• “I don’t find my wife very attractive. I see that as a major reason for my addiction to porn. If she just [lost some weight, exercised, took better care of herself, dolled herself up, etc.], then I wouldn’t have a need to go to porn.”

We address each of these questions in today's episode.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

Beat Porn Triggers Using the 5-Step System to Overcome Porn Addiction

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

No More Desire

Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?”

In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step system that is simple and easy to apply.

With this 5-step system, you will no longer be confused about how to handle porn triggers because you’ll have a strategy in place every time a trigger comes up. You’ll be prepared with the recovery mindset and lifestyle strategies you need to combat porn cravings and come out victorious.

When you’re taking the first steps to overcome porn addiction, triggers can feel overwhelming. And they come in many different forms, both direct and indirect.

Direct Triggers for Porn Addiction

A direct trigger is anything that is directly sexually arousing.

These triggers can bring feelings of fear when you struggle with porn addiction. Perhaps you become aroused and then you feel afraid that arousal is going to lead you to relapse with porn.

We'll talk about how to combat that.

Indirect Triggers for Porn Addiction

If you’re a bit more advanced in your porn addiction recovery journey, you may already be aware that pornography addiction is not so much about direct triggers as it is about all of the various aspects of your mindset and lifestyle that are adding to your susceptibility to porn addiction.

In other words, there are negative emotions, thought patterns, and beliefs that are fueling your porn addiction, and it is likely that you’ve been experiencing these for some time now.

These mental habits that power porn addiction are often unconscious; you may be completely unaware of them.

Today, I’ll give you my 5-step system that’s part of the recovery mindset and lifestyle you need to stop porn addiction.

Blog Article: Beat Porn Triggers & Overcome Porn Addiction

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

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No More Desire

Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know.

I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends who are trying to quit porn. I’ve also been through my own porn addiction recovery journey. In this article, I pull upon both my professional experience helping others stop porn addiction and my personal experience overcoming porn addiction.

Let me start by saying I believe porn addiction symptoms are far deeper and broader than many of us might think. I’m not just here to talk about the behavior of watching porn. That’s just a tiny part of the whole picture.

When we struggle with porn addiction, there are a plethora of symptoms - psychologically, behaviorally, relationally, physically, and spiritually. It impacts every part of our lives.

If you’re the spouse of someone with a porn addiction, I’m hoping that today's topic can fill you with compassion and understanding for them. And if you listen up and take notes, I believe that this new knowledge will empower you with a deeper and broader perspective of pornography addiction, so that you can better help your loved one.

Symptoms: Correlation vs. Causation

As a quick caveat, these 17 porn addiction signs do not prove that someone has a porn addiction, nor is porn addiction the sole cause of many of these symptoms. Rather, porn addiction can initiate, increase or exacerbate many of these symptoms, but there are always other factors that play a role in their development.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

No More Desire

You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse?

Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality.

During the years I was working to quit porn, I relapsed after a year of sobriety…twice! It was brutally discouraging, but it was not the end for me. I went on to long-term sobriety, which has reached nearly a decade now.

Relapse does not equal failure. It can be a stepping stone towards long-lasting sobriety. But only if you have the right steps in place to deal with the relapse in a way that is psychologically effective. If so, you can use the relapse as a springboard to overcome porn addiction.

If I’m an individual who struggles with pornography addiction, I’m going to have a much easier time quitting porn if I have my spouse in my corner. And for that to happen, I need to build the knowledge and skills necessary to tell my wife about my relapse with pornography in a way that honors both her feelings and mine, and helps her feel I’m that doing what it takes to stop porn addiction.

Today, I’m going to share with you what I call the 4-Pronged Ownership Approach for Porn Relapse, a simple structure to turn relapses into stepping stones for recovery and communicate a slip to your wife, or other family members, in a loving and powerful way that leads to the best outcome for both your sobriety and relationship.

Blog Article: How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain | Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS Principles

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

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The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

No More Desire

If you struggle with porn addiction, it can be a real challenge to figure out why you experience cravings for porn.

A lot of the world will tell you it’s because you crave sex - it’s your natural urges - and you just need to discipline yourself enough to stop watching porn.

That’s not the case. You’re not a man with an overactive sex drive. You’re not lazy. You’re not weird. You’re not a pervert. You’re not bad for dealing with a porn addiction.

You don’t build willpower to overcome porn addiction. Instead, you build a new way of thinking and living - a recovery mindset and a recovery lifestyle.

Today, we’re going to focus deeply on the recovery mindset, specifically, and exactly how this mindset is achieved.

You’re going to learn how to think and process through the thoughts and the emotions that are behind pornography addiction. You’re going to learn how to live the “no more porn” lifestyle by discovering how to talk to yourself about these thoughts and emotions, and how to become deeply aware of thought patterns that feed addiction, so that you can learn how to stop porn addiction by stopping and redirecting those addictive thought patterns.

The process I’m about to teach you is the very same one that I teach to clients across the world in my intensive porn addiction recovery program. And it’s the very same one that I’ve used to quit porn and remain sober for over 9 years now.

This is not about facing and fighting cravings. It’s not about special mental techniques to distract you from cravings or fancy methods to handle triggers. Instead, it is a system of 5 levels - from the surface of conscious thought to the deepest unconscious drivers of porn addiction. And I’m going to show you how to get to those unconscious drivers of addiction, and begin replacing destructive mental habits with productive mental habits.

Blog: Stop Thoughts that Cause Porn Addiction | The 5 Levels of Cognition Behind Cravings

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE EPISODES

Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS Principles | Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

No More Desire