What is the relationship between oxytocin and testosterone?

• The relationship between oxytocin and testosterone.

• Oxytocin and the opioid epidemic.

• What happens when testosterone levels are high and low.

• Women who have high-powered jobs.

Oxytocin and men’s emotional and spiritual development.

• Oxytocin is a social bonding hormone.

• The role of oxytocin in men's relationships.

• The power of holding a baby for 30 seconds.

• The three bridges between relationships.

The double hit of sex.

• Oxytocin and testosterone boost for both partners.

•  Not only people in the honeymoon period should flirt.

• Phenol ethylamine and why it's so hard to pronounce & the key to understanding relationships

• The honeymoon stage and honeymoon drugs.

Falling in love with people who are familiar.

• Falling in love with people who are familiar.

• PEA is sorta like ptsd in reverse.

• Bonding attachment and trauma triggers.

• How to untie yourself from a relationship.

How to boost oxytocin levels.

• Creating a sense of excitement and surprise in a relationship.

• The honeymoon experience again and again.

• There should be a handbook for being in a relationship.

• The four key elements of relationships.

If you are interested in science based relationship approaches to improving hormone and neurotransmitter health, go to Relate.online and find the course The Five Secrets of Relationship Champions.

#new #relationshiphelp #relationships #relate #couples #couplescounseling #Relationshipadvice #testosterone #oxytocin #honeymoon

Three important factors for great date: Visit us at Relate.Online

In this episode Bri and I explore our 2023 Valentine's Day date. For this date I used three important concepts that both improve experience and help increase the connection and Intimacy in the relationship. Great relationships aren't accidents, and for most of us it takes work. The first factor was connecting the date to our honeymoon period. It is during the honeymoon phase of a relationship that things come easy. Right after meeting couples want to connect and there's lots of intense emotions and passion is everywhere. For Valentine's Day I connected Bri’s love of dancing with certain songs we danced to when we first met. Later in the date I reminded her of a specific Elton John song we listened to right when we first met.

The second factor was increasing the sense of excitement. I made the transitions quick, activities varied, and she couldn't guess what I was going to do. This brought her a certain amount of anticipation. Additionally, I did not make any activity overtly sexual. Instead, I planned activities that were intimate, physical, with close proximity, and encouraged sexual tension. This was great because it kept her on her toes.

Third, one of the key challenges of a happy relationship is balancing excitement with a sense of safety. Chaotic, scary relationships are exciting - but for all the wrong reasons! Steven, Relate.Online’s director, is prone to say “the single most important factor for a couple's happiness is the woman's Trust of the man.” Apparently, this comes out of John Gottman's research. It's important to note that before this date, I was sure that our relationship was strong and secure. If you are reading this and you're trying to plan a date when your relationship is struggling, I'd suggest you share the activities with your partner first. That way they get a sense of excitement and safety.

Bonus: After the date, I tidied up, but left the balloons, mask and cards in a visible location. This gave us the benefits of Association. When Bri would see these items it would remind her of the good times. Every night for two weeks, she collected the balloons into the middle of the floor. Then when she was grumpy in the morning, she would kick them around and it would remind her of how good it was.

How to survive a breakup: 

This podcast follows a conversation with Steven Dromgool, director of Relate and Dan Gummo about the emotional challenges of breakups and strategies for managing intense emotions. Contact us if you have any questions or go to Relate.Online.

Breakups can be challenging and emotionally draining for many individuals. For some, they may struggle for several difficult weeks, while others might still find themselves grieving even after three to four years. Throughout this process, it's essential to navigate the emotional turmoil carefully and seek healing.

Why do breakups hurt so bad?

For many individuals, a significant challenge is accepting the reality of a breakup. This struggle is often accompanied by a sense of timelessness; the sensation that the hurt will never end, they will never be in a different space, and they will never feel the same way about someone else as they did for that specific person. You can relate to experiencing all these emotions yourself.

A lot of the difficulty with breakups comes from the way our brains develop during early life. The  bonding brain distorts time and the inability to see beyond the present moment or pain. Simultaneously, this process can activate the fight-or-flight systems in our body or even cause us to freeze.

These responses are considered safety mechanisms by our brains since younger sections correlate being connected to certain people we bond with as essential for our security. This bond develops early in life since infants cannot survive without caregivers. Consequently, our brains can easily fall back into this pattern, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, helplessness, anger, or sadness.

How do emotions affect moving past a breakup?

Often, individuals struggle with managing their emotions, comprehending their boundaries, and expressing feelings such as anger, anxiety, or sadness. Consequently, they may not reach the acceptance phase after a difficult experience of a breakup. Reflecting on your own past breakups and analyzing cycles of denial or bargaining could help you notice your instincts and reactions. Embracing acceptance and committing to letting go of that person is essential for moving forward.

True healing starts when you wholeheartedly accept the situation and commit to letting that person go. Only then can you begin moving on with your life. While it's helpful to possess emotional management skills—such as those a therapist might have—it can still take months of concentrated effort to move past the pain and become open to new experiences and relationships again.

When you find yourself overwhelmed by emotions, it's essential to have a space where you can regain your emotional balance and anchor your thoughts. Instead of attempting to control your feelings, think of them as waves reaching the shore. You may choose to fight against them or learn to surf, embracing the challenge that comes with it. Acknowledging that emotional waves are inevitable can provide a healthier perspective, because emotions are always present and give us important information about ourselves, creating connection and meaning in our lives.

If you resist these emotional tides through avoidance or suppression, you might end up building a wall, similar to houses constructed on the beach that eventually get swept away by the sea. Eventually water seeps in and remains stagnant, it creates an unpleasant experience – much like old towels or trunks that have been soaked in seawater for days. This begins feelings of depression, anxiety and makes it impossible to be emotionally available for someone else.

How can we demystify the issue of sex?

Sex and Pornography addiction is a widespread and growing concern in modern society. Many individuals engage in sexual behavior and consumption of adult material on a regular basis, but these behaviors can sometimes become problematic and have negative consequences on their lives and relationships.

How to tell if you have a sex addiction?

One of the methods by which you can determine whether you have sex addiction is to refrain from it for a period of time, such as giving yourself a 30-day deadline where you will not use pornography or engage in sexual activity.

Why is it difficult to ask for what you want?

Sometimes it's easy to revert to patterns of complacency and passivity, simply allowing events to unfold until they escalate. It is important to bolster this relationship that you're creating together. Adhere to your truth regarding what is effective for me and what is not.

How do sexual behaviors become a problem in a relationship?

In the beginning, there is great sex and getting to know each other. Over time, a longer-term pattern emerges, and emotional intimacy becomes more prominent. For many, this is a challenging frontier. Sex addiction can be a way of trying to manage the difficulty of sharing oneself and making room in a relationship for the other person to be who they are. When a person struggles with intimacy in a committed relationship, sex and pornography addiction can become a problem.

Learning about yourself and your partner:

For many people, this is the most intimate they have ever been with anyone since childhood. As they go through this process, they learn more about themselves. Sometimes, there are natural learning curves to navigate, while other times, potentially problematic behaviors can emerge and cause serious issues.

Shame is the currency of the desperate:

Shame is an emotion that affects our relationships and causes us to hide. Many people struggle with shame when it comes to sex. Our goal is to assist couples in identifying behaviors that both work for them and are problematic for the relationship. Behaviors and desires that are kept hidden often lead to increased problems.

The cure for addiction is connection:

Gabor Mate stated that the cure for addiction is connection. This idea is well established and widely accepted by many people. In some societies, there tends to be a pattern where individuals feel isolated and alone in their struggles. Therefore, it is necessary to work through personal issues with the help of others, as human connection can be an effective means of overcoming addiction. This certainly includes your partner and therapists and recovery programs can be helpful.

The need for connection and comfort:

When we address the drivers of our behavior, we are exposed to deeply human and authentic experiences that foster mental connection between partners. When partners recognize and respond with compassion to these experiences; fears and anxieties are reduced.

This podcast is an introduction to a 6 part course to help couples understand the nature of sex and pornography addiction. If you find the podcast valuable and you want to learn more about how to address unwanted sexual behavior and addiction in your relationship, please go to https://www.relationshipchampions.com/courses/sex_porn

In the course couples will learn:

1. Understanding the difference between addiction and unwanted behavior

2. How the relationship helps the couple to overcome the addiction or unwanted behavior

3. How to manage intense feeling associated with withdrawal and betrayal

Special Guest: David Elliott - Addiction Expert

Guest: Steven Dromgool - Relationship Expert

Host: Dan Gummo

This is the introductory podcast for Relate.Online's course "The Challenge of Being a Man." Our goal of the course is to help men identify a healthy masculine identity, to provide examples and give skills to help men.

This video answers the question: Is it good for men to be emotionally connected?

If you want to see the other 7 conversations, go to Relate.online and search for "The Challenge of Being a Man."

We address the following topics:

What does it mean to be a man?

Men bottling emotions

Connecting with grief

Engaging our full selves

Connecting to Courage

Become a catalyst for change in your community

Helping men to open up

How to deal with anger?