Episodes

  • Confronting Our Mortality Part 1: We Are All Going To Die, So Let’s Learn About It

    Confronting Our Mortality Part 1: We Are All Going To Die, So Let’s Learn About It
    Nov 22 2024
    My life's research on the topics of Human Development and Human Potential culminated in the above framework. It has been nationally recognized for its simplicity and providing a structure for those aspiring to become their full potential. The 3 stages of growth are outlined in the above image. This was the topic of my initial podcasts, providing an overview of the stages to becoming our full potential. We initially come to understand our personality and identify those aspects of self that need to be addressed so that we can survive and then thrive with the everyday roles and responsibilities we have in life. This is the 1st stage of "Personal Growth". The 2nd stage, "Self-Discovery", allows us to take that hard look in the mirror to question who we want to be in this life, along with our beliefs and values that we want to stand for. The 3rd stage, for those called to understand the deeper meaning of life and beyond, and how they fit in, is the 3rd stage of growth, "Enlightenment" or "Self-Transcendence". This podcast is a great follow to my recent series on retirement, which is the stage where we more actively confront death and our own mortality. Here we confront our mortality, an essential ingredient to remind ourselves that time is our precious resource that will indeed run out and becomes our motivation to strive to be all we can be. Only a handful out of every hundred or so individuals muster up the courage and drive to enter the 3rd stage of development. However, everyone will enter this stage as we confront the end of our life, our death. This was captured well in Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' book, "Death: The Final Stage of Growth". Unfortunately our societal attitude towards death is largely avoidance, which limits the most amazing growth opportunity for those dying along with their friends and family. According to Psychology Today: "Whether we like it or not one of the only sure fire things in life is that we are all going die. It is one of the subjects that we in the West are discomforted by, embarrassed about and that many of us avoid and this includes avoiding the people who are experiencing grief or who are dying. We don’t talk about death. We talk about sex, drugs and money. We teach our children about these subjects but we don’t talk about death and dying. Death was so common in the 19th century that it was readily addressed. People wore black if they were in mourning and were treated accordingly. If people were dying they planned their funerals with their family and everyone knew to express their condolences if they came across someone who was bereaved. It seems we’ve got out of the habit and the subject has become taboo." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/handy-hints-for-humans/201703/we-need-to-talk-about-death Is this a key reason that we find so few enlightened individuals here in the US as compared to places like India, where death is not hidden, but instead revered and celebrated? What is the benefit you ask to be talking about death? That we accept it as a part of life and come to understand it so that we can better deal with these times with our loved ones and ultimately our own demise. And with the resources available to us today on this topic, we can find peace, comfort, and even an understanding of death so that we are no longer afraid. This is the ultimate growth we can experience as a part of the Enlightenment stage! I experienced death at a young age when my mother died from cancer when I was only 14. No one helped me to deal with this traumatic ordeal at such a young age. I returned to school only to experience everyone avoiding me. I felt lost and confused. It was an incredibly lonely experience. Years later I was drawn to volunteer opportunities that all shared death in common. I volunteered at a children's oncology camp, as an Emergency Medical Technician on a volunteer ambulance, overseas in areas where mortality rates were very high, and in the most profound experience in all, as a hospice care provider. Another profound opportunity to learn about death came from a close friend being crushed under his truck and pronounced dead on the scene, only to revive once he arrived at the hospital and having a most incredible near-death experience. I began to learn about death from multiple perspectives which healed the pain from my childhood experience and mostly, gave me peace and comfort about death and my own mortality. I wish that everyone could share these experiences and conclusions! Otherwise, our fear of death and our mortality has a profound impact on our life and can hold us back from fully experiencing life and becoming our own full potential. Confronting death can have this profound motivation. In this podcast, I expand on these experiences and what I learned. This will set the stage to begin conversation about death and our mortality from various perspectives to hopefully help you to reconsider death and open yourself to more conversation about ...
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    29 mins
  • The Four Phases of Retirement - Part 2, based on the work of Dr. Riley Moynes.

    The Four Phases of Retirement - Part 2, based on the work of Dr. Riley Moynes.
    Nov 8 2024
    Are you interested in “Squeezing All the Juice Out of Your Retirement?” If so, this Podcast is for YOU!!
    During our last podcast we introduced you to Dr. Riley Moynes and his powerful research on the topic of the Four Phases of Retirement. We covered the first two phases, 1) The Vacation Phase, and 2) Disillusionment. We went from the honeymoon phase of retirement where we were delighted to throw away our alarm clock, travel, and enjoy sitting around and doing nothing. Then after 1-2 years, we enter Phase 2 filled with obstacles and challenges as we grapple with the magnitude of losses we experience, including our identity, structure, and relationships, which provided us with meaning and purpose in our life. In addition to experiencing these losses, we enter what Dr. Riley Moynes calls the 3-D’s, which are frequently experienced in this phase, which are a) Decline, b) Depression, and 3) Divorce.
    These challenges can either take us down or provide the stimulus for finding a solution. We come to grow from this experience. Our quest is to make the most out of this phase of our life by addressing the question, “What can I do to keep getting me up in the morning and discovering what I can do to provide me with meaning, satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment?” We enter Phase 3, that of Rapid Experimentation. Here we experiment with a number of new ideas, from volunteering, to learning a new language, taking an art class, and more. We create a new structure that provides us with new relationships, meaning and purpose. According to Dr. Riley Moynes, only about 65% move through Phases 2 and 3.
    For those that are successful in Phase 3, we then enter Phase 4, where we Reinvent and Rewire. This is the most satisfying phase since we find new meaning and purpose and discover one common element that gets us there.
    Whether you are retired, approaching retirement, or in mid-life where you realize the opportunity to educate yourself on this stage in life to better prepare for it. Sit back and enjoy the education, tips and ideas to squeeze all the juice out of your retirement.
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    29 mins
  • The Four Phases of Retirement based on the work of Dr. Riley Moynes, with guest Heather Orengia

    The Four Phases of Retirement based on the work of Dr. Riley Moynes, with guest Heather Orengia
    Oct 25 2024
    Are you interested in “Squeezing All the Juice Out of Your Retirement?” If so, this Podcast is for YOU!!
    Dr. Moynes had a successful 20-year career as an educator before turning his talents to the financial services sector where he launched and grew a multi-city wealth management firm. He was a recipient of the Dalbar Financial Professional Seal as one of Canada’s most trusted financial advisors. Riley Moynes, now in an active retirement, talks on the topic of The Four Phases of Retirement and what to expect when you are retiring. He shares the good, the bad, and the ugly with sound advice on how to squeeze all the juice out of your retirement. He offers sound advice on how to smooth things out. The advice is dispensed in his descriptions of the four phases of retirement: vacation, loss, experimentation, and the reward.
    Many have found his research and advice to be both relevant and eye-opening. A MUST for those preparing for and entering retirement. Personally, I found his his talks, workshops and commentary PROFOUND and a match to what my own experience entering retirement was like.
    Heather and I continue our focus on retirement and will use this podcast to share the highlights of Dr. Moynes work along with my own experience and how I used his advice to be squeezing all the juice out of my active retirement.
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    29 mins
  • Redefining Our Needs in Retirement. The Art of Self-Discovery using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs with Guest Heather Orengia

    Redefining Our Needs in Retirement. The Art of Self-Discovery using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs with Guest Heather Orengia
    Oct 11 2024
    Our lives change in many ways as we get older. As we move into the different phases of our life (e.g., infant, childhood, early adulthood, adult, and senior citizen, our overall human needs remain the same (e.g., need for security, safegy, belonging, love, esteem, and self actualization), HOWEVER, what these needs entail and focus are different. Our focus here is on the Senior Citizen and Retirement phase. To cover this topic, we will use the infamous model from Abraham Maslow, known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
    Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, a psychological theory proposed by Abraham Maslow, outlines a five-tier model of human needs, typically depicted as a pyramid. The levels, from the bottom to the top, are physiological needs, safety needs, love and belongingness needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. The premise of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is that, in order to meet higher-level needs in Maslow's hierarchy, we must first meet the lower-level needs first. For example, we must have met the basic physiological needs to exist and maintain a level of health and wellness before we can achieve any of the needs above this in the pyramid. For example, If I am not healthy or able to perform the basic human body needs, one is not likely to exist, much less achieve the needs to feel safe, find love, have a healthy self-esteem, etc. The same is true at the top of the pyramid. In order to Self-Actualize, which is characteristic of becoming your full potential, one must have developed their self-esteem.
    Maslow's hierarchy of needs can help with retirement planning by highlighting the importance of meeting basic needs before pursuing other goals. For example, if you want to travel after retirement, you should make sure you have enough money to cover basic needs before you go. Another key example today relates to people living longer, but the key is living longer while maintaining a good to great quality of life. Therefore, part of our planning for retirement should be the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs to stay active and pursuing our self-actualization needs.
    Overall, Maslow's hierarchy helps in understanding the psychological adjustments retirees must navigate. While basic needs persist, the shift in focus toward social connections, self-esteem, and personal growth highlights the need for fulfillment in the later stages of life. Recognizing these needs can guide retirees in creating a fulfilling, balanced retirement experience.
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    29 mins
  • The Emotional Roller-Coaster of Retirement and How To Manage This with Guest Heather Orengia

    The Emotional Roller-Coaster of Retirement and How To Manage This with Guest Heather Orengia
    Sep 27 2024
    In our last podcast we talked about the challenges associated with entering retirement. We shared two models to discuss this: 1) William Bridges Stages of Change to understand the 3 stages and how they relate to retirement, and 2) Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Grief and Loss Model that describes the emotional roller coaster associated with change. This sets the stage for this podcast where we will zoom in and focus on emotions such as Shock & Denial, Anger, and Depression and how they can play out in retirement. Consider the following excerpt from the article, Retirement: From Grief to Growth
    "Most people avoid using the word "retirement" when it comes to their own careers. The reality is that retirement marks a significant life transition, one that is often accompanied by a complex array of emotions. Preparing to leave a career spanning decades can stir up feelings of grief, long before your actual departure. This anticipatory grief is a natural response to the loss of something that has defined a significant part of your life. Gallup has even found that 55% of workers’ identities are tied to their job. The authority, responsibility and routine that you have become accustomed to for many years prior to your retirement can be hard to let go of. When you lose these most fulfilling aspects of your career life as you head into retirement, you will have to find ways to fill the void you’ve left behind."
    This podcast will feature Coach Heather Orengia who will share information on dealing with challenging emotions related to retirement. Michael will share his own experience with entering into retirement relating to the emotional roller coaster relating to challenges such as ageism, divorce, and the loss of identify.
    This discussion relates to anyone experiencing major changes, not just retirement. The win here is understanding the normal and natural emotional response to major changes and the importance of learning how to manage these tough emotions in a healthy manner.

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    29 mins
  • Managing Our Transition into Retirement with Guest Heather Orengia

    Managing Our Transition into Retirement with Guest Heather Orengia
    Sep 13 2024
    As we enter into Retirement we once again realize that there are a number of new challenges we face, just as there were when we entered our earlier stages; adolescent, young adult, adult, and mid-life. Our ability to be adapt effectively and make the most out of each stage is a direct function of educating ourselves on the changes that willl likely occur and how to manage these transitions. For example, as we become a young adult, we must learn how to take responsibility for our lives as we gain independence, develop more serious relationships, manage our own finances, make adult decisions, define our own values and beliefs, and begin to define who and what we want to be in our life. Most primarily learn about each new stage of life using the "School of Hard Knocks" approach which can be daunting and riddled with challenges.
    The same is true of Retirement. However, by educating ourselves on the phases of Retirement and the many types of changes and challenges we are likely to experience, can help us to manage our transition better with more foresight and planning.
    This podcast will share two key frameworks to help you manage your transition into any stage of life, including retirement. The first is understanding change and the stages of change. Change is actually a process and we will use the work of William Bridges and his model of change to learn how to better prepare for, and manage, personal change.
    The second framework relates to the Emotions of Change. Once again there is a process we go through as we experience high level change. We will use the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross to understand the emotions of change.
    We are fortunate once again to have as our guest, Heather Orengia, who is a coach and uses these frameworks to help guide her clients.
    Here is to learning how to make the most out of our retirement!!!
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    29 mins
  • Managing Our Transition into Retirement

    Managing Our Transition into Retirement
    Sep 13 2024
    As we enter into Retirement we once again realize that there are a number of new challenges we face, just as there were when we entered our earlier stages; adolescent, young adult, adult, and mid-life. Our ability to be adapt effectively and make the most out of each stage is a direct function of educating ourselves on the changes that willl likely occur and how to manage these transitions. For example, as we become a young adult, we must learn how to take responsibility for our lives as we gain independence, develop more serious relationships, manage our own finances, make adult decisions, define our own values and beliefs, and begin to define who and what we want to be in our life. Most primarily learn about each new stage of life using the "School of Hard Knocks" approach which can be daunting and riddled with challenges.
    The same is true of Retirement. However, by educating ourselves on the phases of Retirement and the many types of changes and challenges we are likely to experience, can help us to manage our transition better with more foresight and planning.
    This podcast will share two key frameworks to help you manage your transition into any stage of life, including retirement. The first is understanding change and the stages of change. Change is actually a process and we will use the work of William Bridges and his model of change to learn how to better prepare for, and manage, personal change.
    The second framework relates to the Emotions of Change. Once again there is a process we go through as we experience high level change. We will use the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross to understand the emotions of change.
    We are fortunate once again to have as our guest, Heather Orengia, who is a coach and uses these frameworks to help guide her clients.
    Here is to learning how to make the most out of our retirement!!!
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    29 mins
  • Becoming Our Full Potential As We Get Older Getting Older or is it “Getting B-older” with guest Heather Orengia

    Becoming Our Full Potential As We Get Older Getting Older or is it “Getting B-older” with guest Heather Orengia
    Aug 23 2024
    During our working years we dream about the day that we can retire. Our understanding of "retirement" is largely shaped by the billboards showing couples playing golf and traveling the world. Our only focus is on funding our 401K so that we have enough to retire. This however is challenged by having to use our funds marked for retirement to purchase a home, cover medical and other bills, or fund our transition between jobs. "Retirement for boomers is different than it was for their parents in the so-called Silent Generation. Life expectancy has improved, and today’s 65-year-old can expect to live at least another 20 years. About 80% of households with older adults — or 47 million such households — are struggling today with money. And they risk falling into economic insecurity as they age, the National Council on Aging says."
    It is not just finances that challenge us with this thing called retirement. After 40 plus years of working, raising a family, being a soccer Mom or Dad, our identity or how we see ourselves revolves around these roles. Abruptly these come to an end with the onset of an Empty Nest and no longer working. "Retirement can lead to a loss of identity for many people because work can be an important part of who they are, and retirement can take away that sense of purpose and meaning. This can lead to feelings of uncertainty, restlessness, and a lack of purpose."
    Upon entering retirement, which can amount to 1/3 of our life, our excitement can quickly transition into the "3 - D's" as noted by Dr. Riley Moynes, that stand for, "Divorce, Depression and Decline". This was the case for me, and now I have come to realize are common to many of those that I coach. What I realized is that there is a lack of understanding about what retirement really is like, along with the many changes that we experience throughout this time. I found myself back at the beginning of the growth process, having to go through the stages of Personal Growth, Self-discovery, and Enlightenment once again. Our guest talks about the loss of her grandfather shortly after he retired, which can be a direct result of these challenges. We begin to confront our own mortality which can be a daunting task in a society that tends to avoid these conversations.
    Our goal here is to provide a means of education, conversation, and tips to be a guide and inspiration to learn how to prepare for and deal with the major life transition. The good news is that this can be an amazing time and learning how to "squeeze all the juice out of what is left in our life." The key is education, and then applying tools and techniques to help develop a new mindset about our life, and in a way that promotes greater physical, mental, social, and spiritual growth, leading to a happier and more meaningful time, as we define new meaning and purpose.
    Join our conversation that will cover several podcasts as we zoom in on this topic.
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    29 mins