Grab your FREE worksheet and weekly shame-smashing resources at untamedember.kit.com — where every part of you belongs.

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Ever notice that right when things get steamy, your brain turns into a Twitter feed of insecurity? Welcome to the world of parts work, sex edition. In this episode, Dr. Misty dives headfirst into Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and how your inner critic, perfectionist, rebel, caretaker, and shame-burdened exiles all love to crash your sex life.

We’re talking about:

• Why sexual difficulties are rarely about “technique”—and almost always about internal parts fighting for airtime

• How the Performance Manager, Hypervigilant Protector, People-Pleasing Caretaker, and your spicy inner exiles hijack your pleasure

• Specific, actionable strategies to check in with your parts, speak for them, and actually integrate their wisdom instead of letting them run wild

• Neurodivergent masking, sexual spontaneity, and why you might feel disconnected or stuck in performance mode (again)

• Real talk: The parts of you that want connection, the ones that want control, and how to get them working together instead of fighting for the mic

Ready to turn your internal chaos into conscious, embodied pleasure? Listen in, download your worksheet from The Ember Vault, and start negotiating with your inner committee—no shame, no judgment, just radical acceptance.

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Subscribe for weekly resources: untamedember.kit.com
Podcast + show notes at untamedember.com
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#SexTherapy #InternalFamilySystems #PartsWork #SexualHealing #NeurodivergentSex #ShameFreeSex #QueerSexuality #TraumaInformedSex #UntamedEmber #SexualLiberation

• (00:00:00) - The Critic in Your Sex Life
• (00:02:05) - How to Love Your Sexual Life
• (00:02:59) - What Are the Parts of Your Sex Life?
• (00:09:27) - How to Work With Exile Parts in Sex
• (00:14:25) - How to Work With Protective Parts in Sexual Life
• (00:20:51) - Working With Your Parts in Sexual Relationships
• (00:22:08) - Partners Awareness

Get weekly, radical resources and bonus episodes free at untamedember.kit.com — Your pleasure deserves better.

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Ever wondered why your brain is a full “hell yes” but your body suddenly ghosts the moment things heat up? Or why your nervous system sabotages even the sexiest situations? In this no-holds-barred episode, Dr. Misty goes full trauma nerd on the vagus nerve—that misunderstood highway running between your brain, your body, and your ability to actually stay present for pleasure.

We’re not talking about generic “just relax” advice or another meditation app download. We’re hacking your actual sexual nervous system with trauma-informed, neurodivergent-friendly, science-backed strategies. Discover:

• Why your vagus nerve can’t mind its business during sex (and how it becomes an accidental cockblocker)

• How chronic stress, trauma, and neurodivergence set the stage for “nervous system sabotage”

• The real reason arousal sometimes flips to anxiety, shutdown, or sensory overwhelm—and what to do about it

• Practical, immediately usable hacks for vagus nerve stimulation, breathwork, movement, and sensory support before and during sex

• Why the neurodivergent brain needs rituals and “transition time” for pleasure—and how to build them

This episode is for every beautifully complex, neurodivergent, queer, or trauma-impacted human who’s tired of being shamed for their body’s boundaries. Your sexual nervous system isn’t broken—it’s just never been given the tools (or the respect) it deserves. Let’s fix that.

Listen in, reclaim your body’s pleasure wiring, and don’t forget to grab your free worksheet in The Ember Vault.

• (00:00:00) - Introduction: The Mysterious Vagus Nerve
• (00:01:50) - Understanding Vagal Tone and Sexuality
• (00:02:47) - The Role of the Vagus Nerve in Sexual Response
• (00:05:23) - Challenges Faced by Neurodivergent Individuals
• (00:07:02) - Common Patterns of Vagal Dysfunction During Sex
• (00:09:40) - Daily Life and Its Impact on Vagal Tone
• (00:12:20) - Practical Interventions to Improve Vagal Tone
• (00:18:33) - Morgan's Transformation: A Case Study
• (00:21:28) - Specific Techniques for Common Sexual Difficulties
• (00:23:56) - Conclusion: Embracing Your Nervous System

Ever had sex with a partner who was physically present but clearly somewhere else? Welcome to the “What the Fuck Just Happened?” club. This episode is for every partner who’s ever wondered why their neurodivergent, trauma-impacted, or just beautifully complex lover seemed to disappear mid-connection—while their body kept going through the motions.

Dr. Misty (Untamed Ember) breaks down what dissociation really looks like during sex, why it’s not a Yelp review of your skills, and how to create the kind of safety that brings your person back—without pressure, shame, or performance. Learn how to spot the subtle signs, what to do (and NOT do) when it happens, and why real intimacy means honoring nervous system reality, not just consent on paper.

We’re throwing out the toxic scripts about sexual perfection, reclaiming what it means to love someone with trauma, and getting nerdy about co-regulation, nervous system signals, and non-performative presence. Bonus: Grab the partner’s worksheet in The Ember Vault for scripts, rituals, and reflection tools. Listen to the Untamed Ember podcast wherever you get your podcasts, and join The Ember Vault for weekly deep-dive worksheets at untamedember.com.

• (00:00:00) - The Secret to Intimate Sex With a Ghost
• (00:02:10) - This Is What Really Happens During Sex When Your Partner Dissoci
• (00:07:37) - How To Help Your Partner When They're Dissociated
• (00:10:34) - What to Do When Your Partner's Sexual Body Is Distracted
• (00:16:58) - How to Support a Partner Who Dissociates During Sex
• (00:20:21) - How to Support a Trauma Survivor During Sex
• (00:22:21) - How to Love Your Partner's Sexual Dissociation

Get weekly free resources and bonus podcast episodes—sign up for the Untamed Ember newsletter at untamedember.kit.com.

Ever felt like your body was sabotaging you during sex, even when your mind and heart were all-in? In this episode, Dr. Misty unpacks the wild world of somatic therapy and why your body’s “weird” responses are actually wisdom in action—not dysfunction. We’ll break down how shame, trauma, and neurodivergence shape our sexual scripts, and why honoring your authentic needs is the most revolutionary act of all.

This episode covers:

• The science of why bodies freeze, tense, or check out during intimacy (even with safe partners)

• SE, Hakomi, and TRE—somatic tools that let you finally listen to your nervous system (instead of fighting it)

• How to create a personalized “sexual map” so you know exactly what your body needs to feel safe and turned on

• Radical embodiment, embodied consent, and how to build authentic sexual healing without performance, perfection, or shame

Includes real stories, hands-on practices, and that signature Untamed Ember mix of humor, rebellion, and real talk.

Don’t forget: This week’s worksheet, “Your Sexual Somatic Intelligence Map,” is waiting in the Ember Vault at untamedember.com.

You are not broken. Your body is brilliant. And sexual healing starts when you finally learn to speak your body’s language.

#SexTherapy #Somatic #BodyWisdom #NeurodivergentSex #QueerSexEd #TraumaInformed #UntamedEmber

• (00:00:02) - What If Your Body Is the Problem With Sex
• (00:03:09) - Your Body Is Trying to Protect You From Sex
• (00:06:10) - Somatic Experiencing, or SE for short
• (00:09:24) - What Is Haikomi?
• (00:12:12) - TRE: Consent to Move Your Body
• (00:17:29) - The Sexual Practices You Need to Start Using
• (00:24:30) - This Week's Sexual Somatic Intelligence Map
• (00:26:51) - Untamed Women: Misty with

Ever burst into tears during a massage or felt grief bubble up when you’re just trying to sleep? You’re not broken—and you’re definitely not alone. In this episode, Dr. Misty pulls back the curtain on fascia: your body’s secret emotional archivist.

We’ll break down what fascia actually is (think: way sexier than raw chicken), why it hoards every microtrauma and shutdown, and how those mysterious aches, pains, and restless nights are actually your body keeping score. From chronic jaw tension to pelvic floor pain to the sleep-shame spiral, you’ll learn why your “tight hips” are holding old grief, why your jaw’s clenching on unsaid truths, and why stretching just isn’t enough.

Most importantly, we’ll explore erotic rest—not just as self-care, but as an act of radical rebellion and embodied pleasure for trauma-impacted, neurodivergent, and queer bodies. Get practical tools for fascial release (no, not torture with foam rollers), and learn why tenderness—not performance—is your body’s true path to safety, pleasure, and finally, real rest.

Listen in for:

• The real deal on fascia as emotional memory

• How trauma and shame live in connective tissue

• The “fascia-sleep-shame loop” (and how to break it)

• Science-backed, anti-perfectionist tools for reclaiming rest and pleasure

• Why erotic rest is a liberation movement, not a wellness trend

Mentioned: Download this episode’s worksheet, “Mapping the Body’s Bedtime Stories,” exclusively in The Ember Vault. Join at https://untamedember.com/membersworksheets

• (00:00:03) - Why Your Fascia Holds You Back
• (00:04:27) - How Fascia Is the Keeper of Your Emotional History
• (00:09:53) - Fascial Holding Patterns and the Sleep Struggle
• (00:16:12) - How to Rest Your Fascial Tension
• (00:18:58) - Fascial Release for Emotional Unwind
• (00:22:16) - Body's Fascia Memory and Rest

Why does your brain turn into a haunted house the minute you finally feel safe enough to rest? Why do so many trauma-impacted, neurodivergent adults struggle with sleep—even when nothing is “wrong” on the outside? Welcome to Untamed Ember, where Dr. Misty dives headfirst into the Polyvagal Paradox—that infuriating reality where your body refuses to relax, no matter how perfect your sleep hygiene or how many weighted blankets you own.

In this episode, we break down:

• Why sleep is the ultimate act of vulnerability—and why your nervous system might see it as a threat, not a reward

• How trauma, neurodivergence, and chronic stress rewire your body’s ability to rest (and why “just relax” is a setup for shame)

• The difference between “tired but wired” insomnia and emotional collapse sleep—and why you might bounce between both

• The real role of fascia, hypervigilance, and your window of tolerance in sleep struggles (not just “bad habits”)

• How polyvagal theory reveals the secret language of your sleep cycles—plus what “false ventral” looks like at 2AM

• A client story that proves: Your sleep isn’t broken, your nervous system is just a damn good protector

• Radically practical, non-performative tools for reclaiming rest: deep pressure, rocking, Yoga Nidra, body scan journaling, and the lost art of letting your sleep be weird

This isn’t another lecture on blue light and bedtime routines. It’s a rebellious, trauma-informed, neurodivergent-friendly call to stop blaming yourself for sleepless nights and start building genuine nervous system safety—at your own pace, with your own rules.

PLUS: Vault members, don’t forget to grab this week’s worksheet, The Sleep Safety Map, to build your own personalized nervous system plan for rest at https://untamedember.com/membersworksheets And join our FREE newsletter for free weekly resources: untamedember.kit.com

Want more anti-shame, science-backed content?

• Listen to the Untamed Ember podcast wherever you get your podcasts

• Join The Ember Vault for weekly deep-dive worksheets and tools ($5/month)

#polyvagaltheory #trauma #neurodivergent #sleep #nervoussystem #insomnia #rest #healing #cptsd #adhd #autism #untamedember

• (00:00:07) - It's Always 3am Again
• (00:00:49) - How to Sleep When You're Unable to Sleep
• (00:02:15) - Why Sleep Isn't Safe For Some People
• (00:05:36) - Why Your Sleep Isn't Restful
• (00:09:14) - How Neurodivergence Affects Your Sleep
• (00:13:52) - How to Sleep Better With Chronic Insomnia
• (00:17:25) - The Most Ridiculous Part of Sleep Struggles
• (00:18:19) - Why You're Not Safe to Sleep
• (00:21:36) - 5 Ways to Rest Your Body (That Actually Work)
• (00:26:56) - Reclaiming Sleep in Your Nerves
• (00:29:05) - How to Get More Sleep

When someone in authority told you "your body isn't really yours," that messaging didn't just live in your mind—it rewired your nervous system. In this revolutionary episode, Dr. Misty exposes how high-control systems, particularly religious environments, strategically target sexuality as their primary mechanism of control. We dive deep into the neurobiology of religious sexual conditioning, exploring how it creates internal "parts" that continue enforcing these rules long after you've intellectually rejected them. But this isn't just about understanding the damage—it's about liberation. Discover practical, somatic approaches to reclaim your erotic sovereignty, decolonize your nervous system, and develop an embodied sexuality that genuinely belongs to YOU, not to systems that sought to control you. Because your pleasure isn't just personal—it's political resistance against institutions that weaponized shame to maintain power.

• (00:00:02) - Sexual Liberation: The Shadow of High Control Systems
• (00:09:17) - How to Stop Shame Over Your Sexuality
• (00:10:01) - Internal Family Systems: The Protective Parts
• (00:19:22) - Reclaiming Your Sexual Sovereignty
• (00:24:31) - Reclaim Your Body From High Demand Control

Ever wanted sex but found yourself mentally checking out, counting ceiling tiles, or suddenly reorganizing your mental sock drawer instead of feeling pleasure? In this raw, neuroscience-backed episode, Dr. Misty breaks down why your body sometimes hits the emergency eject button during intimacy—even when you enthusiastically consented. Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, we explore how trauma, religious shame, and societal conditioning create nervous system patterns that can override conscious desire. This isn't just theory—you'll get actual, practical, neurodivergent-friendly tools to expand your capacity for staying present during pleasure. Because your disconnect isn't a defect; it's your brilliant body trying to protect you. Time to reclaim your birthright to embodied joy as an act of radical resistance.

https://untamedember.com

• (00:00:00) - Introduction: The Unspoken Disconnect
• (00:01:02) - Understanding the Disconnect: You're Not Broken
• (00:01:37) - Polyvagal Theory: Decoding Your Nervous System
• (00:02:45) - Three Key Insights: Practical Neuroscience
• (00:05:13) - Recognizing Dysregulation: Signs and Symptoms
• (00:11:57) - The Window of Tolerance: Staying Present
• (00:15:51) - Practical Tools: Expanding Your Capacity for Pleasure
• (00:20:54) - Conclusion: Reclaiming Your Birthright to Pleasure
• (00:22:44) - Final Thoughts and Resources