In this episode of 'Untangling Relationships,' hosted by Janae and Penney, the discussion centers around caretaking, part two of a three-part series on caretaking versus caregiving. Key topics include recognizing caretaking behaviors in oneself and others, understanding the motivations and consequences of caretaking, and the impact of blurred boundaries on relationships. The hosts also delve into the importance of holding boundaries, the repercussions of covering up for caretakers, and strategies for changing caretaking dynamics. The episode provides reflections, tips, and the importance of looking at internal validation, all aimed at fostering healthier relationships.

In this episode, Penney and Janae give an introduction to Caretaking and Caregiving in relationships. They explore how these dynamics can lead to conflict and how to recognize what role you might be playing in these relationship dynamics.

Brene Brown -Sympathy vs. empathy youtube video

https://youtu.be/KZBTYViDPlQ?si=P_Id2pggZOxpRxmL

Join Janae and Penney in this episode of 'Untangling Relationships' as they explore the importance of regular relationship check-ins. They discuss how over time, relationships can grow distant as daily demands and other responsibilities take precedence. This episode provides a detailed approach to conducting monthly relationship check-ins, focusing on maintaining intimacy and trust. Key topics include the effects of autopilot mode on relationships, the importance of appreciation and support, and strategies for overcoming conflict. Practical questions and tips for enhancing connection are shared to help couples navigate their relationship journeys.

Relationship Check-in Questions:

1- What ways have you felt appreciated in the past month? Is there a way I can improve in showing appreciation in the coming month

2- Are there any conflicts or concerns we have not addressed in the past month you want to address?

3- How has the level of intimacy been in the past month? Do you need to make any changes

4- How have you felt supported in the past month? Is there anything I can do to show more support?

00:00 Introduction to Untangling Relationships 00:20 The Importance of Relationship Check-Ins 00:39 Challenges in Maintaining Relationships 01:05 Impact of Daily Life on Relationships 02:35 Autopilot Mode in Relationships 03:33 Technology's Role in Relationship Dynamics 05:26 Building and Eroding Trust 06:44 Feeling Unappreciated and Resentment 10:29 New Ventures and Infidelity Risks 12:11 Setting Aside Time for Relationship Check-Ins 16:42 Monthly Relationship Check-In Questions 20:47 Understanding Conflict from Your Partner's Perspective 21:04 The Importance of Vulnerability and Apology 21:17 Effective Communication Techniques 23:01 The Role of Accountability in Conflict Resolution 26:46 Monthly Relationship Check-In Questions 30:24 Reflecting on Intimacy and Support 35:33 Weekly Challenge and Final Thoughts

We are back from our summer break to talk about Attachment Styles. This episode breaks down the different attachment styles you may have and how they may be impacting your relationships. There is lots of self-reflection and introspection to dive into in this episode.

Links mentioned:

Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson

This episode explores personal vulnerabilities, the societal pressures of perfectionism, and the path towards more authentic self-perception and relationships.

Links

Imposter syndrome episode

Brene Brown Empathy vs. Sympathy video

Habits for Wellbeing website

Boundaries and Core Values episode

We asked the AI overlords to summarize this episode, and here's what they said "In the bustling, diverse world of relationships, many couples find themselves striving for a semblance of perfection, embodying the calm and composed duck gliding on the water's surface while concealing the frantic paddling underneath. This phenomenon, known as "Floating Duck Syndrome," encapsulates the hidden struggles that lie beneath seemingly perfect relationships. This edition of "Untangling Relationships" delves into the intricacies of this syndrome from a couple’s perspective, guided by the insightful conversations between Janae and Penney.

Originating from Stanford University, the term "Floating Duck Syndrome" was coined to describe high-achieving students who, on the surface, seemed unphased by their challenges. This analogy extends seamlessly into the realm of relationships, where couples often mask their difficulties to present a veneer of calm and stability. Janae and Penney explore how this syndrome manifests in relationships, revealing the hidden currents of fear, shame, and unspoken conflicts that couples endure."

Embrace Your Own Healing Journey "Untangling Relationships" offers profound insights into the healing process, not just for trauma but for anyone navigating the complexities of emotional growth and relationship dynamics. Janae and Penney’s candid discussion sheds light on the importance of acknowledging the stages of healing, embracing the nonlinear nature of this journey, and continually working towards self-understanding and compassion. As you navigate your own spiral staircase of healing, remember, each step, whether it feels like progress or a setback, is an integral part of your journey towards healing. The conversations between Janae and Penney remind us of the power of openness, mindfulness, and the courage to face ourselves with kindness and compassion.

⁠@dr.han.ren Instagram video

In this mini-episode, we discuss one of the first key components to successful communication- the antidotes to criticism and defensiveness. We explore the importance of positive need statements over criticism and the steps to take accountability and empathy to address defensiveness. We work through examples and encourage you to start applying these skills to various relationships for better communication.

Sign up for round one of our couples communication online course here. Starting April 15th, 2024

https://www.hilltopwellness.net/couples-online-course-landing-page