Funny Fantasy Adventure

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

When you offer therapy to monsters, it’s wise to keep a sword handy. Master swordsman Logan Snow thought trading epic quests for a cozy counseling center would be his happily-ever-after. After all, when you delve into a giant’s dark past or advise an ogre with anger issues, what could go wrong? When a letter arrives bearing the grim news that Logan’s old mentor has been captured by a powerful warlock and imprisoned in his citadel, he must dust off his sword and attempt a desperate rescue. He rallies a group of unlikely heroes including Tressa, an alluring and deadly magician, and ...

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

When half your galaxy is unexpectedly sucked into a black hole - when a hitherto-unknown species of space aliens lays waste to your home planet - when disaster rears its ugly head (or heads) - who can you call for faster-than-light appraisals and best-in-the-multiverse customer service? Just one man - Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent. In this latest chapter of his interstellar exploits, Tom is about to deliver a crushing performance evaluation to Jimmy the Intern when the unimaginable happens: The beloved Wendell the Manatee has been kidnapped!

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

In this Audible Exclusive production, Academy Award® nominee Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl) narrates one of Jane Austen’s most beloved works, Sense and Sensibility. In this timeless tale of misguided romance and heartbreak, two teenage heroines must overcome the pitfalls of Georgian England’s high society in order to achieve the love and happiness they seek. The admiration that Pike has for Austen’s work is shown clearly through this passionate delivery of Austen’s first published novel.

Death by cat and computer wasn't on Sarah's to-do list. Neither was becoming a sentient crystal with a magical debt collector. Software developer Sarah was having a normal, caffeine-fueled day until she tripped over her cat, fell down the stairs, and woke up as an immobile dungeon core in a fantasy world. No body, no coffee, and definitely no customer service number to call about this cosmic mistake. Now she's stuck in a cave with: An immortal fairy guide named Glitz whose idea of "helpful" involves rainbow glitter and passive-aggressive system notifications A tribe of goblins with ...

Will Hanna thought he was on the right track. He got a good job. Bought a nice house. Built a beautiful backyard pool. He spends most of his time at work, sacrificing a social life for corporate advancement, but it's a trade-off his dream home justifies. Until Will loses his job. Suddenly unemployed, Will takes to spending hours on end appreciating the pool he can no longer afford. Day after day, he sits beside it, watching its beautiful ripples as they lull him into a state of blithe indifference, quieting the part of his brain sounding alarm bells. In the midst of ignoring his personal ...

Tempest Michaels has a vampire problem. He’s an old hat at this game and dealing with cases like this are his speciality. Except this time … … the vampires are his clients. When someone starts targeting members of the local vampire Live Action Role Play club, there’s only one person they can think of to turn to – their old nemesis, Tempest Michaels. Unfortunately for Tempest, when he takes the case, he doesn’t realise they automatically assume that means twenty-four-hour protection. All too soon he has vampire wannabes camping on his lawn, he has vampires wannabes sleeping in ...

Kuntar, a young barbarian out of Cumeria, wanders in search of glory, riches, and adventure. Raised in the slave pits of Dorakakakaka, trained from birth as a warrior, and massively endowed with a great … strength. He has but two skills: bringing swift death to enemies, and immense pleasure to women. Ep1. Kuntar and The Crystal Cock Kuntar becomes lost in a magical forest, where lesser men are incapacitated, or disappear. The Cumerian meets a mischievous She-Goblin who promises him a great prize, a priceless crystal phallus…for a cost. Ep 2. Kuntar and The Valley of The Sluts After ...

Can her magic save the world—before his curse destroys it?Shy, awkward Dru never believed she had what it takes to be a true sorceress. That's why she’s been running a little crystal shop on the rough side of Denver, selling potions and charms to the larger-than-life spellcasters who defend the world against the forces of darkness. But when she accidentally touches hands with a dangerously handsome stranger, sparks fly — literally — and he supercharges her crystal magic powers. Ironically, Greyson doesn’t know a thing about magic. But his screaming-fast muscle car is possessed by ...

An alien cat turned me into a superweapon. I was homeless on the streets of Third York when it happened. Then the military arrived and gave me a choice. Enlist or die. The next thing I knew, I was fighting giant robots at the Xenoforce Academy's boot camp. Figuring out superpowers and energy levels was hard enough, but I had to deal with a mind-reading alien princess, a team of gorgeous women, and a femme fatale in charge of the whole operation. Oh, and a galactic conspiracy is threatening all of humanity. It's up to me and my new feline friend to set things right. A civil war's brewing on ...

Seth is down for the count. A strange artifact from another era has surfaced to contest Ace's claim to the elemental battlefield. Tensions rise between factions and the potential of a great calamity lies just around every turn. Life and death hang in the balance in Chaos Incarnate.

One night with a superpowered babe. Alan Star thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world, but fantasy turns into nightmare when a late-night meetup with a heroine turns deadly. To the dismay of the powers-in-charge, Alan has stumbled upon the dirty truth behind the squeaky-clean image of the hero business. Soon, everyone from government black ops to angry superpowered flames want to shut him up. Permanently. With nowhere else to run, Alan escapes to the one place that the heroes won't go: the underground world of a fabled hero-killer. There, he discovers the key to becoming the greatest hero...

Superweapon stud? That's what the doctor ordered. The Beastmasters are dwindling. The Mekanics are growing bolder. Everyone's desperate for the next magic bullet. With no more Chimerics arriving, there's only one way to make more Beastmasters. Me. I'm not against making baby Beastmasters with the hotties on my squad. The problem is that they're not telling me everything. The last time they tried this, things got pretty ugly... All hell's breaking loose. Secrets are spilling left and right. Even my alien cat Zoe can't keep all the facts straight. And everyone wants a piece of me. There's ...

He will need more than bravery to survive what’s coming. Doomed to fight the Dark King, Stone must find the path to save every living soul from the ferocious dark dragons. Together with his friends: Ceres, rambunctious and shrewd, Adler; snide and courageous, and Corvaire; of the legendary knights of Darakan, they must find the new powerful sorceresses— the Majestic Wilds. But they’ll have to be quick— for the warring kings will surely be after them soon. Not to mention King Arken Shadowborn and his own monstrous dragon. Will they be able to find these new Majestic Wilds in time? ...

The Headless Horseman. Everyone knows the legend. That’s all it is, right? When a third headless victim is found on Boston’s streets, Chloe Mayfield is tasked with finding the person behind the crime spree – no one else wants a case this weird. It would be easy to dismiss the murders as nothing more than the random acts of a madman with a cosplay fetish, but when her investigations lead her to the morgue, she comes face to face with an apparition she cannot explain. Throw in the stalker-like attentions of a deranged clown, dangerous interactions with the Salem witches, and an enemy ...

Having the cutest neighbor is a real pain in the neck... Callie is immune to all forms of magic—including the mesmerizing gaze that lets vampires bend humans to their will. That's made her the target of an ancient evil determined to enslave her... or destroy her. Her only hope lies in her mysterious neighbor, Armant. His superhuman strength and piercing intuition captivate her as much as they frighten her. Yet, her bright spirit has ignited a spark within him that he thought had long been extinguished. And Armant has a score to settle with the master vampire that's targeting her. As ...

Prophecy claims the apocalypse is neigh. To prevent a cataclysm, agents from all six factions converge on Gacestone to destroy the Chaos Core and kill its Founder. Meanwhile, in a struggle for potential life-saving power, Seth and his party turn to an ancient structure lying deep beneath the Chaos Dungeon, which doesn't let their expedition go unnoticed. See whether the new Chaos faction thrives or collapses under the pressure of Chaos Overwhelming.

Tempest Michaels has a zombie problem. Crazy people craving human flesh have been appearing without warning in hoards in towns across Kent. He is just as mystified as everyone else, but when the elderly husband of the recent viral internet sensation known as Zombie Granny asks him to prove she is no such thing, he has to take the case. Then outside his office, people start screaming...