Retirement Humor

How much do I need to retire? Can I retire early? What’s the retirement age, anyway? No matter whether you are 25, 65, or any age in between, you probably have questions about retirement and knowing the answers is the key to planning your future. Whether you want to retire as soon as possible or are looking forward to continuing to work in some form for as long as you can, Retirement 101 guides you through each step as you approach this important milestone.

The life of 79-year-old pensioner Peggy Smart is as beige as the décor in her retirement village. Her week revolves around aqua aerobics and appointments with her doctor. Following a very minor traffic accident, things have turned frosty with her grown-up children, and she is afraid they are trying to take away her independence. Noticing her memory isn't what it used to be, Peggy is taking ever more inventive steps to cover up her dwindling faculties.

Stewart Johnson had worked hard his entire life to reach retirement. However, his Golden Years would prove to be more of a challenge than he anticipated after his wife passed away. Seeking to find peace of mind and warmth in Florida, Stewart became surrounded by a tribe of Snowbird residents who took him on a journey of laughter and sleuthing inside a gossip riddled community filled with the humorous dysfunction of overgrown children.

Discover your ideal retirement lifestyle in just a few weeks, even if you've struggled to find the right path until now! Are you worried your newfound freedom may lead to boredom or a lack of purpose? Do you want to stay vibrant and energized in your post-retirement years? You’re not alone. Many retirees face similar fears, but it doesn't have to be that way. Things to Do in Retirement is the ultimate guide to transforming your retirement into the most exciting chapter of your life!

After thirty years of friendship, Pam dreams of her perfect retirement with Nancy, Shalisa, Marlene, and their husbands—until their husbands pool their funds for an investment that goes terribly wrong, and their dreams of beachfront condos and a sunny, carefree retirement vanish. But when one husband dies in a freak accident, the other three women are shocked to see his widow rebound with a huge life insurance payout and a new life in Florida. The women discover that their husbands have identical, seven-figure life insurance policies. A new dream forms, and this time, it involves a hitman.

After stealing some priceless Russian jewels from the Stockholm Auction House, Martha and her gang flee to the small village of Hemmavid to lie low. But what they find is a village in crisis, so they decide they want to help revive the place. But to do so, the village needs money. In steps the League of Pensioners to arrange events to attract paying tourists. Which all turns out to be a rather delicate – and dramatic – balancing act when you are wanted by the police.

Connie Nixon makes a shocking discovery: her youngest daughter, Jessica, now living in New York City, is part owner of a wildly successful sex toy shop. Startled by this knowledge, Connie sets out to reconnect with Jessica and finds herself living the life she's always dreamed about.

Congratulations on reaching that point in life where you can sit back, put your feet up, and enjoy retirement! Just think of it, no more cares, no more hurry and...no more paychecks! Yikes! The first day of retirement is an exciting time. You get to sleep in until noon, then sit around in your pajamas all day. There are lots of soap operas to catch up on and then of course all those small jobs around the house you’ve been putting off for years. That was always the plan, right? But the reality is you’ll still get up at 7 a.m. every morning, looking in the mirror and wonder what to do with yourself.

So you just gave notice at the job you have worked almost your entire life that you have decided to retire. But until your last day, the excitement has deterred you from thinking how you would like to spend the remaining time you have here in this lifetime. If you begin to think negatively about what your retirement may have to offer you, then you have come to the right place. Retirement should not be seen as a stage of life that lacks in luster. It should be a time that is seen as positive, uplifting, inspiring, and adventurous.

Retirement can be a jungle of decision-making. Acclaimed personal finance author Noel Whittaker will help guide you. What sort of assets to invest in? How long will your money last? Is downsizing right for you? How much should you spend now, and how much would you like to leave to your kids? This book will be your guide for the rest of your life. In the simple style for which Noel is renowned, the book covers all the above topics and many more. It will become your indispensable guide on what we hope will be a happy, healthy, and prosperous retirement.

We've all had times we wanted to give up. To throw in the towel. To make a break and get away from everything. The exact breaking point and how we handled it is different for all of us. For Jordan Lewis, a rebellious teen struggling with his parents' impending divorce and a breakup of his own, that point comes when he gets suspended from school and dumped on his irascible grandfather, Charlie Kalb. For Charlie, a wily widower who hasn't had anything to look forward to in years except attending the final game at Yankee Stadium, it comes when his driving buddy suffers a stroke, his trip to ...

Laying out the nine common hazards that trip up otherwise well-prepared retirees to encourage you to think through your decisions and set a course aligned with your values and your ultimate goals, Retirement Fail helps you identify potential pitfalls and teaches how to safeguard your hard-earned retirement assets. Contrary to what most people think, it is not poor portfolio performance that usually busts your retirement accounts. Rather, it's the emotional decisions you make that can cause major problems.

Plan for a financially successful retirement even if you haven't started saving, don't have a plan, or don't know where to start. Have you ever wondered if you'll have enough money saved when it comes time to retire? Do you fear that you won't be able to retire or that you'll have to keep some type of job after you retire? If so then this book is for you.

George Hall doesn't understand the modern obsession with talking about everything. 'The secret of contentment, George felt, lay in ignoring many things completely.' Some things in life, however, cannot be ignored. At 57, George is settling down to a comfortable retirement, building a shed in his garden, reading historical novels, listening to a bit of light jazz.

Dreaming of a vibrant retirement? Say goodbye to stereotypes and embrace a life filled with adventure and fulfillment!

After a debilitating stroke, Balmy Knight moves in with her daughter’s family. As she begins to recover her health, she misses her independence. Finding her days full of tedious boredom, Balmy uses mischievous antics to add excitement to her life. Her only joy comes from disobeying her daughter’s rules, aggravating her son-in-law, and feeding buttermilk biscuits to Jake, the homeless guy who lives in a cardboard box. Life becomes complicated when Balmy’s old friend, Sunny Day—from her Broadway-performing days in the Sixties—arrives from Hollywood and invites her to share her ...

Retirement: The Best Is Yet to Come provides the retirement roadmap for the time of your life! What is the secret to a successful retirement? Tom shares 25 bold steps to a happy, positive, fulfilled, and engaged retirement.

Penny Rush has problems. Freshly divorced from her mobile knife-sharpener husband, she has returned home to Santa Barbara to deal with her grandfather, who is being moved into a retirement home by his cruel second wife. Her grandmother, meanwhile, has been found in possession of a sinister sounding weapon called ‘the scintilltor’ and something even worse in her woodshed. Penny’s parents have been missing in the Australian outback for many years now, and so Penny must deal with this spiralling family crisis alone. Enter The Dog of the North.

Our book, Fun Things to Do in Retirement provides a comprehensive guide to retirement planning. From understanding retirement to staying busy in retirement, our book covers all the topics you need to know.

The life of 79-year-old pensioner Peggy Smart is as beige as the décor in her retirement village. Her week revolves around aqua aerobics and appointments with her doctor. The highlight of Peggy's day is watching her neighbour Brian head out for his morning swim. Peggy dreams of inviting the handsome widower to an intimate dinner. But why would an educated man like Brian, a chartered accountant no less, look twice at Peggy? As a woman of a certain age, she fears she has become invisible, even to men in their 80s.