All I Could Bare
My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
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Narrated by:
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Craig Seymour
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By:
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Craig Seymour
About this listen
A frank, funny, and inspiring memoir about how stripping helped a college professor discover his true self.
I felt that I'd made a transformation as surely as Superman slipping out of a phone booth or Wonder Woman doing a sunburst spin. I was bare-ass in a room of paying strangers: a stripper. After years of wondering what it would be like, I had done it - faced a fear, defied expectation, embraced a taboo self. It was only the beginning....
All I Could Bare is the story of a mild-mannered graduate student who "took the road less clothed". Seymour embarked on his journey in the 1990s, when Washington, D.C.'s gay club scene was notoriously no-holds-barred, all the while trying to keep his newfound vocation a secret from his parents and maintain a relationship with his boyfriend, Seth. Along the way he met some unforgettable characters - the 50-year-old divorcé who's obsessed with a 21-year-old dancer, the celebrated drag diva who hailed from a small town in rural Virginia, and the many straight guys who were "gay for pay". Seymour gives us both the highs (money, adoration, camaraderie) and the lows (an ill-fated attempt at prostitution, a humiliating porn audition).
Ultimately coming clean about his secret identity, Seymour breaks through taboos and makes his way from booty-baring stripper to PhD-bearing academic, taking a detour into celebrity journalism and memorably crossing paths with Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, and Mary J. Blige along the way. Hilarious, insightful, and touching, All I Could Bare proves that sometimes the "wrong decision" can lead to the right place.
©2008 Craig Seymour (P)2012 Craig SeymourListeners also enjoyed...
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creepy escape room story
- By Barbara S on 11-18-21
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self
- By: Danielle Evans
- Narrated by: Daniel Deadwyler, Jeanette Illidge, Je Nie Fleming, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Striking in their emotional immediacy, the stories in Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self are based in a world where inequality is reality but where the insecurities of adolescence and young adulthood, and the tensions within family and the community, are sometimes the biggest complicating forces in one's sense of identity and the choices one makes.
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things we do to oursekves
- By Jamintel on 02-06-23
By: Danielle Evans
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Harley Loco
- A Memoir of Hard Living, Hair, and Post-Punk from the Middle East to the Lower East Side
- By: Rayya Elias
- Narrated by: Christina Delaine
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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When she was 7, Rayya Elias and her family fled the political conflict in their native Syria, settling in Detroit. Bullied in school and caught between the world of her traditional family and her tough American classmates, she rebelled early. Elias moved to New York City to become a musician and kept herself afloat with an uncommon talent for cutting hair. At the height of the punk movement, life on the Lower East Side was full of adventure, creative inspiration, and temptation.
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What an amazing woman.
- By Canaan Voss on 06-12-24
By: Rayya Elias
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Game Changer
- Game Changers Series, Book 1
- By: Rachel Reid
- Narrated by: Tor Thom
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Admirals captain Scott Hunter takes his pregame rituals very seriously. In this case, it's not just a lucky smoothie he's craving - it's the man who made it. Pro hockey star Scott Hunter knows a good thing when he sees it. So, when a smoothie made by juice bar barista Kip Grady precedes Scott breaking his on-ice slump, he's desperate to recreate the magic...and to get to know the sexy, funny guy behind the counter.
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Tor for the Score
- By Delicious on 10-29-19
By: Rachel Reid
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Scars and Stilettos - 2nd Edition
- By: Harmony Dust
- Narrated by: Harmony Dust
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Scars and Stilettos: At 13, after being abandoned by her mother one summer and left to take care of her younger brother, Harmony becomes susceptible to a relationship that turns out to be toxic, abusive, and ultimately exploitative. She eventually finds herself working in a strip club at the age of 19, and her boyfriend becomes her pimp, controlling her every move and taking all of her money. Ultimately, she discovers a path to freedom and a whole new life.
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A religious book
- By Amazonbuyer on 10-12-21
By: Harmony Dust
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Baby, Don't Hurt Me
- Stories and Scars from Saturday Night Live
- By: Chris Kattan
- Narrated by: Chris Kattan
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Chris Kattan has defied comparison, expectations, and sometimes gravity with his inimitable style of physical comedy. By creating some of the most memorable Saturday Night Live characters, as well as his many roles in film and television, Kattan has remained one of the most fearless and versatile comedians in the world. Now, for the first time, Kattan opens up about eight seasons on SNL, performing alongside friends and future legends including Will Ferrell, Jimmy Fallon, and Tina Fey, and guest hosts from Charlize Theron to Tom Hanks to David Bowie.
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Funny and complex.
- By Anna Jennings on 05-15-19
By: Chris Kattan
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The Chris Farley Show
- A Biography in Three Acts
- By: Tom Farley, Tanner Colby
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, L. J. Ganser, Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
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Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
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The Baddest Bitch in the Room
- (Explicit Version)
- By: Sophia Chang
- Narrated by: Sophia Chang
- Length: 8 hrs
- Original Recording
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Sophia Chang is a badass of the music industry. As the daughter of Korean immigrants in predominantly white suburban Vancouver, she grew up shunning the “model minority” myth. Armed with a fierce sense of independence, she moved to New York City and infiltrated the world of hip-hop, yet remained mostly in the shadows of the artists she supported. With her debut memoir, Sophia Chang is finally ready to grab the mic for herself.
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Something in the music spoke to me...
- By Tina G. on 09-30-19
By: Sophia Chang
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Face It
- By: Georgette Kaplan
- Narrated by: Anastasia Watley
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In college, Elizabeth Smile shared a magical tryst with her roommate, Michelle Harlow. She had no idea the night would leave Elizabeth pining after her for the next ten years. Now Michelle is back with a strange offer: Will she pretend to be Michelle's lesbian lover to beat Michelle's cheating husband?
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Give it a chance—brilliant!
- By Meredith on 01-22-23
By: Georgette Kaplan
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Horizons
- Horizons Series, Book 1
- By: Mickie B. Ashling
- Narrated by: John Solo
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Twenty-three-year-old Clark Stevens, a popular wide receiver with a potential NFL contract, has a few problems. He's got a jealous girlfriend, a narrow-minded and controlling father, an attention problem, and an unexpected and powerful attraction to the trauma doctor - the male trauma doctor - who treats him for a broken bone.
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Interesting OFY
- By Morgan A Skye on 11-22-15
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Meet Me in the Bathroom
- Rebirth and Rock and Roll in New York City 2001-2011
- By: Lizzy Goodman
- Narrated by: Charlie Thurston, Nicol Zanzarella
- Length: 19 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In the second half of the 20th century New York was the source of new sounds, including the Greenwich Village folk scene, punk and new wave, and hip-hop. But as the end of the millennium neared, cutting-edge bands began emerging from Seattle, Austin, and London, pushing New York further from the epicenter. The behemoth music industry, too, found itself in free fall, under siege from technology. Then 9/11/2001 plunged the country into a state of uncertainty and war.
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Deeply disappointing.
- By ChicagoRob on 01-18-20
By: Lizzy Goodman
What listeners say about All I Could Bare
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mark Regiec
- 06-05-17
Delightful book!!
What made the experience of listening to All I Could Bare the most enjoyable?
Craig did a great job narrating this book. Bought this book on whim, and glad I did.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
It made me laugh several times, it also had a upbeat tone, so there was no sadness.
It gave me good perspective on life. Don't live in fear, and if you want to do something try it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jerry Richard
- 12-05-21
So fun!
At times hilarious and at times heartbreaking, this was a "read" that was totally worth it!
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- Joseph
- 07-14-13
Entertaining and Enlightening
If you could sum up All I Could Bare in three words, what would they be?
Narcissism to the hilt.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Seth. The only character in the story that had his feet on the ground.
Which scene was your favorite?
When Seth dumped Craig. You go boy!
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No. Listened in the car. Small doses were better.
Any additional comments?
Amazing listening to someone who actually thinks nothing of taking advantage of others to reach thier own goals while expecting thier attention, admiration and positive reinforcement. It was a real insight into the mindset of such people and their relentless climb to emptyness. I felt empathy for most of the people in the story. Craig seemed to have less perception of the direction to happieness at the end than he did in the beginnig of the book. I kept listening with the hope for the start of a "happily ever after" story.On the lighter side, it brought back memories of the times I had been to The Follies and it was fun to get a back of the house perception.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Aaron
- 10-02-12
Delightful book
A well written, and entertaining book. Craig's voice really made the book come to life.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Author Guy
- 08-29-12
A Fun, Racy Ride!!!
Sexy, funny, and moving. And it's great to hear it in the writer's own voice.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Bri
- 01-07-18
Where should I start? I loved this story!
Such a great ride with the narrator! Very good performance by Craig! I was so amazed by this! Thank you.
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- tom4seattle
- 09-13-23
Filled with tedious cliches and stereotypes
The most interesting part was the description of the strip club environment in DC. Appreciate his willingness to share his story as a kind, needy and whiny person trying to “figure himself out”. Hopefully he’s made progress on that front.
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