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Survival of the Thickest
Essays
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Narrated by:
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Michelle Buteau
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By:
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Michelle Buteau
About this listen
*Now a comedy series on Netflix!*
From the stand-up comedian, actress, and host beloved for her cheeky swagger, unique voice, and unapologetic frankness comes a book of “zesty and hilarious” (Publishers Weekly) essays for fans of Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling and We’re Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union.
If you’ve watched television or movies in the past couple of years, you’ve seen Michelle Buteau. With scene-stealing roles in Always Be My Maybe, First Wives Club, Someone Great, Russian Doll, and Tales of the City; a reality TV show and breakthrough stand-up specials, including her headlining show Welcome to Buteaupia on Netflix; and two podcasts (Late Night Whenever and Adulting), Michelle’s star is on the rise. You’d be forgiven for thinking the road to success—or adulthood or financial stability or self-acceptance or marriage or motherhood—has been easy, but you’d be wrong.
Now, in Survival of the Thickest, Michelle reflects on growing up Caribbean, Catholic, and thick in New Jersey, going to college in Miami (where everyone smells like pineapple), her many friendship and dating disasters, working as a newsroom editor during 9/11, getting started in stand-up opening for male strippers, marrying into her husband’s Dutch family, IVF and surrogacy, motherhood, chosen family, and what it feels like to have a full heart, tight jeans, and stardom finally in her grasp.
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Drinking and Tweeting
- And Other Brandi Blunders
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, but the lovable housewife also shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles.
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Who edited this?
- By Jessica on 11-02-20
By: Brandi Glanville, and others
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
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Harley Loco
- A Memoir of Hard Living, Hair, and Post-Punk from the Middle East to the Lower East Side
- By: Rayya Elias
- Narrated by: Christina Delaine
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When she was 7, Rayya Elias and her family fled the political conflict in their native Syria, settling in Detroit. Bullied in school and caught between the world of her traditional family and her tough American classmates, she rebelled early. Elias moved to New York City to become a musician and kept herself afloat with an uncommon talent for cutting hair. At the height of the punk movement, life on the Lower East Side was full of adventure, creative inspiration, and temptation.
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What an amazing woman.
- By Canaan Voss on 06-12-24
By: Rayya Elias
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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Off with My Head
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- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
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Overall
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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Every Day I'm Hustling
- By: Vivica A. Fox, Kevin Carr O'Leary
- Narrated by: Vivica A. Fox
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Vivica A. Fox is a dynamo who has created a lasting career on her own, through sheer, roll-up-your-sleeves DIY hustle. Every Day I'm Hustling is a personal book with a message Fox passionately believes in: that you make your own luck, that you never ever wake up in the morning thinking somebody's going to call you and offer you that part or ask you out on that date that's going to change your life, that you have to wake up and put on your longest eyelashes and fiercest heels and go out and make your life happen yourself.
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Loved it!
- By colette on 04-09-18
By: Vivica A. Fox, and others
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- By: Amber Tozer
- Narrated by: Amber Tozer
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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Author's voice unbearable
- By Kylee on 12-09-16
By: Amber Tozer
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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While on a drive in Los Angeles, on a seemingly average afternoon, Kerry Washington received a text message that would send her on a life-changing journey of self-discovery. In an instant, her very identity was torn apart, with everything she thought she knew about herself thrown into question.
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Hey you guys, it’s Leslie. I’m excited to share my story with you. Now, I’m gonna be honest: Some of the details might be vague because a b*tch is fifty-five and she’s smoked a ton of weed. But while bits might be a touch hazy, I can promise you the underlying truth is REAL.
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“Can I kiss you?” It was two months before the world premiere of Juno, and Elliot Page was in his first ever queer bar. The hot summer air hung heavy around him as he looked at her. And then it happened. In front of everyone. A previously unfathomable experience. Here he was on the precipice of discovering himself as a queer person, as a trans person. Getting closer to his desires, his dreams, himself, without the repression he’d carried for so long. But for Elliot, two steps forward had always come with one step back.
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This took courage and determination
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Julia Fox is famous for many things: her captivating acting, such as her breakout role in the film Uncut Gems; her trendsetting style, including bleached eyebrows, exaggerated eyeshadow, and cutout dresses; her mastery of social media, where she entertains and educates her millions of followers. But all these share the trait for which she is most famous: unabashedly and unapologetically being herself. This commitment to authenticity has never been more on display than in Down the Drain. With writing that is both eloquent and accessible, Fox recounts her turbulent path to cultural supremacy.
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Zero Character Growth.
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In The House of Hidden Meanings, RuPaul strips away all artifice and recounts the story of his life with breathtaking clarity and tenderness, bringing his signature wisdom and wit to his own biography. From his early years growing up as a queer Black kid in San Diego navigating complex relationships with his absent father and temperamental mother, RuPaul excavates his own biography life-story, uncovering new truths and insights in his personal history.
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Engrossing story
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The Light We Carry
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There may be no tidy solutions or pithy answers to life’s big challenges, but Michelle Obama believes that we can all locate and lean on a set of tools to help us better navigate change and remain steady within flux. In The Light We Carry, she opens a frank and honest dialogue with listeners, considering the questions many of us wrestle with: How do we build enduring and honest relationships? How can we discover strength and community inside our differences? What tools do we use to address feelings of self-doubt or helplessness? What do we do when it all starts to feel like too much?
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Very Disappointing—Too Ego-filled
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What listeners say about Survival of the Thickest
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- Maryka Lier
- 01-01-21
Hilarious, Warm-hearted, Irreverent
A wonderful listen and loved hearing it in Michelle’s voice. If you love her stand-up comedy, you’ll love hearing her in this medium. She’s is amazing in the wacky, funny moments and shines in the personal, vulnerable moments. I laughed, I cried, I renewed my commitment to flossing.
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- MWH
- 01-02-22
Was enjoyable, or something like that
I found it to be an likeable read, entertaining and Insightful. Was not my cup of tea, but I liked the taste.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sara Benincasa
- 12-15-20
Fantastic, moving, heartfelt
I did not expect to get emotional during this book but I cried a couple of times! It’s very funny but her performance is also vulnerable and compassionate.
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- Jade Buttweiler
- 01-07-21
Get Your Ear Holes Ready for a Ride:)
Kept me smiling throughout:) Love Michelle and I am inspired by her journey. She is not afraid to tell you it was not all sunshine.
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- Kindle Customer
- 12-18-20
YUPpppp
Ya mad, or wat? I'm so feeling this. The only things I didn't agree with was Michael & Bill. But WTF. That's your truth , feelings AND YOUR BOOK!! HURRAY! IT WAS AWESOME! And? What's next? That's the Caribbean in me, in case your missing some seasoning .... juggling family et. al. . This book is all that AND MORE than a bag of great chips. BUY, BUY BUY...no sell ( NYSE). ok, well...CONGRATULATIONS on this book and I loved you (&Amy) in "You'll Always Be My Maybe".
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- Anonymous User
- 01-03-21
I'm in love!
This gorgeous, fiery, shameless woman is everything I want to be when I get older. She's fearless, hilarious, and doesn't apologize for being exactly who she is. Well done Michelle.
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- D
- 11-04-22
uplifting
Loved hearing her story and how she presented it. was engaging from start to finish
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- Anonymous User
- 05-02-24
A must read!
Let me tell you, I have been a fan of her stand up forever, and after hearing her story in her voice, I love her even more! Not to mention the fact, that her mother-in-law is named Yohanna and so am I and so was my oma, Her husband is dutch and so is my mum. I love her and her husband's love story a day thier journey to parenthood. Definitely worth reading
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- BarBelle
- 09-06-24
Love the candor!
This is a must listen for all women! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, & you’ll definitely have a great time. Thank you, Michelle for this wonderful book.
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- Mary Morten
- 09-20-21
Michelle is very, very funny!!
I actually listened to this audiobook in a very methodical manner to savor it.
Liked it so much going to see her live performance in New York!o
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1 person found this helpful