Preview
  • Tough Titties

  • On Living Your Best Life When You're the F-ing Worst
  • By: Laura Belgray
  • Narrated by: Laura Belgray
  • Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (73 ratings)

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Tough Titties

By: Laura Belgray
Narrated by: Laura Belgray
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Publisher's summary

Discover a brutally honest, hilarious, and relatable account of being a late bloomer on the dating scene, trying to master adulthood, and embracing your inner dork: "a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you" (Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author).

What does it take to grow up cool and popular, master adulthood, fast track your success, and always be your best? Laura Belgray wouldn’t know.

Her wildly relatable coming-of-age stories include hate-following her 6th grade bully on social media decades later; moving home post-college to measure her self-worth in hookups with Upper West Side bartenders; dating a sociopathic man-baby; proving herself in the early ‘90s at New York’s coolest magazine (as the world’s worst intern); falling for get-rich-quick schemes on the Internet; and, most of all, saying “tough titties” to the supposed-to’s in life: driving a car, being on time, handing in your paperwork, learning to roast a chicken, and having kids.

Peppered with cutting insights on our confusing, self-helpy culture that calls hair removal “self care” and tells us to give our 110% but also to give zero f*cks, Tough Titties will leave you feeling better about, well, everything. Let’s face it: we’re all tired of shame-spiraling after being told what to do when we know we’re not going to do any of it.

Tough Titties is one big permission slip to be a dork, a sometimes-unspiritual slacker, a late bloomer and, ultimately, 100% yourself. It’ll also have you snort-laughing in public and tapping whoever’s nearby to say, “Lemme read you one more part!” Which is annoying, but tough titties.

“Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She’s got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life’s most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you.” — Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable

©2022 Laura Belgray (P)2022 Hachette Books
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Editorial Review

A hilarious, irreverent, and empowering memoir
First off, I laughed out loud from start to finish through this delightfully TMI listen. Laura Belgray’s debut is like if David Sedaris took it up a notch—and shared a lot more stories about oral sex. But it’s also strangely uplifting. I love stories about women self-actualizing—unapologetically being their whole selves and reaching for their full potential. This memoir is up that alley, with detours down some darker and more hilarious alleys. Belgray, a copywriter born and bred in Manhattan, is a proud late bloomer who churned through a lot of bad jobs and bad boyfriends to finally find the life she’d been feeling around in the dark for the whole time. And she has blessed us with this brutally honest, irreverent account of how she got there. It’s a reminder that life is about figuring out who you are on your own terms and your own timetable—and that a woman who doesn’t make apologies for herself is an empowering thing to behold. But please note that this listen is worth your time for the “chin wobble” story alone. —Phoebe N., Audible Editor

What listeners say about Tough Titties

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Loved loved loved….if you want good comic but heartwarming memoir and storytelling from talented accomplished writer this is it

I’ve listen to hundreds of audiobooks and podcasts. But this one immediately was a must listen when released. It is written and narrated by the supremely funny, and talented TV writer Laura Belgray. I’ve had the pleasure to follow her career and work and she has always had flare and star power in the entertainment organization and with all her endeavors. She has never lost that star power to this day. In fact it only grew brighter. Her recent first book release is proof of that. If you like comedic, engaging, smart, tell it like it is memoirs, stories of success and just great storytelling…then this should be your next book or listen. Not because I am familiar with her work but because it it IS fabulous work. Listen to her narrate it. You won’t be disappointed. ..Bravo Laura!

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TMI to the win!

So honest, it makes you feel uncomfortable of how much you recognize yourself in it.
Enthusiastically written, with brilliant graphic-like references you feel you’re watching a movie. Performed with the same hilarious honesty-so glad I got the audio version!

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This book had me laughing out loud 🤣 on my morning walk!

I’m so happy this audiobook was read by the author, because she is so hilarious! Great delivery!! There’s one part in the book where she’s describing an experience she had as a 14-year-old and, I swear, she sounds like she’s 14. It’s so good and so funny!!

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Funny and so relatable

Had me literally LOLing at the gym. Well done and read by the author. So many good callbacks you’ll wonder if you’re listening to a memoir or a standup special.

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Loved every minute!

The perfect blend of wild nostalgic stories and encouragement to be yourself, it was fun from page one. I wasn’t familiar with Laura before I picked the book based on title alone, but now I’m OBSESSED.

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Help Me Without Trying to Help Me

A collection of laugh out loud, warts and all stories I found so relatable that I wished I'd heard them years ago. The author makes clear this is not a self help book and that's true, it isn't at all. But maybe you could call it an in-spite-of-itself-help book, because I genuinely feel the better for having read it and I'm so happy I did. The author did a fantastic job reading too, not just her own voice but also her characterizations and accents for others in the book. Along with the occasional sound effects, it made for what I would call an enhanced audiobook experience. I highly recommend this hilarious, entertainingly wise book.

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Hilariously raw

Thanks for reminding us that we don’t need to follow a timeline or compare our paths to others’.
But ya sure did make me feel relieved about how far behind I feel every day !

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Light, funny and relatable

Loved this book, it’s writing style and clear simple language that conveyed complex messages and life lessons. I binged it in two days! 😀 Highly recommending.

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Awesome book

Very relatable. I loved your book. So many life nuggets and love your humor. I saw your interview with Marie Forleo (love her too) and had to get your book. Great title.

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Just what I needed

Thank Laura, this book was a gift for my soul. The whole story about “you don’t have to be perfect, you just just have to be honest”… or better yet, just be you. Thank you!

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