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Tough Titties
- On Living Your Best Life When You're the F-ing Worst
- Narrated by: Laura Belgray
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
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Publisher's summary
Discover a brutally honest, hilarious, and relatable account of being a late bloomer on the dating scene, trying to master adulthood, and embracing your inner dork: "a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you" (Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author).
What does it take to grow up cool and popular, master adulthood, fast track your success, and always be your best? Laura Belgray wouldn’t know.
Her wildly relatable coming-of-age stories include hate-following her 6th grade bully on social media decades later; moving home post-college to measure her self-worth in hookups with Upper West Side bartenders; dating a sociopathic man-baby; proving herself in the early ‘90s at New York’s coolest magazine (as the world’s worst intern); falling for get-rich-quick schemes on the Internet; and, most of all, saying “tough titties” to the supposed-to’s in life: driving a car, being on time, handing in your paperwork, learning to roast a chicken, and having kids.
Peppered with cutting insights on our confusing, self-helpy culture that calls hair removal “self care” and tells us to give our 110% but also to give zero f*cks, Tough Titties will leave you feeling better about, well, everything. Let’s face it: we’re all tired of shame-spiraling after being told what to do when we know we’re not going to do any of it.
Tough Titties is one big permission slip to be a dork, a sometimes-unspiritual slacker, a late bloomer and, ultimately, 100% yourself. It’ll also have you snort-laughing in public and tapping whoever’s nearby to say, “Lemme read you one more part!” Which is annoying, but tough titties.
“Nobody makes me laugh like Laura Belgray. She’s got a one-of-a kind knack for taking the shame out of life’s most humiliating moments. Tough Titties is a hilarious, must-read permission slip to be 100% you.” — Marie Forleo, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything is Figureoutable
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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Better Than Chocolate
- By: Sheila Roberts
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Sweet Dreams Chocolate Company has been in the Sterling family for generations, ever since Great-Grandma Rose literally dreamed up her first fabulous recipe. But now it looks as if they're about to lose Sweet Dreams to the bank - and that would be a disaster, not only for the family but for the town of Icicle Falls, Washington. Can Samantha, the oldest daughter and new head of the company, come up with a way to save it? After Samantha does some brainstorming with her mother and sisters, inspiration strikes.
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No consent!
- By R. Hernandez on 10-01-19
By: Sheila Roberts
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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It Had to Be You
- A Novel
- By: Georgia Clark
- Narrated by: Danny Campbell, Feodor Chin, Frankie Corzo, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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For the past 20 years, Liv and Eliot Goldenhorn have run In Love in New York, Brooklyn’s beloved wedding-planning business. When Eliot dies unexpectedly, he even more unexpectedly leaves half of the business to his younger, blonder girlfriend, Savannah. Liv and Savannah are not a match made in heaven, to say the least. But what starts as a personal and professional nightmare transforms into something even savvy, cynical Liv Goldenhorn couldn’t begin to imagine.
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Distractingly bad narration
- By maggie walsh on 05-12-21
By: Georgia Clark
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Every Day I'm Hustling
- By: Vivica A. Fox, Kevin Carr O'Leary
- Narrated by: Vivica A. Fox
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Vivica A. Fox is a dynamo who has created a lasting career on her own, through sheer, roll-up-your-sleeves DIY hustle. Every Day I'm Hustling is a personal book with a message Fox passionately believes in: that you make your own luck, that you never ever wake up in the morning thinking somebody's going to call you and offer you that part or ask you out on that date that's going to change your life, that you have to wake up and put on your longest eyelashes and fiercest heels and go out and make your life happen yourself.
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Loved it!
- By colette on 04-09-18
By: Vivica A. Fox, and others
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Stay Gold
- By: Tobly McSmith
- Narrated by: Theo Germaine, Phoebe Strole
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Pony plans to fly under the radar this year. Tired of getting too much attention at his old school after coming out as transgender, he’s hoping for a fresh start as a Hillcrest High senior. But it’s hard to live your best life with the threat of exposure lurking around every corner. Georgia is beginning to think there’s more to life than cheerleading. She just wants to keep a low profile until graduation...which is why she promised herself that dating is a nonstarter for the foreseeable future.
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Must Read
- By Khoula on 08-17-20
By: Tobly McSmith
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Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
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One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
What listeners say about Tough Titties
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- musicgirl
- 07-03-23
Loved loved loved….if you want good comic but heartwarming memoir and storytelling from talented accomplished writer this is it
I’ve listen to hundreds of audiobooks and podcasts. But this one immediately was a must listen when released. It is written and narrated by the supremely funny, and talented TV writer Laura Belgray. I’ve had the pleasure to follow her career and work and she has always had flare and star power in the entertainment organization and with all her endeavors. She has never lost that star power to this day. In fact it only grew brighter. Her recent first book release is proof of that. If you like comedic, engaging, smart, tell it like it is memoirs, stories of success and just great storytelling…then this should be your next book or listen. Not because I am familiar with her work but because it it IS fabulous work. Listen to her narrate it. You won’t be disappointed. ..Bravo Laura!
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- Monicka Clio Sakki
- 06-15-23
TMI to the win!
So honest, it makes you feel uncomfortable of how much you recognize yourself in it.
Enthusiastically written, with brilliant graphic-like references you feel you’re watching a movie. Performed with the same hilarious honesty-so glad I got the audio version!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Christine K.
- 06-14-23
This book had me laughing out loud 🤣 on my morning walk!
I’m so happy this audiobook was read by the author, because she is so hilarious! Great delivery!! There’s one part in the book where she’s describing an experience she had as a 14-year-old and, I swear, she sounds like she’s 14. It’s so good and so funny!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- jess
- 07-03-23
Funny and so relatable
Had me literally LOLing at the gym. Well done and read by the author. So many good callbacks you’ll wonder if you’re listening to a memoir or a standup special.
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- Meg Tietz
- 06-23-23
Loved every minute!
The perfect blend of wild nostalgic stories and encouragement to be yourself, it was fun from page one. I wasn’t familiar with Laura before I picked the book based on title alone, but now I’m OBSESSED.
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- Nonya Bizness
- 06-17-23
Help Me Without Trying to Help Me
A collection of laugh out loud, warts and all stories I found so relatable that I wished I'd heard them years ago. The author makes clear this is not a self help book and that's true, it isn't at all. But maybe you could call it an in-spite-of-itself-help book, because I genuinely feel the better for having read it and I'm so happy I did. The author did a fantastic job reading too, not just her own voice but also her characterizations and accents for others in the book. Along with the occasional sound effects, it made for what I would call an enhanced audiobook experience. I highly recommend this hilarious, entertainingly wise book.
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- JANE C. ALZATE
- 01-17-24
Hilariously raw
Thanks for reminding us that we don’t need to follow a timeline or compare our paths to others’.
But ya sure did make me feel relieved about how far behind I feel every day !
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- Iveta Madarova
- 04-24-24
Light, funny and relatable
Loved this book, it’s writing style and clear simple language that conveyed complex messages and life lessons. I binged it in two days! 😀 Highly recommending.
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- Sandra
- 07-09-23
Awesome book
Very relatable. I loved your book. So many life nuggets and love your humor. I saw your interview with Marie Forleo (love her too) and had to get your book. Great title.
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- Paola Ramos
- 06-22-23
Just what I needed
Thank Laura, this book was a gift for my soul. The whole story about “you don’t have to be perfect, you just just have to be honest”… or better yet, just be you. Thank you!
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