F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy Audiobook By Lance Lansdale cover art

F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy

Murder Daddy, Book 1

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F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy

By: Lance Lansdale
Narrated by: Kevin Earlywine
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About this listen

SCOTTY

My boyfriend’s been trying to kill me for weeks. Well, I guess he's my boyfriend. I mean, we've never officially been introduced, but he's always standing in the shadows, watching me. That has to be a good sign, right? The first time I saw him, he was hunched down in my bushes, aiming a rifle at my heart, and he's turned up with a new weapon every night since. As fun as our silly little game of Murder Daddy may be, I’m getting tired of having to steal my stalker-slash-boyfriend’s affection by disarming him and using his weapons against him.

BRODY

I’ve got to get my head in the game. As my agency’s top assassin, I’ve killed my fair share of men. When Senator Levinson placed his son on my hitlist, I figured it would be a one-and-done. I was wrong. Every time our paths cross, he winds up getting the upper hand. The things he makes me do once he’s pried a gun or a knife out of my hand are downright depraved, and for some reason, I can't bring myself to stop it from happening. My wife tells me I need to just suck it up and get the job done. My wife’s boyfriend says I’m sweet on the guy, which is absolutely ridiculous. Even if I wanted to take advantage of our open marriage, I’m not gay. This man—this Freakshow—is completely unhinged, and the worst part is, I think I might be just as crazy as him.

F**ck, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy is a high-heat, over-the-top, absolutely UNHINGED, dual-POV, dark romcom that is equal parts insta-love and insta-lust. While one character is married, their marriage is open, and there's no cheating between them.

©2024 Lance Lansdale (P)2025 Lance Lansdale
Marriage
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Unhinged Humor • Witty Banter • Perfect Narration • Entertaining Storyline • Phenomenal Performance • Hilarious Delivery
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I absolutely loved this story in all its unhinged glory! This was my first book by this author & narrator as well! The narrator matched the story really well and went all in! I Highly recommend this story it was very enjoyable and I will be listening to it again I’m sure. I cannot wait for more in this series to be on audio! I’m so excited for the next book. Definitely a outlandish & really fun story.

These two are the unhinged version of “Match My Freak”!

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A HILLARIOUS AND WITTY AUDIOBOOK!

I love and adore this so very much! I was having a blast listening to this audiobook.

Awesome!!

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This audiobook was everything I wanted and more, the narrator could not have been any better and perfect to voice Scotty! I’ve read this twice but hearing every bit of this just hit so much harder!

Unhinged perfection!

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But I loved every second of it! I loved this book when I read it and it's even better with Kevin's narration. He does an excellent job for both Brody's and Scotty's voice.

Soooo crazy!!

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“Who knew murder kink was a fetish?”

“I love how I don’t know if I want to **** you or k*** you. You make me just as crazy as you, and I don’t want it to stop.”

Narrator Kevin Earlywine is absolute PERFECTION! I can't imagine anyone else as Scotty & Brody.

This is one of the most fun books I’ve ever read in my life! It’s hilarious & over the top ridiculous! And underneath all of that silliness, is a rollercoaster of FEELS! There is so much love & care & mending of heartbreaking emotional trauma. I’m absolutely in love w/ Brody & Scotty aka Daddy & Freakshow!

I don’t want to spoil much, but I gotta say that their game of Murder Daddy to break down each other’s walls of fear is PRICELESS!

This was my first Lance Lansdale book and I've been HOOKED ever since! I seriously had the best time reading.

PERFECTION!

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Okay, so I LOVED this book! I mean love, loved it! Like my one true love, loved it! (Sorry, baby!) So when I saw the audio, I HAD to get it. I don't normally listen to the audio for books I have read, but I couldn't resist. I also started it while I'm in the middle of another book that I am listening to, but again, I couldn't resist! I am soooo happy I have no self restraint because I'm walking around my boring office giggling at things no one else can hear. Do they think I'm crazy? Probably! Do I care? Absolutely not!

This is my first Kevin Earlywine book and I am addicted!!! He is the PERFECT Scotty!

Thanks, Lance and Scotty! You have made my Thursday. :)

If I could give this 1000 stars, I would!

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I haven’t laughed this much from a book in a long time. These two are a match made in hell! Both
unhinged, deranged, and psychotic.

Recently listened to the audiobook version and laughed even harder! The narrator did a phenomenal job bringing Scotty and Brody to life and matched them perfectly in my mind. Parts that originally gave me belly laugh when reading had me HYSTERICAL while listening! I can never recommend this book enough! Hope book 2 gets an audiobook as well!

Hilariously Unhinged

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Is the humor in this book a bit deranged? Probably. But I laughed out loud from beginning to end.

Are the main characters unhinged? Definitely. Yet, they are so ridiculously adorable, I fell in love with them. They each have their issues, but they support each other entirely and without judgment.

If you do have issues with DUBCON this might not be your jam, but while things start out as DUBCON, the consent becomes clear in the end (at least to me.)

Barb is #lifegoals!

My only issue is with the narration, Brody and Scotty sounded too alike for me, so I’d get confused about whose POV I was listening to, but thankfully I had read the book already.

Unhinged in the best way

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While this book is a huge departure from We Burn Beautiful and The Househusbands Guide to Domestic Bliss, it still what has already become the telltale marks of Lance Landsdale for me: the way the couples interact and banter with each other, they all have somewhat of a lack of filter, and are all so unapologetically themselves. Plus genuine connections, both emotional and physical (but dang the spice is KICKED UP in this one!)

Scotty is absolutely unhinged in the most endearing way, and as twisted as his obsession is, I couldn’t help but root for him and his happiness from the first page.

And Daddy/Brody… aww Brody. So desperately confused and conflicted as he stumbles his way through this bi-awakening and new obsession.

FMK Me, Daddy is absolutely the dark rom-com that will have you laughing out loud, getting hot under the collar, and all up in your feels. Plus the not so subtle (iykyk) hits about the next book, which is also gonna be fun!

Kevin did an awesome job with the narration, especially for Scotty! Love when a rereading/listen is still a 5⭐️ read!

Fan-friggin-tastic!

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Have you ever just been sitting and watching the classic family fun film — Serial Mom — and while enjoying it, you think, “I really like this… But I wish everyone was a guy… and all those guys liked other guys. And that juror with white shoes should be a brainless twink?” No?

Well… Not that the stories are similar, but just saying, if John Waters ever got ahold of this book, I 100% guarantee the movie version of this book would find a very comfortable home, nestled between his copies of Pink Flamingos and Serial Mom.

Soooo… What’s it about? Oh dear. I can’t really tell you. Not because I’m afraid of spoiling anything. I literally… Can’t tell you. You can’t really explain Scotty. You can only experience him. Like an adorable, clueless, southern tornado – he stupidly and mindlessly tears through the story, wrecking everyone’s defenses, their own sense of self, and sanity, leaving them wondering how they got so… wet.

No… Sorry — you can read the plot, but you won’t “get it” until you experience it for yourself. And if you do, and decide you don’t like it? Well… You’re wrong. And while that’s allowed, it would be best for the global community if you don’t procreate. The world is already too humorless. We need to cut through the tension of darker times with the same precision we’d use to cut Scotty’s brake lines.

BTW - not enough stories explore ballbusting, and it's lovely this delightful, but lesser known kink get's it's own scene!

Giving Serious “Serial Mom” Vibes

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