
F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy
Murder Daddy, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Kevin Earlywine
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By:
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Lance Lansdale
About this listen
SCOTTY
My boyfriend’s been trying to kill me for weeks. Well, I guess he's my boyfriend. I mean, we've never officially been introduced, but he's always standing in the shadows, watching me. That has to be a good sign, right? The first time I saw him, he was hunched down in my bushes, aiming a rifle at my heart, and he's turned up with a new weapon every night since. As fun as our silly little game of Murder Daddy may be, I’m getting tired of having to steal my stalker-slash-boyfriend’s affection by disarming him and using his weapons against him.
BRODY
I’ve got to get my head in the game. As my agency’s top assassin, I’ve killed my fair share of men. When Senator Levinson placed his son on my hitlist, I figured it would be a one-and-done. I was wrong. Every time our paths cross, he winds up getting the upper hand. The things he makes me do once he’s pried a gun or a knife out of my hand are downright depraved, and for some reason, I can't bring myself to stop it from happening. My wife tells me I need to just suck it up and get the job done. My wife’s boyfriend says I’m sweet on the guy, which is absolutely ridiculous. Even if I wanted to take advantage of our open marriage, I’m not gay. This man—this Freakshow—is completely unhinged, and the worst part is, I think I might be just as crazy as him.
F**ck, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy is a high-heat, over-the-top, absolutely UNHINGED, dual-POV, dark romcom that is equal parts insta-love and insta-lust. While one character is married, their marriage is open, and there's no cheating between them.
©2024 Lance Lansdale (P)2025 Lance LansdaleListeners also enjoyed...
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A Simple Mistake
- Deadly Mistakes, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Weirdly, people don’t react overly well when you’re caught standing over the dead body of a murderer who’d walked free. It’s not that I thought my fellow homicide detective would rejoice when he saw what I’d done, but is a pat on the back too much to ask for? Maybe a gold star at the very least? The problem is that the person who caught me is Gabriel, the only person I care for and adore… and he’s prepared to look the other way if I leave homicide and promise to never kill again.
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Character personality and narration
- By Bookbabe on 05-18-25
By: Alice Winters
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Iced Out
- Leighton U, Book 1
- By: CE Ricci
- Narrated by: Christian Fox, Liam DiCosimo
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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My path to success never included an enemy as a teammate, especially one as infuriating as Quinton de Haas. Clawing under my skin is his favorite pastime, only feeding the animosity between us as the years pass. We’re as completely opposite as two people can be; the golden boy and the black sheep. Constantly at odds or at each other’s throats. The only thing we can agree on is hockey is our true love, and we’ll do whatever it takes to come out on top. I never imagined that drive would lead me to do the unthinkable: falling into bed with my not-so-straight rival.
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This story, this audiobook, this CASTING!! OUTSTANDING!!!
- By Tiffany on 08-03-23
By: CE Ricci
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Sweet Like Whiskey
- The Darling Brothers, Book 1
- By: Emmy Sanders
- Narrated by: Kale Williams
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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If there’s one thing I don’t need upsetting my quiet and comfortable routine in the small town of Darling, Montana, it’s newcomer Ash Alcott crash landing on my family’s ranch like some sort of blonde angel. I don’t need his flirting. Or his smile. I don’t need the way he makes me question whether or not I’m truly happy being alone at forty. I certainly don’t need to be giving him riding lessons or appreciating the meals he cooks for the ranch.
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Sweet and swoony, excellent narration
- By JBenoit on 05-19-25
By: Emmy Sanders
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Savage
- Park Avenue Kings, Book 1
- By: Brooke Blaine, Ella Frank
- Narrated by: Sean Masters, Liam DiCosimo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Who are we? Nobody really knows. We’re seven powerful heirs to empires, ruling Manhattan from our thrones on Park Avenue. By day, we’re the elite, untouchable, and more connected than you could ever imagine. By night, we revel in the darkness of our secrets, pulling strings that make the city bow to our whims.
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Loved this!
- By Hannah Pecoraro on 05-16-25
By: Brooke Blaine, and others
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Chokehold
- By: Leigh Rivers, Harleigh Beck
- Narrated by: Devon Ryder, Harley Chase
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
They're supposed to be enemies. It takes one night with a masked man to change that all. They crave the next touch of the person they hate the most. Desperate for that next taste of the person they can't stand. Waiting for that anonymous text message to accelerate their heartbeats. The thrill of the chase with the forbidden fruit is enough to blur the lines and the world around them. The first problem? They both have girlfriends. The worst problem? They're stepbrothers.
By: Leigh Rivers, and others
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Wreaking Havoc
- Demon Bound, Book 1
- By: Grae Bryan
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sascha has always felt powerless, the weak baby of a cruel family. But that’s fine. He has his looks, his ample allowance, and a smattering of one-night stands to keep him busy. But when Sascha’s oldest brother offends the wrong people, Sascha finds himself in hiding with a target on his back. And when poking around in his temporary home leads to accidentally summoning the hottest demon Sascha could ever imagine, he has to ask himself: does he want to feel powerless anymore?
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I loved this one!
- By Rachel Emily on 05-09-25
By: Grae Bryan
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How to Hack a Hellhound
- Hellhounds of Paradise Falls, Book 2
- By: Shannon Mae
- Narrated by: Iggy Toma, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Getting kidnapped and held hostage in a human trafficker's basement was not on my bingo card. Getting rescued by a paranormal being was also not on my bingo card. (Apparently, I needed to trade in bingo cards.) The guy who took me may be dead, but I know there are more people behind the operation, and I plan to shut it down. If I need to get the help of one of the creepy glowing-eyed dudes to do it, I will. It turns out Liam is incredibly sexy and really good with technology, too. He may be great at hacking into computers, but I'm determined to hack my way into his life.
By: Shannon Mae
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Jonah and the Narwhal
- Land and Sea: A Shifter Series, Book 1
- By: Vinni George
- Narrated by: Declan Winters
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Jonah Steele hung a flyer in the local coffee shop advertising his services as a housekeeper, he didn’t expect the town’s hot doctor to hire him on the spot. He definitely didn’t think he’d still be working for the mysterious older alpha two years later. But something about Dr. Pictou keeps Jonah returning to the big house on the cliff, a bone-deep longing he can’t explain—and recently, it’s been making Jonah crave the good doctor in ways he shouldn’t.
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Loved
- By zaxmom on 04-04-25
By: Vinni George
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Pretty Boy
- The Boys of Apartment 13, Book 1
- By: Brianna Flores
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese, Iggy Toma
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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My newest obsession is nothing like any of my past hookups. A perma-scowl and general leave-me-alone attitude? Yeah, that's the kind of thing I usually stay away from. But the most shocking part about all of this is that the person who's got me all out of whack . . . isn't a girl. Bash is a six-foot-four-tatted personal trainer who seems to want nothing to do with me. Until I'm naked, that is. As soon as I'm dressed, he's more than ready to say goodbye. But if there's one thing getting a taste of Sebastian Crawford has taught me, it's that one taste just isn't enough.
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amazing
- By Caroline Graham on 05-08-25
By: Brianna Flores
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You're Not My King!
- An Extra! Extraterrestrial Standalone
- By: Eryn Hawk
- Narrated by: Darcy Stark, Zane Daniels
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Throwing myself in front of my estranged sister didn't win me any brownie points. It did, however, grant me one alien abduction and a cozy cell on an actual-freaking-spaceship, where I'm being poked and prepped for relocation to some backwater trading planet, then sold to the highest bidder—how's that for a hero's reward?
By: Eryn Hawk
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The Stargazers of Copper County
- By: May Archer
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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There’s nothing wrong with admiring a work of art, or so I tell myself…even when the admiring is more like peeping out my bedroom window, and the work of art is the shirtless, sweaty, body of the man who’s been mowing my lawn once a week every summer for years.
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More please?
- By Bradly J. Gray on 03-31-25
By: May Archer
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Heist of Hearts
- A Novella Collection
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Nefarious Nights: Aiden, who protects a crime lord, ends up trading banter and kisses with the man he’s supposed to kill. Never Have I Ever Ridden a Bike: Owen’s penchant for opening packages propels him and his best friend (and hopeless crush) Lance into a race against time… and a pantsless bicycle ride?
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Laugh so hard
- By monchari on 05-18-25
By: Alice Winters
These two are the unhinged version of “Match My Freak”!
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unhinged, deranged, and psychotic.
Recently listened to the audiobook version and laughed even harder! The narrator did a phenomenal job bringing Scotty and Brody to life and matched them perfectly in my mind. Parts that originally gave me belly laugh when reading had me HYSTERICAL while listening! I can never recommend this book enough! Hope book 2 gets an audiobook as well!
Hilariously Unhinged
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Listener received this title free
I love and adore this so very much! I was having a blast listening to this audiobook.
Awesome!!
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Unhinged perfection!
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Listener received this title free
Scotty is absolutely unhinged in the most endearing way, and as twisted as his obsession is, I couldn’t help but root for him and his happiness from the first page.
And Daddy/Brody… aww Brody. So desperately confused and conflicted as he stumbles his way through this bi-awakening and new obsession.
FMK Me, Daddy is absolutely the dark rom-com that will have you laughing out loud, getting hot under the collar, and all up in your feels. Plus the not so subtle (iykyk) hits about the next book, which is also gonna be fun!
Kevin did an awesome job with the narration, especially for Scotty! Love when a rereading/listen is still a 5⭐️ read!
Fan-friggin-tastic!
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Are the main characters unhinged? Definitely. Yet, they are so ridiculously adorable, I fell in love with them. They each have their issues, but they support each other entirely and without judgment.
If you do have issues with DUBCON this might not be your jam, but while things start out as DUBCON, the consent becomes clear in the end (at least to me.)
Barb is #lifegoals!
My only issue is with the narration, Brody and Scotty sounded too alike for me, so I’d get confused about whose POV I was listening to, but thankfully I had read the book already.
Unhinged in the best way
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Listener received this title free
Soooo crazy!!
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Listener received this title free
“I love how I don’t know if I want to **** you or k*** you. You make me just as crazy as you, and I don’t want it to stop.”
Narrator Kevin Earlywine is absolute PERFECTION! I can't imagine anyone else as Scotty & Brody.
This is one of the most fun books I’ve ever read in my life! It’s hilarious & over the top ridiculous! And underneath all of that silliness, is a rollercoaster of FEELS! There is so much love & care & mending of heartbreaking emotional trauma. I’m absolutely in love w/ Brody & Scotty aka Daddy & Freakshow!
I don’t want to spoil much, but I gotta say that their game of Murder Daddy to break down each other’s walls of fear is PRICELESS!
This was my first Lance Lansdale book and I've been HOOKED ever since! I seriously had the best time reading.
PERFECTION!
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I absolutely adore this story and was so excited it came out in audio.
Scotty and Brody are so unhinged and hilarious.
Fee cracks me up, especially at the end with her exhibition. She just gives no f’s.
You’re introduced to Tatum and Abi who book two is about.
If you want unhinged characters with humor and great side characters this book is it.
Unhinged Scotty and Brody are The Best
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This book was NOTHING like I expected and somehow everything I didn’t even know I needed?? Absolute menace energy. Now the hard part: do I wait (horrible idea) for the rest to become audiobooks, or do I eyeball devour the series immediately? Because there’s no version of reality where I’m not finishing. I’m too far gone.
Also, this was my first time listening to this narrator and WHY was he such a perfect little menace?? His delivery, the snark, the way he leaned all the way into the madness—I couldn’t stop laughing. It was like he grabbed the book’s unhinged vibes by the throat and just ran with it. I hit play and boom, it was over in a blur of smut, murder plans, and Scotty being my new emotional support chaos goblin.
I need more Scotty in my life, immediately. No notes.
Perfectly unhinged fun
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