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A Dirty Guide to a Clean Home
Housekeeping Hacks You Can't Live Without
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Narrated by:
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Melissa Dilkes Pateras
About this listen
Everything you need to know about laundry, cleaning, and basic home repairs—from the TikTok star who made bluing a thing, showed you how to fold a fitted sheet, and taught you to properly use your (caulk) gun.
“[Melissa Pateras] makes chores enjoyable in her bawdy debut. . . . Doing laundry has never sounded so fun.”—Publishers Weekly
Melissa Dilkes Pateras is the most competent housekeeper, DIY-project master, and home repair genius that you’ve ever fantasized about becoming. When she followed her kids on to TikTok, she discovered a community hungry for her approachable, tongue-in-cheek advice on everything from balls—dryer balls, that is—to why color-coded closets are a spiritual experience. She doesn’t expect you to know what you were never taught, and she doesn’t care about transforming your home into a minimal, beige Instagram post; she simply wants to help make your life easier.
Can housekeeping be fun?
Whether you’re terrified of your laundry pile or have an inner handyperson who’s been longing for their moment, A Dirty Guide to a Clean Home is a joyful all-purpose guide to organizing, cleaning, laundry, repairs, and beyond. As Melissa says, “Your home shouldn’t be your adversary.”
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Melissa Dilkes Pateras and Carla Sosenko (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Pateras, who dispenses housekeeping tips on TikTok, makes chores enjoyable in her bawdy debut. . . . The plentiful tips are often surprising. . . . Other ‘hacks’ are simple yet clever. . . . Throughout, Pateras’s ribald humor animates the advice (‘I love balls . . . in my dryer,’ she writes on preferring dryer balls to dryer sheets). Doing laundry has never sounded so fun."—Publishers Weekly
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It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life. Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center."
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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The MANipulator manual. Keep your man interested and begging for more without playing games. So many women get in trouble in their love lives, and 99.9 percent of that trouble could have been avoided if they'd said "Well, f**k him!" a bit more often. Too many women are way too nice and compliant to their men, especially when these men don't deserve that kind of treatment. I, as a dating coach and author of books for women who want to get men, cannot take it anymore.
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...
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Are you ready to unlock the greatest resource of your life? Gabby Bernstein has written the ultimate self-help guide, offering a revolutionary practice to radically shift your core beliefs and connect you to an infallible inner guidance system: the energy of Self within you. In this groundbreaking book, Gabby demystifies the power of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, taking its life-changing teachings out of the therapist’s office and into your everyday life.
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Self Serving
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What listeners say about A Dirty Guide to a Clean Home
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- S. Hunt
- 04-12-24
So much insight
Great book for anyone interested in taking good care of themselves as well as the environment they surround themselves in.
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- Casey Higgins
- 08-25-24
Humorous and Helpful
Super helpful for keeping (a better) house, and plenty of little snickers and giggles along the way.
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- Heather
- 09-07-24
Couldn't get past the judgmental introduction
I'm not even kidding. I was so sad to start listening to the book only to hear so much judgment from someone I really liked prior to this.
The author is talking about those cheesy signs people have in their homes, and starts talking sh!t about the one that says "Please excuse the mess, we're making memories." She says "I hate that sign. It's the worst quote ever. 'Please excuse the mess, we're making memories?' No you're not, at least not good ones. You're living in chaos and those are the memories you're making. I hate the idea that you can't be making memories while also keeping a neat home."
I quit listening right there. I hate the idea that anything other than her definition of neat and tidy is considered by her to be "chaos." I've followed this writer for a few years now, and I was SHOCKED at how judgmental that is. For every child she claims is living in "chaos," there are kids who are living in "neat" homes and the parents are more obsessed with keeping things clean than being there for their kid. That doesn't mean I think that everyone who keeps a neat home is that way.
Someone living in a home that isn't perfectly neat and clean every second isn't "chaos" and I'm sad that this author decided to start her book this way.
I'm really sad that this is how she decided to start her book. So judgmental and just flat inaccurate.
Melissa, people can have a little bit of mess and not have it be "chaos" and creating "bad memories."
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