A Slap in the Face
Why Insults Hurt - And Why They Shouldn't
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Narrated by:
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Johnny Heller
About this listen
Insults are part of the fabric of daily life. But why do we insult each other? Why do insults cause us such pain? Can we do anything to prevent or lessen this pain? Most importantly, how can we overcome our inclination to insult others?
In A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them. He examines not just memorable zingers, such as Elizabeth Bowen's description of Aldous Huxley as "The stupid person's idea of a clever person", but subtle insults as well, such as when someone insults us by reporting the insulting things others have said about us: "I never read bad reviews about myself," wrote entertainer Oscar Levant, "because my best friends invariably tell me about them." Irvine also considers the role insults play in our society: They can be used to cement relations, as when a woman playfully teases her husband, or to enforce a social hierarchy, as when a boss publicly berates an employee.
He goes on to investigate the many ways society has tried to deal with insults - by adopting codes of politeness, for example, and outlawing hate speech - but concludes that the best way to deal with insults is to immunize ourselves against them: We need to transform ourselves in the manner recommended by Stoic philosophers. We should, more precisely, become insult pacifists, trying hard not to insult others and laughing off their attempts to insult us.
A rousing follow-up to A Guide to the Good Life, A Slap in the Face will interest anyone who's ever delivered an insult or felt the sting of one-in other words, everyone.
©2013 William B. Irvine (P)2018 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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In The Upside of Your Dark Side, two pioneering researchers in the field of psychology show that while mindfulness, kindness, and positivity can take us far, they cannot take us all the way. Sometimes, they can even hold us back. Emotions like anger, anxiety, or doubt might be uncomfortable, but it turns out that they are also incredibly useful.
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Boring and learned nothing
- By Taryn on 07-25-16
By: Todd Kashdan, and others
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The Curse of the Good Girl
- Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
- By: Rachel Simmons
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Rachel Simmons is a New York Times best-selling author and the founding director of the Girls' Leadership Institute. The Curse of the Good Girl looks into the phenomenon of the glass ceiling placed on girls who attempt to live up to the standard of being "good". Simmons then shows how parents can help build girls' self-esteem and give them the strength to pursue their goals.
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Best book for mom's of daughters that I have read
- By Wendy on 05-20-10
By: Rachel Simmons
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The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead
- Dos and Don'ts of Right Behavior, Tough Thinking, Clear Writing, and Living a Good Life
- By: Charles Murray
- Narrated by: Charles Murray
- Length: 3 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling social historian Charles Murray has written a delightfully fussy - and entertaining - book on the hidden rules of the road in the workplace - and in life - from the standpoint of an admonishing, but encouraging, workplace grouch and taskmaster. Why the curmudgeon? The fact is that most older, more senior people in the workplace are closet curmudgeons. In today's politically correct world, they may hide their displeasure over your misuse of grammar or your overly familiar use of their first name without an express invitation. But don't be fooled by their pleasant demeanor....
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Good Book: From one curmudgeon to another
- By DaWoolf on 05-22-14
By: Charles Murray
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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Ha!
- The Science of When We Laugh and Why
- By: Scott Weems
- Narrated by: Kalen Allmandinger
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Humor, like pornography, is famously difficult to define. We know it when we see it, but is there a way to figure out what we really find funnyand why? In this fascinating investigation into the science of humor and laughter, cognitive neuroscientist Scott Weems uncovers what’s happening in our heads when we giggle, guffaw, or double over with laughter. While we typically think of humor in terms of jokes or comic timing, in Ha! Weems proposes a provocative new model.
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Good place to start in the study of humor
- By Amazon Customer on 05-26-17
By: Scott Weems
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The Myth of the Spoiled Child
- Challenging the Conventional Wisdom about Children and Parenting
- By: Alfie Kohn
- Narrated by: Alfie Kohn
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Somehow, deeply conservative assumptions about how children behave and how parents raise them have become the conventional wisdom in our society. It's widely assumed that parents are both permissive and overprotective, unable to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. We're told that young people receive trophies, praise, and A's too easily, and suffer from inflated self-esteem and insufficient self-discipline. However, complaints about pushover parents and entitled kids are actually decades old and driven, it turns out, by ideology more than evidence.
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good theories, no tangible or practical ideas.
- By Ben on 05-12-15
By: Alfie Kohn
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The Man Who Lied to his Laptop
- What Machines Teach Us About Human Relationships
- By: Clifford Nass, Corina Yen
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Clifford Nass has developed a powerful theory: Our brains can’t fundamentally distinguish between interacting with people and interacting with devices. Nass’s discoveries push the boundaries of both psychology and technology and provide nothing less than a new blueprint for successful human relationships.
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Human/Technology Interface
- By Roy on 10-19-10
By: Clifford Nass, and others
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
- By: C. Terry Warner
- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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How to Love
- By: Gordon Livingston
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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The internationally best-selling author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Dr. Gordon Livingston here helps readers discover fulfilling happiness. By recognizing and understanding particular character traits in ourselves and others, we can all learn who best to love - and who best to avoid.
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Honest and right to the point
- By Elisabeth on 02-10-10
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Love Is Never Enough
- How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy
- By: Aaron T. Beck MD
- Narrated by: Bob Dio
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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A very readable introduction, needs more meat
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A Handbook for New Stoics
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An ancient belief system made new, Stoicism teaches us how to accept the things we cannot change and how to live a good life. It helps us improve our outlook, increase our well-being, and thrive in the face of adversity. But how does one live like a Stoic? In A Handbook for New Stoics, renowned philosopher Massimo Pigliucci and practitioner Gregory Lopez guide listeners through 52 weekly lessons, each based on a common obstacle. Stressing out about a meeting at work? Try listing the things you can control and those you can’t. Plus much more!
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Great Listen so far and love the content BUT...
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In Breakfast with Seneca, philosopher David Fideler mines Seneca's classic works in a series of focused chapters, clearly explaining Seneca's ideas without oversimplifying them. Best enjoyed as a daily ritual, like an energizing cup of coffee, Seneca's wisdom provides us with a steady stream of time-tested advice about the human condition - which, as it turns out, hasn't changed much over the past 2,000 years.
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Rehashing of points in Irvine's previous work
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One of the great fears many of us face is that despite all our effort and striving, we will discover at the end that we have wasted our life. In A Guide to the Good Life, William B. Irvine plumbs the wisdom of Stoic philosophy, one of the most popular and successful schools of thought in ancient Rome, and shows how its insight and advice are still remarkably applicable to modern lives. In A Guide to the Good Life, Irvine offers a refreshing presentation of Stoicism, showing how this ancient philosophy can still direct us toward a better life.
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A very readable introduction, needs more meat
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Aha!
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Great ideas often develop gradually after studying a problem at length--but not always. Sometimes an insight hits like a bolt from the blue. For Archimedes clarity struck while he was taking a bath. For Gustav Mahler it came as the blades of his oars touched the water. And for Albert Einstein, it emerged while he was talking to a friend.
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An ancient belief system made new, Stoicism teaches us how to accept the things we cannot change and how to live a good life. It helps us improve our outlook, increase our well-being, and thrive in the face of adversity. But how does one live like a Stoic? In A Handbook for New Stoics, renowned philosopher Massimo Pigliucci and practitioner Gregory Lopez guide listeners through 52 weekly lessons, each based on a common obstacle. Stressing out about a meeting at work? Try listing the things you can control and those you can’t. Plus much more!
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Great Listen so far and love the content BUT...
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In Breakfast with Seneca, philosopher David Fideler mines Seneca's classic works in a series of focused chapters, clearly explaining Seneca's ideas without oversimplifying them. Best enjoyed as a daily ritual, like an energizing cup of coffee, Seneca's wisdom provides us with a steady stream of time-tested advice about the human condition - which, as it turns out, hasn't changed much over the past 2,000 years.
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A scientist's exploration into the mysteries of the human mind. Neuroscience studies the brain, but what does science have to say about the mind? A full examination of what we mean by the term "mind" has traditionally been the province of philosophers, but what might neuroscience teach us about it? How does the mind differ from consciousness? And how do we know who we really are?
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love
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Think like a Stoic
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Distilled to its essence, the ancient Greco-Roman philosophy known as Stoicism is a philosophy of personal betterment. Professor Pigliucci, who knows firsthand just how transformative a Stoic approach to life can be, has designed these 25 lessons as an enlightening introduction to the basics of Stoic philosophy and ways to incorporate its lessons into your own life.
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A lot to love. A little to object to.
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The Ikigai Journey
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Ikigai is the place where our passion (what we love), mission (what we hope to contribute), vocation (the gifts we have to offer the world) and profession (how our passions and talents can become a livelihood) converge, giving us a personal sense of meaning. This book helps you bring together all of these elements so that you can enjoy a balanced life.
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very odd choices of example stories throughout
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Meditations by Marcus Aurelius: the New Translation
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Meditations by Marcus Aurelius The New Translation of a Classic Philosophical Text, Known for Self-Help to Self-Examination From the Foreword: "Marcus Aurelius Antoninus was a Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher who reigned from 161 AD to 180 AD, alongside his adoptive brother, Lucius Verus. Known as one of the Five Good Emperors, he would be the last ruler of the Pax Romana (Roman Peace), a two hundred year Golden Age of relative peace and stability. His greatest surviving work, Meditations, was written in private and for himself, a kind of self-help journal with philosophical ...
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Poor quality,
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The Practicing Stoic
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The great insights of the Stoics are spread over a wide range of ancient sources. This book brings them all together for the first time. It systematically presents what the various Stoic philosophers said on every important topic, accompanied by an eloquent commentary that is clear and concise. The result is a set of philosophy lessons for everyone - the most valuable wisdom of ages past made available for our times, and for all time.
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I would guess the book is better
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At a time when we are more technologically linked than ever, our conversations have never been more distracted and disconnected—because most don’t know how to truly listen. The result? You constantly fight to be “heard” over all the noise and distraction. In How to Listen, Oscar Trimboli, host of the Apple-award-winning podcast Deep Listening, shows you how to unlock your listening superpowers. Trimboli shares practical and pragmatic insights to help you notice when you aren’t listening—and what to do about it.
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A transformative journey
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The Art of Reading Minds
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How would you like to know what the people around you are thinking? Would you like to network like a pro, persuade your boss to give you that promotion, and finally become the life of every party? Now, with Henrik Fexeus' expertise, you can. This international best seller teaches you everything you need to know in order to become an expert at mind-reading.
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Henrik has created a fun and very useful audiobook
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The Intelligence Trap
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Smart people are not only just as prone to making mistakes as everyone else - they may be even more susceptible to them. This is the "intelligence trap", the subject of David Robson's fascinating and provocative book. The Intelligence Trap explores cutting-edge ideas in our understanding of intelligence and expertise, including "strategic ignorance", "meta-forgetfulness", and "functional stupidity."
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Great except for one big thing
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How to Be Single and Happy
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It's easy to fall into a bad relationship with dating today, especially for single women. From living in fear of being "ghosted" to enduring endless well-meaning questions about why you haven't found Mr. Right yet, it's tough to be unattached without feeling you're somehow inadequate or doomed to spend life alone and depressed!
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An easy write considering the author is married...
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The Untethered Soul Lecture Series Collection, Volumes 1-4
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Michael A. Singer’s spiritual classic The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself gave us a lucid and practical guide to living an awakened life. Now, for those inspired by his books or new to his teachings, The Untethered Soul Lecture Series Collection, Volumes 1-4 brings you into the company of this beloved teacher as he suffuses new illumination into the life-changing insights shared in his written works.
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One size doesn't fit all
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The Enchanted Life
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Enchantment. By Dr. Sharon Blackie’s definition, a vivid sense of belongingness to a rich and many-layered world, a profound and whole-hearted participation in the adventure of life. Enchantment is a natural, spontaneous human tendency - one we possess as children, but lose, through social and cultural pressures, as we grow older. It is an attitude of mind which can be cultivated: the enchanted life is possible for anyone. It is intuitive, embraces wonder, and fully engages the mythic imagination - but it is also deeply embodied in ecology, grounded in place and community.
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A very disenchanting book
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The Unlikely Thru-Hiker
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Derick Lugo had never been hiking. He certainly couldn't imagine going more than a day without manicuring his goatee. But with a job cut short and no immediate plans, this fixture of the New York comedy scene began to think about what he might do with months of free time. He had heard of the Appalachian Trail, but he had never seriously considered attempting to hike all 2,184.2 miles of it. Suddenly he found himself asking, Could he do it?
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What listeners say about A Slap in the Face
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kyara McAfee
- 12-24-18
Kicks off great, slows down tremendously, and then picks up again and ends great
This is a really good and interesting book. You really just have to bare with chapters 2-3 though.
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- JK
- 03-17-23
Interesting and helpful book.
This was a very interesting and thought provoking book. if more people follow the advice in this book, we would all live in a much happier world.
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- Kim A Jackson
- 11-17-22
Great guidance
This book is a wonderful guide to dealing with the problem of insults! It is rational and charming!
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- milene
- 09-25-20
amazing
irvine breaks down all the annoying things I saw people do, but didn't have a name for it or for the irritation it caused.
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- Tintin
- 02-04-19
Interesting and useful
Had to hear this after Guide to the Good Life and wasn't disappointed. Although I agree with the other reviewer that it was slow in the middle (a bit repetitive, possibly obvious) but it certainly ended very well. Love the Stoic Philosophy! I want more!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Carlos
- 05-19-21
Good read
An ok read for someone interested in the psychology of human behavior. This isn't a mind blowing book but still a good book.
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- Babyface
- 03-02-19
imperative for the world we live in today.
a matter of fact way of dealing with insults. I like that the author implores the reader to think about what he is saying and to decide if it is relatable for them. I will listen again ever so often.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-06-23
Excellent and in depth
While I thought this might be a re-hash of classic Stoic teaching, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I learned about insults and new ways to deal with them. I had never examined my relationship with them on this level
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- Xander
- 03-10-21
Read: guide to the good life instead...
This book is ok... especially if you feel prone to insults. But it pales in comparison to the value of the content of “ guide to the good life” or for a more concise version of the updated wisdom of the stoics... the short lectures on practical stoicism in the Sam Harris waking up meditation platform ( by the same author)
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- Erdoc
- 12-31-22
Mixed feelings
I have mixed feelings on this book. On one hand, I believe there are some ideas that can empower the reader to become less offended to insults, and therefore be better able to maintain tranquility. On the other hand, there are sections in the book where the author “blames the victim”, which is a concept I cannot get behind.
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