Apocalycious
Satire of the Dead
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Narrated by:
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Jay Wohlert
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By:
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K. R. Helms
About this listen
When the dead rose, they rose with a disturbing eating disorder and a weakness for peer pressure that the inhabitants of Earth were completely unprepared for. The Apocalypse just got a whole lot weirder and thank God for it. Breaking the mold of one-dimensional zombie novels, K.R. Helms blends elements of horror, science fiction, dark humor and conspiracy theories in this satirical look at post-apocalyptic survival- all the while satisfying the die-hard purists that live for blood and brutality. We all taste like chicken when the taste buds have rotted from the tongue. We are all Apocalycious. K.R. Helms is a freelance writer whose work has been featured in over a dozen publications and is an underpaid dock worker that resides in rural Ohio with his wife, daughter and transgendered cat.
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During a cross border shopping trip, a family vanishes. No reason. No ransom. No cry for help. Bus driver Wallace Carver fears the worst when his family fails to meet him at the Bellingham, Washington mall. His anxiety is justifiably heightened when security cameras unexplainably show that he crossed the Peace Arch border alone. Now, all Wallace wants to do is get his wife and sons back. But first he has to work out why they were taken and by whom.
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Unexpected Favorite
- By Debbie on 06-14-18
By: Grant McKenzie
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Ghost Road Blues
- The Pine Deep Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Maberry
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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The cozy little town of Pine Deep buried the horrors of its past a long time ago. Thirty years have gone by since the darkness descended and the Black Harvest began, a time when a serial killer sheared a bloody swath through the quiet Pennsylvania village. The evil that once coursed through Pine Deep has been replaced by cheerful tourists getting ready to enjoy the country’s largest Halloween celebration in what is now called “The Spookiest Town in America.”
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Love Joe Ledger Series? Avoid This Trainwreck.
- By Kathleen on 10-21-13
By: Jonathan Maberry
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The Beast of Barcroft
- By: Bill Schweigart
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Ben McKelvie believes he's moving up in the world when he and his fiancée buy a house in the cushy Washington, DC, suburb of Barcroft. Instead he's moving down - way down - thanks to Madeleine Roux, the crazy neighbor whose vermin-infested property is a permanent eyesore and looming hazard to public health. First Ben's fiancée leaves him; then his dog dies, apparently killed by a predator drawn into Barcroft by Madeleine's noxious menagerie. But the worst is yet to come for Ben.
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Just Bearable
- By Nancy Chilton-Kendrick on 06-18-17
By: Bill Schweigart
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900 Minutes
- By: S. Johnathan Davis
- Narrated by: Jamison Jones
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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John is a father, but that wasn't his day job before the Zombie Apocalypse. Seven months after the events in 900 Miles, we pick up with John and Kyle who are bunkered down with their newfound community back at Avalon. Unexpectedly thrust outside the protection of Avalon's walls, they're forced back into the world of the dead on a scavenging run that should be routine. However, they quickly learn that there are forces at play making this journey anything but...
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started off oddly like the game Undead Rising 2
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-10-16
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The Remaining
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace. The bacterium burrows through the brain, destroying all signs of humanity and leaving behind little more than base, prehistoric instincts. The infected turn into hyper-aggressive predators, with an insatiable desire to kill and feed. Someday soon, the soldier will have to open the hatch to his bunker, and step out into this new wasteland, to complete his mission....
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Die Hard Meets 28 Days Later
- By G Wallace on 01-10-14
By: D. J. Molles
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Allison Hewitt Is Trapped
- A Zombie Novel
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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One woman's story as she blogs about - and fights back against - the zombie apocalypse.
Allison Hewitt and her five colleagues at the Brooks and Peabody Bookstore are trapped together when the zombie outbreak hits. Allison reaches out for help through her blog, writing on her laptop. It may also be her only chance to reach her mother. But as the reality of their situation sinks in, Allison's blog becomes a harrowing account of her edge-of-the-seat adventures.
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lots of potential but disappointing
- By Linda B on 04-29-11
By: Madeleine Roux
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900 Miles
- A Zombie Novel
- By: S. Johnathan Davis
- Narrated by: Jamison Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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John is a killer, but that wasn't his day job before the Apocalypse. In a harrowing 900-mile race against time to get to his wife just as the dead begin to rise, John, a businessman trapped in New York, soon learns that the zombies are the least of his worries, as he sees firsthand the horror of what man is capable of with no rules, no consequences, and death at every turn. Teaming up with an ex-army pilot named Kyle, they escape New York only to stumble across a man who says that he has the key to a rumored underground stronghold called Avalon....
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A "road story"--with zombies!
- By Lesley on 09-30-14
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The Best Horror of the Year, Volume 4
- By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Rebecca Mitchell, Michael Healy, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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With tales from Laird Barron, Stephen King, John Langan, Peter Straub, and many others, and featuring Datlow’s comprehensive overview of the year in horror, now, more than ever, The Best Horror of the Year provides the petrifying horror fiction readers have come to expect - and enjoy.
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Only a few decent stories in this bunch.
- By Jerry on 12-06-14
By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, and others
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Trail of Lightning
- By: Rebecca Roanhorse
- Narrated by: Tanis Parenteau
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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The sudden rising waters of a climate apocalypse have destroyed most of the planet…yet out of these waters, Dinétah, a former Navajo reservation, has been miraculously reborn. Listen along as Tanis Parenteau's impeccable narration, capturing the rhythms of Navajo speech, fully envelopes you into the Sixth World. Trail of Lightning follows our heroine as she walks the land alongside gods, heroes of legend, and monsters alike.
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The person you hire when the heroes fail
- By Cynthia on 08-09-18
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The List
- By: J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: Benjamin L. Darcie
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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They are ten strangers with one thing in common: A mysterious tattoo on the bottom of their feet. None of them know how it got there or what it means. One of them is a homicide cop who’s determined to find out. All of them are marked for death - because they’re next on...The List. The explosive thriller from bestselling author J.A. Konrath, The List takes you deep inside a top-secret techno-conspiracy that’s too shocking to comprehend, too insidious to detect, and far too powerful to stop....
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Better than expected
- By Sammie on 07-19-19
By: J. A. Konrath
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Dying for a Living
- By: Kory M. Shrum
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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On the morning before her 67th death, it is business as usual for Agent Jesse Sullivan: Meet with the mortician, counsel soon-to-be-dead clients, and have coffee while reading the latest in regeneration theory. Jesse dies for a living, literally. Because of a neurological disorder, she is one of the rare people who can serve as a death surrogate, dying so others don't have to. But when Jesse is murdered and becomes the sole suspect in a federal investigation, more than her freedom and sanity are at stake. She must catch the killer herself - or die trying.
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A Unique Paranormal Character
- By Carolyn Philpot on 06-06-22
By: Kory M. Shrum
What listeners say about Apocalycious
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Midwestbonsai
- 01-29-15
There are some parts that I am confused about
Readers are given humor, irony, exaggeration and ridicule exposing the stupidity or faults of each character. Including a list of characters that are many and varied including a king/knight from another dimension, Anubis, a Lycan, big-foot, military, government, criminals, feminists, evil plastic surgery doctor who provides a wrestling midget with double D enhanced breasts, monks, alien space ships, zombies and the list goes on. Each plays a pivotal role in this audio making each person’s journey just a tad bit harder and more meaningful.
Helms has taken several genres and combined them successfully into one satire. I’m not sure why it took me so long to come to terms with the layout of the book. I would assume it was because I’ve never experienced anything like this. So at first, it escaped me that it was not just a zombie book.
I had several misconceptions in the beginning. I thought it was a conglomeration of “stories” about different people and how they were surviving or not. This belief was based on the little chapter involving “Crystal Beth” a meth using stripper with children solely for the government check she collected each month until … the vivid detail of the baby eyes, the giggle, the one moment of true mom-baby connection and finally, the brutal slaying of the baby and her brother by zombies … even devoted Walking Dead fans would struggle with this evilness. I almost felt like a polar bear plunger descending into the freezing depths of glacial water.
It was refreshing to read something of this magnitude and watch it come together at the end. There are still some parts that I am confused about but I blame the narrator (which I will share shortly). At the conclusion of the audio, I was glad to see a fairly happy ending for some while others I still wondered about their “happily ever after” ending.
The audio production was good with no issues.
The narrator however was distracting. The narration was fine for the most part until he got to the chapter number and chapter title – it was like nails on a chalk board. It was this that made my listening to the story extremely painful and ten times longer than I should have taken. The drawing out of the words was done in extreme “slow motion” and as if it was being said to someone with a brain injury of grave magnitude. For me this took away from the book. I know the purpose of this extreme slow motion of speaking is to demonstrate the switch of stories and identify the chapter but OMG really? I won’t go into more detail but suffice it to say my teeth hurt from gritting because of his extreme slow motion voice.
I do recommend this book but be forewarned the narrator is a distraction. The storyline and character development is excellent and engrossing.
Audiobook provided for review by the narrator.
Please find this complete review and many others at audiobookreviewer dot com
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6 people found this helpful
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- SMJ26
- 06-22-16
Wow Amazing !!
What an awesome and amazing mythical zombie apocalypse story. It starts a little slow and I almost decided not to listen to the book but get through the first couple chapters you won't be able to stop listening to it . So well-written and what an imagination I don't know what you're smoking when you're writing but keep smoking and write the second book LOL! I really hope there is a second book. The only thing I didn't like is how the narrator announced a chapters that was what almost made me not read the book so please change that for the next book. Other than that his narration was excellent 👍🏾
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2 people found this helpful
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- david
- 01-07-14
poor narration is ruining this one for me
Any additional comments?
Jay Wohlert reads the book as if he were unfamiliar with it, in a style that's as wooden as it is awkwardly cadenced. I'm trying to stick with the book long enough to get a feel for the story, but it's so annoyingly read that I may just have to give up.
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1 person found this helpful
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- William
- 09-02-16
Could not finish!
I could not finish this book. It wasn't very funny or witty and was too unrelentingly dark for my tastes. The narrator did a fair job but the material was just too horrible. I have listened to dozens of books from Audible and this is only the 2nd that I could not get through.
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