
At Dark, I Become Loathsome
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Eiden
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By:
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Eric LaRocca
About this listen
From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.
“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.
Book discussion questions are available here: s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/www.blackstoneaudio.com/docs/At%20Dark%20I%20Become%20Loathsome%20Discussion%20Questions.pdf
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Nathan Tyler is an unassuming professor at a middling American university with a rather obscure specialty in mathematics—in short, a nobody from nowhere. So why is the White House calling? Summoned to Washington, DC, for a top-secret briefing, Nathan discovers that he’s the key to a massive foreign intelligence breakthrough. Reading between the lines of a cryptic series of equations, he could open a door straight into the heart of the Kremlin and change the global balance of power forever.
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Wonderful
- By Or on 02-02-25
By: Lee Child
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The Ex
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Nicol Zanzarella
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Cassie thinks she has met the perfect man. Joel is sweet, handsome, romantic, and best of all, he’s crazy about Cassie. She thinks she’s found the guy she’ll spend the rest of her life with. Have children with. Grow old with. Yes, she knows about his perfect ex-girlfriend, Francesca. The beautiful, brilliant chef, beloved by all his friends. But she thinks Francesca is out of the picture. She thinks Francesca is gone for good. Think again, Cassie.
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Too bizarre for someone who loves bizarre
- By G. C. Webster on 07-01-22
By: Freida McFadden
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Secret Sister
- By: Sarah A. Denzil
- Narrated by: Jessica Gunning, Sacha Dhawan, Joanne Froggatt, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Original Recording
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On the Yorkshire moors, celebrated author Faye Mathis is coming to terms with her early-onset dementia. She has begun writing her memoir, committing her past to paper before her memory betrays her. But her family history is full of gaps, bloodlines cut short, family ties all ending in knots. When a picture of Faye – dirty and dishevelled, stumbling alone on the moors – goes viral, her life is thrown into chaos. Faye is convinced she is not that person in the photograph. But how can she be sure?
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The voice acting 👌🏽
- By Laura A. H. on 04-15-25
By: Sarah A. Denzil
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Aren't We Lucky
- By: Sarah Forbes Stewart
- Narrated by: Nicola Coughlan
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Life’s not going well for forty-year-old Abby. When her beautiful and charismatic best friend dies suddenly, she’s left reeling. Hetty’s always been such a dominant force in her life; now Abby must figure out who she is – and who she wants to be – without Hetty by her side. Abby has always been the odd one out in Hetty’s wealthy, privileged friendship group. Despite their differences, Abby has managed to carve out a place for herself. But Hetty isn’t an easy friend to have. She blows hot and cold, alternating between fierce loyalty and unwarranted cruelty.
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Glad I stuck with it.
- By Bradley Perkins on 04-08-25
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Too Late
- Definitive Edition
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Ryan Gray, Maxine Mitchell, Joe Arden
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Sloan will go through hell and back for those she loves. And she does so, every single day. Caught up with the alluring Asa Jackson, a notorious drug trafficker, Sloan has finally found a lifeline to cling to, even if it’s meant compromising her morals. She was in dire straits trying to pay for her brother’s care until she met Asa. But as Sloan became emotionally and economically reliant on him, he in turn developed a disturbing obsession with her—one that becomes increasingly dangerous every day.
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Triggering and poor narration
- By Katherine Epperson on 07-11-23
By: Colleen Hoover
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Immensely dark. Don’t believe the negativity.
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Makes me uncomfortable (but I like it)
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Elise and her boyfriend, Tom, set off for Minnesota, hoping the paycheck from the sugar beet harvest will cover the rent on their Brooklyn apartment. Amidst the grueling work and familiar anxieties about her finances, Elise starts noticing strange things: threatening phone calls, a mysterious rash, and snatches of an ominous voice coming from the beet pile. When Tom and other coworkers begin to vanish, Elise is left alone to confront the weight of her past, the horrors of her uncertain future, and the menacing but enticing siren song of the beets.
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The awful personality of the main character.
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Each precious thing I show you in this book is a holy relic from the night we both perished—the night when I combed you from my hair and watered the moon with your blood.
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couldn't tell you what this story is about
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John Dolan Vincent was born with an extra ring finger on one hand. He was an abnormally gifted child with a proclivity for mathematics beyond his years, but he lacked social skills. Childhood ridicule and a difficult family life led him to use his talents in adulthood for criminal acts of forgery. When he starts getting untreatable migraines, his self-medication results in overdosing which sends him repeatedly to the emergency room.
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I am Jack's utter lack of imagination
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The Woods All Black
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The Woods All Black is a story of passion, prejudice, and power—an Appalachian period piece that explores reproductive justice and bodily autonomy, the terrors of small-town religiosity, and the necessity of fighting tooth and claw to live as who you truly are.
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What listeners say about At Dark, I Become Loathsome
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-21-25
If you want to feel weirded out and read about loss, this is it
This was different. It was a unique take on someone who has been ravaged by loss and tries to find the thing that keeps them going. Although the two side stories do give context to the plot, I believe they took up too much space in relation to the length of the main plot. There could’ve been more done there to keep the audience going. Nonetheless- creepy, disgusting, sexual, agonizing, and a great listen (loved the narrator). Overall I’d say a 7.8-7.9/10
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- Andres Matinez
- 02-13-25
Dark tragedy dealing with loss and death
The story was good and the characters are tragic but it’s a great story told by Mr Larooca
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- Isaac B. Loredo
- 03-14-25
There’s always a first
This is the first audiobook I read that’s is more thriller or like spooky vibes, and I have to say it was so good! Like wow must hear or read 🔥
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- Adam Rodriguez
- 03-18-25
The reader ! His voice was nice and didn’t bore me.
The story was okay, and good. Would not re read. But it was a good story.
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- Christemba
- 04-01-25
this is so dark
I kept hoping for redemption. this was so dark and I thought about not finishing it several times. I don't think I've ever read or listened to anything quite like this. I don't know that I ever want to do it again. it's incredibly well done, but beware cuz it will take you to a dark place. it's got wrenching and sad and it stays there and it holds you in that grasp. wow! I kept hoping for redemption this was so dark and I thought about not finishing it several times I don't think I've ever read or listened to anything quite like this I don't know that I ever want to do it again it's incredibly well done but beware cuz it will take you to a dark place it's got wrenching and sad and it stays there and it holds you in that grass well
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- Amanda
- 02-10-25
DNF
Narrator is good, premise is good. I dont want to listen to the detailed abuse of dogs. After the 2nd description of killing a dog I DNF'd. A trigger warning would have stopped me from spending the money at all.
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- jfkreuz
- 03-16-25
unbelievably annoying
a good story ruined by irritating repetitive "artistic" choices. I would've enjoyed this story if the author hadn't kept repeating the title over and over again every other sentence. it must've been annoying to type it but Im sure copy and paste made it a little easier. other obnoxious unnecessary repetition, an online chat where the entire chat handle is repeated after every sentence. it's repeated probably 60 + times in the span of a 10 minute aside. when reading this you would just skip over it but as an audio book you have to hear the narrator repeat it over and over in a slightly more intense manor suggestions that the repetition is somehow elevating the over all experience. it really doesn't. its just annoying.
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- Scentart
- 02-22-25
yuck. what a time suck
Bad, dark, violent. Who masturbates to illness? Waste of talent 9pn the author's part? I need a shower
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