Beautiful Chaos
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Narrated by:
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Michael Dean
About this listen
Silas
My home is my sanctuary. Or is it my prison? Some days it's hard to tell.
I've confined myself behind these walls for protection. I have my reasons, but that doesn't change the profound loneliness I've discovered in the process.
Then one day I find myself drifting toward the window to see him. Corey Marshall, my new neighbor. Quiet, reserved, and cute as can be. He infects my thoughts, becomes the image I fantasize about.
I want to taste his lips, smell his scent...feel what it's like to be inside him.
And soon, watching becomes exchanging gifts and messages, which becomes so much more.
It's wrong to want this as badly as I do, but I can't help myself. I crave him so desperately. It's hard to tell if what we're doing is going to make me lose my mind or change my entire world, but it's too late to turn back now....
Corey
I've never been quite right. Too high or too low. Pain is my constant companion...at the hands of my abusive ex, and often from myself. The sweet relief is only temporary, but in those moments, it's like I can finally breathe.
Then I meet him. Silas Rizner calms the chaotic storms inside me. He makes me feel loved, treasured, even when I don't deserve it. I cherish the moments we share - cooking, cuddling, and when Silas reads to me until I fall asleep. When he's inside me, it's the only time in my life I've ever felt complete.
Silas becomes the glue that holds me together, that bandages my scars. Inside the walls of his home, we're almost safe, but our demons are always there, waiting to break free.
We're a mess. We're broken, chaotic, beautiful; we're in love.
But not even love can slay our monsters. No, only we can do that.
Unless our monsters destroy us first.
TRIGGERS: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, mentions of past domestic violence.
*While the sexual situations depicted in Beautiful Chaos are imperative to the characters' development throughout the course of the novel, listeners are advised to hear the "Dear Reader" letter at the beginning of the book to help them make an informed decision about whether this particular story will be to their tastes.
©2018 Devon McCormack, Riley Hart (P)2018 Devon McCormack, Riley HartListeners also enjoyed...
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Lucas Barnett and Gabriel Stewart didn't have it easy as kids. They were only trying to deal with bad situations at home when they became lifelines for each other. Their pipe dream was to someday meet in LA, where Lucas would design skyscrapers, and Gabriel would learn to fly. But then Gabriel disappeared without so much as a goodbye, and Lucas got himself in trouble with the law. Five years later, both men are at a loss when they run into each other at a Hollywood bar.
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✫✫ 4 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 01-31-19
By: Christina Lee, and others
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Bait & Switch
- Alphas Undone, Book 1
- By: Kendall Ryan
- Narrated by: Tyler Donne, Alexandria Wilde
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I'm a rescuer. It's in my DNA. Stray dogs. Stray women... But this one doesn't need rescuing. She needs something real, but I never keep the ones I rescue. I could let her go...but I can't watch her walk away. I'm an ex-Navy SEAL, and I never give up on a mission.
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Middle of the book
- By Davis on 07-05-16
By: Kendall Ryan
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Fighting for Everything
- By: Laura Kaye
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Home from the Marines, Noah Cortez has a secret he doesn’t want his oldest friend, Kristina Moore, to know. It kills him to push her away, especially when he’s noticing just how sexy and confident she’s become in his absence. But, angry and full of fight, he’s not the same man anymore either. Which is why Warrior Fight Club sounds so good. Kristina loves teaching, but she wants more out of life. She wants Noah - the boy she’s crushed on and waited for. But Noah is secretly spiraling, and when he lashes out, it threatens what he and Kristina have found.
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Good book!
- By Ms. Nicolicous on 05-28-18
By: Laura Kaye
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#1 Crush
- By: T Gephart
- Narrated by: Grace Grant
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tia Monroe was smart, sassy, and successful. Sure, she could get a little crazy at times - life around Tia was never boring - but that was part of her appeal. And while she didn't see herself as classically beautiful, she had no shortage of options in the boyfriend department. She just hadn't found one who held her interest. Until she laid eyes on Eric Larsson, and then it was lust at first sight. He packed the perfect mix of smoldering sexy and unapologetic cool into his blond-haired, blue-eyed, ridiculously hot six-foot-four frame.
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Cute laugh out loud story
- By Amazon Customer on 07-20-17
By: T Gephart
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Dangerous Race
- By: Dee J. Adams
- Narrated by: Eve Bianco
- Length: 14 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Four years ago, race car driver Tracey Bradshaw almost died in a horrific crash. Now scarred inside and out, she's making a comeback, but her team is plagued by a series of "accidents."
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Good
- By Leesa on 07-10-13
By: Dee J. Adams
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The Roommate 'dis'Agreement
- By: Leddy Harper
- Narrated by: Athena Pappas, Aaron Sinn
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Item One: Divorced man seeks female roommate for companionship. Cash Nicholson isn't looking for a girlfriend, but he wants to come home to someone after a bad day at work. Item Two: Single mother needs apartment. Jade Robertson is desperate, and her best friend's couch just isn't going to cut it anymore.
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not for me
- By Oma on 06-28-18
By: Leddy Harper
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The Intern, Vol. 1
- By: Brooke Cumberland
- Narrated by: Maxine Mitchell, Joe Arden
- Length: 3 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
She's sexy, fierce, and a loud-mouthed know-it-all... and she's completely off-limits. Cecilia isn't your typical college student. Hell, she isn't a college student at all, but that doesn't stop her from applying for one of the biggest and prestigious enterprises in the Midwest. She wants it. She takes it. She doesn't let anything get in her way when it comes to finding out the truth. When Bentley Leighton, soon-to-be CEO of Leighton Enterprises, meets "Ceci", he's instantly impressed. He doesn't have time to train a new intern.
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This is one steamy, hot read!!!
- By Laura McMillin on 10-24-15
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Lead Me Not
- By: A. Meredith Walters
- Narrated by: Shayna Thibodeaux, Sebastian York
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Aubrey Duncan understands loss. She knows what rock bottom looks like, and she is determined to crawl back up to the top after the sudden death of her younger sister. In her effort to gain redemption, Aubrey starts fresh at Longwood University and facilitates an addiction support group, hoping she can support someone else in the way she failed her sister. But what she doesn't count on is an all-consuming fascination with group member Maxx Demelo.
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wow
- By BigFish46 on 10-19-15
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Off Base
- By: Annabeth Albert
- Narrated by: Tyler Stevens
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After trading the barracks for a fixer-upper rental, navy SEAL Zack Nelson wants peace, not a roommate—especially not Pike, who sees things about Zack he most wants to hide. Pike's flirting puts virgin Zack on edge. And the questions Pike's arrival would spark from Zack's teammates about his own sexuality? Nope. Not going there. But Zack can't refuse. Pike Reynolds knows there won't be a warm welcome in his new home. What can he say? He's an acquired taste. But he needs this chance to get his life together. Also, teasing the uptight SEAL will be hella fun.
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Unexpectedly good
- By Zell Oakley on 05-22-20
By: Annabeth Albert
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Captured
- Devil's Blaze MC, Book 1
- By: Jordan Marie
- Narrated by: Morgan Tyler, Leo Barnabas
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
There's an animal in me that I keep hidden. Beth calls to him. She tempts the monster and lures him to the surface. I'm obsessed with her. I can't stay away, even when doing so puts my entire club in danger. Her blood is on my hands. I formed her to fit only me. I was her first and if I have to kill everyone in our way. So be it. I will be her last. She is mine.
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Good Grief
- By BarbaraY on 10-15-17
By: Jordan Marie
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Forgetting You, Forgetting Me
- Memories from Yesterday, Book 1
- By: Monica James
- Narrated by: Summer Morton
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
My name is Lucy Tucker, and my life…it was perfect. I worked the dream job. I had the most incredible family and friends. My home, Whispering Willows, a ranch in Montana, was everything I could ever wish for. My adoring fiancé, Samuel Stone, loved me unconditionally. I had everything a girl could ever want. But one fateful event shattered my perfect life. It’s unimaginable how simple, ordinary words can change a person’s life forever. For me those words were, “There’s been an accident.”
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PHENOMENAL STORYTELLING.. 10 ⭐️ ‘s
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 02-26-19
By: Monica James
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Hardwired
- By: Meredith Wild
- Narrated by: Jennifer Stark
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Determined to overcome a difficult past, Erica Hathaway learns early on how to make it on her own. Days after her college graduation, she finds herself face to face with a panel of investors who will make or break her fledgling startup. The only thing she didn't prepare for was going weak in the knees over an arrogant and gorgeous investor who's seemingly determined to derail her presentation.
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Goodbye 50 Shades! Didn't really like the narrator
- By Nikita on 03-31-15
By: Meredith Wild
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I Do(n't)
- By: Leddy Harper
- Narrated by: Lillian Claire, Roberto Scarlato
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I fell in love with Holden York when I was six years old. Most of my youth came with spiral notebooks filled with doodles, wedding plans, and "Janelle York" looped in bubbly handwriting. However, one night in Vegas changed everything. I woke up to more than just a fantasy of my brother's best friend. Five years later, I'm standing on his doorstep confronting him about the secret he kept from me. If you think this is the story of how we rode off into the sunset together...You're so wrong.
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sweet
- By Brandie @AudiobookObsession on 06-21-18
By: Leddy Harper
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A Kiss to Tell
- By: Willow Winters
- Narrated by: CJ Bloom, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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From USA Today best-selling author W Winters comes a emotionally-gripping, romantic suspense audiobook. I didn’t need anyone to tell me; I knew he was forbidden with a single glance. He was a boy I should’ve been afraid of, and definitely a boy I should’ve never wanted. No matter how much neither of those statements were true. From the first time I saw him, Sebastian had a hard stare that pinned me in place. And years later, it hasn’t softened. We lived on the same street and went to the same school, but he was a year ahead. Even so close, he was untouchable.
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Kiss can tell all series
- By Elizabeth on 11-14-18
By: Willow Winters
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C#cky Carmichael and Cranky Campbell
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After everything I’ve lost in my life, it’s important that I keep myself tightly guarded. Especially around Bishop Sullivan. Dad would be rolling in his grave if he found out I was shacking up with a Sullivan, given the bad blood between our families. But eleven years after leaving, I’m back in Laurel Springs with something to prove: I don’t need the Sullivans, nor their land.
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After the death of his wife, Tanner Rowe takes a step toward making her dying wish come true and buys the house with the dilapidated barn she'd been drawn to in the Upper Peninsula. But after a year, he still can't get past his grief long enough to make the repairs he'd promised. Recently out of prison, Cole Lachlan has little to his name. Homeless, broke, and without many options as a felon, Cole heads to Red Bluff with hopes of a second chance. There he meets Tanner, whose loneliness mirrors his own, and soon Cole is trading room and board for rebuilding the burned-out barn.
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I rated high but I don't LIKE the ending.
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Lorenzo Moretti and Damon Blackwell have never met, but they're tied together by the same tragedy. They were both there that night. They each lost someone they loved... Enzo and Damon might not know much else, but...they know they're in love...But love alone can't get them through. Damon and Enzo must decide if they really have what it takes to work through their trauma and fight for the happily ever after that's waiting just on the horizon.
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I Need This
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No Good Mitchell
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A night on the town after a long workweek at my family's distillery should include shots and dancing - not a hot kiss with a handsome stranger. I'm straight. At least, that's what I figured until I find myself locking lips with a sexy city boy. Now, all my circuits are going haywire, and the spark that ignites between us makes me even more curious. Unfortunately, I kissed the one man who's off-limits: Cohen Mitchell - the sole surviving heir to the Mitchell Creek distillery, a rival neighbor my family has feuded with for nearly a 100 years.
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This needs yo be a series ASAP
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Risk the Fall
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I’ve never been great at letting people in. Life is easier if I bury my feelings. People tend to let you down, which is only proven when my best friend, Rex, accidentally kills a man and lets me take the fall. When I get out of prison, the last thing I want is to go back to Clayton, Oregon, but it’s where my grandma lives, the only person who’s always had my back. My plan is to stay out of trouble, steer clear of my old crew, save up, and the second we can, leave town for good.
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Moving Forward from Your Past
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Out and proud NFL star tight end Tad Roarke has success, money, and fame. Just about everything. Except a good reputation. After being outed by the media as a promiscuous cheat, sponsors are dropping him left and right. To make matters worse, he's been targeted as the next victim of an anti-gay celebrity serial killer. The FBI works with his team to protect him, assigning agent Bryce Finnegan as his undercover bodyguard. But Tad doesn't like Bryce from the get-go. The fed thinks he's a spoiled brat. Maybe he's right.
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Fantastically Hot
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Pretty Things
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Pretty Thing - the moment Liam McKinney first uttered those words will be embedded in my mind forever. He's mysterious, intriguing...and off-limits since he's my father's friend. Easier said than done. The moment I laid eyes on the man with the dark eyes and intense stare, he awoke a primal hunger within me unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. For some time, I've been confused about my attraction toward men, but there's no confusion when I look at him - just pure, unfettered desire to feel his body against mine, taste his flesh, breathe in his scent.
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- Patrick Gallanger
- 11-21-18
Dark, but powerful
I am really glad there was a pro-log on this book it helped setup the situation. The characters are amazing and the story was almost over powering. Very well done to Devon, Riley, and of course Michael.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Michael
- 01-30-19
One of the best books I have heard
This book had a good subject matter was written with great research care, and understanding. One of the best books I have read
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2 people found this helpful
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- ILoveBooksSue
- 12-04-18
Oh my broken heart!
This book...my heart broke for these 2 beautiful, broken men. The intense trauma both of them survived to then be able to find each other...breathtaking! Michael Pauley always delivers a stellar performance. I'm telling everyone how much I loved this book❤❤❤
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7 people found this helpful
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- Danyell
- 03-26-20
beautiful
this story was so great it made me cry and laugh I really felt their pain. the way they found one another in the dark and then decided if they were going to be together they had to fix themselves apart. that their love showed them they were only living a half life.
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- Placeholder
- 12-09-20
Mind blowing and so beautiful!
My first book by Riley and Devon and it literally blew my mind! Beyond beautiful! A phenomenal and wonderful story! Not for the faint of heart! An incredible emotional roller coaster! Probably my favorite book this year! I love it so much! Michael Dean is extraordinary! He is just exquisite! His voice helped me finish it! So much angst and such intense emotions! Thank you Riley, Devon, and Michael! You rock to the moon and back! Listen to this beautiful story! It’s so worth it!
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- M. Templin
- 04-13-22
Sad but Evocative Story
A gentle woven story of painful pasts and finding light. Not a story for the faint of heart
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- Sweetie Pooh
- 03-01-22
Beautiful story, can't stand the narrator
I liked the story and the characters and how they fell for one another a lot. I almost didn't finish it though because I didn't enjoy the narrator. I'm glad I did finish but I just couldn't stand the narrators sing songy, extra dramatic narration. As someone who is passionate about mental health, I appreciate how the story was told and some of the choices the characters made for themselves towards the end. Beautiful overall
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- Jason
- 03-04-22
Speechless!
After my first go at this type of genre-with "Still Your Guy"- I wasn't sure if another book would be just as satisfying. I should have known that given the more serious subject matter, it would be even more intense! This isn't for the faint of heart, and a full box of tissues are def recommended.
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I obviously have parts of Silas & Corey within me (fear, anxiety, a bipolar disorder, depression) and as such, while I listened with anxious anticipation to each new chapter, part of me worried about what the next page would unleash, almost to the point of dreading the unrealistic possibility of an unhappy ending. Could such pain & sadness turn into stronger happiness and acceptance?!
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The lives of these 2 characters were so beautifully flawed, realistic and equally balanced, how could you not fall in love with them and their love for each other, and be rooting for them to find their happily ever after?! How many people out there are also living their daily lives as a struggle due to the damage and harm inflicted at the hands of another? So many also more alone, or not as fortunate to find a hand reaching out to pull them up, or with the courage to say "I need help". There's a saying that goes something like, if we all had the opportunity to put our problems in a pile, then choose from all those stacks before us, we'd still choose our own, because we never really know the depths of what another is going through regardless of how it looks on the surface.
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Although I would love a sequel, I'm content knowing that the sky's the limit for Corey & Silas!
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As with the previous title, I just had to have the actual book to add to my budding collection, although part of me knows that once again, the amazing talents of narrator Michael Dean made this story that much better. I think listening to him read an old phone book would hold my attention, and probably turn me on nearly just as much! He's usually the first thing I look for when searching for my next romantic adventure.
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Thank you, Devon, Riley & Michael! ❤️❤️❤️
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- BW
- 12-03-20
I applaud the authors!
I originally purchased this as a Kindle book. I still have it and have read it more than once. I was excited to see it listed on Audible and to my hearts satisfaction I was not let down at all!
These two were able to show case the tragic issues of 2 men, bring them together to help start their healing. It was beautiful, it was chaos, it was a beautiful chaos! They were able to capture the thoughts and feeling of these two individual men like if it were a perfect storm. I could identify with them, and the feeling that made me feel someone finally understood me.
I will say if you have trigger points, this book is not for you at all. i luckily, do not have those trigger points in my life, but can identify with each character, the stories the feelings, the insecurities. Devon McCormack and Riley Hart, you deserve a standing ovation for this one! Well done!
The narrator: It was like a love/hate relationship through the entire book. I wanted to hate it, but then he did a scene that showcased the power of his voice. The climbing drama, fast paced dialog, the heartfelt breaths... the control ... my heart would race... my mind would was hanging on every word as his voice rose and fell with each climax of the story line.. and when we were back to the normal I was in awe of the way he controlled the story. I sat back in awe... my own body breathless and feeling like I had been through it with the character.
Then we were back to the normal dialog... and I wanted to love it... but his voice seemed almost weak. At times the warble that he has almost made it sound robotic, like when you use a computer generated voice to do the reading for you. The voice did not showcase the beautiful masculinity of the cover picture or even the strong domineering person that took control and dominated men during the video sessions or even when the 2 characters got together in the sexual scenes. He felt weak, he felt whimpy, he felt flat. There was that thing in his voice that kept me going, hanging on for the next dramatic pick me up that left me breathless.
I am not sure if it just the few that I have read, since I don't read many gay books between men, but I do occasionally dip my toes in Kindle books, but the samples and the couple books I have tried here on Audible the men seem... (I don't want to offend anyone, as it is not my intension to do so) but they seem obviously gay, flamboyant? Maybe that is a better word. I would have loved to have heard this book done with a more manly type style, but then I guess I would have really missed out on the power and control Michael Dean has over his voice.
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- Mary Flannery
- 12-18-18
Beautiful Chaos!
This is a moving story of two men who have been affected with horrible things that affected their .dental and physical health. Good with love
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