
Big Dumb Eyes
Stories from a Simpler Mind
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Narrated by:
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Nate Bargatze
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By:
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Nate Bargatze
About this listen
From one of the hottest stand-up comedians, Nate Bargatze brings his everyman comedy to book form in this hilarious collection of personal stories, opinions, and confessions.
Nate Bargatze used to be a genius. That is, until the summer after seventh grade when he slipped, fell off a cliff, hit his head on a rock, and “my skull got, like, dented or something.” Before this accident, he dreamed of being “an electric engineer, or a doctor that does brain stuff, or a math teacher who teaches the hardest math on earth.” Afterwards, all he could do was stand-up comedy.* But the “brain stuff” industry’s loss is everyone else’s gain because Nate went on to become one of today’s top-grossing comedians, breaking both attendance and streaming records.
In his highly anticipated first book, Nate talks about life as a non-genius. From stories about his first car (named Old Blue, a clunky Mazda with a tennis ball stick shift) and his travels as a Southerner (Northerners like to ask if he believes in dinosaurs), to tales of his first apartment where he was almost devoured by rats and his many debates with his wife over his chores, his diet, and even his definition of “shopping.” He also reflects on such heady topics as his irrational passion for Vandy football and the mysterious origins of sushi (how can a California roll come from old-time Japan?).
BIG DUMB EYES is full of heart. It will make listeners laugh out loud and nod in recognition, but it probably won’t make them think too much.
*Nate’s family disputes this entire story.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Too many people reviewing the man, not the book.
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Story
At ten years old, Chelsea opened a lemonade stand and realized she’d make more money if the drinks were spiked. So she added vodka to her recipe and used her earnings to upgrade herself to first-class on a family vacation—leaving her parents and siblings in coach. She moved to Los Angeles and got fired from her temp job when she admitted she didn’t know how to transfer calls. She’s played pickleball with the scions of an American dynasty. She’s sexted a governor. She shared psychedelics with strangers in Spain.
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Per Usual, Chelsea Knocks it Out of the Park!
- By Dalontrius on 02-27-25
By: Chelsea Handler
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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- By: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
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Hot sauce is the best!
- By Michael Bowen on 06-15-22
By: Tom Segura
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Food: A Love Story
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Bacon. McDonalds. Cinnabon. Hot Pockets. Kale. Stand-up comedian and author Jim Gaffigan has made his career rhapsodizing over the most treasured dishes of the American diet (“choking on bacon is like getting murdered by your lover”) and decrying the worst offenders (“kale is the early morning of foods”).
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Haven't We Heard All of This Before?
- By Joel on 11-19-14
By: Jim Gaffigan
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The Way I Heard It
- By: Mike Rowe
- Narrated by: Mike Rowe
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Emmy-award winning gadfly Mike Rowe presents a ridiculously entertaining, seriously fascinating collection of his favorite episodes from America’s number-one short-form podcast, The Way I Heard It, along with a host of memories, ruminations, and insights. It’s a delightful collection of mysteries. A mosaic. A memoir. A charming, surprising must-have. Mike Rowe’s The Way I Heard It collects 35 fascinating stories “for the curious mind with a short attention span”.
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I could listen to Mike read all day. And I am!
- By Amazon Customer on 10-15-19
By: Mike Rowe
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Stay Hungry
- By: Sebastian Maniscalco
- Narrated by: Sebastian Maniscalco
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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At 24, Sebastian Maniscalco arrived in LA with a suitcase and saved up minimum wages. He knew no one and nothing about standup comedy, but he was determined to go for it anyway. At 44, he's on the Forbes' list of highest earning comedians, sells out arenas, and has starred in four hit comedy specials including Why Would You Do That? on Showtime. Stay Hungry tells the story of the 20 years in between.
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Great book with some good laughs
- By Dave J. on 03-23-18
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Tom Papa: Human Mule
- By: Tom Papa
- Narrated by: Tom Papa
- Length: 57 mins
- Original Recording
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Tom Papa has become a human mule, and he’s not afraid to admit it. In this follow-up to his 2013 special, Tom is at his fast-paced comedic best while relating the everyman struggles of family life, falling behind to the superrich, and his hilarious cure for angry young men.
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Very funny
- By Samantha Rubenstein on 01-08-23
By: Tom Papa
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Your Dad Stole My Rake
- And Other Family Dilemmas
- By: Tom Papa
- Narrated by: Tom Papa
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live from Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa. How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you’re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm audiobook that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives.
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Just didn't do it for me
- By Eric Holmquist on 08-05-18
By: Tom Papa
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Mark Twain
- By: Ron Chernow
- Narrated by: Jason Culp
- Length: 48 hrs
- Unabridged
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Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer Ron Chernow illuminates the full, fascinating, and complex life of the writer long celebrated as the father of American literature, Mark Twain.
By: Ron Chernow
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You're Doing Great!
- And Other Reasons to Stay Alive
- By: Tom Papa
- Narrated by: Tom Papa
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked, and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we're not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems, and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you're doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed.
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Laughing While Walking Makes the Neighbors Think You're Crazy
- By PC737 on 07-10-20
By: Tom Papa
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Odyssey
- The Greek Myths Reimagined
- By: Stephen Fry
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Odysseus’s journey from the battlefields of Troy to his home in Ithaca is one of the greatest stories ever told. From the lotus-eaters to the sirens, from Circe to the Cyclops, this is a tale of thrilling adventures, cunning escapes, and enduring devotion. Stephen Fry breathes new life into the ancient poem with humor and pathos.
By: Stephen Fry
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Vagabond
- A Memoir
- By: Tim Curry
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Now, in his memoir, Curry takes listeners behind-the-scenes of his rise to fame from his early beginnings as a military BRAT with difficult family dynamics, to his formative years in boarding school and university, to the moment when he hit the stage for the first time.
By: Tim Curry
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Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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Jim Gaffigan is in top form for his seventh comedy special. The four-time Grammy nominated comedian doesn’t understand why we aren’t more honest about the reasons we don’t want to attend events, while at the same time embraces lying to kids. From horses and dog birthdays to traveling and museums, Jim continues to impress. Get ready to sit back and enjoy some Quality Time with Jim Gaffigan!
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This is just one of his comedy shows
- By Virginia Snyder on 08-21-20
By: Jim Gaffigan