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Big Dumb Eyes
Stories from a Simpler Mind
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Narrated by:
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Nate Bargatze
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By:
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Nate Bargatze
About this listen
One of the hottest stand-ups working today, Nate Bargatze brings his everyman comedy to life in this hilarious collection of personal stories, opinions, and confessions.
Nate Bargatze used to be a genius. That is, until the summer after seventh grade when he slipped, fell off a cliff, hit his head on a rock, and “my brain got, like, dented or something.” Before this accident, he dreamed of being “an electric engineer, or a brain doctor, or maybe a math person who does like, math things for a living.” Afterwards, a voice in his head told him, “It’s okay. You’re dumb now. All you got is standup.”* But the “math things’ industry’s loss is our gain because Nate went on to become one of today’s top-grossing comedians who breaks both attendance and streaming records.
In his highly anticipated first book, Nate talks about life as a non-genius. From stories about his first car (named Old Blue, a clunky Mazda with a tennis ball for a stick shift), life as a Southerner (Northerners constantly ask him things like, do you believe in dinosaurs?), and his first apartment where a rat chewed a hole right through the wall to how his wife keeps him in line and so much more. He also reflects on such topics as Vandy football and the origins of sushi (how can a Philadelphia roll be from old-time Japan?).
Nate’s book is full of heart and it will make readers laugh out loud and nod in recognition, but it probably won’t make them think too much.
*Nate’s family disputes this entire story
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-
Story
Born and raised on the streets of Southtown, two exits from the Mexico border, Sonny Sandoval was always going to go his own way. And as frontman of the platinum selling nu metal band P.O.D.—a group too Christian for the world and too secular for the church—he has broken every mold, defied every expectation, and reached into the hearts and minds of hundreds of thousands of people who wanted to belong to something but never felt like they fit in.
By: Sonny Sandoval, and others
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I'll Have What She's Having
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At ten years old, Chelsea opened a lemonade stand and realized she’d make more money if the drinks were spiked. So she added vodka to her recipe and used her earnings to upgrade herself to first-class on a family vacation—leaving her parents and siblings in coach. At nineteen, she moved to Los Angeles and got fired from her temp job when she admitted she didn’t know how to transfer calls. She played pickleball with the scions of an American dynasty. She sexted a governor. She shared psychedelics with strangers in Spain.
By: Chelsea Handler
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Uptown Girl
- A Memoir
- By: Christie Brinkley
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1974, a twenty-year-old Christie Brinkley was “discovered” outside a Paris phone booth, which set off a meteoric modeling career that would land her on the covers of hundreds of magazines and cement her legacy as an All-American icon. Although she’s lived more than fifty years in the public eye, the full story of her roller-coaster life has never been told. Now, for the first time, Christie shares what life has been like, both in front of and behind the cameras
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Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
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Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
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My Next Breath
- A Memoir
- By: Jeremy Renner
- Narrated by: Jeremy Renner
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Two-time Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner was the second most googled person in 2023… and not for his impressive filmography. His searing portrayals on film ranged from an Iraq-based army bomb technician in The Hurt Locker and a Boston bank robber in The Town to a crooked Camden mayor in American Hustle before he became heir to the Jason Bourne franchise (The Bourne Legacy). Amongst other iconic roles, he also captured hearts as fan-favorite comic book marksman Hawkeye in seven Marvel films.
By: Jeremy Renner
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Your Mom's Gonna Love Me
- By: Matt Rife
- Narrated by: Matt Rife
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Matt Rife is well aware that he’s both the most loved and the most controversial comic in America today. And honestly, he thinks that’s your problem. Matt reveals (without apology, of course) what led him to becoming comedy’s biggest lightning rod before he reached thirty, in a story full of bold and hysterical takes on everything from Justin Bieber tramp stamps and rap battles with ex-cons to Matt’s struggles with depression and his many brushes with failure before finally hitting it big.
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My new favorite autobiography
- By Amazon Customer on 12-10-24
By: Matt Rife
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Son of Southtown
- My Life Between Two Worlds
- By: Sonny Sandoval, Jon Foreman - foreword
- Narrated by: Sonny Sandoval
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Born and raised on the streets of Southtown, two exits from the Mexico border, Sonny Sandoval was always going to go his own way. And as frontman of the platinum selling nu metal band P.O.D.—a group too Christian for the world and too secular for the church—he has broken every mold, defied every expectation, and reached into the hearts and minds of hundreds of thousands of people who wanted to belong to something but never felt like they fit in.
By: Sonny Sandoval, and others
-
I'll Have What She's Having
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At ten years old, Chelsea opened a lemonade stand and realized she’d make more money if the drinks were spiked. So she added vodka to her recipe and used her earnings to upgrade herself to first-class on a family vacation—leaving her parents and siblings in coach. At nineteen, she moved to Los Angeles and got fired from her temp job when she admitted she didn’t know how to transfer calls. She played pickleball with the scions of an American dynasty. She sexted a governor. She shared psychedelics with strangers in Spain.
By: Chelsea Handler
-
Uptown Girl
- A Memoir
- By: Christie Brinkley
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1974, a twenty-year-old Christie Brinkley was “discovered” outside a Paris phone booth, which set off a meteoric modeling career that would land her on the covers of hundreds of magazines and cement her legacy as an All-American icon. Although she’s lived more than fifty years in the public eye, the full story of her roller-coaster life has never been told. Now, for the first time, Christie shares what life has been like, both in front of and behind the cameras
-
Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
-
-
Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
-
My Next Breath
- A Memoir
- By: Jeremy Renner
- Narrated by: Jeremy Renner
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Two-time Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner was the second most googled person in 2023… and not for his impressive filmography. His searing portrayals on film ranged from an Iraq-based army bomb technician in The Hurt Locker and a Boston bank robber in The Town to a crooked Camden mayor in American Hustle before he became heir to the Jason Bourne franchise (The Bourne Legacy). Amongst other iconic roles, he also captured hearts as fan-favorite comic book marksman Hawkeye in seven Marvel films.
By: Jeremy Renner
-
Your Mom's Gonna Love Me
- By: Matt Rife
- Narrated by: Matt Rife
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Matt Rife is well aware that he’s both the most loved and the most controversial comic in America today. And honestly, he thinks that’s your problem. Matt reveals (without apology, of course) what led him to becoming comedy’s biggest lightning rod before he reached thirty, in a story full of bold and hysterical takes on everything from Justin Bieber tramp stamps and rap battles with ex-cons to Matt’s struggles with depression and his many brushes with failure before finally hitting it big.
-
-
My new favorite autobiography
- By Amazon Customer on 12-10-24
By: Matt Rife
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Funny Because It's True
- How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire
- By: Christine Wenc
- Narrated by: Christine Wenc
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1988, a band of University of Wisconsin–Madison undergrads and dropouts began publishing a free weekly newspaper with no editorial stance other than “You Are Dumb.” Just wanting to make a few bucks, they wound up becoming the bedrock of modern satire over the course of twenty years, changing the way we consume both our comedy and our news. The Onion served as a hilarious and brutally perceptive satire of the absurdity and horrors of late twentieth-century American life and grew into a global phenomenon.
By: Christine Wenc
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In Gad We Trust
- A Tell-Some
- By: Josh Gad, Sacha Baron Cohen, Ron Howard, and others
- Narrated by: Josh Gad, Sacha Baron Cohen, Mel Brooks, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For the first and possibly last time, Josh Gad dives into a wide array of personal topics: the lasting impact of his parents’ divorce; how he struggled with weight and self-image; his first big break; how everyone was sure his most successful ventures (both on the big screen and the stage) would fail; his take on fatherhood, and so much more.
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Emotional and Hilarious and Beautiful
- By Jessi on 02-21-25
By: Josh Gad, and others
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Why Nothing Works
- Who Killed Progress—and How to Bring It Back
- By: Marc J. Dunkelman
- Narrated by: David de Vries
- Length: 13 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
America was once a country that did big things—we built the world’s greatest rail network, a vast electrical grid, interstate highways, abundant housing, the Social Security system, the Tennessee Valley Authority, and more. But today, even while facing a host of pressing challenges—a housing shortage, a climate crisis, a dilapidated infrastructure—we feel stuck, unable to move the needle. Why?
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Mark Twain
- By: Ron Chernow
- Narrated by: Jason Culp
- Length: 48 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer Ron Chernow illuminates the full, fascinating, and complex life of the writer long celebrated as the father of American literature, Mark Twain.
By: Ron Chernow
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On Air
- The Triumph and Tumult of NPR
- By: Steve Oney
- Narrated by: Stephen Graybill, Steve Oney
- Length: 20 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Founded in 1970, NPR is America’s most powerful broadcast news network. Despite being overshadowed by the larger and more glamorous PBS, public radio has long been home to shows such as All Things Considered, Morning Edition, and This American Life that captivate millions of listeners in homes, cars, and workplaces across the nation.
By: Steve Oney
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It's Only Drowning
- A True Story of Learning to Surf and the Pursuit of Common Ground
- By: David Litt
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After moving from Washington, DC, to the Jersey Shore, a former speechwriter for President Obama starts surfing at the age of thirty-five—the rough equivalent of beginning guitar lessons on your deathbed—and must turn for help to the only other surfer he knows: a tattooed, truck-driving, Joe Rogan superfan who happens to be his brother-in-law.
By: David Litt
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The Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Book
- By: Jerry Seinfeld, Full Cast
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Over eleven seasons and eighty-four episodes, Jerry Seinfeld drove around in classic cars, grabbing coffee and chatting with the funniest people alive. The result was not only a hilarious collection of casual yet intimate conversations but arguably the most important historical archive about the art of comedy ever amassed. Now that archive is preserved in the form of a carefully curated audiobook collection of excerpts from the show. Seinfeld has handpicked the show’s keenest insights and funniest exchanges.
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meh
- By Anonymous User on 07-14-23
By: Jerry Seinfeld, and others
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What in the World?!
- A Southern Woman's Guide to Laughing at Life's Unexpected Curveballs and Beautiful Blessings
- By: Leanne Morgan
- Narrated by: Leanne Morgan
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For a long time, no one pulling the strings in the comedy world thought that a woman over fifty from rural Tennessee could make it in the industry. But Leanne Morgan has defied the odds, reaching millions with her musings on hormones, low-rise britches, Weight Watchers, and her opposites-attract relationship with her husband, Chuck. In her charming southern accent, Morgan brings listeners inside her quest to find her voice after spending many years trying to figure out what that meant.
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Required for all females & husbands
- By Lindsey Richey on 10-14-24
By: Leanne Morgan
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Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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Good Time Girl
- By: Heather Gay
- Narrated by: Heather Gay
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With her “thoughtful, smart, and funny” (Kirkus Reviews) writing, Heather recounts the humorous trysts, mishaps, and serendipitous success she’s found as a life-long reveler in all things indulgent. From illicit high school trips to Tijuana and awkward dates set up by her overzealous costars, Good Time Girl is a charming and intimate meditation on community, love, independence, womanhood, and—most importantly—second chances.
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The True storyline
- By Debbie Bird on 01-23-25
By: Heather Gay
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Life Is a Lazy Susan of Sh*t Sandwiches
- By: Jennifer Welch, Angie Sullivan
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Long before their blockbuster podcast, I’ve Had It, Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan were simply two best friends, supporting each other through the ups and downs of life. Together they’ve celebrated family milestones and cheered on professional successes, but they’ve weathered the storms together too. When Jennifer’s husband battled alcoholism and drug addiction, she turned to Angie for support. When Angie’s own marriage began to crumble, she turned to Jennifer. And crucially, through it all they’ve kept one another laughing in stitches.
By: Jennifer Welch, and others
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Self-Care(ish) Sanity Hacks
- A Humorous Guide to Surviving the Chaos of Everyday Life
- By: Avery Wells
- Narrated by: LB Neibaur
- Length: 3 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Are you too busy to breathe, let alone meditate? Overwhelmed by the idea of self-care routines that require hours, expensive candles, or pretending to like kale smoothies? Self-Care(ish) Sanity Hacks is here to help. This hilarious and practical guide skips the fluff and gets straight to self-care hacks that actually fit into a busy life—because you deserve to feel human, even if your schedule disagrees.
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Self -Care That Fits
- By Jameson on 01-05-25
By: Avery Wells