Can't Spell Treason Without Tea
Tomes & Tea, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Jessica Threet
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By:
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Rebecca Thorne
About this listen
“The sapphic romance is brought to the forefront through Jessica Threet’s emotional depth and compelling lilt.”—Booklist
In the tradition of Legends & Lattes, comes a cozy fantasy steeped in sapphic romance about one of the Queen’s private guards and a powerful mage who want to open a bookshop and live happily ever after…if only the world would let them.
All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters… all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy.
But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. Meanwhile, Kianthe has been waiting for a chance to flee responsibility–all the better that her girlfriend is on board. Together, they settle in Tawney, a town nestled in the icy tundra near dragon country, and open the shop of their dreams.
What follows is a cozy tale of mishaps, mysteries, and a murderous queen throwing the realm’s biggest temper tantrum. In a story brimming with hurt/comfort and quiet fireside conversations, these two women will discover just what they mean to each other… and the world.
A Macmillan Audio production from Bramble Books.
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Ryder, Garrett, Kenzo, and Diesel - The Vipers. Their deals are as sordid as their business, and their reputation is enough to bring a grown man to his knees, forcing him to beg for mercy. They are not people you mess with, yet my dad did. The old man ran up a debt with them and then sold me to cover his losses. Yes, sold me. They own me now. I’m theirs in every sense of the word. But I’ve never been meek and compliant.
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Shrek
- By Shemika Holmes on 02-25-21
By: K.A. Knight
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Merry Ever After
- Under the Mistletoe Collection
- By: Tessa Bailey
- Narrated by: Summer Morton, Connor Crais
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Evie Crowe is starting over in a strange town with her newborn, and men are the furthest thing from her mind. If only the quiet, hulking farmer, Luke Ward, would stop coming into the thrift shop and piquing her reluctant interest. Evie wants to stay single all the way—she can’t trust anything more than friends-with-holiday-benefits. But Luke is in it for the long haul. He’s fixed on making this a Christmas Evie will remember forever. If she gives him a chance.
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An ode to his monster Yule log.
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-13-24
By: Tessa Bailey
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Drop Dead
- By: Lily Chu
- Narrated by: Phillipa Soo, John Cho
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Obituary writer Nadine Barbault doesn’t mind being called “Lady Death”. It suits the ice queen persona she’s cultivated to survive the fast-paced Toronto Herald. So when Nadine learns that famous (and reclusive) author Dot Voline has died, she doesn’t hesitate to run the obituary…only to discover that Dot is very much alive. Nadine’s screw-up has brought Wesley Chen of the rival Spear no end of joy—she’s been a thorn in his extremely ambitious side for years. But the renewed interest in Dot also surfaced chatter about a mysterious past scandal.
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Clean and sweet
- By Momma Nae on 08-02-24
By: Lily Chu
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Holiday Hideaway
- A Short Story
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Tilly Farriday isn’t feeling very jolly this season. Recently divorced and broke, she’s squatting in one of her rental agency’s properties until her new home is ready. The sprinkles on top of the burnt Christmas cookie that is her life? The new owner shows up early, forcing Tilly to hide in the attic to save her job…and what remains of her dignity.
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I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-31-24
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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Nocticadia
- By: Keri Lake
- Narrated by: Aaron Shedlock, Stella Hunter
- Length: 18 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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After watching my mother succumb to a mysterious illness, I promised myself two things. I'd find the cure for what ravaged her and leave the godforsaken city where she abandoned me. Four years later, I received an acceptance letter from Dracadia University, one of the oldest most prestigious schools in the country. Nestled on a secluded island off the coast of Maine, it's rumored to be haunted by the souls of the mental patients exiled there centuries before, those whose bones are said to make up the island's white sandy shores. And restless ghosts aren't even its most daunting peculiarity.
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Good but a slight miss
- By Destinyreadsbooks on 01-17-24
By: Keri Lake
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Mr. and Mrs. Christmas
- By: Michelle Stimpson
- Narrated by: Marcella Cox, Ian Hackney
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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There's no place like home for the holidays ... especially for Lesley Carver. Life in the big city just wasn't her jam and now she's back in Hickory Falls, working at the family diner and helping her mom after she took a tumble. Lesley longs to build a life here, working at the cafe, selling her handmade ornaments and ... er, apparently reviving her high school crush on her best friend’s older brother. Only one problem, her mom wants her to leave Hickory Falls far behind.
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Loved the book!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-15-24
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All by My Elf
- Under the Mistletoe Collection
- By: Olivia Dade
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Nina and William are underpaid adjunct professors at the same university, where winter break is no break at all: ’tis the season to make extra money. When their holiday side hustle has them stranded by a blinding blizzard in the middle of nowhere, there’s nothing to do but cuddle up for warmth and play a game of Never Have I Ever to pass the time. But in the game of love, secrets never stay secret for long…
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A cool, considerate romance
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-13-24
By: Olivia Dade
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sweet cottagecore Sapphic romance
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Intriguing but flawed - still recommended!
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Boring romance fantasy action?????
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Twenty-one-year-old Marigold Claude has always preferred the company of the spirits of the meadow to any of the suitors who’ve tried to woo her. So when her grandmother whisks her away to the family cottage on the tiny Isle of Innisfree with an offer to train her as the next Honey Witch, she accepts immediately. But her newfound magic and independence come with a price: No one can fall in love with the Honey Witch. When Lottie Burke, a notoriously grumpy skeptic who doesn’t believe in magic, shows up on her doorstep, Marigold can’t resist the challenge to prove to her that magic is real.
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After 20 years defending the frozen north against some of the most dangerous threats in the nine kingdoms, Rhoren “Bloodbane” has finally earned his retirement. While the blood mage's service to the realm may have ended, burning veins and aching joints remain, and Rhoren soon learns that a warmer climate offers relief from his chronic pain.
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Cozy book to have a cocktail with
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Alchemy and a Cup of Tea
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On the night of her kidnapping, all Reyna wanted was a relaxing cup of tea. She didn’t expect to be dropped in a hidden cell, but what the hells. She’s flexible. When Kianthe “rescues” her wife, she expects they’ll be back at New Leaf having tea by noon. But there’s a problem: an alchemy circle marred Reyna’s cell. What does a radical group of alchemists want with the Queendom’s newest sovereign… and why did they think they could get away with this?
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A Fellowship of Bakers & Magic
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In the heart of Adenashire, where elfish enchantments and dwarven delights rule, Arleta Starstone, a human confectionist works twice as hard perfecting her unique blend of baking and apothecary herbs. So when an orc neighbor secretly enters her creations into the prestigious Elven Baking Battle, Arleta faces a dilemma. Being magicless, her participation in the competition could draw more scowls than smiles. And if Arleta wants to prove her talent and establish her culinary reputation, this human will need more than just her pastry craft to sweeten the odds.
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Baking and Books!? What could go wrong?
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The Spellshop
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She and her assistant, Caz, a magically sentient spider plant, have spent the last eleven years sequestered among the empire’s most precious spellbooks, preserving their magic for the city’s elite. But when a revolution begins and the library goes up in flames, she and Caz save as many books as they can carry and flee to a faraway island Kiela was sure she’d never return to: her childhood home.
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Listening to Hours of Fretting
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When the fourth princess of Istalam is due to dedicate herself to a path serving the crown, she makes a choice that shocks everyone, herself most of all: She leaves. In hiding and exiled from power, Miyara finds her place running a tea shop in a struggling community that sits on the edge of a magical disaster zone. But there's more brewing under the surface of this city—hidden magic and hidden machinations—that threaten all the people who've helped her make her own way.
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Quiet but capturing...
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An Adventure Brewing
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Pete is a simple man who enjoys a good drink amongst good friends. Not too much to ask, right? Now, he's trapped in a fantasy world far from home, stuck underground and inside the body of a smelly dwarf with fantastic facial hair. The worst part? The swill that the dwarves are falling all over themselves to drink. It's flat, it's watery, and it has the alcohol content of a rancid coconut. Can Pete save the dwarves from their own sour fate, or will he be forever doomed to plink his pickaxe away in hopes that he hits the motherlode?
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Glorious beards!
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Two potion shops, one heated rivalry…until hate bubbles over into something else. Any adventurer worth their sword knows about Ambrose Beake. The proud, quiet half-elf sells the best, and only, potions in the city—until a handsome new shopkeeper named Eli opens another potion shop across the street, throwing Ambrose’s peace and ledgers far off balance.
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HORRIBLE NARRATOR DONT BUY THIS
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I Ran Away to Evil: A Cozy LitRPG Rom-Com
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Performance
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Story
Henrietta Doryn has never enjoyed fighting. She'd rather be in the kitchen baking cookies. But it's her duty as Warrior Princess to face off against the forces of evil. As such, she's unceremoniously shooed from her kingdom to go eliminate the all-powerful Dark Lord next door. Keith Monfort has never enjoyed ruling with an iron fist. He'd prefer to be in his workroom tinkering with practical magic. But it's his duty to lead the Dark Enchanted Forest and the forces of evil. So when Henrietta shows up at his door, he's only too happy to invite her in for tea to talk it out instead.
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A Lovely Cozy with Depth
- By Bethany F on 04-28-24
By: Mystic Neptune
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The Weary Dragon Inn Books 1-3
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Story
Warm beds, quaint mysteries, and the best rosemary bread this side of Pigsend Creek. Welcome to the Weary Dragon Inn. Bev may not know who she was before she showed up in the quaint village of Pigsend five years ago, but that doesn’t bother her much. She’s made a tidy little life for herself as the proprietor of the Weary Dragon Inn, where the most notable event is when she makes her famous rosemary bread.
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Fun and cute little story
- By FMC on 10-21-24
By: S. Usher Evans
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Bride of the Elven Innkeeper
- A Cozy Lesbian Romance in the Tavern
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Performance
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Story
Running a successful inn is hard work. There are customers to check in, food to prepare, horses to stable, and much more for Lucia to juggle. The crystal elf spends her days working 16-hour shifts to keep the Flying Filly in business. There's little time for a life outside of work beyond what quiet moments she finds before bed to crack open a book. And if there's no time for hobbies or social events, Lucia definitely has no room in her schedule for romance.
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Cozy Lesbian Romance
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By: Autumn Wolff
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The Phoenix Keeper
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Overall
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Performance
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As head phoenix keeper at a world-renowned zoo for magical creatures, Aila's childhood dream of conserving critically endangered firebirds seems closer than ever. There's just one glaring caveat: her zoo's breeding program hasn't functioned for a decade. When a tragic phoenix heist sabotages the flagship initiative at a neighboring zoo, Aila must prove her derelict facilities are fit to take the reins. But saving an entire species from extinction requires more than stellar animal handling skills. Carnivorous water horses, tempestuous thunderhawks, mischievous dragons.
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I hated all the foul language.
- By Matthew Hanson on 10-21-24
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A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter, and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance. But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries.
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A tour de force unimaginably good
- By Joella Berkner on 10-21-21
By: T. Kingfisher
What listeners say about Can't Spell Treason Without Tea
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sara Cooper
- 07-08-24
Great characters, and wonderful voice work!
This is such a cute story, with a pleasantly surprising amount of plot and intrigue that I wasn’t expecting! I love the way the main relationship is written, and the naturalness of pretty much all the dialogue. I also appreciated that al the characters in the story feel like real people with their own histories, without weighing down the plot. The worldbuilding is subtle enough to allow for natural discovery by the reader, and when exposition is given, it feels interesting and earned. The voice actor is also wonderful, and brings the already-individualized personalities of the main and side characters to life!
All in all, an enjoyable, cozy read that I’ll definitely be revisiting!
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- David Tousey
- 06-18-24
A Cozy Cup of Tea
A wonderful, punny, and well steeped romantic story! Absolutely love the pace of the story and a mix of cozy with a bit of adventure!
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- Lei
- 07-27-24
Cozy and Adventurous
I loved this book so thoroughly. I think what really got me hooked was the fact that it wasn’t the beginning of a love story, when you meet the main characters, they’re already in love. They’re choosing to make their life happen and it’s really a beautiful story.
Pre ordered the next book already 💙
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- jgames111
- 10-19-24
Cozy escape from execution and facing dragons.
A suprisingly aggressively delightful and cozy fantasy story of a lesbian mage and guard escape to a small town. I was just thinking of my favorite lesbian couple and realized that too often we only see the path to them getting together rather than spending their time together, and that too bad because then you miss really good chemistry that the couple have in this story. Just enough tension and charm to keep reader engage while being cozy. Also huge prop to the narrator for doing an awesome job as well as the author of course for the writing.
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- LF
- 05-12-24
Cute, cozy, flirty and with stakes.
Legends and Lates but with more emotional fluency and higher stakes. Narrator disnt just read it, she PERFORMED it.
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- Jennie
- 05-18-24
A fantastic Cozy Saphic book
I adored this book. I've been struggling to find a good book recently and this one was definetly my cup of tea. I devoured it. Definetly a fantastic cozy read.
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- Heather
- 06-17-24
Cozy Fantasy at its best!
This book is so well crafted. The characters are lovable and unique. It is easy for the reader to become invested in their lives and their funny quirks. Way better than Legends and Lattes!
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- Elizabeth Greene
- 10-07-24
Very sweet!
I have been in some not so good relationships in the past and this reminds me just how worth it , it is to wait for someone who treats you well. Very sweet, realistic, good friendship between the leads and not just romance.
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- Shannon Brown
- 06-06-24
Very cute!
Has the perfect combination of cozy and chaos <3
I thought a cozy book might be boring, but this was far from it. Great world building, characters with depth, loads of humor and creaative conflict that wasn't always of the violent sort. The narrator has a clear and lovely voice, and somehow performs splound effects really well. Overall this was a refreshingly wonderful listen!
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Story
- Dot
- 08-14-24
Cute story
Cute story about two ladies that just want to live their best life. Nice world building and good narration.
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