Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture
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Narrated by:
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Peggy Orenstein
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By:
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Peggy Orenstein
About this listen
Pink and pretty or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as a source - the source - of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages.
But, realistically, how many times can you say no when your daughter begs for a pint-size wedding gown or the latest Hannah Montana CD? And how dangerous is pink and pretty anyway - especially given girls' successes in the classroom and on the playing field? Being a princess is just make-believe, after all; eventually they grow out of it. Or do they? Does playing Cinderella shield girls from early sexualization - or prime them for it? Could today's little princess become tomorrow's sexting teen? And what if she does? Would that make her in charge of her sexuality - or an unwitting captive to it?
Those questions hit home with Peggy Orenstein, so she went sleuthing. She visited Disneyland and the international toy fair, trolled American Girl Place and Pottery Barn Kids, and met beauty pageant parents with preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. She dissected the science, created an online avatar, and parsed the original fairy tales. The stakes turn out to be higher than she - or we - ever imagined: nothing less than the health, development, and futures of our girls. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable - yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.
Cinderella Ate My Daughter is a must-read for anyone who cares about girls, and for parents helping their daughters navigate the rocky road to adulthood.
©2011 Peggy Orenstein (P)2012 HarperCollins PublisherListeners also enjoyed...
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Today, feminism is no longer a dirty word, and women purporting to stand up for women's equality now include high-powered names like Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, and Emma Watson. Hip underwear lines sell granny pants with "feminist" emblazoned on the back. In every bookstore, there are scores of seductive feminist how-to business guides telling women how to achieve "it all".
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Fantastic book despite shoddy narration
- By Seth H. Wilson on 05-19-16
By: Andi Zeisler
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90s Bitch
- Media, Culture, and the Failed Promise of Gender Equality
- By: Allison Yarrow
- Narrated by: Allison Yarrow
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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To understand how we got here, we have rewind the VHS tape. 90s Bitch tells the real story of women and girls in the 1990s, exploring how they were maligned by the media, vilified by popular culture, and objectified in the marketplace. Trailblazing women like Hillary Clinton, Anita Hill, Marcia Clark, and Roseanne Barr were undermined. Newsmakers like Monica Lewinsky, Tonya Harding, and Lorena Bobbitt were shamed and misunderstood. The advent of the 24-hour news cycle reinforced society's deeply entrenched sexism.
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A surprising look back
- By Laura on 02-05-24
By: Allison Yarrow
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Flapper
- A Madcap Story of Sex, Style, Celebrity, and the Women Who Made America Modern
- By: Joshua Zeitz
- Narrated by: Daniella Rabbani
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Blithely flinging aside the Victorian manners that kept her disapproving mother corseted, the New Woman of the 1920's puffed cigarettes, snuck gin, hiked her hemlines, danced the Charleston, and necked in roadsters. More important, she earned her own keep, controlled her own destiny, and secured liberties that modern women take for granted. Her newfound freedom heralded a radical change in American culture.
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Good Book, Poor Performance
- By redsrule1 on 03-16-14
By: Joshua Zeitz
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Manhood for Amateurs
- The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son
- By: Michael Chabon
- Narrated by: Michael Chabon
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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As a devoted son, as a passionate husband, and above all as a father, Chabon's memories of childhood, of his parents' marriage and divorce, of moments of painful adolescent comedy and giddy encounters with the popular art and literature of his own youth, are like a theme played by the mad quartet of which he now finds himself co-conductor. At once dazzling, hilarious, and moving, Manhood for Amateurs is destined to become a classic.
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Terrible
- By Ken on 10-14-09
By: Michael Chabon
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Paperback Crush
- The Totally Radical History of '80s and '90s Teen Fiction
- By: Gabrielle Moss
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and nostalgic trip through the history of paperback preteen series of the '80s and '90s. Every 20- or 30-something woman knows these books. The pink covers, the flimsy paper, the zillion volumes in the series that kept you reading for your entire adolescence. Paperback Crush dives in deep to this golden age with affection, history, and a little bit of snark.
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A trip down memory lane.
- By Lila Fowler on 11-09-18
By: Gabrielle Moss
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
- By: Jessica Valenti
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Double standards are nothing new. Women deal with them every day. Take the common truism that women who sleep around are sluts while men are studs. Why is it that men grow distinguished and sexily gray as they age while women just get saggy and haggard? Have you ever wondered how a young woman is supposed to both virginal and provocatively enticing at the same time?
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A well acted intro to feminist consciousness
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-24
By: Jessica Valenti
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Growing Up Fisher
- Musings, Memories, and Misadventures
- By: Joely Fisher
- Narrated by: Joely Fisher
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Actress, director, entertainer Joely Fisher invites listeners backstage into the intimate world of her career and family with this hilarious, irreverent, down-to-earth memoir filled with incredible, candid stories about her life, her famous parents, and how the loss of her unlikely hero, sister Carrie Fisher, ignited the writer in her.
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Not what I thought it would be but I loved it.
- By Kristopher's Korner on 01-15-18
By: Joely Fisher
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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The Boy Who Loved Too Much
- A True Story of Pathological Friendliness
- By: Jennifer Latson
- Narrated by: Heather Auden
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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What would it be like to see everyone as a friend? Twelve-year-old Eli D'Angelo has a genetic disorder that obliterates social inhibitions, making him irrepressibly friendly, indiscriminately trusting, and unconditionally loving toward everyone he meets. It also makes him enormously vulnerable. Eli lacks the innate skepticism that will help his peers navigate adolescence more safely - and vastly more successfully.
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Williams Syndrome
- By Sharlotte on 09-20-19
By: Jennifer Latson
What listeners say about Cinderella Ate My Daughter
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jon
- 07-09-12
Engaging discourse about gender construction.
Would you consider the audio edition of Cinderella Ate My Daughter to be better than the print version?
Yes, it's a complicated topic, and the author reading the book makes the feminist dialogue easier to understand. It is more like having a conversation with Peggy, discussing opinions of gender instead of reading a long lecture.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Cinderella Ate My Daughter?
When she discusses allowing her daughter to have choice, instead of coercing her towards commercial femininity or coercing her away from it. I though that was a very relevant and poignant passage as eventually it's a complicated issue and her daughter can be as typically feminine princess-y as she wants.
What did you learn from Cinderella Ate My Daughter that you would use in your daily life?
That it's important to discuss commercialization of media with your children so they can on some level engage with the socialization of gender, instead of commanding them to present their gender one way or another.
Any additional comments?
Brilliant, thoroughly enjoyable.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Franchi
- 04-14-22
Excellent read
Mandatory reading for any parent that aspires for a better future for their girls and boys.
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- Lindsey R.
- 07-17-19
Thought provoking
Very interesting and thoughtful! A dive into how media influences girls perceptions of themselves and the world and how parents can thoughtfully guide their daughters (and sons) through the competing and mostly unfavorable media messages.
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- Sierra Rose Williams
- 08-02-16
I would recommend this book!
This book should be read by anyone who is raising a daughter and puts a whole new perspective on current social expectations.
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- Trudy Owens
- 04-09-16
are we limiting or broadening girls' options?
Unlike some authors, Orenstein does a great job reading her own work.
But this is actually a book you should read, underline, and take notes on, then reread. Then apply.
Orenstein is a great writer and has done homework to write this book, read research, psychological treatises, learned the history of baby dolls and Barbie dolls, done interviews with girls and their moms, experts on many subjects, and even analysed current and original versions of fairy tales.
Her analysis goes off into many, many areas, but always the question is Does this give girls more choices or fewer? Do current trends oversexualize girls, and how do females then develop healthy sexual relationships?
You really have to read (listen to) it to get it all, but some of the interesting things she concludes are:
*Princesses avoid female bonding. Only one girl can reign.
*The pink preponderance "fuses girls' identities to appearance."
*The current brainless glut of princess things leads not to fantasy, imagination, and increased self-worth, but rather to a manic dependence on appearance and consumerism.
*Shopping and appearance (nails, hair, makeovers) are the main mother-daughter bonding experiences.
Her discussion of original versions of fairy tales is fascinating, and the ways our modern movies have changed them disturbing. Speaking of these original tales, she says:
1. without adult female guidance, we may be "cultivating a legion of step-sisters--spoiled, self-centered materialists, superficially charming but without the depth or means for authentic transformation."
2. The prince is not the cause of Cinderella's transformation; rather, she is. And she asks the Prince to witness the woman she has been all along, and to accept her as she is. This ability for self-transformation is what we all want for our daughters after all.
Orenstein has spoken clearly on topics that concern me as a mother and grandmother, and, I am sure, many others as well. This book makes concrete some of the ideas that have been puzzling or disturbing us, so we are now better able to talk with our daughters and to make wise consumer choices.
I will be reading more by Orenstein. Bravo.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Crystal
- 10-03-16
A must read for moms with daughters!!!
Times have changed and it is so hard to keep up. We owe our daughters a chance to survive in this crazy but wonderful world.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-23-23
Must read for all!
Every Mom should read/listen to this. But it’s great even if you don’t have a daughter.
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- ‘Nette
- 03-13-15
Nice surprise
I was pleasantly surprised by the author's decision to invite her daughter to read the credit at the end, as this book is a documentation of the difficulties the author faces when raising a daughter in this world of ours. Talk about giving girls a voice! I also can't wait to hear what Peggy Orenstein thinks of Miley Cyrus now!
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- Laura Danger
- 07-21-20
Important read - great voice
Peggy is very easy to relate to. I appreciate her important conversations within the book and love her podcast. She sheds light on a lot of issues in a real way. I do wish there were a few more solutions proposed, but I enjoyed the book and would share with friends.
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- Marie
- 06-28-12
No solution just worry
Hide your daughters 'cause it's a big bad world out there in pink taffeta. For the positive, I learned some interesting bits of trivia about Disney princesses and European fairy tales. Otherwise I found it to be a big book of worry that offered few if any solutions of what to do about all the evils of modern American consumerist life that threatens to engulf girls in a pink tide of an unreal sense of self, princess fantasy, and an over reliance on looks over feelings. Okay, it is a dispatch from the "front lines" of girlie culture and not a guide book with any solutions. Best to follow this up with a book by an expert and not a journalist who can help parents move from the battle lines to more peaceful shores.
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10 people found this helpful