Consultation with a Vampire
How to Succeed in Evil, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Patrick E. McLean
About this listen
Edwin Windsor, Evil Efficiency Consultant, returns with his manic lawyer Topper and his faithful secretary in this prequel to How to Succeed in Evil. Edwin is approached by a vampire, who offers him the prospect of eternal life if Edwin will help him with the troubles the modern world has presented his kind. It's Edwin versus Nosferatu in this insightful satire of the highly exploited vampire genre.
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- Unabridged
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Meet Jake. A bit on the elderly side (he turns 201 in March), but you’d never suspect it. Nonstop sex and exercise will do that for you - and a diet with lots of animal protein. Jake is a werewolf, and after the unfortunate and violent death of his one contemporary, he is now the last of his species. Although he is physically healthy, Jake is deeply distraught and lonely.
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The Ennui of a Naughty Dog
- By Mel on 09-12-11
By: Glen Duncan
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Caged
- Caged, Book 1
- By: Amber Lynn Natusch
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After the death of her parents, Ruby awakens from a lifetime of shadows and finds herself alone, thrust into a world of lies, deceit, betrayal and the supernatural. As her quest for truth continues to come up short, she realizes that maybe some questions really are best left unanswered. When her true identity is finally unveiled, she is forced to choose between two of the mysterious men who continually seem to crop up in her life.She chooses poorly. Now abandoned, Ruby must learn to call on the darkness within to survive, or spend a hellish eternity imprisoned because of it.
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Amazing!!!
- By JettFountain on 07-18-14
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Low Town
- A Novel
- By: Daniel Polansky
- Narrated by: Rob Shapiro
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Drug dealers, hustlers, brothels, dirty politics, corrupt cops...and sorcery. Welcome to Low Town. In the forgotten back alleys and flophouses that lie in the shadows of Rigus, the finest city of the Thirteen Lands, you will find Low Town. It is an ugly place, and its champion is an ugly man. Disgraced intelligence agent. Forgotten war hero. Independent drug dealer. After a fall from grace five years ago, a man known as the Warden leads a life of crime, addicted to cheap violence and expensive drugs.
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Noir and fantasy walk into a bar...
- By Reviews by L on 12-16-15
By: Daniel Polansky
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An American Dream
- By: Norman Mailer
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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As Stephen Rojack, a decorated war hero and former congressman who murders his wife in a fashionable New York City high-rise, runs amok through the city in which he was once a privileged citizen, author Norman Mailer peels away the layers of our social norms to reveal a world of pure appetite and relentless cruelty. One part Nietzsche, one part de Sade, and one part Charlie Parker, An American Dream grabs the listener by the throat and refuses to let go.
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Mailers Immodest masterpiece
- By W C Woods on 07-02-20
By: Norman Mailer
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The Voice of the Night with Short Story, "Silence"
- By: Dean Koontz
- Narrated by: Pavi Proczko, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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No one could understand why Colin and Roy were best friends. Colin was so shy; Roy was so popular. Colin was fascinated by Roy - and Roy was fascinated by death. Then one day, Roy asked his timid friend: “You ever killed anything?” From that moment on, the two were bound together in a game too terrifying to imagine - and too irresistible to stop.
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can not believe dean koontz wrote this book
- By Anonymous User on 10-05-21
By: Dean Koontz
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Unwind
- Unwind Dystology, Book 1
- By: Neal Shusterman
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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After America’s Second Civil War, the Pro-Choice and Pro-Life armies came to an agreement. According to their Bill of Life, human life may not be terminated from the moment of conception until the age of thirteen. But between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, the child may be gotten rid of by their parent through a process called “unwinding.”
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Chilling, Scary, Difficult to Read
- By Joe on 11-11-20
By: Neal Shusterman
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Beneath a Blood Red Moon
- The Alliance Vampires, Book 1
- By: Heather Graham
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than a century, Maggie Montgomery has hidden her true nature from the humans around her. But when Lieutenant Sean Canady follows a trail of blood from a drained corpse to the door of her New Orleans boutique, the ethereal beauty realizes the comfortable life she’s made for herself is once again in danger.... Despite her fears that her secrets are no longer safe, it’s the past that could ultimately be Maggie’s undoing. Sean Canady, a Civil War hero, was the love of her life.
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Somewhat disappointing...
- By karen on 05-08-14
By: Heather Graham
What listeners say about Consultation with a Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- L.C.
- 04-23-15
Cruelly Delicious!
Be patient, the excellent story will surprise you with its logic and coldness. Kudos to the author. I can't wait Until the next evil consultant story. Maybe this one will be a werewolf. (If there will be a next story of course...hint hint!)
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- garethpa
- 02-22-15
Chuckles galore!
I enjoyed this book far more than I thought I would. Great storytelling, unforgettable characters, and a nice twist at the end.
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- eric
- 03-14-16
absolutely fabulous
this book taught me so many things about how to be maniacal manipulative so I suppose the best compliment I can give this is wonderful is thank you
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- Tim Norris
- 03-23-21
Still a great series
I need more, I've listened to these since they came out and would love a miniseries of these. Definitely worth the listen.
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- A. Sines
- 04-10-16
best storyteller since Robin Williams
Any additional comments?
Nowhere else have I found such a broad range of voices (except for maybe full audio productions and Robin Williams on a lovely rant).
After reading the reviews for this one, it’s obvious that the best way to enjoy Patrick McLean is to hear Patrick McLean.
For all those critical reviews begging for more, it’s a novella, guys. It’s a short, entertaining prequel. It’s supposed to be that way.
Even though I truly loved the story and want more myself, I do not want to read the story. I want Mr. McLean to tell me the story. So I'll have to wait for more How to Succeed in Evil.
I haven’t experienced any other book in this series. But apparently, others think the rest of them are even better than this little slice. Alas, I’ll just have to wait. I’ll have to adopt the patience of a vampire. (Wait, maybe I should kidnap Mr. McLean’s lawyer to get what I want. Hmmmm.)
I love the completely opposite take on vampires here. I mean, the idea of the vampire was a story that was supposed to scare the bejesus out of us, right? Then comes the twentieth century and the vision of the sexy, undeniable vampire. Then comes the twenty- first century where vampires love and sparkle.
Dark Shadows, the tv show is a bit before my time, but Johnny Depp’s version caught me because, well, Johnny Depp. And all I could see when hearing Barnabas was Johnny’s over the top make up and outdated assumptions of the world.
Part of me wondered, really sat and wondered, would a vampire have such a hard time adjusting? I mean, even though he’s lived a long time, how hard is it really to roll with the times, especially when you have the time to learn all kinds of things. OK, I’m still rolling that one over in my head.
At the end of the day, all I have to say is, just listen to Mr. McLean. That’s amazing in itself.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-22-19
Fun Read
An extremely clever and fun read. the author has a great sense of irony. Loved it!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-25-15
Witty, Acerbic, Elegant.
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
I would recommend this to all my friends. This book is a cure for the current juvenile vampire fetish.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Consultation with a Vampire?
Every time the protagonist and his sidekicks interact with the vampires.
Which character – as performed by Patrick E. McLean – was your favorite?
His secretary and the former nanny.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I laughed many times and wished I could be as eloquent as Mr. McLean.
Any additional comments?
Please, please record the next book in this series. Mr. McLean's writing style and performance are memorable and leave you wanting more.
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- joel
- 06-16-15
Exceptional! Hopefully more to come soon!
I very much enjoyed this story of this consultant of evil. As a buisness consultant myself, I was hooked. I look forward to listening to many more consultations between Edward and the evils of this world.
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- Karen
- 04-16-15
Funny
I liked the side kicks a lot. The old nanny and the midget lawyer were very funny. The main character... Not so much.
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- Ijw
- 11-16-18
old evil meets its match
When vampires ask advice from a man who serves heartless CEOs and lives without a soul, what can he expect? Old evil is not up to the competition with the new evil as mankind evolves.
Tightly written but leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
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1 person found this helpful