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An Unattractive Vampire
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
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Publisher's summary
Jim McDoniel's debut novel, An Unattractive Vampire, is a darkly comic urban fantasy of ancient horrors in suburban cities.
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good. Determined to reestablish his bloodstained reign, Yulric sets out to correct this disgusting turn of events or, at the very least, murder the person responsible.
With the help of part-vampire wannabe Amanda; Simon, the eight-year-old reincarnation of his greatest foe; and a cadre of ancient and ugly horrors, Yulric prepares to battle the glamorous undead. But who will win the right to determine, once and for all, what it truly means to be a vampire?
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Urban fantasy is a melting pot that borrows all the best elements from our favorite genres to create truly unique worlds where anything is possible. With components of paranormal, noir, suspense, mystery, thriller, romance, and (of course) fantasy, these stories are vivid and colorful, bursting with magic while remaining rooted in city settings we know and love. These titles range from romances and historical dramas to gritty noir mysteries, but they all have one thing in common: the perfect blend of reality and realms beyond, offering a sweep-you-off-your-feet story that will make your own world melt away.
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Story
My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
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Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
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Imperium
- Caulborn, Book 1
- By: Nicholas Olivo
- Narrated by: Ian McEuen
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Vincent Corinthos has two things going for him: he's a top operative of a secret agency tasked with handling paranormal threats, and he's half-god. Normally that's a combo that leaves him well-equipped to handle any problems that come his way. Until now. Something is snatching Boston's most powerful paranormal entities right off the streets. Vampires, lycanthropes, fae, gremlins - no one is safe. No ransom notes, no bodies, no witnesses.
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I enjoyed this audio book immensely!
- By Midwestbonsai on 06-27-16
By: Nicholas Olivo
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The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
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Darkfever
- Fever, Book 1
- By: Karen Marie Moning
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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MacKayla Lane's life is good. She has great friends, a decent job, and a car that breaks down only every other week or so. In other words, she's your perfectly ordinary 21st-century woman. Or so she thinks...until something extraordinary happens.
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Stick with it!
- By Dana on 01-27-11
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A Kiss Before the Apocalypse
- A Remy Chandler Novel, Book 1
- By: Thomas E. Sniegoski
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Boston P.I. Remy Chandler has many talents. He can will himself invisible; he can speak and understand any foreign language (including the language of animals); and if he listens carefully, he can hear thoughts. Unusual, to say the least—for an ordinary man. But Remy is no ordinary man—he’s an angel. Generations ago, when he was known as the angel Remiel, he chose to renounce heaven and live on Earth.
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Great story worth the listen!
- By Christopher on 02-06-12
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Blood Price
- Blood, Book 1
- By: Tanya Huff
- Narrated by: Justine Eyre
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Vicki Nelson, formerly of Toronto’s homicide unit and now a private detective, witnesses the first of many vicious attacks that begin plaguing the city of Toronto. As death follows unspeakable death, Vicki, in an attempt to stop these forces of dark magic, is forced to renew her relationship with her former partner, Mike Celluci - along with another, unexpected ally…. Henry Fitzroy, the illegitimate son of King Henry VIII, has learned over the course of his life how to blend with humans; how to deny the call for blood in his veins.
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Off to a Good Start
- By Jennifer on 03-28-12
By: Tanya Huff
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The Demonists
- Demonist Series, Book 1
- By: Thomas E. Sniegoski
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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It was supposed to be a simple exorcism, a publicity stunt to firmly establish John and Theodora's thriving paranormal investigation empire in the public eye. But something went wrong, leading to an on-air massacre that unleashed a malicious host of demons and left Theodora catatonic, possessed by countless spirits.
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Meh
- By Brian Allen on 04-18-16
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The City of Lost Fortunes
- By: Bryan Camp
- Narrated by: Korey Jackson
- Length: 14 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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The post-Katrina New Orleans of The City of Lost Fortunes is a place haunted by its history and by the hurricane's destruction, a place that is hoping to survive the rebuilding of its present long enough to ensure that it has a future. Street magician Jude Dubuisson is likewise burdened by his past and by the consequences of the storm, because he has a secret: the magical ability to find lost things, a gift passed down to him by the father he has never known - a father who just happens to be more than human.
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Enchanting Creative Story
- By William on 09-02-18
By: Bryan Camp
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Grim Death and Bill the Electrocuted Criminal
- By: Mike Mignola, Thomas E. Sneigoski
- Narrated by: Paul Costanzo
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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From New York Times best-selling authors and illustrators Mike Mignola and Tom Sniegoski come two thrilling antiheroes: Grim Death and Bill the Electrocuted Criminal, battling against crime. An uneasiness festers upon the city streets, threatening the peace and safety of law-abiding citizens. A war is escalating, and it seems as though the good and righteous are being crushed beneath the unholy weight of evil's onslaught.
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A book with this title should have personality
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-28-24
By: Mike Mignola, and others
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314
- By: A. R. Wise
- Narrated by: Vanessa Johansson
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Alma Harper has been trying to forget what happened in Widowsfield 16 years ago. She has a good life as a music teacher now, and might rekindle her relationship with her one true love. However, the number 314 haunts her, and threatens to bring her back to the day that her brother disappeared. When a reporter shows up, just days before March 14th, Alma realizes that her past is coming back to haunt her. What happened on March 14th, at 3:14, 16 years ago? No one but The Skeleton Man can remember.
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Not what you think
- By Brandy Hall on 05-07-15
By: A. R. Wise
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Immortals: The Calling
- Immortals Series, Book 1
- By: Jennifer Ashley
- Narrated by: Rebecca Cook
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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He bursts into the battle, his leather jacket billowing and his huge silver sword flashing. Amber has no idea why this windswept warrior would rescue her, but there he is... fighting the same demon who’d killed her sister. Though he is a stranger, she immediately senses he’s come to protect her. And with the first touch of his lips on hers, she knows he is bound to her, his body meant for her. Yet the shadow of evil is spreading quickly....
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No brain required.
- By Womanhead on 06-15-14
By: Jennifer Ashley
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Caged
- Caged, Book 1
- By: Amber Lynn Natusch
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After the death of her parents, Ruby awakens from a lifetime of shadows and finds herself alone, thrust into a world of lies, deceit, betrayal and the supernatural. As her quest for truth continues to come up short, she realizes that maybe some questions really are best left unanswered. When her true identity is finally unveiled, she is forced to choose between two of the mysterious men who continually seem to crop up in her life.She chooses poorly. Now abandoned, Ruby must learn to call on the darkness within to survive, or spend a hellish eternity imprisoned because of it.
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Amazing!!!
- By JettFountain on 07-18-14
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
What listeners say about An Unattractive Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Franco Cavazos
- 08-27-16
good listen
The story and the narration were very well done.
It reminded me of Neil gaimans book Good Omens.
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20 people found this helpful
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- Alison
- 05-12-17
Better read than listened to.
Would you try another book from Jim McDoniel and/or Drew Campbell?
Author yes, narrator - no.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Simon. I think the character was underdeveloped though, and in general the backstories of the main characters were revealed a bit late in the book to put their actions in context.
Would you be willing to try another one of Drew Campbell’s performances?
Not inclined to. His timing was very odd, inserting pauses where they made no sense and throwing the cadence of the text off.
Could you see An Unattractive Vampire being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?
Yes - and no idea!
Any additional comments?
I liked the story a lot, but it felt a bit rushed in places and the pacing was a bit uneven.
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5 people found this helpful
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- My 50 cents
- 09-16-16
Refreshing!!!
An old fashioned vampire in an age of modern vampires. i like it a lot. I hope that this is just the beginning of a new series. It reminds me of the old Hammer vampire movies which I grew up with. Please give us more. Something more to sink our teeth into.
As far as the audiobook. it is a very easy listen. The narrator is able to give each character his or her own unique voice. One of the best narrations I have ever listened to.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Sandra
- 04-24-17
I tried
I really tried to enjoy this book. I'm a truck driver, so anything to pass the time. However this just wasn't it. I did listen to the end, since I've misjudged books for the beginning half of it before, but it was just as bad.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lisa H
- 10-18-17
LOL
There's the line where the vampire notes that the child keeps slipping air fresheners, car air fresheners in his pockets funny.
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- Camille
- 08-22-17
New Vampire genre!!
I really liked this book, It was so funny! I hope there will be more to come.
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- brenda green
- 05-18-18
Hysterical
Such a hysterical take on how vampire stories have changed over the years. Clever story, well read.
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- Nikinak
- 11-11-17
A Fun Read
I truly enjoyed every second of this book. I was constantly giggling. Drew Campbell does so well giving the characters great personalities. I found Jim McDoniel's writing to be witty and best of all I wasn't right once when I assumed what might happen next. I really hope more of his work will be available soon.
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- Rajpaul S Grewal
- 11-03-17
Enjoyable
Good concept, good characters, plot could be better. I enjoyed it despite the flaws and would recommend it.
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- MARC H. TNJR
- 02-25-17
fun
fun book, great twist to horrible new genre that gets hammered in this story. liked the performance and characters and the fun ending...
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