Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline
Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties? One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales)
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Narrated by:
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Gary Furlong
About this listen
National Best Seller
ForeWord Humor Book of the Year
Benjamin Franklin Awards Humor Book of the Year
In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt - or, in this case, the dirty water - on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes listeners down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving listeners gasping with laughter as they're assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it's not passengers). And, of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange and seemingly impossible places.
Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential listening for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.
Don't miss the entire Cruise Confidential series:
- Cruise Confidential
- Ship for Brains
- Unsinkable Mister Brown
- High Seas Drifter
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Reunited in love after 35 years and suffering from a serious case of pre-retirement wanderlust, Lynne and Tim Martin made a life-altering decision: They sold their house and possessions and hit the road to live internationally full-time. Now tethered to nothing but their suitcases, each other, and their next exotic location, they've never looked back. From sky-high pyramids in Mexico to monkeys in Marrakech, this delightful, inspiring memoir is a romantic tale of derring-do for grown-ups and a road map for anyone who dreams of turning the idea of life abroad into a reality.
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She makes it sound SO unappealing!
- By Barbara on 05-18-14
By: Lynne Martin
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Death at the Chateau Bremont
- Verlaque and Bonnet Provençal Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: M.L. Longworth
- Narrated by: Christa Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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When local nobleman Étienne de Bremont falls to his death from the family château, it sets the historic town of Aix-en-Provence abuzz with rumors. The once-idyllic town suddenly seems filled with people who could have benefited from Bremont's death - including his playboy brother, François, who's heavily in debt and mixed up with some unsavory characters. But just as the list of suspects is being narrowed down, another death occurs. And this time, there can be no doubt - it's murder.
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Narrator is awful
- By F. Miller on 05-06-23
By: M.L. Longworth
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Love with a Chance of Drowning
- A Memoir
- By: Torre DeRoche
- Narrated by: Candice Moll
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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City girl Torre DeRoche isn’t looking for love, but a chance encounter in a San Francisco bar sparks an instant connection with a soulful Argentinean man who unexpectedly sweeps her off her feet. The problem? He’s just about to cast the dock lines and voyage around the world on his small sailboat, and Torre is terrified of deep water. However, lovesick Torre determines that to keep the man of her dreams, she must embark on the voyage of her nightmares, so she waves good-bye to dry land and braces for a life-changing journey that’s as exhilarating as it is terrifying.
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True Adventure and Romance--I Loved It!!
- By Kathy in CA on 09-08-15
By: Torre DeRoche
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Not Afraid of the Fall
- 114 Days Through 38 Cities in 15 Countries
- By: Kyle James
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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After purchasing one-way flights from New York City to Paris, Kyle James and his girlfriend Ashley quit their day jobs, planned futures, and daily paradigms to see as much of the world as they could. In 114 days, they trekked across 15 countries and 38 cities with nothing but their backpacks, their smartphones, and each other. Not Afraid of the Fall is the unvarnished story of their off-the-cuff journey: from cliff-jumping off Croatia's untouched coasts to bathing with rescued elephants in Thailand and far beyond.
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Poorly written, and straight up boring
- By Jon on 06-08-18
By: Kyle James
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Ten Beach Road
- By: Wendy Wax
- Narrated by: Amy Rubinate
- Length: 13 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Madeline, Avery, and Nikki are strangers to each other, but they have one thing in common. They each wake up one morning to discover their life savings have vanished, along with their trusted financial manager - leaving them with nothing but co-ownership of a ramshackle beachfront house. Throwing their lots in together, they take on the challenge of restoring the historic property. But just as they begin to reinvent themselves and discover the power of friendship, secrets threaten to tear down their trust.
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Terrible narrator
- By Kindle Customer on 10-17-18
By: Wendy Wax
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A Killer Plot
- Books by the Bay Mystery Series #1
- By: Ellery Adams
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Olivia Limoges is the subject of constant gossip. Ever since her mysterious return to the small coastal town of Oyster Bay, North Carolina, Olivia has kept to herself, her dog, and her unfinished novel. With a little cajoling from charming writer Camden Ford, she agrees to join the Bayside Book Writers to break her writer's block and even make a few friends. But when townspeople start turning up dead with haiku poems left by the bodies, anyone with a flair for language is suddenly suspect.
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My new favorite Cozy Mystery Series!
- By Christina on 09-21-15
By: Ellery Adams
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French Exit
- A Novel
- By: Patrick deWitt
- Narrated by: Lorna Raver
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Frances Price - tart widow, possessive mother, and Upper East Side force of nature - is in dire straits, beset by scandal and impending bankruptcy. Her adult son Malcolm is no help, mired in a permanent state of arrested development. And then there’s the Price’s aging cat, Small Frank, who Frances believes houses the spirit of her late husband, an infamously immoral litigator and world-class cad whose gruesome tabloid death rendered Frances and Malcolm social outcasts. Putting penury and pariahdom behind them, the family decides to cut their losses and head for the exit.
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deWitt deLivers Eccentric Quirky Characters
- By Liberty on 09-23-18
By: Patrick deWitt
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Scandal with a Prince
- By: Nicole Burnham
- Narrated by: Hollis McCarthy
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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One magical summer, Megan Hallberg met - and loved - Prince Stefano Barrali. But his royal duties took him home, and when she discovered she carried his child, she also discovered he was engaged...to a beautiful, worldly aristocrat.
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A beautifully written and performed story.
- By Kindle Reader on 11-01-16
By: Nicole Burnham
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Layover in Dubai
- A Novel
- By: Dan Fesperman
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Corporate auditor Sam Keller, careful to a fault, has decided to live it up for a change. And what better spot for business-class hedonism than the boomtown of Dubai, where resort islands materialize from open ocean, fortunes are made overnight, and skiers crisscross the snowy slopes of a shopping mall. But when a colleague is murdered during a night on the town, Sam soon finds himself waist-deep in a bewildering, lethal mix of mobsters, prostitutes, and crooked cops.
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Dubai Dubai Doo
- By itinerant on 02-14-12
By: Dan Fesperman
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First Impressions
- Fated Wings Series, Book 1
- By: C.R. Jane
- Narrated by: Nelson Hobbs, Felicity Munroe
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Eva Taylor has been locked in an attic for four years. Failed by the foster system, and left in the hands of a woman who hates her, and a man who wants her, Eva has given up hope of ever having a life. When she finds a mysterious letter from Rothmore College addressed to her in the trash, Eva's future suddenly comes alive. Now all she has to do is figure out a way to escape her attic prison, make her way across the country to New York City, and figure out all the things that point to the fact that she isn't exactly normal....
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beautiful story
- By Jamaho79Amazon Customer on 10-15-23
By: C.R. Jane
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Phantom Evil
- Krewe of Hunters, Book 1
- By: Heather Graham
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Cummings
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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A secret government unit is formed under the oversight of Adam Harrison, famed paranormal investigator. The case: In a historic mansion in New Orleans’ French Quarter, a senator’s wife falls to her death from a balcony. Most think she jumped, distraught over the loss of her young son. Some say she was pushed. And yet others believe she was beckoned by the ghostly spirits that inhabit the house - once the site of a serial killer’s grisly work.
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Surpisingly good!!
- By Shirley on 05-19-13
By: Heather Graham
What listeners say about Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Russell W. Engstrom
- 08-12-17
excellent
I enjoyed this story almost as much as "The truth about cruiseships". both are very entertaining.
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- Frank T. Corey
- 08-18-16
As real as it gets
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Loved this book. Read it and several of his others.
Who was your favorite character and why?
The unvarnished truth, the good the bad, and the funny as hell. Brian is the main character, and you get a sense of him through his narrative style. I've been waiting for this to come to audible, if you havent read any of Brian's other books seek them out. Wish he was still to Carnival when I was there
Any additional comments?
.....if he said holy cat one more time....
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- Wendy Gill
- 06-12-17
great narrator and storytelling
Very entertaining. The narrator is great with all the accents, the audio book is great for that over reading the paper version. The author is a great storyteller. I found out there are 3 more books from the series and can't wait to listen to them also.
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- DeeDee
- 04-13-18
I liked it better after I listened to it again
What made the experience of listening to Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline the most enjoyable?
It is fascinating to get an inside glimpse of what the crew experiences, the politics, the interactions.
What did you like best about this story?
The statistics at the end and the list of stupid questions cruisers ask made me laugh out loud.
Which scene was your favorite?
The scenes with his boss that show how unfair and prejudiced things can be.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
It made me want to travel on cruise lines that have the highest ratings from the crew. I want to travel on a line where people are treated as fairly as possible.
Any additional comments?
I have recommended this book to those who love to cruise.
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- Russ
- 05-26-16
Very interesting to see the curtain pulled back
Having been on a few cruises myself, I enjoyed learning what happens behind the scenes. It is a little eye opening about the crews living conditions and work schedule. Good book with an awesome narrator. When the narrator can do an accent within an accent...you know he is good.
This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of Audiobook Blast
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- Customer
- 01-18-23
Great tales of life on a cruise ship.
I loved the story of an American's escapades below decks in and on a cruise ship. I would have loved to hear follow up on some of the truly amazing things that happened but the stories generally just keep coming with little reference or regard for past incidents.
The story held my interest well but left me wanting more.
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- mr kieran j murphy
- 04-23-20
disjointed american centric and not well read
I am not sure if the disjointedness came from the book or a poor reading of it. there was no way to know ehen one chapter finished and another started. tge reading was monotoned in many ways and I for a guy who thinks he is wordly hr really did have that american chip on his shoulder.
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- Megan
- 08-30-18
Interesting and Engaging
When I heard about this book I did not know what to expect. After listening to some of it, I was hooked. The story moves along and tells you just enough about everything. It makes me really want to take a cruise now and watch to see if you can tell some of these things are happening.
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- in1ear (John Row)
- 04-20-16
SS POSEIDON / AMISTAD love child
What made the experience of listening to Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline the most enjoyable?
Wacky below decks behind the glamour expose. Exciting Enthusiastic narration.
What other book might you compare Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline to and why?
Elements of Kitchen Confidential by Bourdain, farcical elements a la M.A.S.H. by Hooker (nee) Hornberger. With some pinches of Toby Tyler by James Otis Kaler via Disney.
Which character – as performed by Gary Furlong – was your favorite?
The author / protagonist.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
I 95, Mama told me to see the world, but I should have stayed in school. Is that too long for a film title?
Any additional comments?
A whirlwind, insane insider look at Cruise Ship employee challenges. You wonder why there aren't more "man over board "accidents" involving ships' crew members. lol
I enjoyed Gary Furlong's upbeat narration.
Thank you for making this audiobook available.
This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of AudiobookBoom dot com."
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- Jessica
- 04-20-16
The title might have exaggerated the story a bit.
I picked this book up because of the title, but I think it might have exaggerated the story a bit. The writing is fun and there is plenty going on. But it does get a little repetitive after a while. There is very little "behind the scenes" talked about. Most of the stories actually happen in front of guests on the ship.
Gary Furlong did an excellent job narrating. I was a bit surprised Bruns didn't narrate his own story, but that's okay.
**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.**
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