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The Bitchy Waiter
- Tales, Tips & Trials from a Life in Food Service
- Narrated by: Darron Cardosa
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
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Publisher's summary
Millions of people have, at some point in their lives, waited tables. Some did it only in college or got out by sheer determination, good luck...or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole servers in restaurants packed with complaining patrons.
For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he's vented his frustrations on the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter.
A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales - about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant - that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.
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This outrageously entertaining and bawdy roman à clef from reality TV star Bethenny Frankel follows a business-savvy, would-be actress in hot pursuit of the perfect man, the perfect job, and the perfect body. Burning through men like she burns through calories, our sexy, loud-mouthed heroine grasps at any opportunity that might take her to the top. Listeners will jump at the chance to hear about the thrilling highs and cringe-worthy lows of Bethenny’s first shaky steps into adulthood, told here in a fictional format.
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An amusing story that may have already been told
- By Kimjnwa on 05-11-12
By: Bethenny Frankel
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Goodbye, Vitamin
- A Novel
- By: Rachel Khong
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Freshly disengaged from her fiancé and feeling that life has not turned out quite the way she planned, 30-year-old Ruth quits her job, leaves town, and arrives at her parents' home to find that situation more complicated than she'd realized. Her father, a prominent history professor, is losing his memory and is only erratically lucid. Ruth's mother, meanwhile, is lucidly erratic.
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Hello Sweet Sweet Book
- By Syd Young on 08-06-17
By: Rachel Khong
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Back to You
- Bad Boys of Red Hook, Book 1
- By: Robin Kaye
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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It would take a miracle for Storm Decker to return to Red Hook - or a tragedy. The neighborhood holds too many painful memories of his troubled childhood, along with the mistake that sent him running from the kindness of the ex-cop he'd come to consider his father. But when Pete suddenly falls ill, Storm is called home to face the past he tried to leave behind long ago. Breanna Collins never expected to see Storm again after he left town without a word, breaking her heart.
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Smexy Storm!!!
- By Candateshia Pafford on 03-14-13
By: Robin Kaye
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Face Off: Emile
- Nashville Sound, Book 1
- By: Alicia Hunter Pace
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Emile Giroux has vowed he will be everything his stepfather is not: cultured, charming, sophisticated, and - above all else - a rich, successful NHL star. One of the top goalies in the league, the French Canadian strives for more, still haunted by his troubled childhood. Amy Callahan was a freelance professional organizer until an ambitious, domineering boyfriend took over her life and cleaned out her bank account. When Emile finds Amy literally kicked to the curb, he seizes his latest chance to rescue a damsel in distress - only Amy doesn’t want to play that game.
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Adorable!
- By kestergayle on 08-24-18
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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Cooking as Fast as I Can
- A Chef’s Story of Family, Food, and Forgiveness
- By: Cat Cora
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In Cooking as Fast as I Can, Cat Cora reveals, for the first time, coming-of-age experiences from early childhood sexual abuse to the realities of life as a lesbian in the Deep South. She shares how she found her passion in the kitchen and went on to attend the prestigious Culinary Institute of America and apprentice under Michelin-star chefs in France. After her big break as a cohost on the Food Network's Melting Pot, Cat broke barriers by becoming the first-ever female Iron Chef.
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Great listen for a chef
- By Nikki on 04-10-24
By: Cat Cora
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Back of the House
- The Secret Life of a Restaurant
- By: Scott Haas
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Food writer and clinical psychologist Scott Haas wanted to know what went on inside the mind of a top chef - and what kind of emotional dynamics drove the fast-paced, intense interactions inside a great restaurant. To capture all the heat and hunger, he spent 18 months immersed in the kitchen of James Beard Award-winner Tony Maws's restaurant, Craigie on Main, in Boston. He became part of the family, experiencing the drama first-hand.
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Truly horrible narration
- By Fidge on 03-28-15
By: Scott Haas
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Pretty Much Screwed
- By: Jenna McCarthy
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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For Charlotte Crawford, the worst part about being dumped after 20 years of marriage is that her husband, Jack, doesn't want another woman; he just doesn't want her. Forty-two and clueless, Charlotte is a fish out of water in a dating pool teeming with losers. Just when she thinks she's finally put her failed marriage behind her, it comes back to bite her in the ass...hard. Without warning, Charlotte finds herself staring down the barrel of a future she wouldn't (she would totally) wish on her worst enemy.
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Meh
- By Miss Bishop on 10-31-16
By: Jenna McCarthy
What listeners say about The Bitchy Waiter
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jean
- 06-21-16
Hilarious
Cardosa said he started working in a restaurant while in high school. After college he continued in the industry while trying to make a career as a writer. He says he has worked in all types of restaurants, from neighborhood cafes, fast food to upscale celebrity chef spots and has worked all over the country.
The book has some funny stories about lousy tippers, obnoxious diners to misbehaved children. He also includes some dos and don’ts for diners which I thought were helpful. I could not believe that people would expect the waiter to run to a store to purchase something the restaurant did not provide on its menu or was out of that day. It is hard to believe the rudeness of people and in some ways the casual disregard is worse.
Cardosa said over two million people wait tables in this country. Cardosa says “Everyone should wait tables for three months. They’d understand what it’s like to have a job that’s considered subservient. People who’ve never been in that position don’t understand how easy it is to make someone feel degraded.”
I worked as a waitress while I was in high school; it is not a job I would care to do again. I did learn how tough the business world could be. The job greatly improved my memory as we were not allowed to write the orders down; we had to memorize them. Just think if you had six tables of four people each and everyone ordered something different. I have found that skill helpful over the years.
The book is well written and a delight to read. Cardosa did a good job narrating the book.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Jenn Lin
- 11-11-18
A hilarious account of serving tables
I loved every part especially the honesty of thoughts and the reality of what was said & the kids.
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- Kindle Customer
- 07-12-16
read his blog, the book was gŕeat. .
makes u thin ( about how u treat your servers.. Ďo the right thing, 20% minimum .
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- Ryan Alexander
- 06-08-16
Best Book Ever!!
Such a funny book! On top of the comedic stories, there are several heartwarming moments. This is the first book I have ever read that has made me literally laugh out loud. This is a must-read for anyone involved in the food service industry and an eye opener for anyone who isn't.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Gary & Jay
- 06-30-16
Well...he IS bitchy.
And also very funny. Insult-comic funny. Spit-take funny. Loved it.
If you want to laugh out loud and learn a little something about what your server is thinking when, for instance, you present a clean plate and jokingly say the food was just terrible, get this book. (Just in case you imagine (as I did) that you're the only person who thought of that little joke, you're not.)
Worth the credit for the fun.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-19-17
So many laughs!
If you could sum up The Bitchy Waiter in three words, what would they be?
Hospitality industry gold!
What did you like best about this story?
Darron is a wonderful author and narrator. He is hilarious and I love all his stories about the BS we all go through working in a restaurant.
Any additional comments?
If you're easily offended, and/or don't work in the restaurant industry, or are not willing to listen to real stories about asshole people, then you won't like this book. But, if you're in the industry and/or hate people, this is for you!
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1 person found this helpful
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- MamaK
- 10-03-17
Starts off ok then loses me...
When the author just tells stories about his experiences, the book is amusing. Yes he tilts towards being really negative, but he's got "bitchy" right in the title, so... When he gets to the last chapter he reads these weird, pointless fictional stories that he has created based on his waiting experiences, ie he is a waiter at a dinner with Christ and the Apostles where Christ turns water into wine. All of these stories are not very good and hard to get through. He should stick to what he does best and tell stories about his real experiences as a waiter... This book was a decent time-waster, but in truth I could take it or leave it...
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- Kari Delaney
- 06-15-22
Must listen for service industry friends
I’ve been a fan of Bitchy Waiter for years, and often find myself on his page after a long day of waiting tables. This audiobook made me laugh, cry, and fume because I related to every piece of content. 10/10, absolutely loved it.
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- Kim B
- 06-23-16
So many hearty belly laughs!
I can go on and on with all the hilarious tales in Darron's book. Plenty of welcomed snark throughout and my favorite, a heartwarming story about an elderly couple. If you can relate at all to the everyday tribulations of server or retail life, I highly recommend this wonderful book! It's best on audio to get the highest listening experience, but I'm pretty sure I'll buy an actual copy anyway! Tip your server!
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1 person found this helpful
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- JayJay
- 07-14-18
The Title Says It All
Even though this is a reasonably short audiobook, it took me longer to finish than any other book I’ve started. The issue was figuring out how to approach it- which for me was in bite sized pieces, a little of Mr. Cardosa goes a long way. There’s no plot to speak of, the book is just a collection of stories, so it makes it easy to listen to one or two then move on for a bit.
Mr. Cardosa is bitchy indeed, but he’s often flat-out whiny. Honestly, there were points in this book where I would’ve given it one star- these are the moments when the author is disproportionally bothered by incredibly minor things and the moments where he makes jokes about people’s appearance.
However, there are moments when he tears into people who richly deserve it and there are moments when he shows glimpses of his humanity- and these are the parts of the book that kept me coming back to it. True confession: listening to the story about his grandmother Rita left me with tears rolling down my face. This is the only audiobook that’s ever made me cry, so I have to give Cardosa props for that.
The author is a great narrator and he’s a flat-out excellent writer. He’s got a knack for not being overly wordy, but still making you feel like you’re right there watching his scenes unfold. Even when I found him to be petty, I was still impressed with his talent- and that’s why I went with 4 stars rather than 3.
I’m not sure I’ll ever listen to this book again, but I do feel it was worth listening to.
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