Dear Sexual Abuse Survivor: This Is the Guide I Wish Someone Had Written for Me
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Narrated by:
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Annette Martin
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By:
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Sylvia Fraser
About this listen
This guide is about you, and me, and the other survivors you will meet. It's about healing from the damage that follows us into adulthood. Some survivors, like me, blackout all knowledge of the abuse for much of our lives. Some remember, but deny its emotional impact. We say, "It wasn't so bad. I got over it."
My book, My Father's House: A Memoir of Incest and of Healing (1987) was one of the first to break the taboo on Western society's shameful secret. After it became an international best seller, I heard from hundreds of other survivors wanting to share their stories. I spoke at therapists' conferences, and on TV panels across North America and Europe. This became my crash-course on sexual abuse as a disease of our times, and on healing.
In this shared voyage of self-discovery, we'll explore how child abuse continues to steal our adult happiness. I'll suggest exercises and ask you questions. Why? Because you - not me or anyone else - are the world's leading expert on you. This guide is about you - your past, your present, your future.
You'll meet Claire, who couldn't believe her father had abused her even though he'd been jailed for molesting other children. You'll meet Loretta, who remembered her seduction, at age 12, by the church organist, as a love relationship, until she learned the truth behind her throat hemorrhages. Since Georgina liked the things her abusive uncle gave her, selling sex for her college tuition seemed sensible, until miscarriages forced her to deal with her emotional damage.
An important step in healing is self-forgiveness. We'll also consider: Does healing ourselves mean forgiving our abuser? We'll examine how abuse may have affected our bodies. We'll look at insights, available to us through our dreams and even through fairy tales. We'll discuss whistle-blowing - to our families, to our abuser, and by writing a memoir. Our goal is a simple one: to better love and appreciate that face you see in your mirror.
©2017 Sylvia Fraser (P)2018 Sylvia FraserListeners also enjoyed...
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
- By: C. Terry Warner
- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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The Gift of Adversity
- The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections
- By: Norman E. Rosenthal M.D.
- Narrated by: Erik Synnestvedt
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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The noted research psychiatrist explores how life's disappointments and difficulties provide us with the lessons we need to become better, bigger, and more resilient human beings. Adversity is an irreducible fact of life. Although we can and should learn from all experiences, both positive and negative best-selling author Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal believes that adversity is by far the best teacher most of us will ever encounter.
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Book ruined by the narrator
- By David C. on 12-07-22
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
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The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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Book of Forgiving
- The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World
- By: Desmond Tutu, Mpho Tutu
- Narrated by: Mpho Tutu, Hakeem Kae Kazim
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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How do I forgive? Nobel laureate Archbishop Desmond Tutu has witnessed some of the worst crimes people can inflict on others. So wherever he goes, he inevitably gets asked this question. This audiobook is his answer. Writing with his daughter, Mpho, an Anglican priest, they lay out the simple but profound truths about the significance of forgiveness, how it works, why everyone needs to know how to grant it and receive it, and why granting forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves when we have been wronged.
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Some good points but ultimately shallow
- By Christopher Barghout on 11-17-20
By: Desmond Tutu, and others
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Capture
- Unraveling the Mystery of Mental Suffering
- By: David A. Kessler MD
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Why do we think, feel, and act in ways we wish we did not? For decades, New York Times best-selling author Dr. David A. Kessler has studied this question with regard to tobacco, food, and drugs. Over the course of these investigations, he identified one underlying mechanism common to a broad range of human suffering. This phenomenon - capture - is the process by which our attention is hijacked and our brains commandeered by forces outside our control.
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Confused
- By TS on 05-17-16
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The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- By: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrated by: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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For Your Own Good
- Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
- By: Alice Miller
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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For Your Own Good, the contemporary classic exploring the serious if not gravely dangerous consequences parental cruelty can bring to bear on children everywhere, is one of the central works by Alice Miller, the celebrated Swiss psychoanalyst. With her typically lucid, strong, and poetic language, Miller investigates the personal stories and case histories of various self-destructive and/or violent individuals to expand on her theories about the long-term effects of abusive child-rearing.
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Should be required reading for everyone
- By Timothy on 05-15-18
By: Alice Miller
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Jump...and Your Life Will Appear
- An Inch-by-Inch Guide to Making a Major Change
- By: Nancy Levin
- Narrated by: Nancy Levin
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you ready to make changes in your life - but feel something is holding you back? Is your soul asking you to take a leap - but you’re too afraid to take it? Are you ready for something new - but aren’t sure where to start? If this sounds like you, this audiobook will give you the courage and faith you need to jump across the threshold from where you are - to where you want to be. Jump...and Your Life Will Appear is a step-by-step guide to clearing the path ahead so you can let go and make the change you need the most.
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Inspiring and motivating!
- By Debra Goro on 08-06-18
By: Nancy Levin
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The Courage to Heal is an inspiring, comprehensive guide that offers hope and a map of the healing journey to every woman who was sexually abused as a child - and to those who care about her. Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible.
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Healing the wounds of sexual trauma has long been considered by many psychotherapists to be one of the most challenging tasks a person will ever face. The good news, teaches Dr. Peter A. Levine, is that new and more effective tools are emerging. On Sexual Healing, Dr. Levine, a pioneer in the field of healing trauma, teaches you his innovative series of body-based practices to release the sexual trauma of your past.
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Not sure if this is for everyone who tries to heal
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Would probably be better to read the book.
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Do you often find yourself happy and excited one minute, then upset and sad the next without even knowing why? Are you having a hard time making romantic relationships work because you’re afraid your partner will leave? Have you physically hurt a loved one–or yourself–out of extreme anger that you failed to control or stop? Or are you related to or concerned about someone with BPD–you don’t understand the disorder and want help? You’re not alone.
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Excellent discussion
- By D. Griffin on 05-29-23
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This Is Me Letting You Go
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Letting go is not a process that comes naturally to us. In a world that teaches us to cling to what we love at all costs, there is an undeniable art to moving on - and it's one that we are constantly relearning. In this series of honest and poignant essays, Heidi Priebe explores the harsh reality of what it means to let go of the people and situations we love most - often before we are ready to - and how to embrace what comes next.
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Not for me
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If you are healing from your history of childhood sexual abuse, you may be feeling like a hamster running around on a wheel, unable to escape your own self-destructive tendencies. Trust and superficial intimate relationships are common in adulthood for many survivors. You will discover the tool that helped the author to lower the effects of the trauma and brought her to the emotional state needed to deal with every aspect of life.
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Very helpful
- By diamond on 10-06-24
By: Nancy Loyat
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Sexual Healing
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Not sure if this is for everyone who tries to heal
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Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it's important for you to know that it wasn't your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past.
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Would probably be better to read the book.
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Do you often find yourself happy and excited one minute, then upset and sad the next without even knowing why? Are you having a hard time making romantic relationships work because you’re afraid your partner will leave? Have you physically hurt a loved one–or yourself–out of extreme anger that you failed to control or stop? Or are you related to or concerned about someone with BPD–you don’t understand the disorder and want help? You’re not alone.
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Excellent discussion
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What listeners say about Dear Sexual Abuse Survivor: This Is the Guide I Wish Someone Had Written for Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- M. Fernandez
- 10-11-22
Ugh
Sorry… I just can’t. The narrator’s perky and almost condescending tone are a HUGE turn off. Much of it is written as though the CHILD who was abused is capable of adult thinking and understanding.
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- plumber_girl3
- 11-30-21
Best book for healing
Outside of trauma therapy, this book has been so helpful for me to make sense of how the sexual abuse has changed me and dictated so much of my behavior. It’s an excellent tool for healing!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Angel M
- 08-09-19
Good information + some unique exercises
I’m an advanced survivor going through it again in response to life’s changes. There were some new insights and fodder for discussion with my therapist. But no magic I’m afraid. There’s no magic book, I’m afraid.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Susan Jones
- 01-03-23
Enlightening
I am a massage therapist that works with many sexual abuse survivors and as a massage instructor noticed many of my students had sexual abuse histories. This book has helped me to understand more of the thought process of someone who has survived sexual abuse and will help me relate more to my clients and students. Thank you for sharing your story.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Meg Pryor
- 08-22-20
More of the Same
There's nothing new here. Forgive yourself, forgive the abuser, blah, blah, blah. I wasted time.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Michele K.
- 09-10-20
Can’t get past the wrong and damaging terminology
You don’t “seduce a child”. You “groom a child”. You “abuse a child”. I had to stop listening after this phrase was used several times!
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2 people found this helpful