-
It Wasn't Your Fault
- Freeing Yourself From the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
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Publisher's summary
Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it's important for you to know that it wasn't your fault.
In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this audiobook, you'll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences.
Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination.
This audiobook is based on the author's powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this audiobook, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop to the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You'll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you'll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion - pride.
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- By Danielle A on 01-30-23
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Perfectly Hidden Depression
- How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression
- By: Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
- Narrated by: Eleanor Caudill
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
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Amazing
- By Kimberly Davis on 10-27-20
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Conquering Shame and Codependency
- 8 Steps to Freeing the True You
- By: Darlene Lancer
- Narrated by: Carlotta Brentan
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents' feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
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Life Changing
- By Michele Leigh Brown on 05-16-21
By: Darlene Lancer
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- A Guide for Adult Children
- By: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Narrated by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up with a mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficult - but it’s still possible to have a functioning adult relationship with her. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder provides you with crucial information for understanding the patterns behind her Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the tools you need to start your own recovery process.
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Great advice IF you decide to or must continue a relationship with someone with BPD
- By Sarah M. on 05-21-24
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The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- By: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrated by: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
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Fierce Self-Compassion
- How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
By: Kristin Neff
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Rewire
- Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior
- By: Richard O'Connor Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again - whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, our umpteenth diet, or engaging in any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In Rewire, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains - one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that does most of the work without our attention.
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Meh
- By Grateful on 12-31-14
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care
- A Savvy Guide to Help Young Women Flourish, Thrive and Conquer
- By: Shahida Arabi
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you in an abusive or unhappy relationship? Do you try too hard to please your friends at the expense of your own needs and wants? Are you subservient to others and do you find yourself unable to become independent? Do you suffer from negative self-talk? These are all signs that your self-care regimen is deficient in some way. The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care tackles the common problems of effective self-care with practical suggestions for practices that will create a sustainable, lifelong self-care routine.
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Very helpful
- By Joan Sarratt on 03-08-18
By: Shahida Arabi
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Within every community, toxic people can be found hiding in families, couples, companies, and places of worship. The cryptic nature of psychological abuse involves repetitious mind games played by one individual or a group of people. Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.
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Are you too nice for your own good? Do family members manipulate you? Do coworkers take advantage of you? If this sounds familiar, listen to The Nice Girl Syndrome. In this breakthrough guide, renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships, can show you how to take control of your life and take care of yourself.
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In this shared voyage of self-discovery, we'll explore how child abuse continues to steal our adult happiness. I'll suggest exercises and ask you questions. Why? Because you - not me or anyone else - are the world's leading expert on you. This guide is about you - your past, your present, your future. We'll look at insights, available to us through our dreams and even through fairy tales. We'll discuss whistle-blowing - to our families, to our abuser, and by writing a memoir.
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Amazing Book!
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If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
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Do memories from your past hold you back in ways you can't define?Childhood trauma shapes our adult lives more than we realize. It influences our self-worth, challenges our relationships, and can even impact our health. Yet, many dismiss its effects as mere 'personality quirks.'
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Life changing!!
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The Emotionally Absent Mother
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Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering.
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Good book but not the audio version
- By ibekristi on 08-08-18
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The Wounded Heart
- Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse
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Overall
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Performance
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Sexual abuse knows no religious or social boundaries. The Wounded Heart is an intensely personal and specific look at this form of abuse. Dr. Allender explores the secret lament of the soul damaged by sexual abuse and lays hold of the hope buried there by the one whose unstained image we all bear. Includes information about false memory issues.
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Not what I was hoping for ...
- By Kelly Cea on 05-09-17
By: Dan B. Allender
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The Adverse Childhood Experiences Recovery Workbook
- Heal the Hidden Wounds from Childhood Affecting Your Adult Mental and Physical Health
- By: Glenn R. Schiraldi PhD
- Narrated by: Marni Penning
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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We're all a product of our childhood, and if you're like most people, you have experienced some form of childhood trauma. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are at the root of nearly all mental health disorders. Memories associated with ACEs imprint on a child's brain, and can manifest themselves mentally and physically throughout adulthood. So, how can you begin healing the deep wounds of ACEs and build strength and resilience? In this innovative workbook, trauma specialist Glenn Schiraldi presents practical, evidence-based skills to help you heal from ACEs.
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this book is a waste of time
- By Kindle Customer on 09-15-23
What listeners say about It Wasn't Your Fault
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-27-22
VERY HELPFUL
Every word of this book resonated with me…..Listened to it twice back to back…
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Overall
- Ma'am Ma'am
- 07-18-15
Good information
If you lived through parental abuse or rejection or know someone who has, this book has allot of answers to the perplexing problems this type of situation can cause. It is also a good resource if you have had the backlash of someone who has lived through it and it now effects you.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Jane Villa
- 05-30-17
Great book!
The sample hooked me and I'm so glad I brought this book. It helped me break a bad abusive 3 year relationship.
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1 person found this helpful
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- shanghaishaman
- 04-20-21
One of the best for childhood ptsd
Along with the books by Pete Walker this has been a godsend in helping to heal my cptsd.
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1 person found this helpful
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- J. Badessa
- 06-21-18
Thank you for helping us
You're doing such good work and have already helped my wife and me immensely. We can't thank you enough.
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- kipkip
- 09-17-15
Will relisten to this one regularly
If you could sum up It Wasn't Your Fault in three words, what would they be?
Hopeful, compassionate, understanding
What was one of the most memorable moments of It Wasn't Your Fault?
Just, whenever you can relate to it, the way she just almost seems to be like this is you isnt it, you do this, dont you? But you know, its okay, here is why and here's what we do next. Look at from this angle and this point of view.
What about Kate Rudd’s performance did you like?
Perfect, she was gentle and sweet. Made the books compassion come out. It was great
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
All of it, I have to go through it again though, it's a lot to take in even though I listened to it for more than a week. I found myself having to take breaks and listen to other things. Because she hits so close to home and is so soft and gentle about it, I found myself emotionally raw a few times. Just had to take this one slow. I will listen many times to this one. For the help its given and her words, she herself being a survivor, really hit deep.
Any additional comments?
If you have any abuse in your life, this is a great book to read to find a deeper understanding and more love for yourself.
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18 people found this helpful
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- Desiree Thompson
- 12-13-18
thank you wish this was available 30 years ago.
I really wish this had been available 30 yrs ago instead of having to struggle to find my path do similar to this
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tina Payne
- 04-28-21
Completely Enlightening
For 30 years, I’ve neglected figuring out why I have been the way I have. This book has open my eyes, mind, heart, and soul. Thank you, Beverly, for your wisdom, knowledge and compassion.
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- Rick I.
- 04-16-16
Excellent book!
I found this book be very insightful and useful. I highly recommend it to everyone who suffered from or is suffering from abuse.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-12-17
Wow
So much abuse I endured and never dealt with it. I identified with lots of the cases. Buy it!
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2 people found this helpful