Endpapers
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Narrated by:
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Dani Martineck
About this listen
In this novel set in 2003 New York City, a genderqueer book conservator feels trapped by her gender presentation, her ill-fitting relationship, and her artistic block—until she discovers a decades-old hidden queer love letter and becomes obsessed with tracking down its author.
It’s 2003, and artist Dawn Levit is stuck. A bookbinder who works in conservation at the Met, she spends her free time scouting the city’s street art, hoping something might spark inspiration. Instead, everything looks like a dead end. And art isn’t the only thing that feels wrong: wherever she turns, her gender identity clashes with the rest of her life. Her relationship, once anchored by shared queerness, is falling apart as her boyfriend Lukas increasingly seems to be attracted to Dawn only when she’s at her most masculine. Meanwhile at work, Dawn has to present as female, even on the days when that isn’t true. Either way, her difference feels like a liability.
Then, one day at work, Dawn finds something hidden behind the endpaper of an old book: the torn-off cover of a ‘50s lesbian pulp novel, Turn Her About. On the front is a campy illustration of a woman looking into a handheld mirror and seeing a man’s face. And on the back is a love letter.
Dawn latches onto the coincidence, becoming obsessed with tracking down the note’s author. Her fixation only increases when her best friend Jae is injured in a hate crime, for which Dawn feels responsible. As Dawn searches for the letter’s author, she is also looking for herself. She tries to understand how to live in a world that doesn’t see her as she truly is, how to get unstuck in her gender, and how to rediscover her art, and she can’t shake the feeling that the note’s author might be able to help guide her to the answers.
A sharply written, deeply evocative story about what it means to live authentically—even within an identity whose parameters have not yet been defined—Endpapers will appeal to readers of queer, nonbinary, or trans fiction like Torrey Peters’ Detransition, Baby as well as anyone who loves character-driven, setting-rich stories like Tell the Wolves I’m Home or The Immortalists.
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Critic reviews
“Sometimes the hardest thing to be is our authentic selves. How do we do that when society has hidden and erased any path that could show us the way? Dawn Levit finds that heroic path by believing in hunches and looking for clues. Not quite a mystery novel, this is a story of following one’s own inner desire for belonging through art and surprising friendships. Savran Kelly creates a story full of humans who we long to be friends with after the last page is read. Love is acceptance, and this book is that and more.”—Amy Wallen, author of When We Were Ghouls
"Part portrait of the artist, part queer coming-of-age, and part investigative puzzle, this intimate, emotional novel parlays romance, passion, politics, and history into a compelling tale, beautifully and insightfully told. Jennifer Savran Kelly is an exciting, empathetic new voice.”—J. Robert Lennon, author of Subdivision and Let Me Think
“Endpapers is a richly imagined and moving novel about identity, desire, and art. Its characters are believable and engaging, its plot intriguing, but just as important is its urgent subtext, a plea for humans to break free from constricting labels and instead behold each other in all their thorny, unpredictable individuality; to love complexity and uncertainty, rather than ideology and order. This just might be the most urgent issue of our time, and Endpapers tackles it with energy and—that most apropos weapon—subtlety.”—Brian Hall, author of The Stone Loves the World
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Claire "Mac" Woods—a professor enjoying her newfound hotshot status at an academic conference—finally has the acceptance and admiration she has long craved. But at the conference's hotel bar, Mac is surprised to run into a face from a past she'd rather forget: the moneyed, effortlessly perfect Gwendolyn Whitney, Mac's foil, rival, and former best friend.
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Outstanding!
- By SLuzaz on 02-15-21
By: Amy Gentry
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When You Call My Name
- By: Tucker Shaw
- Narrated by: Max Meyers
- Length: 12 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Film fanatic Adam is 17 and being asked out on his first date—and the guy is cute. Heart racing, Adam accepts, quickly falling in love with Callum like the movies always promised. Fashion-obsessed Ben is 18 and has just left his home upstate after his mother discovers his hidden stash of gay magazines. When he comes to New York City, Ben’s sexuality begins to feel less like a secret and more like a badge of honor. Then Callum disappears, leaving Adam heartbroken, and Ben finds out his new world is more closed-minded than he thought.
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Full impact of a heavy topic while keeping it within the genre.
- By GnomePatronus on 07-31-24
By: Tucker Shaw
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Bright Lights, Big City
- By: Jay McInerney
- Narrated by: Daniel Passer
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The tragicomedy of a young man in New York City, a writer, never named, who works as a fact-checker for a prestigious magazine. He struggles with the reality of his mother's death, alienation, and the seductive pull of drugs and a vibrant nightlife.
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Curiously, mundanely real
- By Amber on 01-07-12
By: Jay McInerney
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Smile and Look Pretty
- A Novel
- By: Amanda Pellegrino
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Best friends Cate, Lauren, Olivia and Max are overworked and underpaid assistants to some of the most powerful people in the entertainment industries. Like the assistants who came before them, the women know they have to pay their dues and abide the demeaning tasks and verbal abuse from their bosses in order to climb the ladders to their dream jobs.
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Relevant Story Well Written and Narrated
- By A. Battaglia on 05-16-22
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Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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F*ck Love
- By: Tarryn Fisher
- Narrated by: Marisa Vitali
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Helena Conway has fallen in love. Unwillingly. Unwittingly. But not unprovoked. Kit Isley is everything she's not - unstructured, untethered, and not even a little bit careful. It could all be so beautiful...if he wasn't dating her best friend. Helena must defy her heart, do the right thing, and think of others. Until she doesn't.
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Left me feeling confused?
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 09-15-16
By: Tarryn Fisher
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Breaking Night
- A Memoir of Forgiveness, Survival, and My Journey from Homeless to Harvard
- By: Liz Murray
- Narrated by: Liz Murray
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-12
By: Liz Murray
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Picture Us in the Light
- By: Kelly Loy Gilbert
- Narrated by: James Chen
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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When Danny discovers a taped-up box in his father's closet filled with old letters and a file on a powerful Silicon Valley family, he realizes there's much more to his family's past than he ever imagined. Danny has been an artist for as long as he can remember, and it seems his path is set, with a scholarship to RISD and his family's blessing to pursue the career he's always dreamed of. Still, contemplating a future without his best friend, Harry Wong, by his side makes Danny feel a panic he can barely put into words.
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A poignant, touching novel for the Asian American millennial
- By Jenny on 06-30-23
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The Distance Between Us
- By: Kasie West
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Caymen Meyers learned early that the rich are not to be trusted. And after years of studying them from behind the cash register of her mom's porcelain-doll shop, she has seen nothing to prove otherwise. Enter Xander Spence-he's tall, handsome, and oozing rich. Despite his charming ways and the fact that he seems to be one of the first people who actually gets her, she's smart enough to know that his interest won't last.
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Teen Perfect
- By amy on 03-18-17
By: Kasie West
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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Eat the Document
- By: Dana Spiotta
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In the heyday of the 1970s underground, Bobby DeSoto and Mary Whittaker - passionate, idealistic, and in love - design a series of radical protests against the Vietnam War. When one action goes wrong, the course of their lives is forever changed. The two must erase their past, forge new identities, and never see each other again. Now it is the 1990s. Mary lives in the suburbs with her 15-year-old son, who spends hours immersed in the music of his mother's generation.
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Great ensemble piece!
- By Buyer009 on 08-08-17
By: Dana Spiotta
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Why Can't I Be You
- By: Allie Larkin
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jenny Shaw hears someone shout "Jessie!" across a hotel lobby, she impulsively answers. All her life, Jenny has toed the line, but something propels her to seize the opportunity to become Jessie Morgan, a woman to whom she bears an uncanny resemblance. Lonely in her own life, Jenny is embraced by Jessie’s warm circle of friends - and finds unexpected romance. But when she delves into Jessie’s past, Jenny discovers a secret that spurs her to take another leap into the unknown.
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Silly
- By Hilary on 05-20-15
By: Allie Larkin
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The Time Traveler's Wife
- By: Audrey Niffenegger
- Narrated by: Fred Berman, Phoebe Strole
- Length: 17 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Clare and Henry have known each other since Clare was six and Henry was 36. They were married when Clare was 23 and Henry was 31. Impossible but true, because Henry is one of the first people diagnosed with Chrono-Displacement Disorder: periodically his genetic clock resets and he finds himself misplaced in time, pulled to moments of emotional gravity from his life, past and future. His disappearances are spontaneous, his experiences unpredictable, alternately harrowing and amusing.
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One of my favorite books
- By Joey on 01-13-08
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The Name of the Star
- Shades of London, Book 1
- By: Maureen Johnson
- Narrated by: Nicola Barber
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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The day Louisiana teenager Rory Deveaux arrives in London marks a memorable occasion. For Rory, it’s the start of a new life at a London boarding school. But for many, this will be remembered as the day a series of brutal murders broke out across the city - gruesome crimes mimicking the horrific work of Jack the Ripper in the autumn of 1888. Soon “Rippermania” takes hold of modern-day London, and the police are left with few leads and no witnesses. Except one. Rory spotted the man police believe to be the prime suspect.
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Paranormal Ripper-Related YA
- By Amy on 08-05-14
By: Maureen Johnson
What listeners say about Endpapers
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sarah C.
- 08-29-23
Just the Right Time to Listen To This
I was excited and a little nervous to listen to this book. As someone who's also never fully been comfortable in my own skin (being queer and more tomboyish than traditionally feminine), Dawn's story sounded a lot like my own. And there were times I did want to cry or reach out to hug Dawn to say "I know what you're going through, you're not alone."
I loved this story. Seeing Dawn grow from a shy, defensive and confused woman to a confident, open and steadier person was encouraging to say the least. Despite the challenges she went through (initial rejection of her identity by her parents, mixed signals from her partner Lukas, the hate crime outside the bar, etc.), she still managed to overcome what was thrown at her and learn from what happened. Even if she was unsure of the outcome, particularly when it came to her friend Jae's recovery, she chose to try to be hopeful and trust in the process, which is something that we all need a reminder of sometimes when times get tough. I also liked how each of the women in Dawn's life (save for her mother) were supportive of Dawn in some way that was positive: Katherine who offered professional advice, Alice who inspired her, Amina who was calm and understanding and Gertrude who encouraged her to live openly and freely.
I didn't realize that this book was set during post 9/11, but it's a prevalent theme in the story. Dawn and a few other characters mention or reference feeling targeted during this period for not conforming to the desired image of what an American was supposed to be and that people like the ones who hurt Jae saw them as enemies. That also becomes important as an echo of what Gertrude and Marta went through during the Lavender Scare during the Cold War.
I will also say that Dawn's experience learning about the Lavender Scare and Alice encouraging her to talk with Gertrude about their history is also another reminder of how LGBTQ+ history is still so very new because the ability to talk openly about it is still very new. During the period the book is set, gay marriage wasn't legal yet and books on the topic were still not as common as they are now.
Dani Martineck did a great job reading this audiobook. I liked how she read Gertrude, Amina, Katherine and Jae best after doing Dawn, But I think each voice she did was perfect for each person's personality.
This was definitely one of the my favorite audiobooks of the year and I recommend it to anyone who likes a good book!
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- Shera
- 03-11-23
A vulnerable sincere suspenseful story beautifully wrapped in gender nonconforming
A story about human connection and disconnection and loneliness and being lost and being found. One of the best stories I’ve read about gender nonconforming specific to women who don’t fit perfectly on either side of the coin. This might help you understand yourself but at the very least it will give you a better understanding of the humans sharing planet around you.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Marie
- 05-08-24
underdeveloped story and characters
My book club just read this. We all agree that there was so much that was barely touched on that left us with so many questions about characters because we were only given base information.
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