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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
- Narrated by: Kelly Oxford
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
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Publisher's summary
Kelly Oxford is....
A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds
Not the queen of the world
An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher
The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush
A born salesman
Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20
That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time
Totally an expert on strep throat
Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend
A writer
A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes
"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." (Bea, age four)
Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket
"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." (Roger Ebert)
Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon
A terrible liar
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Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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The Wangs vs. the World
- By: Jade Chang
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Charles Wang is mad at America. A brash, lovable immigrant businessman who built a cosmetics empire and made a fortune, he's just been ruined by the financial crisis. Now all Charles wants is to get his kids safely stowed away so that he can go to China and attempt to reclaim his family's ancestral lands - and his pride. Outrageously funny and full of charm, The Wangs vs. the World is an entirely fresh look at what it means to belong in America - and how going from glorious riches to (still name-brand) rags brings one family together in a way money never could.
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Spectacular
- By Barbara on 10-11-16
By: Jade Chang
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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How to Be a Grown-Up
- By: Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Rory McGovern is entering the prime of her life when her husband loses his dream job and announces he feels like "taking a break". Rory was already spread thin and now, without warning, she is single-parenting two kids, juggling their science projects, flu season, and pajama days, while coming to terms with her disintegrating marriage. Without Blake, her only hope is to accept a full-time position working for two full-time 20-somethings.
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Performance
- By Jill on 02-10-16
By: Emma McLaughlin, and others
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Darling Days
- A Memoir
- By: iO Tillett Wright
- Narrated by: iO Tillett Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Born into the beautiful bedlam of downtown New York in the eighties, iO Tillett Wright came of age at the intersection of punk, poverty, heroin, and art. This was a world of self-invented characters, glamorous superstars, and strung-out sufferers, ground zero of drag and performance art. Still, no personality was more vibrant and formidable than iO's mother's. Rhonna, a showgirl and young widow, was a mercurial, erratic glamazon. She was iO's fiercest defender and only authority in a world with few boundaries and even fewer indicators of normal life.
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Can’t wait for more from this Author!
- By Team Hobson on 07-24-19
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Kissing Games of the World
- By: Sandi Kahn Shelton
- Narrated by: Myra Platt
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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Cracked
- By: K. M. Walton
- Narrated by: Nicholas Tecosky, Andrew Wilson
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Victor hates his life. He has no friends, gets beaten up at school, and his parents are always criticizing him. Tired of feeling miserable, Victor takes a bottle of his mother’s sleeping pills - only to wake up in the hospital. Bull is angry, and takes all of his rage out on Victor. That makes him feel better, at least a little. But it doesn’t stop Bull’s grandfather from getting drunk and hitting him. So Bull tries to defend himself with a loaded gun. When Victor and Bull end up as roommates in the same psych ward, there’s no way to escape each other or their problems. Which means things are going to get worse - much worse - before they get better.
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Very interesting
- By Mitra Grondin on 06-07-15
By: K. M. Walton
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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The Secret Side of Empty
- By: Maria E. Andreu
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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What's it like to be undocumented? High school senior M.T. knows all too well. With graduation and an uncertain future looming, she must figure out how to grow up in the only country she's ever called home... a country in which she's "illegal". M.T. was born in Argentina and brought to America as a baby without any official papers. And as questions of college, work, and the future arise, M.T. will have to decide what exactly she wants for herself, knowing someone she loves will unavoidably pay the price for it.
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Heavy topics handled well but just fell short 4 me
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-30-17
By: Maria E. Andreu
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
What listeners say about Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- The Reading Date
- 02-06-14
Absorbing humorous memoir
I was just wishing for a new humorous memoir à la Bossypants or Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me, so I was thrilled to spend an audible credit on Oxford’s book. Oxford’s unfiltered sense of humor is entertaining to listen to and she’s gained a new twitter follower in me. She talks about growing up and working odd jobs and her adventures in parenting, so it’s all very relatable.
Kelly Oxford is from Canada and the book chronicles her life growing up in Calgary, before starting a family and later moving to Los Angeles. The book starts out with Oxford at age six, going through hoops to try to cast a stage adaptation of Star Wars. She later goes on a wild trip to Los Angeles to try to meet Leonardo DiCaprio and be his girlfriend before Titanic makes him a superstar. She also talks about peeing at a gas station while waiting in line to buy cigarettes, and her weekend trip to Vegas hosted by magician David Copperfield. Oxford is brutally honest in her observations and a fearless sharer of embarrassing moments.
Oxford is a good storyteller and I found all the essay’s absorbing. She does find the humor in everyday life, and even when she’s discussing a serious topic she gives it a light touch in keeping with the tone of the book. For instance, she talks about the worry that her husband will die and she won’t have a job to support herself, so she takes a job at a nursing home. Oxford actually had a few interesting jobs before doing the writing thing, like washing dishes at a German restaurant at age 12. My favorite stories were the Vegas trip and the family’s trip to Disneyland, but they all are pretty amusing.
Kelly Oxford reads the audiobook herself, something I always appreciate with memoirs. Who better than the author to read her own stories, right? Oxford speaks clearly and reads with an easy, conversational manner. I did speed up the narration a tad (to 1.25x) with the audible app, and that was just perfect for me. Oxford brings her stories to life with her reading and this is an audiobook I didn’t want to stop listening to.
If you like humorous memoirs like those by Tina Fey, Jenny Lawson, or Mindy Kaling I think you’ll eat up this book. I hope there’s a part two someday.
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5 people found this helpful
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- DAM
- 01-15-20
So relatable
I love listening to Kelly hop around different stories from her life. She’s got a humor in her self-reflection that’s rare.
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- ray
- 07-15-13
Light but not overly comedic
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
Easy to listen to in small bits when you are in and out of the car a lot.
Would you be willing to try another book from Kelly Oxford? Why or why not?
Probably not - this was ok but not overly funny. Some amusing bits - but not what I would have expected.
What does Kelly Oxford bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
She reads it very well -
If this book were a movie would you go see it?
no
Any additional comments?
Her reading is vry good - and this is mildly amusing. But I have not found a comedic book that elicits more than a few amusing moments.
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- lotus8
- 04-10-17
Looking forward to her next book
If you have a sense of humor, then you will live this book.
In officially a fan of Kelly Oxford!
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- Lindsay
- 05-30-13
Enjoyable but not so relatable for me
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I don't regret listening to it, but I don't think I'll listen to it again. And I probably wouldn't buy any more books by her. Now, this is not because I think she is a bad writer, but because I had a hard time relating to her because her personality is so different than mine.
Would you be willing to try another book from Kelly Oxford? Why or why not?
Probably not. I thought most of the stories were entertaining, but I just couldn't relate to her life. I also felt that some of the stories were a little petty, but that's just me. Perhaps I'm just more of a Tina Fey type person.
What about Kelly Oxford’s performance did you like?
I enjoyed her story about working as a physical therapist. I think that story really showed a genuine side of her that I wanted to hear more about. That's not true, I felt the whole book was genuine, but that story was one that I felt connected to her over.
Was Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar worth the listening time?
I'd say so. I'm not in love with the book, but I don't regret listening to it.
Any additional comments?
I think that women who are adventurous and free-spirited would like this book. Women who identify with Tina Fey or Mindy Kaling might have a harder time connecting to Kelly Oxford's work.
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3 people found this helpful
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- R. Barry
- 04-05-13
Great stories well told; author/narrator perfect!
What about Kelly Oxford’s performance did you like?
Oxford has a pleasing, engaged, clear voice that strikes an agreeable, conversational tone.
Any additional comments?
When you listen to her first story, “Queen of the World or Something,” you’ll know you’re going to be well treated by this wonderful storyteller. Oxford’s episodic recollections of her life from elementary school through motherhood read like rich, often messy, sometimes unflattering, and always honest experiences which she has been able to craft into glittering jewels. Yes, there are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments along the way. What most surprised me, though, is the sense of depth lurking just below the surface of the witty, engaging anecdotes. Oxford subtly invites the reader to learn – or share what she learned – from her remarkable experiences. Personal favorite: “My Zoo.” There are no duds.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Danielle S
- 06-19-13
Love Kelly Oxford
Which character – as performed by Kelly Oxford – was your favorite?
Herself, obviously.
Her kids.
Any additional comments?
I do wish there was more cohesion in this story. I made the mistake of listening to this one shortly after listening to "BossyPants" by Tina Fey, and it just wasn't as well-constructed. Enjoyable for me, yes, but partly because I'm a weirdo and want to feel like I "know" Kelly Oxford. (I'm a total creeper.) If you don't share this feeling with me, I don't think you'll enjoy this book so much.
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- Mike
- 04-13-13
Very entertaining
Where does Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
First audiobook I've tried since I'm now commuting.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar?
Her experience at the senior center was so sad, and Disney land was so adorable. I can't wait to be a parent now.
Which scene was your favorite?
The drunken car ride.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I would've if I could have.
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- Rachel A. Fernandez
- 03-09-16
Entertaining
Her story overall is entertaining, she pretty much discusses different stories of her life, from being a kid to a teen and a 17 year old to then a mother of 3. The most entertaining are when shes a teen. Some might like the others but those were the ones i enjoyed. If ur the kind of person that doesnt find humor in stories about getting high with drugs or sex or anything with "bad" language then u will not like this book.
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- LMB
- 08-14-13
Horrible Ramblings of Soulless Brainless Teenager
Oh my. What a waste of money. There is no amount of boredom that would benefit from the silly crap stories from a teenager. ARgh. If you had to listen to the whole thing, it could kill you. What simplistic language full of obscenities trying to spice up or startle an audience that no doubt has stopped listening. I kept thinking about other reviews that said this was funny. "the funny stuff must be coming up soon," I consoled myself. But I can't wait anymore for it. Looking at a tiny piece of tree bark would be so much more exciting and rewarding. Angry I wasted money on this. But at least I didn't waste more time.
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1 person found this helpful