Fi
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Alexandra Fuller
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By:
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Alexandra Fuller
About this listen
From the award-winning New York Times bestselling author, Alexandra Fuller, comes a career defining memoir about grieving the sudden loss of her twenty-one-year-old child
“Fair to say, I was in a ribald state the summer before my fiftieth birthday.” And so begins Alexandra Fuller’s open, vivid new memoir, Fi. It’s midsummer in Wyoming and Alexandra is barely hanging on. Grieving her father and pining for her home country of Zimbabwe, reeling from a midlife breakup, freshly sober and piecing her way uncertainly through a volatile new relationship with a younger woman, Alexandra vows to get herself back on even keel.
And then—suddenly and incomprehensibly—her son Fi, at twenty-one years old, dies in his sleep.
No stranger to loss—young siblings, a parent, a home country—Alexandra is nonetheless leveled. At the same time, she is painfully aware that she cannot succumb and abandon her two surviving daughters as her mother before her had done. From a sheep wagon deep in the mountains of Wyoming to a grief sanctuary in New Mexico to a silent meditation retreat in Alberta, Canada, Alexandra journeys up and down the spine of the Rocky Mountains in an attempt to find how to grieve herself whole. There is no answer, and there are countless answers—in poetry, in rituals and routines, in nature and in the indigenous wisdom she absorbed as a child in Zimbabwe. By turns disarming, devastating and—unexpectedly, blessedly funny, Alexandra recounts the wild medicine of painstakingly grieving a child in a culture that has no instructions for it.
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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The Mastery of Self
- A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom
- By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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Beautiful
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Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness
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Alexandra Fuller won worldwide attention, popular acclaim, and critical accolades for her memoir of her childhood in Africa, Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight. This engaging follow-up explores Fuller’s parents’ childhoods and charts the trajectories of their lives through all the British couple’s experiences in war-torn Africa. With the same sharply etched narrative that has earned the author such immense praise, Fuller expands on and offers new insights into her family’s remarkable trials and successes.
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Top notch....
- By Cary on 09-06-11
By: Alexandra Fuller
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The Legend of Colton H. Bryant
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Colton H. Bryant loves Wyoming and loves life. And Wyoming loves him back - it's got everything he needs. He spends his school days dreaming about where he'll go fishing or how many jackrabbits he might be able to catch that night.
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Another Disappointment
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By: Alexandra Fuller
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Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight
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An African Childhood of Harrowing Proportions
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Lakota Oglala Sioux Nation, South Dakota. Two Native American cousins, Rick Overlooking Horse and You Choose Watson, though bound by blood and by land, find themselves at odds as they grapple with the implications of their shared heritage. When escalating anger toward the injustices, historical and current, inflicted upon the Lakota people by the federal government leads to tribal divisions and infighting, the cousins go in separate directions: Rick chooses the path of peace; You Choose, violence.
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Loved this best narration ever
- By Liliana Condon on 06-04-21
By: Alexandra Fuller
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Scribbling the Cat
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When Alexandra ("Bo") Fuller was home in Zambia a few years ago, visiting her parents for Christmas, she asked her father about a nearby banana farmer who was known for being a "tough bugger". Her father's response was a warning to steer clear of him; he told Bo: "Curiosity scribbled the cat." Nonetheless, Fuller began her strange friendship with the man she calls K, a white African and veteran of the Rhodesian war.
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Astonishing
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Award-winning investigative journalist and contributing Wired editor Scott Carney leads listeners on a breathtaking journey through the macabre underworld of the global body bazaar, where organs, bones, and even live people are bought and sold on The Red Market. The Red Market sheds a blazing new light on the disturbing, billion-dollar business of trading in human body parts, bodies, and child trafficking, raising issues and exposing corruptions almost too bizarre and shocking to imagine.
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an important book on an overlooked subject
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In 2012, 38-year-old Ian Thorson's search for spiritual transcendence ended in tragedy on a remote Arizona mountaintop. His wife, a woman anointed as a goddess by an eccentric Buddhist community, held him in her arms as he slowly died from dehydration and dysentery. For Scott Carney, a journalist and anthropologist who lived in India for six years, Thorson's death was just the most recent iteration of an unspoken epidemic that connected intensive meditation and mental instability.
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Sure you want to reach enlightenment?
- By Kjetil Alisøy Søvig on 01-29-24
By: Scott Carney
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Crossing
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The death of Head of State Enver Hoxha and the loss of his father leave Bujar growing up in the ruins of Communist Albania and of his own family. Only his fearless best friend, Agim - who is facing his own realizations about his gender and sexuality - gives him hope for the future. Together, the two decide to leave everything behind and try their luck in Italy. But the struggle to feel at home - in a foreign country and even in one's own body - will have corrosive effects, spurring a dangerous search for new identities.
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Insightful, deeply human account
- By Tyx P. on 04-01-20
By: Pajtim Statovci, and others
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Truly Like Lightning
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Overall
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Story
For the past 20 years, Bronson Powers, former Hollywood stuntman and converted Mormon, has been homesteading deep in the uninhabited desert outside Joshua Tree with his three wives and 10 children. Bronson and his wives, Yalulah, Mary, and Jackie, have been raising their family away from the corruption and evil of the modern world. Their insular existence - controversial, difficult, but Edenic - is upended when the ambitious young developer Maya Abbadessa stumbles upon their land. Hoping to make a profit, she crafts a wager with the family that sets in motion a deadly chain of events.
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BOOM!
- By Annya E. on 06-12-21
By: David Duchovny
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The Nature of Life and Death
- Every Body Leaves a Trace
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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A riveting blend of science writing and true-crime narrative, The Nature of Life and Death details Wiltshire's unique journey from college professor to crime fighter: solving murders, locating corpses, and exonerating the falsely accused. Along the way, she introduces us to the unseen world all around us and underneath our feet: plants, animals, pollen, spores, fungi, and microbes that we move through every day. Her story is a testament to the power of persistence and reveals how our relationship with the vast natural world reaches far deeper than we might think.
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Fascinating Welsh granny
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What listeners say about Fi
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jennifer l.
- 11-07-24
Dissection of grief
A poetic and graphic journey of one woman’s experience of grief. I appreciate anyone who can put into words what that dark place is like in an illuminating way.
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- Kristin Kline
- 05-25-24
Heartbreaking and beautiful.
I’ve read all of Fuller’s books and love and enjoy them each differently. I think this is the most realistic book on grief I’ve read and I’ve read countless after losing my husband way too soon. Fuller portrayed the desperation so well and then the slow healing steps following. An incredible read.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Book Lover
- 06-25-24
Profound and important
This book was hard to listen to because of the strength of the emotion and the arduousness of the journey. But it’s a brave and important work. I feared it, but am glad I read it. Truly a beautiful and profound work.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Nina J.
- 04-20-24
Lifting the fog
Early on in the audio it was difficult to differentiate each word. Stick with it.
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9 people found this helpful
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- Kris
- 09-16-24
longer than it needed to be, well written
long, I skipped the last few chapters, but I love her style of writing and her Zim accent.
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- Erin Stephens
- 11-20-24
Raw and beautiful
I’ve lost two children. This is the most realistic account of grief and being human I’ve yet to read. I feel less alone after having read it.
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- Sara C. Hendershot
- 04-10-24
Beautiful memoir and tribute to her son
Fuller will always be one of my favorite writers. She recounts her grief with rawness and honesty, attempting to make any sense out of heartbreaking loss.
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5 people found this helpful
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- A. T. Zuniga
- 04-15-24
Sweet, deep, perfect
I have been half in love with Alexandra Fuller since the first book of hers I read. This one is different, of course, because of its subject matter. She again opens up completely and frankly, again entertains and instructs, but this time goes far deeper, on a delicate episode of her life that resonates of course to many readers, whether we may have gone through something similar, or we simply aspire to some small portion of her intelligence and sensibility. Thank you, Bo.
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2 people found this helpful
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- suzanne elise
- 07-03-24
Honest
Authors honest. The only thing that is not a bad idea sharing of her deepest depths
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2 people found this helpful
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- N. Charest
- 06-15-24
Entitlement
I’ve read Fuller since her first book and have become more and more transfixed by her narcissism and sense of entitlement. It makes me sad she lost her son but it would be nice if she mentioned him once in awhile.
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8 people found this helpful