The Harder I Fight the More I Love You Audiobook By Neko Case cover art

The Harder I Fight the More I Love You

A Memoir

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The Harder I Fight the More I Love You

By: Neko Case
Narrated by: Neko Case
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About this listen

From a beloved Grammy-nominated musician, a "heartbreaking and funny" memoir of a poverty-stricken childhood, obsessive desires, and indispensable friendships that reflects on the way art and music and a deep connection to nature guided her journey towards stardom (Maggie Smith, NYT bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful).

Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally acclaimed talent.

In luminous, sharp-edged prose, Case shows listeners what it’s like to be left alone for hours and hours as a child, to take refuge in the woods around her home, and to channel the monotony and loneliness and joy that comes from music, camaraderie, and shared experience into art.

THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a rebellious meditation on identity and corruption, and a manifesto on how to make space for ourselves in this world, despite the obstacles we face.

©2025 Neko Case (P)2025 Grand Central Publishing
Entertainment & Celebrities Women Funny

Critic reviews

“Reader, I really want to hand this book to you personally and tell you, in one excited rush, how much it moved me. THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a hell of an origin story: heartbreaking and funny, brave and weird, hard to swallow and impossible to put down. Neko Case has been my favorite singer-songwriter for many years, hands down, and now she’s written one of my favorite memoirs.”—Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful

"This is a fierce, funny, moving memoir that will break your heart and patch it back up. Case's writing is as piercing and beautiful as her gorgeous singing, and will carry you away completely."—New York Times bestselling author Susan Orlean

"A vivid, exuberant, heartrending coming-of-age story that demonstrates the saving power of art. This book captured me the way Case's songs do: with their ache and beauty and promise that the only way through this life is to feel it all."—Melissa Febos, author of Girlhood, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism

What listeners say about The Harder I Fight the More I Love You

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Wonderful reading by the Author.

I love Neko’s telling of her story. It’s not always easy to tell her truth.

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The More I Love Her

Case is authentic, humble, and fierce as a momma bear in her memoir. Her humanity is on full display without pretense and she lights the reader’s way with the same wonder that lights the stars.

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The richest prose

I guess it’s not shocking that a songwriter should be able to so richly tell a story but her astounding memory bloomed forgotten visions of my own childhood. Magical thoughts swimming around a snow globe. Nemo Case knows how to unleash them.

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Neko Case is a feminist icon!

Absolutely loved Neko’s writing and storytelling— you can feel the pain, the hunger, the dirty clubs, the struggling musician lifestyle in such a raw and visceral way. As a huge fan, I just wish she had talked more about her process through each album!

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Memories of a dirty 70’s kid

Thank you for this gift down memory lane and your cool irreverent writing style. I thought I lost my kid memories but your memoir brought them all back. I’ll be giving this a second listen for sure.

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If you ever wondered ...

What is Neko Case about? here is your opportunity. I have been riveted
by her voice and music for quite some time. This was a great memior.

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The pleasure of having read by the author

I recognize so many similarities to my upbringing - parents who were totally unable to form an attachment to a baby and both carrying a shitload of epigenetic trauma, extreme social isolation and loneliness, a trickster alcoholic mother, etc., etc.

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A diamond of a mind rendered in full

A generous memoir that allowed me to reconnect my own childhood and youth. Neko Case’s accounting of modern American and music history is very relevant today. Themes and symbolism carried me down the forest path of this hero’s story.

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Vivid, heartfelt storytelling

Wonderful memoir that takes us through an atmospheric, Pacific Northwest, chasing the fault lines of a childhood fractured by traumatized parents who lie and leave. We walk with an incredible artist, through the life experiences that could have destroyed her, but that she weathered enough to be able to blossom into a force of creativity who loves horses, songwriting and connection. Readers unfamiliar with the artist may wonder if they’ll be captivated either way. I think the answer is yes. Excellent audiobook.

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Raw emotion for one of our modern day poets!

I am a fan of Neko Case, full disclosure, but I don’t think I ever really was able to capture the true beauty of her words. This book will make you laugh and cry and for me, proud to be one of the tribe.

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