
The Harder I Fight the More I Love You
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Neko Case
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By:
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Neko Case
About this listen
From a beloved Grammy-nominated musician, a "heartbreaking and funny" memoir of a poverty-stricken childhood, obsessive desires, and indispensable friendships that reflects on the way art and music and a deep connection to nature guided her journey towards stardom (Maggie Smith, NYT bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful).
Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally acclaimed talent.
In luminous, sharp-edged prose, Case shows listeners what it’s like to be left alone for hours and hours as a child, to take refuge in the woods around her home, and to channel the monotony and loneliness and joy that comes from music, camaraderie, and shared experience into art.
THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a rebellious meditation on identity and corruption, and a manifesto on how to make space for ourselves in this world, despite the obstacles we face.
©2025 Neko Case (P)2025 Grand Central PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Reader, I really want to hand this book to you personally and tell you, in one excited rush, how much it moved me. THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a hell of an origin story: heartbreaking and funny, brave and weird, hard to swallow and impossible to put down. Neko Case has been my favorite singer-songwriter for many years, hands down, and now she’s written one of my favorite memoirs.”—Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful
"This is a fierce, funny, moving memoir that will break your heart and patch it back up. Case's writing is as piercing and beautiful as her gorgeous singing, and will carry you away completely."—New York Times bestselling author Susan Orlean
"A vivid, exuberant, heartrending coming-of-age story that demonstrates the saving power of art. This book captured me the way Case's songs do: with their ache and beauty and promise that the only way through this life is to feel it all."—Melissa Febos, author of Girlhood, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism
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Overall
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Those Boys on the Hill is a biographical coming-of-age story about three inner-city, African American brothers growing up in a group home in a farming community in Pennsylvania. Elliott Glover uses a mix of humor, sadness, and raw situational honesty to share the harrowing experiences that shaped the men he and his brothers Jacque and Iszel have become.
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Must Read!
- By DamianG on 01-29-25
By: Elliott Glover
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House of Kwa
- By: Mimi Kwa
- Narrated by: Mimi Kwa
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Mimi Kwa ignored the letter for days. When she finally opened it, the news was so shocking her hair turned grey. Why would a father sue his own daughter? The collision was over the estate of Mimi's beloved Aunt Theresa, but its seed had been sown long ago. In an attempt to understand how it had come to this, Mimi unspools her rich family history in House of Kwa.
By: Mimi Kwa
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All the Parts We Exile
- By: Roza Nozari
- Narrated by: Roza Nozari
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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As the youngest of three daughters, and the only one born in Canada soon after her parents' emigration from Iran, Roza Nozari began her life hungry for a sense of belonging. From her early years, she shared a passion for Iranian cuisine with her mother and craved stories of their ancestral home. Eventually they visited and she fell in love with its sights and smells, and with the warm embrace of their extended family. Yet Roza sensed something was amiss with her mother's happy, well-rehearsed story of their original departure.
By: Roza Nozari
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The Loves of My Life
- A Sex Memoir
- By: Edmund White
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Written with White’s signature honesty, irreverence, and wit, The Loves of My Life is the culmination of a legend's life and work, a delightful and moving tour of over seventy years of being unabashedly gay and in love with love in all its forms.
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Does not compare favorably to White's other books
- By Reader X on 04-03-25
By: Edmund White
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Pure Innocent Fun
- Essays
- By: Ira Madison III
- Narrated by: Ira Madison III
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In Pure Innocent Fun, Madison explores the key cultural moments that inspired his career as a critic and guided his coming of age as a Black gay man in Milwaukee. In this hilarious, full-throttle trip through the ’90s and 2000s, he recounts learning about sex from Buffy the Vampire Slayer; facing the most heartbreaking election of his youth (not George W. Bush’s win, but Jennifer Hudson losing American Idol); and how never getting his driver’s license in high school made him just like Cher Horowitz in Clueless: “a virgin who can’t drive.”
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Relatable! Great word choice! Hilarious!
- By Anonymous User on 05-02-25
By: Ira Madison III
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Earth to Moon
- A Memoir
- By: Moon Unit Zappa
- Narrated by: Moon Unit Zappa
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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From Moon Unit Zappa, the daughter of musical visionary Frank Zappa, comes a memoir of growing up in her unconventional household in 1970s Los Angeles, coming of age in the Hollywood Hills in the 1980s as the “Valley Girl,” gaining momentum as an accidental VJ on a new network called MTV, and finding herself after losing her father, then her mother, and the testing of her most important relationships.
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Perfect. Brilliant. Hilarious. (&made me cry in a good way)
- By Christina G on 09-09-24
By: Moon Unit Zappa
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The Mother Next Door
- Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy
- By: Andrea Dunlop, Mike Weber
- Narrated by: Andrea Dunlop
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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No bond is more sacred than the one between a mother and child. And no figure is more sympathetic than a mother whose child faces a life-threatening illness. But what if the mother is the reason for the illness? What if the sympathy is the point? With help from some of the top MBP experts in the world, Dunlop and Weber uncover the complex maze of psychological, systemic, and cultural issues that compound MBP and offer solutions for how we might find our way out.
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Hope Ybarra-Did I know her?
- By Amazon Customer on 06-06-25
By: Andrea Dunlop, and others
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Us, After
- A Memoir of Love and Suicide
- By: Rachel Zimmerman
- Narrated by: Rachel Zimmerman
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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When a state trooper appeared at Rachel Zimmerman’s door to report that her husband had jumped to his death off a nearby bridge, she fell to her knees, unable to fully absorb the news. How could the man she’d married, a devoted father and robotics professor at MIT, have committed such a violent act? How would she explain this to her young daughters? And could she have stopped him? A longtime journalist, she probed obsessively, believing answers would help her survive. She interviewed doctors, suicide researchers, and a man who jumped off the same bridge and lived.
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There’s no “good suicide”
- By Amazon Customer on 07-05-24
By: Rachel Zimmerman
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Never Understood
- The Jesus and Mary Chain
- By: William Reid, Jim Reid
- Narrated by: William Reid, Jim Reid
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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William and Jim Reid, brothers and founding members of The Jesus and Mary Chain—a band that bridged the gap between the punk explosion and the emergence of grunge and Britpop—chronicle the chaos, confusion, and stories behind their music.
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A huge amount of complaining throughout the book. I love JAMC but, sheesh, there is a fair amount of "woe is me"
- By R. on 11-19-24
By: William Reid, and others
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This Far
- My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light
- By: Allison Holker
- Narrated by: Suzanne Elise Freeman
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Allison Holker was just eighteen when she found fame as a contestant on the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. Over the next several years, she had her first child, built a successful career as a professional dancer despite the industry being hostile to working moms, and fell in love with and married fellow dancer Stephen Boss, the former hype man and DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show known for his charisma and relentless positivity
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I hated the voice.
- By Melissa Schoonover on 02-12-25
By: Allison Holker
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Autopsy (of an Ex-Teen Heartthrob)
- (Poems of Rage, Love, Sex, and Sadness)
- By: Avan Jogia
- Narrated by: Avan Jogia
- Length: 2 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Avan Jogia grew up as a teen idol. He stumbled into the spotlight during the birth of the internet, the early days of Instagram and Twitter, before everyone online was a star. He spent his time in that spotlight writing, observing the cult of celebrity, the hilarity, the absurdity, and sometimes sinister side of being idolized before you’ve even had the chance to decide for yourself who you are. Now, in his most revealing and honest work to date, he has assembled a book of poems as an act of self-dissection.
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I'm really bad with titles
- By Aine on 03-28-25
By: Avan Jogia
Thank you for saying all of it.
Tremendous!
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The richest prose
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Neko Case is a feminist icon!
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Thank you Neko
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Her honest voice throws down a clear message of endurance & hope, a force to embrace!
Loved it! Powerful!
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Great Memoir
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The pleasure of having read by the author
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by her voice and music for quite some time. This was a great memior.
If you ever wondered ...
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Nothing short of honest
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Horse Sister riding through sound waves
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