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Gay the Pray Away

By: Natalie Naudus
Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
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Publisher's summary

Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. When she finds a queer book at the library and smuggles it home, her conservative Christian homeschooling world begins to crack. And when the cutest girl she’s ever met shows up to Bible class, she starts to question everything.

Riley is so confident and kind, and she and Valerie bond quickly over existing as multiracial teens in a very white Christian community. As Valerie explores her feelings for Riley, she begins to see that the world she knows is a carefully crafted narrative.

Publicly, the girls are close friends—holding hands in prayer, rooming together at a conference. Privately, they grasp at any chance to continue their forbidden romance—until they are found out. Now, Valerie must choose between staying with a family she fears will never accept her, or running away with the girl she loves.

©2024 Natalie Naudus (P)2024 Natalie Naudus
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Interview: Narrator Natalie Naudus’s debut novel is based on her childhood in a cult

'I'm the waiter serving the food as best I can. But with this, I made the food, I cooked the food.'
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  • Gay the Pray Away
  • 'I'm the waiter serving the food as best I can. But with this, I made the food, I cooked the food.'

Editorial Review

What if you just realized you grew up in a cult?
At Audible, we’ve long known Natalie Naudus as a beloved narrator. Now, she’s written and performed her own novel that’s heavily inspired by her own childhood in a religious cult. To write it, she imagined what her life might have been like if she’d discovered her favorite narrated novels as a teen. Listening to Gay the Pray Away, I was struck not by the darkness of Valerie’s complicated family situation and the prejudice of her community, but by how the story was shot through with hope and discovery, and how it only takes one person to pull you out of a difficult path. It’s a YA story for those who are looking for the bright side to the darkness in our world. — Melissa B., Audible Editor

What listeners say about Gay the Pray Away

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Stunning debut

This is Natalie's debut and she has done a spectacular job writing Val and Riley's story. The characters are well developed throughout the book. The type of religious fervor portrayed is hard to realistically capture unless you have been there, and Natalie has done that.

As an exvangelical and a bisexual person who grew up in a religious environment much like Val's, I empathize so personally with her. The fears, emotions, and brainwashing Val must work through are all starkly real.

Natalie also narrates Gay the Pray Away and is stunning in her performance. I suspect it helps to be the author, but her voice flawlessly pulls us into the story and along the journey.

Gay the Pray Away is a powerful story of breaking free and living authentically. I will reread this, will give it to friends and family, and will recommend it wholeheartedly!!

🌶️ Spice level = .5 (1/2) YA-level kissing and nudity
🌈 Bisexual rep, Sapphic rep
Religious trauma/deconstruction

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I saw myself

it's a really good book. anything else would be far too personal. you should read it

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I could not stop reading!

This book was fantastic! I found myself wanting to get home from literally everywhere to continue listening! The story was heartwarming, heartbreaking and enlightening. Narration by the author was on point! I highly recommend this read/listen.

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Fast, Easy, Hopeful Read

This was such an amazing book. I know it's influenced by the author (who also narrates!) and her upbringing. It's a beautiful story about breaking out of forced expectations to realize that you are good and worthy of love and acceptance as you are. Highly recommend!

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Such an important voice

What an incredible perspective from someone who has clearly borne the brunt of some religious trauma. I am gifting this book to several people and hope they will do the same, perhaps together we can continue lifting more people up and out. Oh, and while the narrator’s not as good as One Last Stop’s, she’s still exceptional. ;) LOL. Wonderful!

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So Raw

This beautiful, true, and honest book resonates so deeply with me. I wish I could have read it in the late 90s when I was the young queer kid kicked out of her parent's house of high-control religion. I couldn't read it then, but now some young queer teen will find this book, will take comfort in it, may take hope from it, and choose to really live. Thank you so much for writing it.

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The morning devotional I needed

Deconstruction of religious trauma, finding your true self while trying not to suffocate in the mold of what others want, and a love story that explores that journey in an authentic and heartwarming way. This book has it all. It truly was heart wrenching but still managed to pick you up, dust you off, and tell you that everything will be okay. It made me feel all the things and more.

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Stunning! Deeply moving, beautifully written and read! Wow

I just finished it and I'm stunned at everything I just lived through. This was a journey into a worlds I never knew existed. I wasn't prepared for this and I can tell you it was amazing. The beautiful expression of love, hope and compassion has had a profound effect on me. I'm so grateful for this book, and hope it offers us. Beautifully written and performed!

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Healing

(Cross positing my review on here and on Goodreads because I wrote a long and heartfelt one and don’t feel like trying to write another)

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This book was the alternate storyline my life desperately needed. Over the last few years I have thought so many times that if I had had access to books like this as a teen, my life would have been immeasurably changed for the better. I grieve the self knowledge and love that I could have had as a child, but I celebrate authors like Natalie doing the work to give young readers hope and to give us seasoned readers healing.

I don’t usually re-read books, but I think this is one I WILL listen to again when I need to find peace and contentment.

Natalie is an expert narrator and true voice actor, but I had no idea what to expect with her writing. I was drawn in immediately and legitimately did not want to “put the book down” - I listened to it in less than a day! Her writing has a beautiful flow and rhythm to it that feels so natural. I thoroughly enjoyed the very not subtle nods to well known people and organizations and appreciate her making it very clear what she’s talking about, because they deserve every bit of calling out possible. She does a really great job of giving unique life and personality to each of her characters and I loved watching their growth throughout. While not raised fundamentalist, I was still raised with very similar teachings and general beliefs and my sister and I call it fundamentalist-adjacent. Valerie’s awakening feels deeply relatable to me on a very personal level and I don’t know if I have ever felt more like a book character in my life. Natalie does a really good job of depicting what a Pandora’s box it is to have an awakening like Valerie’s. Once you see it, it cannot be unseen. You are changed permanently and you begin to lose your ability to tolerate what you somehow dealt with your whole life up until that point. You just…cannot anymore.

I have not felt this strongly about a book in a LONG time. I rarely leave written reviews because I feel like I never have much to say even if I really loved a book, but this one just did something to me that I can’t quite explain.

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An incredible story of real love and acceptance through the pain of deconstruction

Author and Narrator Natalie Naudus weaves this story with authenticity, and her characters are beautifully relatable. I hope this book serves as a safe place for anyone who needs it.

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