How May I Offend You Today?
Rants and Revelations from a Not-So-Proper Southern Lady
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Narrated by:
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Susannah B. Lewis
About this listen
USA Today best-selling author Susannah B. Lewis (creator of Whoa! Susannah) is back with another hilarious take on what so many people are thinking but are afraid to say aloud.
Millions of online fans have flocked to Susannah B. Lewis's hysterical, take-no-prisoners rants about her pet peeves in everyday life. Now, in How May I Offend You Today?, Lewis turns her trademark humor to ordinary events that work her nerves - from people who wear T-shirts with indecent images to public displays of affection in the plumbing aisle of Lowe's - while keeping a wry eye on herself and her own temptation to vent grievances "like a teenage girl in overalls and Birkenstocks.
"Weaving together anecdotes from her distinctly Southern life with frequent references to the Bible, what she calls "our manual for living," Lewis says what many of us have thought, and in the process she encourages us to stand firm in our views. The witty yet down-to-earth banter and uplifting, inspirational message of How May I Offend You Today? gives listeners everywhere the boost necessary to make it through even their most trying days.
©2020 Susannah B. Lewis (P)2020 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Amy Weatherly, Jess Johnston
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Loneliness doesn't care what age you are, how many Instagram followers you have, or where you call home. It doesn't care how "put together" you appear to the outside world. We have a collective wound that only authentic sisterhood can heal. With real-life vulnerability and "I’ve been there, too" wisdom about building deep and satisfying friendships, Amy and Jess unpack the lies we've been told about friendship
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Heavy religious content slightly off-putting
- By Gary on 03-12-22
By: Amy Weatherly, and others
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Lead Me
- Finding Courage to Fight for Your Marriage, Children, and Faith
- By: Matt Hammitt, Bart Millard - Foreword
- Narrated by: Matt Hammitt
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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In Lead Me, Matt identifies the tension many men experience when trying to balance work and home life. With bracing honesty, vulnerable storytelling, and practical application, Matt challenges you to be faithful both to God's vocational call and to His call to lead your family well. Discover the extraordinary joy of actively and intentionally pursuing your wife and children. Matt reminds us that it's messy. It's difficult. And it's the most rewarding thing you can do, beyond following Christ.
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Raw reality
- By Hickupnorth on 10-27-24
By: Matt Hammitt, and others
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The Shop on Blossom Street
- By: Debbie Macomber
- Narrated by: Linda Emond
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Abridged
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There's a little shop on Blossom Street in Seattle called A Good Yarn. You go there to buy knitting supplies and patterns, and now it's offering a knitting class. The first lesson: how to knit a baby blanket.
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Shop on Blossom Street
- By Christine on 07-30-05
By: Debbie Macomber
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She Laughs
- Choosing Faith over Fear
- By: Carolanne Miljavac
- Narrated by: Carolanne Miljavac
- Length: 3 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Social media star and author CA Miljavac believes with all her heart that laughter is a gift, providing a sliver of distraction from life's struggles...relief when you need rescuing...hope in the midst of hardship. Though her life has been dotted with disaster, it's through laughter that she found the strength and courage to persevere...joy for the journey. And she'll help women of all ages discover the ways laughter can carry them through their very own painful situations.
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Amazing
- By Christine Eichenauer on 08-17-20
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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The Way of the Wise
- Simple Truths for Living Well
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Want to live a satisfying life? Figure out your purpose on the planet? Leave a powerful legacy? In The Way of the Wise, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman reveals 10 life-changing principles - all packed in six amazing little verses by the wisest man of all, King Solomon. They have everything to do with who you are, where your heart is, who you think God is, and who you want to become.
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Walking with God
- By Connie on 09-21-18
By: Kevin Leman
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Father Fiction
- Chapters for a Fatherless Generation
- By: Donald Miller
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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A memoir with a message, this audiobook shares the angst of a boy growing up without a father and how he found his way.
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Should make it clear this is a religious book
- By Victoria on 05-10-19
By: Donald Miller
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Hope Unfolding
- Grace-Filled Truth for the Momma's Heart
- By: Becky Thompson
- Narrated by: Becky Thompson
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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God's love, plans, and promises for you are forever unfolding. I get it, Momma. I totally get it. Every day you wake up and try your very best. You love, give, and pour out your life for the ones who call you Momma. But no matter how much you offer, there are still days you feel as though you come up short. You worry, "Am I loving these babies enough? Is this ever going to get easier? Why does it seem like I am the only one who cannot balance it all?" Sometimes we just need hope (and maybe a long, uninterrupted nap).
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Just what I needed
- By D. Romero on 12-15-16
By: Becky Thompson
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Women Living Well
- Find Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids, and Your Home
- By: Courtney Joseph
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Women desire to live well. However, living well in this modern world is a challenge. The pace of life, along with the new front porch of social media, has changed the landscape of our lives. Women have been told for far too long that being on the go and accumulating more things will make their lives full. As a result, we grasp for the wrong things in life and come up empty.
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Wonderful, uplifting book.
- By The Firm Finance on 03-29-16
By: Courtney Joseph
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Throw Out Fifty Things
- Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life
- By: Gail Blanke
- Narrated by: Gail Blanke
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Abridged
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Throw Out Fifty Things is truly an eye-opener. According to Blanke, our lives are so filled with junk from the past—from dried up tubes of crazy glue to old grudges—that's it's a wonder we can get up in the morning, never mind go to work, care for our children and parents, and just put one foot in front of the other. Blanke wants to start a movement of people across America throwing out 50 things (magazines count as one!) that will help liberate us from the stuff—both physical and mental—that clutters our lives.
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So useful, listened to it a 2nd time right away.
- By Zeus on 02-02-10
By: Gail Blanke
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Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines.
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Twins Della and Darby Redd may be identical in appearance, but they couldn’t be more different. Della is outspoken, obsessed with purple, and desperate to be accepted by her peers. Darby is introverted, creative, and sees no need to speak to anyone besides her sister and grandmother, Birdie. Due to a tragedy from their past, all three women’s lives have been blanketed in judgment, scandal, and rumor, preventing them from experiencing true peace and contentment in their small town of Clay Station, Mississippi.
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What listeners say about How May I Offend You Today?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- KMC
- 02-04-21
Southern Truth
Great advise to live by. The Golden Rule all braided-up with humor and grace.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-02-21
Such a great read!!
This book was awesome! Susannah is so funny and I found myself cracking up all throughout this book. I also cried a few times, especially when she talked about her sweet pup Newt. She is an excellent writer and her stories of life and her walk with Christ are enjoyable, heartwarming and inspiring!
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- Jonathon Hill
- 03-14-23
Loved it…again
I’ve listened a dozen times and I will listen a dozen more. After “you can’t make this stuff up” it’s another favorite. I listen when I need a reality check, a dose of Jesus, when I miss my mom or dad or dog. Or when I just want to laugh and cry at the same time. If anyone has a negative review they obviously have never followed the author on Facebook because she is real and brilliant and hysterical! And I don’t think pajamas should be worn in Walmart either!! Many blessings to Susannah Lewis!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Christy Todd
- 10-28-20
Thank You
My heart cried as I listened. Your words always inspire me to do better and be better. You talk from n the heart and show love and grace.
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- OlatheShadi
- 02-07-21
Amazing as always with Susannah
I have listened to Susannah since Anna & Susannah and she never fails me. This book led me to think of some topics such as those "thrive on neglect" people and why my teens are so moody. This book was an easy read because she is just like me in so many ways. Would recommend to anyone.
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- J. Breit
- 03-04-21
LOVE!!
I love her real, honest story. She makes life a blessing, even through difficult times. She’s funny & keeps you interested.
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- Jennifer Smithey
- 10-31-20
Always a blessing!
Love this lady and her delivery of Gods message! Really makes you take a look at yourself and stop and think a minute! Keep up the good work Susannah!!!!! Blessings to you and your family!!!!
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- Melody Clifton
- 10-21-20
You can't NOT love her!
Susannah is funny, real, and best of all she's a God-loving southern woman! Her stories are the best!!
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- Fred Beebe
- 03-13-21
A cheerful reader
I loved the book. The sense of humor of the author was great. She pointed out things that happen to all of us yet she has a loving soul. Her dedication to the Lord is shown through in her storytelling. I really enjoyed it.
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- Tiffany
- 10-24-20
A fantastic God fearing, feel good book
As great as Can't Make This Stuff Up! I appreciate every word! Reccomend to Christian southern ladies!
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