How to Ruin Everything
Essays
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Narrated by:
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George Watsky
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By:
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George Watsky
About this listen
A New York Times best seller.
Are you a sensible, universally competent individual? Are you tired of the crushing monotony of leaping gracefully from one lily pad of success to the next? Are you sick of doing everything right? In this brutally honest and humorous debut, musician and artist George Watsky chronicles the small triumphs over humiliation that make life bearable and how he has come to accept defeat as necessary to personal progress. The essays in How to Ruin Everything range from the absurd (how he became an international ivory smuggler) to the comical (his middle-school rap battle dominance) to the revelatory (his experiences with epilepsy), yet all are delivered with the type of linguistic dexterity and self-awareness that has won Watsky devoted fans across the globe. Alternately ribald and emotionally resonant, How to Ruin Everything announces a versatile writer with a promising career ahead.
©2016 George Watsky (P)2016 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Funny, subversive, and able to excavate such brutally honest sentences that you find yourself nodding your head in wonder and recognition." (Lin-Manuel Miranda, composer and lyricist of In the Heights and Hamilton: An American Musical)
“Watsky is a skillful lyricist who has successfully transferred his wit, humor and humility into a smartly written collection of essays. How to Ruin Everything shows off his versatility as a writer and proves that the nerdy guys can also be part of the cool crowd.” (Russell Simmons)
“George Watsky is a lyrical mastermind. Unflinchingly honest, sincere, and gut-wrenchingly funny, How to Ruin Everything is one of the best books I've read this year. Watsky effortlessly translates his razor sharp wit from the stage to the page. This will be the first of many amazing books in the life of a tireless artist.” (Hasan Minhaj, The Daily Show correspondent)
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Darling Days
- A Memoir
- By: iO Tillett Wright
- Narrated by: iO Tillett Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Born into the beautiful bedlam of downtown New York in the eighties, iO Tillett Wright came of age at the intersection of punk, poverty, heroin, and art. This was a world of self-invented characters, glamorous superstars, and strung-out sufferers, ground zero of drag and performance art. Still, no personality was more vibrant and formidable than iO's mother's. Rhonna, a showgirl and young widow, was a mercurial, erratic glamazon. She was iO's fiercest defender and only authority in a world with few boundaries and even fewer indicators of normal life.
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Can’t wait for more from this Author!
- By Team Hobson on 07-24-19
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Diary of a Stage Mother's Daughter
- By: Melissa Francis
- Narrated by: Cris Dukehart
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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When Melissa Francis was eight years old, she won the role of lifetime: playing Cassandra Cooper Ingalls, the little girl who was adopted with her brother (played by young Jason Bateman) by the Ingalls family on the world’s most famous prime-time soap opera, Little House on the Prairie. But behind the scenes, her success was fueled by the pride, pressure, and sometimes grinding cruelty of her stage mother.
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Awesome book - really enjoyed it.
- By Jane C. Bailey on 11-16-12
By: Melissa Francis
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Double Feature
- A Novel
- By: Owen King
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Unraveling the tumultuous, decades-spanning story of the Dolan family’s friends, lovers, and adversaries, Double Feature is about letting go of everything - regret, resentment, ambition, dignity, moving pictures, the dead - and taking it again from the top. Combining propulsive storytelling and mordant wit against the backdrop of indie filmmaking, Double Feature brims with a deep understanding of the trials of ambition and art, of relationships and life, and of our attempts to survive it all.
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Worst book ever! Well maybe.
- By Randall on 08-11-17
By: Owen King
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Double Take
- By: Kevin Michael Connolly
- Narrated by: Kevin Michael Connolly
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Double take: a rapid or surprised second look, either literal or figurative, at a person or situation whose significance has not been completely grasped at first. Kevin Michael Connolly is a 23-year-old man who has seen the world in a way most of us never will. Whether swarmed by Japanese tourists at Epcot Center as a child or holding court at the X Games on his mono-ski, Kevin Connolly has been an object of curiosity since the day he was born without legs.
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Love this story so much
- By R. MCRACKAN on 07-04-18
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Make Something Up
- Stories You Can't Unread
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Chuck Palahniuk, Scott Sowers, Rich Orlow, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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For years Chuck Palahniuk has reserved his best storytelling for his readings, often choosing to read a new short story instead of whatever novel he is supposed to be promoting. Make Something Up compiles these previously unpublished tales for the very first time, plus the Byliner social media insta-classic "Phoenix" and Palahniuk's most notable pieces from Playboy.
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Plenty of shock, just not enough Palahniuk awe
- By Darwin8u on 06-10-15
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Rats Saw God
- By: Rob Thomas
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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By his senior year, Steve York has come through the worst two years of his life. His parents have divorced, and his girlfriend has betrayed him. Worse yet, after running away to live with his mother in San Diego, forays into the drug culture have turned his A-average into a thing of the past. Steve's only hope to graduate on time and avoid summer school is to write a 100-page paper for his guidance counselor. Unfortunately, he has to write about something he knows, and all he knows well are the last two years of his life.
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Real
- By Mary on 06-26-09
By: Rob Thomas
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The Source of All Things
- A Memoir
- By: Tracy Ross
- Narrated by: Tracy Ross
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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A loving and devoted step-father, Donnie introduced Tracy Ross's family to the joys of fishing, deer hunting, camping, and hiking among the pristine mountains of rural Idaho. Donnie was everything Tracy dreamed a dad would be: protective, brave, and kind. But when his dependence on his eight-year-old daughter's companionship went too far, everything changed.
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Brave Woman
- By Ray Stewart on 06-23-24
By: Tracy Ross
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Some Girls
- My Life in a Harem
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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A jaw-dropping story of how a girl from the suburbs ends up in a prince's harem and emerges from the secret Xanadu both richer and wiser. At 18, Jillian Lauren was an NYU theater school dropout with a tip about an upcoming audition. The "casting director" told her that a rich businessman would pay pretty girls $20,000 if they stayed for two weeks to spice up his parties. Soon, Jillian was on a plane to Borneo, where she would spend the next 18 months in the harem of Prince Jefri Bolkiah....
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Boring, Pretentious Book
- By Marcos on 04-23-11
By: Jillian Lauren
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The Ride of Our Lives
- Roadside Lessons of an American Family
- By: Mike Leonard
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Mike Leonard is a lucky man. It’s not everyone who gets parents like Jack and Marge. At 87, Jack is a pathological optimist with an inexhaustible gift of gab. Marge, Jack’s bride of 60 years, though cut from the same rough bolt of Irish immigrant cloth, is his polar opposite - pessimistic and proud of it. What was their son, Mike, thinking when he took a sabbatical from his job with NBC News so he could pile these two world-class originals along with three of his grown kids and a daughter-in-law into a pair of rented RVs and hit the road for a month?
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Hilarious!!!
- By TurtlesRMe on 03-06-07
By: Mike Leonard
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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The Opposite of Loneliness
- Essays and Stories
- By: Marina Keegan
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Marina Keegan's star was on the rise when she graduated magna cum laude from Yale in May 2012. She had a play that was to be produced at the New York International Fringe Festival and a job waiting for her at the New Yorker. Tragically, five days after graduation, Marina died in a car crash. Even though she was just 22 when she died, Marina left behind a rich, expansive trove of prose that, like her title essay, captures the hope, uncertainty, and possibility of her generation.
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Probably buy the book too.
- By Soupergirl on 09-14-15
By: Marina Keegan
What listeners say about How to Ruin Everything
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Erick Lipkowski
- 05-23-19
A Celebration of Unsure
It's okay to have a mistake become a vibrant tapestry, revel in a small moment.
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- C. Blue Art
- 04-24-18
From College Slam Poet to National Rap Star
This book gives incredible insight to the life of George Watsky. There's a palpable rhythm to each essay. Thijs would make for a great Spring Book. It's a light read and worth the extra few bucks to hear the autthor read it to you.
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- Jason from Texas
- 08-31-16
watsky ruins everything.
if you happen to be a 20 something in 20something and you happen to question that life you're building around yourself this book might offer a little insight into decisions you didnt make.
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- jace
- 01-18-17
Wonderful
Watskys is the only person who could narrate this book is provides so much wonderful insight into his colorful world.
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- Erica Hunt
- 07-25-16
What a talented guy!
George Watsky's essays, read by George Watsky, make you realize you were as talented as he is. Some of the stories you feel like you know the characters personally. I loved the story about the Giants, Uncle Saul and returning to the Fillmore. Nice work George!
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- Gail Herbert
- 09-30-16
Nonsense and Existentialism Galore
A poetic, insightful, free-form experience that adheres less to plot than sheer imagination and insight.
George Watsky is a blacksmith of the written word, and a warrior in verbally wielding it. Great, eclectic read, but scattered and disproportionately interesting. Some essays left me wanting more, others made me disinterested. All-around great read.
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- Neal Ww
- 02-15-19
First audiobook I've enjoyed more than reading
Phenomenal performance by George Watsky. It's worth so much more hearing Watsky recount the life situations he wrote so passionately about. No other person could have done this justice.
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- James
- 10-01-16
Good stories
It was great to tie together the pieces of Watsky's life and figure out a lot of the inspirations for his songs. Must have for the Watsky fans.
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- Paul
- 02-28-17
Read by the author<br />
the author reading his own book really makes the book sound good. George Watsky has experience with vocal performance, so it is even better.
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- fivetail
- 08-11-17
Unexpectedly insightful.
Open, smart, heartfelt, and honest. Killer narration. Not every chapter is equally engaging, but when he gets it right, he gets it right. I've gone back and listened to the one about Baseball four times now. Goddamn.
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