-
Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die
- And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love, and More Things That Ruin Your Life
- Narrated by: Daniel Sloss
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
One of this generation's hottest and boldest young comedians presents a transgressive and hilarious analysis of all of our dysfunctional relationships, and attempts to point us in the vague direction of sanity.
Daniel Sloss' stand-up comedy engages, enrages, offends, unsettles, educates, comforts, and gets audiences roaring with laughter - all at the same time. In his groundbreaking specials, seen on Netflix and HBO, he has brilliantly tackled everything from male toxicity and friendship to love, romance, and marriage - and claims (with the data to back it up) that his on-stage laser-like dissection of relationships has single-handedly caused more than 300 divorces and 120,000 breakups.
Now, in his first book, he picks up where his specials left off, and goes after every conceivable kind of relationship - with one's country (Sloss' is Scotland); with America; with lovers, ex-lovers, ex-lovers who you hate, ex-lovers who hate you; with parents; with best friends (male and female), not-best friends; with children; with siblings; and even with the global pandemic and our own mortality. In Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die, every human connection gets the brutally funny (and unfailingly incisive) Sloss treatment as he illuminates the ways in which all of our relationships are fragile and ridiculous and awful - but also valuable and meaningful and important.
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- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- By: Humble the Poet
- Narrated by: Humble the Poet
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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Normal Gets You Nowhere
- By: Kelly Cutrone
- Narrated by: Kelly Cutrone
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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With Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone invites us to get our freak on. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in. Think Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, John Lennon, and Rosa Parks. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people hung a light on their differences - and changed humanity in the process. “I know you don’t feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?” Cutrone says.
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For open minds and hearts.
- By Kelly on 01-06-12
By: Kelly Cutrone
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Short Stories of William Somerset Maugham, Volume 1
- By: W. Somerset Maugham
- Narrated by: Charlton Griffin
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Winner of the 2001 Audie Award for Classic Fiction, this is an unparalleled presentation of Maugham's stories, complete with sound effects and music.
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Jewels!
- By Jacko45 on 07-05-04
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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500 Funny Quotes for Women
- Inspirational Quotes to Boost Your Mood Instantly & Make Your Day a Little Happier!
- By: Stan Hardy
- Narrated by: Jill Rolls
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Funny quotes are great; they allow us to take a quick break, relax, and take life a bit easier. And who doesn’t need those in today’s hectic life? Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, 500 Funny Quotes for Women could be a perfect choice!
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Made me smile.
- By Lyvon Netherton on 04-13-24
By: Stan Hardy
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Professional Troublemaker
- The Fear-Fighter Manual
- By: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Narrated by: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Luvvie Ajayi Jones is known for her trademark wit, warmth, and perpetual truth-telling. But even she's been challenged by the enemy of progress known as fear. She was once afraid to call herself a writer, and nearly skipped out on doing a TED talk that changed her life because of imposter syndrome. As she shares in Professional Troublemaker, she's not alone.
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I’m missing something
- By Cheval Violet on 04-22-21
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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It's Not You
- 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
- By: Sara Eckel
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single - you just are.
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Good Book
- By Anonymous User on 05-24-20
By: Sara Eckel
What listeners say about Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Rachel Clark
- 10-22-21
Read this book immediately
Best travel guide book of Scotland ever. 10/10 no notes. I ignored many things that would’ve made me a decent employee and juman just to continue listening to this book. It’s fantastic. Daniel has a unique gift of being such an open dick and yet it’s comforting and I want to be friends with him. Highly recommend!
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- Jessica Reinsch
- 01-02-23
HILARIOUS. Great stories, jokes, and advice
Great artist. He is hilarious, real, and unique. His perspective is always worth the ponder.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-10-23
Best thing since sliced bread (sliced bread never stood a chance)
If you haven’t binged all of Daniel’s comedy specials (which you likely have) this is a hilarious addition to everything else he’s already got out there. Unwillingly, Daniel is also amazingly inspiring and real about reminding us to be happy with ourselves and our own company instead of seeking happiness in others. Sorry Daniel, you’re the prophet you never wanted to become. Congrats, don’t get your ego in a knot.
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- Clarke Reader
- 03-20-23
Classic standup material
Great book, delightfully read. Just like his standup, recommend without reservation. Share far and wide!
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1 person found this helpful
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- T. Scot
- 01-25-22
A witty, insightful, fun listen
I will preface by saying I love Daniel Sloss. He is bright, hilarious, and can run pretty deep. This book did not disappoint, even with my rather high expectations. It's really just a book of ruminations, a lot of which are based on his philosophies on relationships. I would definitely highly recommend this book.
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- V
- 03-15-22
Loved every second of it!
I love Daniel Sloss's stand up so I hoped this would be similar and it is. There are loads of fantastic and bad books from comedians so you never know what you'll end up with. The book is similar and covers a lot of the topics in his Jigsaw and Dark specials so I enjoyed it. if youre a fan, I recommend picking it up and trying it for yourself. Crude and hilarious!
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- Michala Vasickova
- 06-17-23
Smart, funny, dark. Loved it!
I love Daniel’s humor. Smart, witty, dark, insightful… Enjoyed the book very much as well as his stand up shows. And good idea let him read it… it needs his signature delivery.
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- Erin Michael
- 08-19-22
Effing Brilliant
I was truly bummed when the book ended. I love listening to him, his perspective is refreshing and interesting and resonates with me. I love his analogies. And I’m not just being hyperbolic here — I feel so much love for this guy and I’m so glad he’s in the world making things and sharing his take on everything. His book is, of course, funny; it’s also provocative and profound and poignant and pertinent. Highly recommend.
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- herozero
- 12-06-23
Feckin Phenomenal
Love the stand up, but this made me love the human even more. So well written. And narrated better than 90%of the books done by pros. A joy to listen to, as the accent and tone and mannerisms are an integral part of this piece. Also, thank you for including so much background and humor throughout, but leaving enough truth that actually does inspire. I laughed so hard and am not around folks who would get it, but I'll be honest the acknowledgements was a favorite part too, and I cried at the end. Partly cuz I don't want it to be over, but partly cuz the love you have for your sister!!! Here's to a relationship with your girl and kiddos that is that much better than even your folks.
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- Jimena Rivera
- 05-07-24
Brilliant!
I enjoyed this book from the moment it began, Daniel is incredible smart and hilarious!
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