I Hate Men
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Narrated by:
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Emily Lucienne
About this listen
Women, especially feminists and lesbians, have long been accused of hating men. Our instinct is to deny it at all costs. (After all, women have been burnt at the stake for admitting to less.)
But what if mistrusting men, disliking men – and yes, maybe even hating men – is, in fact, a useful response to sexism? What if such a response offers a way out of oppression, a means of resistance? What if it even offers a path to joy, solidarity and sisterhood?
In this sparkling essay, as mischievous and provocative as it is urgent and serious, Pauline Harmange interrogates modern attitudes to feminism and makes a rallying cry for women to find a greater love for each other – and themselves.
©2020 Pauline Harmange (P)2020 HarperCollins Publishers LimitedListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
‘A good book, written from a burning heart but with a cool head’ The Times
‘Rousing … a call to liberation. Her writing is full of hope, unwavering in its trust of other women and their abilities’ Independent
‘An exhilarating essay to be read in one sitting’ Libération
‘Written in wise prose, devoid of excess or rage, I Hate Men explores the terrain of contemporary feminism, its arguments in keeping with those of writers like Rebecca Solnit, as well as the movement's key ideas: patriarchy, the mental load, #MeToo and solidarity’ L’Obs
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Story
Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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On Freedom
- Four Songs of Care and Constraint
- By: Maggie Nelson
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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So often deployed as a jingoistic, even menacing rallying cry, or limited by a focus on passing moments of liberation, the rhetoric of freedom both rouses and repels. Does it remain key to our autonomy, justice, and well-being, or is freedom's long star turn coming to a close? Does a continued obsession with the term enliven and emancipate, or reflect a deepening nihilism (or both)? On Freedom examines such questions by tracing the concept's complexities in four distinct realms: art, sex, drugs, and climate.
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Just great
- By Kristi Strong on 12-14-21
By: Maggie Nelson
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The Conversation
- How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
- By: Harper Hill
- Narrated by: Kevin Free
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
- By Nevada on 08-13-10
By: Harper Hill
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Bad Sex
- Truth, Pleasure, and an Unfinished Revolution
- By: Nona Willis Aronowitz
- Narrated by: Nona Willis Aronowitz
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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At thirty-two years old, everything in Nona Willis Aronowitz’s life, and in America, was in disarray. Her marriage was falling apart. Her nuclear family was slipping away. Her heart and libido were both in overdrive. Embroiled in an era of fear, reckoning, and reimagining, her assumptions of what “sexual liberation” meant were suddenly up for debate.
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I was born in the 50s, sexually active in the mid 70s
- By Pixel on 08-22-22
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Controlling People
- How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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In Controlling People, best-selling author Patricia Evans tackles the "controlling personality" and reveals how and why these people try to run other people's lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior - even as they alienate others and often lose those they love. Should you ever find yourself in the thrall of someone close to you, Controlling People is here to give you the wisdom, power, and comfort you need to be a stronger, happier, and more independent person.
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EXTRAORDINARY
- By Rob on 02-27-14
By: Patricia Evans
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- By: Philip Goldberg, Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: Mark Goulston
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
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Nothing new
- By MsJulyswimwear on 07-25-20
By: Philip Goldberg, and others
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The Way of the Heathen
- Practicing Atheism in Everyday Life
- By: Greta Christina
- Narrated by: Greta Christina
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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So you're an atheist. Now what? The way we deal with life - with love and sex, pleasure and death, reality and making stuff up - can change dramatically when we stop believing in gods, souls, and afterlives. When we leave religion - or if we never had it in the first place - where do we go? With her unique blend of compassion and humor, thoughtfulness and snark, Greta Christina most emphatically does not propose a single path to a good atheist life. She offers questions to think about, ideas that may be useful, and encouragement to choose your own way.
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Navigating the world outside of church
- By Scott Bresinger on 01-21-17
By: Greta Christina
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Hustle and Heart
- By: Kailyn Lowry
- Narrated by: Renee Chambliss
- Length: 2 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Hustle and Heart is packed with inspiring, motivational messages, personal advice, and relatable experiences for those making their way through life's challenging mix of joy and hardship. From bullying, sexual assault, and body image to motherhood, marriage, and career challenges, Kailyn wants you to know that there's nothing you can't survive - with a little bit of hustle and heart.
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Loved this, really impressed by Kailyn amazing job
- By Elizabeth on 07-26-18
By: Kailyn Lowry
What listeners say about I Hate Men
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- E. Martinez
- 10-16-22
Fantastic book!
Don't be put off by the title, which can sound a little harsh. The author uses statistics and well thought-out ideas to discuss feminist topics, while also explaining that she loves her husband and other men in her life. It's very pro-woman without being a male-bashing, negative diatribe about men; it's not polarizing in that way. I found it very inspiring and illuminating, and the writing is clear and entertaining.
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- ElianaT.
- 11-18-22
Brilliant essay!
Don’t hesitate to purchase because it’s short. Very well written and researched. No wasted words!
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- Lisa
- 01-18-24
She’s right…
This book made the point that so many women have been trying to. Yes there are good men, but on a global scale throughout history men have been horrible. And it makes sense to hate your oppressor.
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- Ciara
- 01-11-21
Beautiful and bold
This woman has so much courage. Everything that an “aware” woman has thought, and felt ashamed for thinking, (thank you patriarchy) has been solidified and made right in this book. Hating men is natural when a woman can not walk at night without fear. Hating men is natural when the inequality is slapped in our face on a daily basis. I am white and privileged, and feel the effects of inequality so much, can you not acknowledge the pain of a woman of color? Of a little girl of color? This book is a war cry, and it rallied me. This is deeper than women hating men.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Elsa
- 08-24-21
A changed man
Im a man who just realized how stupid I am lol. This book describes male fallibility to a scary degree. Im truly surprised to say that women are right, I never truly believed women’s equality was a problem. Women need to keep fighting because men need to change.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Dark Dee
- 01-13-21
Misandry is not misogyny
What a great listen. The idea comes up: what would women be if they could realize their true potential, a condition that could only be possible without men’s feet on our throats. Brilliant, well written and thought provoking. Long live feminism!
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3 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 01-12-21
Thank you Pauline!!
Your book has helped me explain how I feel about men. My new favorite book. I look forward to discovering more work from Pauline Harmange. I can't find the words to describe how this book made me feel like I wasn't crazy.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Yina Ye
- 07-20-23
Great book every woman and man should read
Great storytelling based on stats and analysis! It also calls out gender bias that subtly embedded in daily life and easily ignored as they are too common.
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- Beth T.
- 01-14-21
Well Done
I enjoyed listening to this, as I have wondered about many of these same things all my life.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Laurie
- 01-09-22
Fantastique!
I listened to the sample first and there was so much truth in what she was saying that I had to listen to the entire essay. A mediocre man gets so much attention in this world, a woman exerting worlds of effort, very little. Men perpetrate most of the violence that damages society and individuals. In general, they do not seem to be able to gain much insight into their actions and motivations. It’s high time that we women stop giving them a pass for exploitative behavior, arrogance and egotism just because they are men. She nails it. And why not call it misandry? What else would you call it when struggling against the abusive behavior of half the human race?
I differ with just one thing she said: she is clearly making an exception for men that are not cis —heterosexual. I don’t think that’s correct. It’s not just cisgender men that participate in the patriarchy. They all benefit from it and participate to one extent or another.
It interesting that this book created such a firestorm in the press. What did she say that was so terrible?
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2 people found this helpful