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If I Disappear

By: Eliza Jane Brazier
Narrated by: Kristen Sieh
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Publisher's summary

“This new novel has more twists and fakeouts than an episode of Serial.” (Rolling Stone)

“An eerie, twisted thriller sure to shake up the most seasoned true crime die-hard." (Harper's Bazaar)

A Most Anticipated Book of 2021 by Rolling Stone • CNN • E! Online • Buzzfeed New York Post PopSugar Woman's Day Crime Reads Hello Giggles

When her favorite true-crime podcast host goes missing, an adrift young woman sets out to investigate and plunges headfirst into the wild backcountry of Northern California and her own dangerous obsession.

Sera loves true-crime podcasts. They give her a sense of control in a world where women just like her disappear daily. She's sure they are preparing her for something. So when Rachel, her favorite podcast host, goes missing, Sera knows it's time to act. Rachel has always taught her to trust her instincts.

Sera follows the clues hidden in the episodes to an isolated ranch outside Rachel's small hometown to begin her search. She's convinced her investigation will make Rachel so proud. But the more Sera digs into this unfamiliar world, the more off things start to feel. Because Rachel is not the first woman to vanish from the ranch, and she won't be the last....

Rachel did try to warn her.

©2021 Eliza Jane Brazier (P)2021 Penguin Audio
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Critic reviews

"This author is a breath of fresh air in an oversaturated, congested world of thrillers. Watch out, Gillian Flynn - mystery thrillers have a new ingenue and her name is Eliza Jane Brazier.” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

“This twisted and riveting thriller is one that will keep you up late at night with suspense.” (CNN)

“A skillful dissection of true-crime podcast culture and those obsessed with it, this new novel has more twists and fakeouts than an episode of Serial.... If I Disappear throws into sharp relief how desensitized we can become when we treat real life like a game.” (Rolling Stone)

What listeners say about If I Disappear

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Slow Build but Good

Read this for my book club-
I had a hard time getting through the first half- it’s a slow build but towards the end I couldn’t stop listening until I knew what happened.
The twists at the end left my jaw dropped.

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2 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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If I Disappear

A true crime mystery pod cast leads to murder, but who is the real murderer? It all comes out in the end, but if you are like me you will be left wanting more information.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Interesting

Interesting plot, end has too many loose ends so I’m not sure I like how it concluded

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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A Good Hard Look at how we consume true crime

This was a good social commentary story, although it was a struggle to get through it, for me. The narrators tone was very disconnected from the characters, which was disconcerting for me but it does add to the story in the sense that the main character viewed her time in the tale as an immersive true crime experience.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Inaccurate locations

I got excited to see a book that takes place in my neck of the woods. I used to live in Eureka, and I now work in Yreka, all the while working for the State Highway, so I'm familiar with Happy Camp and everything in between these towns, and there is not just one Hwy between Eureka and Yreka, not even just one road. But it was more disappointing hearing here descriptions of Happy Camp. She modeled it after any generic small town, but Happy Camp is anything but generic.
I'm still going to listen, hoping she gets more sign posts right as it goes, but so far I'm disappointed.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

good story

The narrator is excellent! I will recommend this read. I think I would've fallen for Jed too! lol

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Compelling and smart…until it isn’t

This book took me a while to finish, but that’s because the first few chapters didn’t grab me and I hadn’t listened again until this past week. I thoroughly enjoyed this story, and the author created a mystery light enough to be entertaining, but just deep enough to keep you hooked. I thought I’d figured out the twists and turns, but then I’d be surprised and keep pressing on.

Then, the final act happens and everything careens off the road so quickly, it’s jarring and throws the entire story off. What small mysteries the author laid throughout the story do come together in the end, but there are too many threads left hanging, and the resolution of the story is so disappointing, you’ll wonder why you kept up with it.

The pay off is so unsatisfactory, you’ll want to trade this book in and look for something to scratch that itch you really want. And for a story with such a steady and thought out narrative, it’s unfortunate the author didn’t give the reader enough credit to really stick the landing. It doesn’t leave us wanting more, it leaves us wondering if we really wanted the amount we got in the first place.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

I dont even know what I just read

So confusing, unlikable characters, weird story line. I wanted to like it but just couldn't.

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12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it

This book was not what I expected- it was so much more! It held me til the end and then shocked me again.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Wow!

What a ride this book was! Crazy, unlikable characters but the story was interesting. It was wild, but I enjoyed it.

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